← Back to sermon library

Please turn your Bibles to Colossians 
chapter three, as we work our way through Paul's letter to 
the Church of Colossae. Colossians chapter three. Colossians three, I'll begin 
reading in verse one. If then you were raised with 
Christ, seek those things which are above where Christ is sitting 
at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, 
not on things on the earth. For you died and your life is 
hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, 
appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Therefore, 
put to death your members which are on the earth, fornication, 
uncleanness, passion, evil desire and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things, the 
wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience in which 
you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. But now you 
yourselves are to put off all these anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, 
filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another since 
you have put off the old man with his deeds and have put on 
the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image 
of him who created him, whether it's neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised 
nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but 
Christ is all and in all. Therefore, as the elect of God, 
holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, 
meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another and forgiving 
one another. If anyone has a complaint against 
another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things, put 
on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace 
of Christ rule in your hearts, to which also you were called 
in one body and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell 
in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one 
another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with 
grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or 
deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to 
God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, 
as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and 
do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in 
all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not 
provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, 
obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with 
eye service as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing 
God. And whatever you do, do it heartily 
as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you 
will receive the reward of the inheritance for you serve the 
Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be 
repaid for what he has done. And there is no partiality. Masters, 
give your bond servants what is just and fair, knowing that 
you also have a master in heaven. Amen. Well, let us pray. Father, 
we come now to consider the Holy Scriptures and we pray again 
for your spirit to be at work in our hearts and in our minds. 
We pray that you would forgive us now for all of our sins and 
cleanse us afresh in the blood of Jesus Christ and help us to 
see this glorious gospel and its implications for our lives. 
Help us, God, to take these things to heart and to pray them in 
and to seek by your grace to live accordingly. We pray for 
any and all who have come here that do not know you, Lord. We 
do not come before you because we are better or or we have responded 
well. We all come by grace alone through 
faith alone, and that's our heartfelt desire for strangers to the to 
the to the grace of God. At this point, we pray that you 
would be merciful, that you would speak to sinners through your 
word and by your spirit, not only here, but throughout this 
world, God, as your gospel. is being preached. We pray that 
many would come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. And 
we ask in His most blessed name. Amen. Well, remember, the larger 
context we're looking at a portrait or a survey of a new man and 
what that new man looks like, having been made alive in the 
Lord Jesus Christ. Now, if you look for just a moment 
at verse eleven in chapter three, it says where there is neither 
great nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, 
slave nor free, but Christ is all in all. We see here that 
God has created a new humanity. Now, some could take that statement 
and believe that all distinction and all roles are done away with. In other words, if we look at 
verse 11, we might conclude that we're all just one now. There 
is no specific function. There is no specific role. There 
is no distinction among us whatsoever. I think Paul is highlighting 
here redemptive solidarity, the unity that we have as believers 
in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's not as if men are somehow 
closer to God through Christ than women are. No, men and women, 
slave and free, circumcised and uncircumcised. All of us who 
have come to Christ in faith are one and united to Him. We all enjoy the same benefit, 
redemptively speaking. Now, the fact of that, or that 
fact does not disregard or do away with role distinctions and 
roles within the family. And that's what Paul addresses 
here in verses eighteen and following. In fact, far from eliminating 
the family and social distinctions or the roles of those in such 
a context. Redemption in Christ enables 
a man, enables a woman, enables a child, enables parents, enables 
masters and servants to actually fulfill their roles in the manner 
in which God has purpose. So, far from doing away from 
these things, the gospel comes and facilitates these things. 
The gospel comes and regulates these things. The gospel comes 
and makes these things function in the manner that God had intended. Murray Harris says this whole 
section shows that to pursue the realm above, as we are told 
in chapter three, verse one, and to be preoccupied with its 
affairs. Chapter three, verse two. We 
are to set our minds on things above where Christ is. He says 
this does not promote an ascetic other worldliness. Ascetics say 
that everything out there is bad. We can't touch, we can't 
taste, we can't handle. Some people in the history of 
the church have thought that the Bible teaches asceticism. Just don't do certain things. 
Just don't go certain places. Just don't involve yourself in 
those things and you'll be all right. Harris says, no, the thought 
of looking heavenward unto Christ does not promote an ascetic otherworldliness. But rather, a wholehearted commitment 
to the daily duties of this world for the sake of the Lord. In 
other words, that man who most seeks the things which are above 
is going to be the best husband and the best father. That woman 
who seeks those things which are above where Christ is, is 
going to be the best wife and the best mother. So, far from 
eliminating these roles, the gospel empowers the proper functioning 
of these roles. So, in chapter 3, verse 18, through 
chapter 4, verse 1, we see the new man's relationship to others, 
specifically in three pairs. Wives and husbands, children 
and parents and servants and masters. And this, again, is 
an example of Pauline symmetry. He deals with the subordinate 
first and then the one who is over them in three pairs. Wives, 
husbands, children, parents and servants and masters. Now, ladies, 
you get to go first. Wives submit to your own husbands, 
as is fitting in the Lord. That is going to be our focus 
this morning. Chapter three, verse 18. We could 
take up all of those family relations, but I want to make sure that 
we get our minds wrapped around these things because we live 
in a day and age where these distinctions are being blurred, 
where these distinctions are being done away with, where men 
are becoming more feminine and women are becoming more masculine. In fact, Charles Hodge, commenting 
on a parallel passage in Ephesians, says this. This relationship 
of the man's authority and headship and the wife's duty to submit. 
He says this relationship cannot be denied or disregarded without 
destroying society. You might think Brother Hodge's 
words are a bit sharp. I don't think so. I think a lot 
of our problems in society start right here. As men go, so goes 
the home, so goes the church, so goes society. As men have 
abdicated, as men have been feminized, as men have sought to be anything 
other than what God would have for them, we have seen decay 
in each of those particular spheres. Hodge says this relationship 
cannot be denied or disregarded without destroying society and 
degrading both men and women, making the one effeminate and 
the other masculine. That's not what we're supposed 
to do. We're supposed to function in 
the manner in which the Lord our God has called us. So, before 
we get to the text itself in verse 18, I want to look at, 
first of all, the doctrine of submission, even among conservative, 
theologically reformed commentators. There's always sort of this uneasiness 
when we approach this command in verse 18, where it says submit. We start to get a little freaked 
out by that word. We think it's a bit authoritarian. 
We think it sounds a bit like tyranny. So I want to look at 
the doctrine of submission, first of all, and then secondly, its 
domestic application here in verse 18. Now, the word submit 
simply means to be in subjection, to subject oneself. Submission 
for Paul is a voluntary submission based on one's own recognition 
of God's divine order. This is the way he made it. We 
are to submit because the Lord is God and he has commanded it 
so. The word also means to line oneself 
under, and is used in a military sense of soldiers submitting 
to their superior or slaves submitting to their masters. The word has 
primarily the idea of giving up one's own right or will. That's 
why women take their husband's last name. It's because they 
are giving up their own right or their own will in principle. Hopefully they're really doing 
it when they take his name. There is a reason for this. It 
shows this union. It shows this submission. Another 
lexicon says submission in the sense of voluntary, voluntary 
yielding in love. And then Webster's 1828 dictionary. He says it's to yield, to resign 
or to surrender to the power, will or authority of another. And then Matthew Henry and his 
commentary says, whatever there is of uneasiness in this, it 
is an effect of sin coming into the world. In other words, the 
idea of submission in and of itself is not bad. It's not demeaning. It's not belittling. Whatever 
uneasiness that we have when we approach this, that is the 
effect of sin, not submission. It's our own heart, our own attitude, 
our own disposition to this particular doctrine. Now, as we look at 
the doctrine of submission throughout the Bible, we see that everybody 
has to submit. Ladies, you might see verse 18 
here. Why submit your own husband? Well, that's not fair. Hopefully, 
we'll verbalize that. But probably in some hearts here, 
you're saying, well, that's not right. That's not fair. Do you 
realize that everybody has to submit? Each and every person 
in this world has to submit. It is a good thing in and of 
itself. The church is to submit to Christ, 
according to Ephesians five. We don't get the right to come 
in here and say, we're going to do whatever we want. Jesus, 
we call the shots. We make the rules. We're not 
going to listen to your word. We're not going to follow your 
direction. We're going to do whatever is right in our own 
eyes. Absolutely not. The fact that so many within 
the church think that, or that churches corporately think that 
is just another testimony to the bankruptcy that is Christianity 
today. We don't call the shots. We submit 
to the one who calls the shots. The Christian is to submit to 
God. James 4, 7. Submit yourselves 
to God. everybody is to submit to the 
governing authorities. Romans thirteen one to four first 
Peter chapter two. This is not unique simply for 
one particular group. All of us find ourselves in a 
place of submitting to an authority. The first letter that Peter wrote 
in chapter one or chapter two of first Peter, chapter two, 
verse thirteen to chapter three, verse twelve. The whole context 
there is submission to God instituted human authority. But what I mean 
by God instituted human authority, there's certain institutions 
that God made for the good of mankind. He made the family. 
The family's good. He made the church. The church 
is good. And he made the state the state 
in of itself, as long as we keep it, it's proper limits is good. 
God has ordained these for our well-being. So, in 1 Peter chapter 
2 to 1 Peter chapter 3, we see our need to submit to the governing 
authorities. We see the need of submission 
between servants to their masters. We see submission in marriage. 
We see submission in all of life. Chapter 3, verses 9 to 12. And 
then we have the great example in our Bibles of Jesus Christ, 
who submitted himself willingly unto the father. We see that 
in John four, verse thirty four. My meat, my food is to do the 
will of him who sent me. John chapter six and verse thirty 
eighty says the same thing. I came not to do my own will, 
but to do the will of him who sent me. What is that? But he 
is willingly submitting himself. He is lying himself under the 
authority of his father. Philippians chapter two in verse 
eight tells us that he became obedient to death, to death of 
the cross. Well, who was the one who commanded 
this was God in the covenant of redemption that the father 
would send the son for him to die so that he could save us 
from our sins. And then in Hebrews chapter five, 
the author says that he learned obedience through suffering. 
So Christ willingly submitted himself to his father. You know 
what else Christ willingly did? He submitted himself to his earthly 
parents. So, we see there that submission 
is necessary even if the one being submitted to isn't perfect. Please get this, ladies. I'm 
going to bring this home in just a few minutes. Well, you don't know my husband. 
He's not like God. I don't want to submit to him. 
He's not perfect. Well, neither were Mary and Joseph, 
but according to Luke 2, when they found Jesus in the temple, 
it says that he continued in subjection to them. What about 
Jesus in the civil magistrate? Was he a revolutionary? Peter, 
there's a fish over there. Take out the money that you find 
in it and go pay our taxes. He wasn't a revolutionary when 
it came to paying taxes. He wasn't a revolutionary when 
it came to capital punishment, because he yielded himself up 
even under death. Christ willingly submitted, even 
when the party being submitted to was imperfect. Turn to First Corinthians chapter 
11 for just a moment, because I think if you get this principle 
down, so much makes perfect sense. First Corinthians chapter eleven. The larger context. Well, actually, 
the larger context is dealing with the roles of men and women 
in the worship of God. Notice in verse three, this is 
the controlling statement for the entire passage. We are not 
to get hung up in this passage on long hair, on doilies or on 
hats. We are to get this principle 
down that the father and the son are equal in terms of their 
essence, but in terms of their function, in terms of their work, 
the son willingly submits himself to his father. Notice in verse 
three, I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ. 
The head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God. What's that saying that Jesus 
had is God? Jesus willingly submits to his 
father. Now, Jesus is the second person 
of the Trinity. In fact, the confederate, the 
catechism says there are three persons in the Godhead, the father, 
the son and the Holy Spirit. And these three are one God, 
the same in substance, equal in power and glory. They are 
the same in substance. They are the same in being. But 
when it comes to the work of redemption, when it comes to 
God, the father, the son and the Holy Spirit saving his people 
from their sins, the son willingly submits himself to his father. 
The son willingly leaves heaven. The son willingly takes on a 
body. The son willingly puts himself 
under the law. The son says to his disciples, 
the father is greater. than I am. In this economy of 
redemption, the son subordinates himself to the father. Now, the 
whole argument in this particular context is simply this. Men and 
women are equal, created equally. It's not as if the stuff that 
went into making man is somehow more expensive and more vital 
and more excellent than the stuff that went into making women. 
That's not the case. As far as men and women are concerned, 
the blood, the arteries, the veins, the skin, the flesh, all 
those things are the same. But within the Church, 1 Corinthians 
11, and within the home, Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3, within that 
context, these two equal beings, in terms of who they are before 
God, have specific roles. They have specific functions, 
and as the son willingly submits himself to the father, so the 
wife willingly submits herself to the husband. It's not bad. It's not demeaning. It's not 
some lower form of existence. It's the way God made things, 
and it's good. We see this throughout the Bible. So go back now to Colossians 
chapter three. Colossians chapter three, we've 
considered the doctrine of submission. Generally, let's hone in now 
on the domestic application. First of all, the party addressed 
wives submit to your own husbands, as is fitting to the Lord. This 
is your particular calling. That's God's word to you today. It was yesterday as well, and 
it will be in the future. Wives submit to your husbands. Again, we see this worked out 
throughout the Scriptures in Genesis one and two at the creation 
account. God made Adam first and then 
he fashioned Eve and he brought the woman to the man. And he 
or the two of them became one flesh. She was to help him. She was to serve him. She was 
to assist him in the grand calling that was his the first Adam. created in the garden, was called 
upon to exercise dominion on the earth. His wife Eve was to 
come alongside of him and help him do that. Interestingly enough, 
the New Testament works that way as well. And I think if we 
understand this properly, we will escape some confusion. Who is the second Adam? It is 
Jesus. Who is supposed to exercise dominion 
over this universe? It is Jesus. The church is the 
Eve that comes alongside and helps him. We don't subjugate 
the nations. Christ does. We help him by living 
godly and righteous and soberly and be about the word of truth. We are his helpers. And in this context, the wife 
is to be a helper. Notice that later it's going 
to say in verse 19 for husbands, love your wives. The particular 
calling here for the wife is to submit to your husband. Does 
that mean you don't have to love him? You can hate him as long 
as you submit to him? No! Titus 2. The older women 
are to instruct the younger women in what? To love their husbands. I actually think that Paul wrote 
to address those areas that we struggle with. See, a woman doesn't 
generally have to be encouraged to love her man, because she 
loves her man. She does, however, have to be 
encouraged often to submit to him. A man, if he is functioning the 
way God made him, he'll naturally lead. He'll naturally assume 
responsibility in the home. He'll naturally embrace the fact 
that the butt stops with him. He needs to be told along the 
way, you gotta love her. You gotta love her. You gotta 
love her. You gotta love her. You don't just exercise this 
tyrannical authority without loving her and kissing her and 
hugging her and showering affection upon her. When Paul addresses 
the husband here, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 
Why do you think he says do not be bitter toward them? Probably 
because men struggle with this very thing. So the repetition 
here, I believe, highlights the fact that you ladies need to 
be told off them. Submit. Because everything in 
you doesn't want to. You're a sinner, even redeemed 
sinners, saved by grace. We still struggle. Maybe you 
don't, but most of us do. There is that desire to not submit. There is that desire to usurp. In the other text, I mentioned 
the creation account, we see a parallel again in Ephesians 
5, 22 to 24, Titus 2, verses 4 and 5, and then again in 1 
Peter 3, verses 1 to 6. So wives are often addressed 
with this particular command. Now, notice some particular characteristics. I didn't know how else to identify 
this, but I know it sounds kind of weird, but the lawful target. 
The lawful target under whom you submit your own house. I think this is God's limitation. 
God's protection of you. She is submitting your husband. 
You're not called to submit to every house. And he's your own. Somebody else is not a good preacher 
on the radio. Sometimes it's easy to gravitate 
toward those who sound a lot smarter, a lot more intelligent, 
or who have their act together. No, ladies, submit to your own 
husbands. God not only defines authority 
structures, but he builds in limitations. He builds in qualification. When a wife submits to her own 
husband, she is in the realm of protection. She is in the 
realm of safety. Notice the universal scope in 
the command. Submit to your own husbands. 
It doesn't qualify it. It doesn't say when he's godly. It doesn't say when he's good. 
It doesn't say when you feel like it. It doesn't say if society 
agrees that you should. The command does not depend upon 
the wife's feelings in the matter. The command does not depend upon 
how fit or unfit the husband is. Again, now, maybe I'm just 
shooting, you know, at the sky here. But sometimes, brethren, 
I think we gauge our obedience to God on everybody else. For men, it fleshes itself out 
this way. It's hard to love her because 
she's so unlovely. For ladies, it fleshes itself 
out this way. It's hard to submit to him because 
he's such a whatever. I don't want to offend anybody's 
delicate sensitivities. He's a fool. There's a classic 
example of a fool and a godly woman in 1st Samuel 25. In fact, 
his name translates full naval and Abigail. Right. The command is not contingent 
upon how you feel or if your husband's a great guy. The command 
does not even depend upon the husband's being a Christian. Oh, I would willingly submit 
and give myself to my husband if he believed the gospel. No. First Peter, chapter three, verses 
one and two, you submit to your own husband. And even if they're 
not a believer by your chaste and godly conduct, you may win 
that. You see, God doesn't play games. 
That's why you young people were going to make some application 
in a few minutes. You really better think about this. See, 
when you enter into a marriage covenant, when you say I do, 
you are accepting all of the responsibilities involved in 
that covenant. So you delicate, dear young women 
who want to get married someday, you make sure that you're working 
on this attitude of submission now in the home. And you young 
man, when you're looking for a wife, make sure you're spotting 
out this particular quality. The command is not open for debate. It's not as if you get married 
and then you sit down at the table and you arm wrestle and 
whoever wins gets to be the one in charge and the other has to 
submit. That's not the way God rolls. It's not the way the Bible 
operates. When we compare the parallel 
passage in Ephesians, we see that this submission is to be 
in everything in all things. Now, there is, of course, the 
qualification, if your husband commands you to sin, he is usurping 
his authority and you must at that point obey God rather than 
men. God always comes first. God's 
kingdom and his righteousness is always at the top of your 
priority structure. So, if your husband is commanding 
you to sin or to do evil or to break God's law, you must obey 
God rather than men. So, there is a qualification 
to be sure. And then, with reference to the 
Ephesian context, the summary statement says this, and let 
the wife see that she respects her husband. I think that's the 
flashing out of submission. Again, I believe that Paul addresses 
those things that are particular. A wife has the need for love 
and protection. She has the need for nurture 
and for cherishing. That's why Paul tells husbands 
to love, to protect, to lead, to nourish, to cherish. Men bearing 
the image of God have a need hardwired in by the creator to 
be respected. You can try and deny that, you 
can say I'm a proud, arrogant wretch, but Paul says wives fear 
them. Literally, the word is phobetai, 
where we get our word phobia, which means fear. Only in this 
instance, you don't treat your husband like a tarantula and 
hide from him. It's not that sort of fear. It is reverence. It is respect. It's one of the signs of a submissive 
and godly wife. When a woman publicly disrespects 
her husband, Generally speaking, brethren, everybody standing 
there questions whether there is submission going on in the 
home. Now, maybe not everybody, maybe 
just pastors have that sort of an inclination. And if I can go one more, when 
a woman publicly disrespects her husband, I look at that as 
the tip of the iceberg. What's that poor slob getting 
at home? How does she treat him? privately. If she's not afraid to lambast 
him and disrespect him in front of the church's elders, in front 
of perhaps his friends, in front of the children. If she is not 
against disrespecting in that context, is submission operative 
in her heart? And then notice the proper motivation 
here. Why submit your own husbands 
as is fitting in the Lord? Some have seen this phrase as 
is 15, perhaps a Pauline take on Stoic philosophy. The Stoics 
were a group of men that said that you just do things because 
it's right. Not just the stoics, there's 
a lot of philosophies that operate that way. Now the big question 
comes, who defines what's right? Where we as Christian apologists 
can really attack them, not physically and hurt them, but we can challenge 
their assumptions about various things. But do it because it's 
right. The duty is there, the duty is 
right, you should do this. Paul takes that as is fitting, 
and in his hand, he turns it into a Christological motivation. A Christ-centered motivation. Remember our larger context. 
Put your mind where Jesus is. Put off wickedness. Put on righteousness. Let the peace of Christ rule 
in your heart. Let the word of Christ rule in 
your heart. Do everything you do in the name 
of Christ. Remember, the new man is Christ-centered 
in all that he does and thinks and says. Ladies, you are new 
men. You are new men in Christ. Just on a sideline note, there 
is a press today to translate the Bible in what's called a 
gender neutral manner. We don't like those male masculine 
pronouns. We rather all just hug each other 
and sing Kumbaya. Well, what we are doing really 
is reducing both men and women. When the Bible calls us sons 
of God instead of children of God, there are times in John's 
writings we see him apply techno, which is little children, to 
God. But there's other instances where the Bible calls men and 
women sons of God. Sons, whether you like it or 
not, in that particular era received the full rights and privileges 
of the household. And so for a woman to be called 
a son of God brings her up. For all of us to be called children 
of God in a context where it's not that way brings us down. The grand design of God is to 
make men and women, new men in Christ Jesus, who are co-heirs 
together of all the redemptive privilege and benefit that Jesus 
has secured on our behalf. The fitness of this command is 
seen in that it is in the Lord. So, wives, you are not to submit 
to your own husbands because of the good of the state. You 
are not to submit to your own husbands for the good of society. You're not even to submit to 
your own husbands for the good of your husband. You're not supposed 
to submit to your husband for the good of your children. You're 
not even supposed to submit to your own husband for your self-realization. You want to find yourself. I 
think I'll do what God called me to do. You do it as to the 
Lord. That dignifies, that elevates, 
that puts the command in the religious sphere where it ought 
to be. And I dare say, ladies, when 
you submit, as is fitting to the Lord, society benefits. The state benefits. Your husband 
certainly benefits. Your children will benefit. And 
you will find something of that self-realization that everybody 
wants. But it is first and foremost, 
along the lines of that principle, our Savior laid down in the Sermon 
on the Mount. Seek first the kingdom of God 
and his righteousness. Then all these other things will 
be added to you. When Jesus is your priority, when Jesus is 
at the top of your list, when you submit to your own husband 
as is fitting in the Lord, all these other things will be added 
to you. You'll have happy kids. You'll 
have a happy husband. You'll be a good witness. You'll 
be a good testimony to society, all those things. But you need 
to be single minded with reference to who you are pleasing in this 
avenue. Wives, your submission to your 
husband is primarily a religious duty. Paul takes that language 
of as is fitting, and he doesn't say because everybody benefits. He says, as is fitting in the 
Lord. Well, let us make some application now. I trust you're 
all with me in terms of exposition. The duty is very clear. The command 
is very obvious. submit to your own husbands as 
is fitting in the Lord. The first area of application 
I'd like to consider is the gospel and the mundane. All you guys 
are sitting there going great. It's going to hammer my life 
right now. Just wait. The gospel and the mundane. What is mundane mean? It is characterized 
by the practical transitory and ordinary. All of us should like this. Just 
note the movement thus far in this letter to the Colossians 
in chapter one versus fifteen to twenty. Paul, the apostle, 
says that Jesus Christ created all things. Jesus Christ sustains 
all things. In Colossians chapter one at 
verses twenty one and twenty two, and then in Colossians two, 
eleven to fourteen, we see that Jesus Christ has powerfully redeemed 
his elect through his blood shedding at Calvary. These are amazingly 
huge concepts, aren't they? They're massive. I mean, to just rehearse those 
things may seem to be a small thing, but we spent time. We 
looked at the text. We exegeted. We did some exposition 
in those passages. We see what Paul does with Jesus. He is everything. He is glorious. 
He is supreme. He made all things. He governs 
all things. He redeems his elect. Chapter 
three, verses one to four, show us his current session. Where 
is Jesus right now? He is sitting at the right hand 
of God most high. The Apostle Peter connects that 
to David's throne, all of the promises that God made to David 
about one that would come from his life, that would sit upon 
his throne of whose reign there would be no and comes to fruition 
in the Lord of Glory. So, from all of that universal 
power, all of that sovereignty, all of that lordship and dominion, 
Christ comes and addresses you ladies and says, submit to your 
own husbands as is fitting in the Lord. The gospel has effect 
on everything. Sometimes we get this idea that 
unless I'm Amy Carmichael, unless I'm Charles Spurgeon, unless 
I'm whoever, I'm not really making an impact. Ladies, when you're 
submitting to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord, this 
is an act of religious worship. It is an act of religious service. 
It is what you were destined to. It is what you were prepared 
for. It is what God saved you unto. Do not minimize that. That is falling into disrepute 
in our day. I'm sure some of you brothers, 
I know what it's like to be in the workforce and to have somebody 
say, what is your wife do? Oh, she stays at home with the 
children and they raise an eyebrow and say, oh, that's all she does. One of the highest privileges 
in the universe, oh, that's all she does. That's it, she doesn't 
work. Take care of a couple of kids 
someday and tell me. You don't work. What do most 
of us men do for the two hours we watch the kids? We're watching 
the clock. When is she ever going to be 
back? Is she ever going to get off? What happened? How come 
you took so long? We want to be relieved of duty right away. 
We don't like this. We're not made for it. Wiping 
up all those messes and all that nose and all, it's just not what 
we were fashioned for. Right. We live in a generation that 
is anti-God, anti-family. You know what? That generation 
is similar to the generation that Paul lived in too. This new gospel doesn't come 
and obliterate social relationships. This gospel comes and energizes 
social relationships. This gospel comes and renews 
them and revives them and puts them on the pedestal where God 
the Lord has placed them. Who today would actually think 
that a godly woman submitting to her husband as is fitting 
in the Lord is rendering service to God? We have all of these 
prophets telling us what we need to do and what we need to become 
so that we can serve Jesus. Just do what you're supposed 
to do in the mundane. Let the gospel energize your 
social relationships, let the blood of Christ wash you and 
cleanse you and purify you and fit you for submission to your 
own husband, as is fitting to the Lord. This price centered 
motivation brings purpose to the mundane joy to the believer 
and glory to God most high. Do not doubt that. Do not disregard 
that. Do not think that you are not 
a contributor in the kingdom of Christ. There have been occasions 
where some family will want to enroll their children into a 
Christian school in the area. And the Christian school will 
send me a paper to fill out what services, what ministries do 
they fulfill in the life of your church? Well, we don't have, 
as you've noticed, this sort of barrage of ministries. You 
know, we don't have the young marrieds and the singles and 
the college and the whoever's. We don't have that. So oftentimes 
I'll say they're a great encouragement in the life of the church. Or 
better yet, they encourage their pastor. And I get the feeling that that's 
sort of not enough. You can't just be a Barnabas 
anymore. You've got to make your life count for eternity as if 
encouraging your poor, wretched pastor doesn't. We're trying to out holy God. 
We're trying to outperform God. Wives, submit to your own husbands. 
That's a lifelong job, knowing your husbands. Right? You need grace, you need 
help, you need mercy, you need God, you need the prayers of 
your elders. Right? Now, wives, Proverbs 31 
12, I think, is a great summary statement for the godly woman. 
Now, the context of Proverbs 31, you're all familiar with. 
She's superwoman. I mean, she could turn a profit 
with everything. She closed her kids and everything. 
Nothing of that. I mean, this woman is one of 
these women that would hold. Well, she probably wouldn't, 
because she's godly. Not to say every woman that holds a conference 
isn't godly. I'm going to watch myself here. 
But if it were the case that she would be a conference woman, 
she could do it. You know, some of you women may 
not be able to turn a profit in everything you touch. Some 
of you women might not have a cape and an ass on your chest. There 
is one overarching principle in Proverbs thirty one that you 
need to get. She does him good and not evil all the days of 
her life. Doesn't that summarize every 
characteristic listed there? Does that not summarize why submits 
your own husband as is fitting in the Lord? She does him good 
and not evil all the days of her life. That is her orientation. That is her goal. That is her 
disposition. That is her God given duty. That 
is her God given privilege. She doesn't argue about it. She 
doesn't debate about it. She just does him good. Now, I ask you, is there anything 
more attractive than this? Is there anything more attractive 
than a biblical home? Many of us were brought up in 
contexts where Christianity was a stranger, where there was no 
Bible, where there was no family altar. And when God saved us, 
he brought us into contact with people who actually tried to 
live out the scriptures. And when we came out of darkness 
into marvelous light and then we begin to see husbands and 
wives functioning the way they're supposed to, that is attractive. It is powerful. It is beautiful. 
It is glorious. Would the apostle Paul, ladies, 
be able to spend time with you and your husband and conclude 
that you are a submissive wife? Would he be able to conclude 
that in the manner in which you speak to him, in the manner in 
which you speak about him? Could Paul come on a Tuesday 
night when the ladies are having tea and conclude that all the 
ladies of Free Grace Baptist, by and large, love their husbands 
and submit to them? Now, I don't believe or suspect 
that these meetings are times to rail on your husbands. I don't 
believe that at all. It may not be the official tea 
time. It may be just fellowship with a sister. Well, if your 
fellowship consists of tearing down your husband, Paul would 
tell you to repent. That's not fellowship. Oh, pray 
for me. My husband, he's such a this. 
I don't say that about him. Don't say that in the presence 
of someone else, deal with him. Call me or Pastor Kim, say my 
husband, have you talked to him? Isn't that what the Bible says, 
if your brother sins against you, go to him. Well, sometimes 
a husband will sin against the wife. Go to him. Don't talk about 
him, don't email, don't Facebook or Twitter. What a twit you're 
married to. Don't do that. And I said, would 
the apostle Paul be able to spend time with you and your husband 
and conclude that you are a submissive wife? Paul's not going to fall 
out of heaven and spend time in your home. Jesus is with you 
constantly. Jesus is with you 24-7. Would 
Jesus be able to answer the question that you do submit to your own 
husband as is fitting to him? In the way that you talk in the 
way that you conduct yourself. Is it the case that you do him 
good and not evil all the days of her life? I got this idea 
that God saves us and that he brings us together so that we 
can actually enjoy life. It shouldn't be a chore every 
step of the way. Now there's suffering and there's 
travail and there's tribulation and there's trial, all that to 
be sure, hopefully outside of our homes. And that our homes 
function as a haven and a rest place so that we're fortified 
and strengthened and ready to go out and face the battles in 
this world. The home shouldn't be the battle. 
The home shouldn't be the place where we're like this. It shouldn't 
be the case that everybody at work is against me and they're 
trying to do bad things to me. And then I come home and my wife's 
the same way. Could Jesus say you respect your 
husband? Again, this is offensive, man. When a woman speaks about the 
guy who provides for her, who loves her, who cares for her, 
who tends to her, who tries the best he can, and she tears him 
down. It's like, don't do that. That's 
not good. If I feel uncomfortable around 
that, what's the poor guy feeling? You know, sometimes men try to 
develop laser eyes. So if their wife starts to run 
her mouth, they can try to look at her to get her to stop. Don't 
do that. Don't go there. It shouldn't 
be that way, ladies, you're saved, you're new men in Christ, you 
have a husband who God has given you, submit to him. Do you belittle or ridicule or 
put your husband down? The submission that you are commanded 
to give to your husband is ultimately an act of service and worship 
to Christ. You belittle your man, you're 
not honoring Jesus. There is a direct correlation 
between the two. You know, when we look at husbands 
next week and we compare a passage in first Peter three. Peter tells 
men that they love their wives. There to honor them as the weaker 
vessel. And then he gives a very specific 
purpose, he says, so that your prayers may not be hindered. I don't care how many books you 
read, I don't care how much catechism you know, I don't know how I 
don't care how much Bible you study. If you are not loving 
your wife and you are not treating her with the respect that Jesus 
has commanded you to do so, your prayers are hindered. They're 
not going heavenward. See, we men, oftentimes we have 
a bad prayer life. I've got to get a book on prayer. 
I've got to read A.W. Pink on prayer. I've got to read 
D.A. Carson on prayer. I've got to 
go to a prayer conference. I've got to go to this. Everything 
but pray, first of all, or go to the church prayer meeting. 
But secondly, how are my relationships? Because, you see, if I'm being 
a wretch to my wife, God's told me my prayers will be hindered. 
The same thing with you ladies. Those are there. Bless me, Lord. 
Bless me, Lord. I don't know why I'm not having victory in 
my life. Well, maybe because you're mean to your husband. Husbands, we will look at God's 
or Paul's specific word, God's specific word to you for next 
week, but now for just for the moment, consider this. Your wife 
needs to submit to you. You can either make that difficult 
or you can make that a little easier. That's another zany thing 
I have in mind. I think we should all try to 
help each other. Right. You know, when Paul says 
to the fathers, do not provoke your children because you're 
going to discourage them. Children, don't provoke your parents because 
you'll discourage them. Just because he gives one command 
to some group doesn't mean everybody else is free to do whatever they 
want. If your wife is called to submit 
to you, be like Christ. Be like Jesus. You see, it's 
a beautiful operation. Husbands love. Wives submit. The more I love, the more she 
submits. The more she submits, the more I love. So I'm also 
convinced that in a biblically run household, you don't walk 
in and the man says, look, I'm the husband here and what I say 
goes, I'm the I'm the guy. You don't have the wife affirming 
to you all the time that she submits to her husband. I really 
do. I really do. I love him. I love they just 
do it. They don't have posters from 
the wall, they don't post things on the Internet about how accomplished 
they are, they just do it. Single men and single women. Single ladies, first of all, 
considering marriage, make sure the man you choose, you can yield 
yourself to. I know we got two couples. I'm not even look their 
direction, but there's other single women in here. They may 
be young. They may be older. They're going to want to get 
married. The man that you set your focus on, you had better 
be able to submit to. It doesn't work to say, I do 
and say, oh, I should now. No, think through these things, 
please. Don't just rush into I got to 
get married. I'm all for it. You gotta get 
married. Paul has spoken. 1 Corinthians 7. What's a great 
antidote to not burning sexually? Get married. But make sure, ladies, 
the man you're going to marry, you can submit to. That he's not a jellyfish. That 
he has a spine. That he is equipped as a man 
to lead and love and do those things. And men. You need to remember this very 
important truth from Proverbs 31. Charm is deceitful and beauty 
is passing. I don't care how beautiful she 
is right now. The second law of thermodynamics 
is a reality. You might know it as entropy. 
We might even call it simple gravity. The skin starts to sag. The body starts to not function 
like it once did. Very often, young men are driven 
by the eye. Be driven by the biblically informed 
mind. Charm is deceitful and beauty 
is passing. But a woman who fears Jehovah, 
she shall be praised. You watch her interaction with 
her father. You watch her interaction with 
her mother. You watch her interaction with her siblings. If she is 
an independent, can't be told what to do ever. Do you think 
she's going to magically change when you come along? Jonathan 
Edwards, that great pastor, theologian, godly man, knew the scriptures, 
had several children. One man was interested in his 
daughter and he warned the man. Not in a bad way. He said she's 
a live wire. Now, I doubt he said it like 
that. Allow me to paraphrase. She's a bit of a live wire. And 
this young suitor to be said, yeah, but she has grace in her 
heart. Edwards response. Grace can live where you cannot. Be careful. Be careful. When you say I do, it is forever. It is forever. God, the Lord 
hates divorce. Do you think I might be able 
to? Stop, wait, think, pray. Single men, single women, we 
have the opportunity to actually apply the Bible in the life of 
our church, and that is exciting. And then finally, ladies, aren't 
you glad that your status with God does not depend upon your 
ability to submit to your husbands? Let's remember the gospel. Listening 
to a sermon this past week and the man who was preaching said 
that that garment of righteousness in which I'm clothed, that garment 
of justification in which I will stand before the Lord God Almighty, 
does not have one thread of my own work. Praise God for Jesus, who always 
submitted to his father, who always did it with joy, who always 
did it with a whole heart and a whole soul, who submitted to 
earthly authorities, who submitted to an ungodly king, who submitted 
to an ungodly mob. Praise the Lord for this Jesus, 
who in his active obedience fulfilled the law of God and in his dying 
served as that sacrifice that would wash us and cleanse us 
from all our sins. Ladies, you're not going to go 
to heaven because your robe of righteousness has many threads 
of your submissive heart. You will stand in his presence, 
clothed alone in that righteousness of another, even Jesus Christ, 
the Lord. Let us never forget that. So 
we work our way through these household relations as we work 
our way through how we're supposed to function in this world. Do 
not for a moment believe that your salvation depends upon your 
performance. Our salvation from first to last 
depends upon the performance of another. As God has looked 
upon the history of this world, there's 33 years that he's pleased 
with. There's 33 years that are good in his sight, and that is 
the active obedience of our Lord Jesus, the passive obedience 
when he gave himself on our behalf. God has provided for us. That is the basis upon which 
you ladies go and submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in 
the Lord. And if you are here this morning 
and don't know this Christ, Believe on the gospel. Believe on the 
Lord Jesus. First Corinthians 15, three and 
four ought to be a passage, one to four ought to be a passage 
that you look at frequently. It's a great compendium, a great 
summary, a great declaration of those truths most surely believed 
among us. First Corinthians 15, verse one. Moreover, brethren, I declare 
to you the gospel. which I preach to you, which 
also you received and in which you stand, by which also you 
are saved. If you hold fast that word which 
I preach to you, unless you believed in vain, you see that it's belief. It's belief in the gospel. For I delivered to you, verse 
three. First of all, that which I also 
received that Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures, 
and that he was buried and that he rose again the third day, 
according to the Scriptures. Do you see what we're saved in 
believing the gospel, not performing good works? We're saved on two 
good words. We are saved by grace through 
faith in Christ, so that will go out and be wise who submit 
to their own husband, so that will be husbands that love their 
wives, so that you'll be children that honor and obey your parents. 
So that will be fathers that don't exasperate and don't discourage 
children. The gospel comes first. We lose 
sight of that. We have missed Paul's intention. We are saved. We look to Christ. 
We live this way. If you are not saved, look to 
Christ. If you are not saved, don't say, 
I'm going to be a better wife to you. I'm going to be a better 
husband to you. I'm going to be a better son to you. No, look 
and live. Look and live. That's of primary 
importance. Let us pray. Father, we thank 
you for the word of God. And we thank you for this portrait 
of a of a new man in Jesus Christ. And we pray that you would bless 
us and help us to understand these truths. And I pray for 
my dear sisters here. I just ask that you would grant 
great grace and great help in this area of being submissive 
to their own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. And God, 
I pray for the husbands. I pray for all of us that we 
would take seriously These commands, these these imperatives, and 
that you would help us to receive them joyfully and to pray and 
to seek your grace and to seek your strength so that we may 
indeed conduct ourselves consistent with your word. Go with us now, 
we pray in Jesus most holy name. Amen.