you can turn in your Bibles to 1 Timothy chapter 3 as we continue to survey the qualifications for elders. Remember that in chapter 2, Paul gives a specific prohibition against women teaching or exercising authority in the churches of our Lord Jesus Christ. And when we come to 1 Timothy chapter 3, verses 1 to 7, we see that the specific emphasis isn't simply on maleness or being a man, but a qualified man. And that's the emphasis here in verses 1 to 7 relative to the eldership, and then in verses 8 to 13 with reference to the diaconate.

So I'll read the chapter and then we'll focus on specifically verses 2 and 3 this evening. This is a faithful saying, if a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous. One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence.

For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? Not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride, he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover, he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. Likewise, deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience.

But let these also first be tested, then let them serve as deacons being found blameless, Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children in their own house as well. For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus. These things I write to you, though I hope to come to you shortly.

But if I am delayed, I write so that you may know how you ought to conduct yourself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. And without controversy, great is the mystery of godliness. God was manifested in the flesh, justified in the spirit, seen by angels, preached among the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up in glory. Amen.

Well, let us pray. Our Father in heaven, we thank you again for your written word. It's God-breathed, and we thank you. It's profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness.

Guide us by your spirit in this word with reference to our church life. Help us to take these things seriously. Help us to receive them as the very command of God Most High. And we pray that you would provide what we stand in need of in terms of officers.

Help us as well to glorify you in the context of our local church. endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. Forgive us again for all of our sins and unrighteousness, and fill us each with your Holy Spirit to illumine our minds and our hearts. And we pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

Introduction

Well, as I said, the qualifications given here for elders in chapter 3, verses 1 to 7. So it's not just any man, but it's qualified man. And it's not perfect man. When we read through this, we're not to expect that anybody hits everything absolutely perfectly.

No, but there ought to be a demonstrated faithfulness relative to each of these particulars. So the last time we considered verse one specifically, notice Paul says, if a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. So we tried to explain what that meant in terms of desire. There is that internal aspiration for it.

Grace is indicating genuine Christian experience. Gifts indicating divine provision. In other words, he has to have the ability to teach. He has to be able to preach both publicly and privately.

And then as well, providence. God in providence sets men in particular places and opens doors for those men. And it comes via the church. There's a suffrage involved with reference to the church in terms of identifying men, ensuring that those men are qualified, and then appointing those men to function in the context of eldership.

And so we've got the desire for eldership in verse 1. Verses 2 and 3 deals with the man's personal holiness, and we'll take that up tonight. The third section is the man's domestic faithfulness in verses 4 and 5. Next is the man's experience in the faith in verse 6, and the man's testimony toward outsiders in verse 7.

We'll circle back and take up the man's ability to teach at the very end. So tonight, as we look at verses 2 and 3, we will not give attention to able to teach. That's not because I'm neglecting it, but I want to put it in a different category. All the other things are virtues, all the other things are graces, all the other things are expressed by the man in terms of his conduct.

The one gift specifically necessary for eldership is an aptness or an ability to teach. And so I think that demands a bit of attention beyond just sort of fitting it into this long list that I'm going to give you now. So

The Man's Personal Holiness

look at, first of all, the man's personal holiness. I want us to see that there is a divine necessity. Notice in verse two, a bishop then must be. This isn't up for grabs.

This isn't suggested. This isn't the best possible scenario. This isn't men on their way to being these things, but a bishop must be. This is non-negotiable.

You don't vote a man into the eldership unless he possesses these virtues and these gifts. You don't put a man in simply because there's a vacancy or simply because there's a need. We have to obey God with reference to the qualifications for elders and we don't have the prerogative to soften the blow. We don't have the prerogative to make it easier.

We don't lower the bar, but rather we insist that the man must be the various things that are indicated here specifically relative to his own holiness, relative to his family life, relative to his conduct toward outsiders, and relative toward the time that he's been a Christian. It must be the case that an elder looks like this. Again, not perfectly. Again, with imperfection.

Again, with remaining corruption. Again, with all of the foibles and all of the potential mistakes and all of the potential actual sins that he may commit. Nevertheless, he must be these things. And then I think that the word blameless there that follows a bishop then must be blameless.

I would suggest this is an overarching or sort of a general statement. And then there's specific emphases that follow, which we'll look at in a moment. But in terms of this overarching general statement, the bishop then must be blameless. George Knight describes the word this way, irreproachable. in the sense of not open to attack or criticism, in terms of his Christian life in general and in terms of the characteristics that follow in particular.

By God's grace, the pattern of the bishop's life conforms to both the general and specific characteristics, and he is not objectively chargeable. Again, it's not that he's without sin, it's just that he's without reproach or without blame relative to those sins. All of us have garden variety, ordinary, normal, remaining corruption sins. But the things that are indicated in terms of specific emphases, if there's a breach there, it would indicate that there is some problems in the entire framework of that particular man, and he is open for blameworthiness.

He is open to be reproached. As Calvin says, he says, there will be no one found among men that is free from every vice. But it is one thing to be blemished with ordinary vices, which do not hurt the reputation, because they are found in men of the highest excellence, and another thing to have a disgraceful name or to be stained with any baseness. Now get what Calvin is saying and get what I'm trying to say when I mention normal garden variety ordinary seeds.

None of us are perfect. I mean, we'd like that, you're born again and you never sin again, but that's not the case. The good that we wish to do, we don't do, and the evil that we don't want to do, we find ourselves doing. Romans 7, Galatians 5, 17, the flesh lusts against the Spirit, the Spirit against the flesh, and these are contrary to one another so that you don't do the things that you want.

There is this internal battle going on with the believer. So again, it's not blamelessness in terms of perfection, but it's blamelessness in terms of not being reproached or blameworthy for a pattern or for a grave particular sin. I think Calvin is right. It's another thing to have a disgraceful name or to be stained with any basement. 1 Timothy 4, 1 Peter chapter 5 says that the elders are to set forth an example.

Again, if that example is riddled with sexual infidelity, if that example is riddled with drunkenness, if that example is riddled with things that are a reproach, then that's not a good example to follow. Now then, notice the specific emphases. And by my count, and I could be wrong, I have 11 things here. And I know that when you hear 11 things, you think, oh no.

Some of them will give more attention to than others. I mean, oftentimes you just need to read the word and that's as good a preaching as you're gonna get. But note first

Sexual Fidelity Required

the necessity of sexual fidelity. The necessity of sexual fidelity. Verse two says, a bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife. He's going to deal specifically with domestic relations in verses 4 and 5.

In other words, how does this man relate to his wife and how does this man relate to his children? Does he take care? Does he govern? Does he rule?

Are his children in subjection? Is his wife a faithful woman? Does she love him? Does she serve him?

All those things. But here specifically in terms of the man's conduct, something that comes right at the head is sexual fidelity. Now there are several interpretations of this phrase, the husband of one wife. The first interpretation is that the elder must be married.

In other words, you can't have a single man function as an elder in the context of the church. I do not believe that that's what Paul means because Paul's example was one of sexual continence. Paul's example was one of giftedness to be a single man. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, if a man doesn't have a wife, he can devote more attention to the ministry and to the service of Christ.

I don't believe that, however though, he is advocating for absolutely necessary that an elder be married. Now having said that, doctrinally and exegetically, practically it helps. Practically it's a great boon. Practically it's a great benefit.

You know, when Paul tells Timothy later, treat the younger women as sisters, and then he says, with all purity, it's probably a reason why Paul says that, with all purity. If Pastor Timothy wasn't married and Pastor Timothy was the young, handsome bachelor, he might solicit or he might receive some unsolicited attention. Treat the younger women as sisters with all purity. What's one of the primary means for the prevention of sexual uncleanness?

It's to have a wife. So again, I wouldn't say that a single man could never be an elder. I would always say that it's helpful for a man to be a married man. And most of the people that you're dealing with are in married situations and have children and those sorts of things.

Again, that's just practical. I would never say, no, you're a godly, single, faithful brother who meets all the marks, but you can't be an elder because you're not married. No, I wouldn't say that. The second option is that the elder must only have ever had one wife his entire life.

I don't think that's what Paul means either. Paul speaks favorably of remarriage after death in Romans 7. It's illustrative with reference to the believer in the law, but nevertheless, for it to be a good illustration, it has to be true as it is. 1 Corinthians 7, 39, remarriage after the death of a spouse is permissible. That's perfectly okay.

The third interpretation is the elder must not be a polygamist. The elder must not have a multitude of wives. Now brethren, this is a reality in countries not our own. There's places where men are polygamists.

And this interpretation says if they are polygamists, then they cannot be elders in the life of the church. I take the fourth position. The elder must be faithful in marriage and sexual matters. The elder must be faithful in marriage and sexual matters.

He's faithful and true to one woman. Note the text, the husband of one wife. It's literally a one woman man. Look at 1st Timothy chapter 5 at verse 9, talking about widows who are put on the list.

That means that they get provision from the church to meet their temporal needs. Do not let a woman under 60 years old be taken into the number and not unless she has been the wife of one man. Literally, she's been a one man woman. Sexual fidelity, marital fidelity, that's what's in view in this particular passage.

And I would suggest practically, if a man is not faithful to his wife, how in the world is he going to be faithful to his church? How in the world is he going to be faithful in anything? In other words, if there's a breach in that armor or a chink in that armor, I would suggest that's probably the tip of the iceberg. And with reference to this particular reading, the elder must be faithful in marriage and sexual matters.

This option excludes polygamy. Again, if you're in a country where dudes have plurality of wives, yeah, they can't be an elder. So what do you counsel them? Go out and divorce three out of the four?

I'm not so sure of that. You can email me your objections to that later, but this does exclude polygamy, concubinage, homosexuality, or other sexually promiscuous indulgence like pornography. In other words, chastity, faithfulness, Sexual fidelity, that's what Paul is holding out with reference to a man that is to be considered in the context of church eldership. And we're not, again, to relax that.

We're not to lower the bar. We're not to say, well, you know, you had, you know, five adulterous affairs, but you're an altogether good guy. You're good with the checkbook. So, you know, welcome to the eldership.

The absence of sexual fidelity oftentimes means the absence of fidelity and other things. Not always, maybe that's the one chink in the armor, but if history and experience shows anything, it's typically symptomatic of a lot of chinks in the armor. I would suggest as well the importance of sexual fidelity in a good marriage. 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul pulls no punches in verses 3 to 5 in terms of a husband's responsibility toward his wife and a wife's responsibility toward her husband. Do not rob one another.

Do not deprive one another except for a time of fasting and prayer. When that's done, come together. The Bible is not anti-sex. The Bible is not anti-sexuality.

The Bible is against sexual infidelity, sexual immorality. But God made sexual relations for the binding together of two parties as one, physically, emotionally, spiritually, all of that. And as well, God has given it for our good and for our benefit. I would suggest the practice of sexual fidelity within the confines of a Christian marriage. is absolutely crucial.

So I was thinking about this. I heard in the background Pastor Albert N. Martin, as he illustrates this text, the husband of one wife, he goes to Ezekiel 24 and verse 16. You say, what does that have to do with 1 Timothy 3 verse 2?

Well, God tells Ezekiel, son of man, I'm going to take the desire of your eyes. It's not about his wife. Ezekiel's wife is going to die. Why is God doing that?

Well, it was her time to go, obviously, but it was a lesson for old covenant Israel. God says, I'm going to profane your temple. That which you boasted of arrogantly, I'm going to dash it down via Babylonians. And you're not to mourn, you're not to cry, you're not to do anything out of the ordinary.

That's what Ezekiel was told. But Pastor Martin says, when God tells Ezekiel, I'm going to take the desire of your eyes, Ezekiel doesn't say, which one, Lord? Which one of the desires of my eyes is it? There was one desire of his eyes.

Listen to John Gill on Ezekiel 24, 16, meaning his wife, who very probably was of a beautiful countenance and goodly to look to, however, of an amiable disposition and in her conjugal relation very agreeable to the prophet, and no doubt a truly religious woman and upon all accounts desirable to him. Now, just let me step aside from the qualifications for the eldership for just a moment and just say this, okay? Based on 1 Timothy 3, 2, that a husband or man is to be a one-woman man, and 1 Timothy 5, 9, a woman is to be a one-man woman. If we're that particular man or woman, let's try to be what the Bible tells us to be.

Do you get my drift here? If we have a one-woman relationship, you as that woman should seek, by the grace of God, to be everything Scripture tells you to be for His good. And if our women have us dudes as their one man, then we should strive to be everything we can be in terms of God's call upon us. I've never quite understood why people get married and make it so difficult and make it so hard and make it almost miserable.

Is there some benefit? Is there a prize at the end? You really messed up your man or you really messed up. No, there's no prize.

As believers, we're trying to help each other get to heaven. Again, let me just revisit Gil's words. I'm gonna hide behind the big brother here. He was a big dude.

Meaning his wife, who very probably was of a beautiful countenance, she was good to look at, however of an amiable disposition, and in her conjugal relation very agreeable to the prophet. I don't want to define that because there are children present. I'm going to assume that you understand what he means by conjugal relation, and I'm going to exhort all of us to think through the implications of that. If in our marriages were to be one woman men and one man woman, then we ought to seek by the grace of God to be the best we can be for the other.

And I would suggest practically whether eldership, whether mechanic, whether painter, whether rocket scientist, whether brain surgeon, a home that is a haven, a home with the kind of woman that Ezekiel had, is a blessed home to fortify and strengthen the man so that he can go out and fix brains, so that he can go out and soar rockets, so that he can go out and preach the gospel. In other words, the home ought to be the place where all of us as married people get refreshed and we get recharged and we get blessed and we get benefited. Sexual infidelity is abhorrent, but let us not contribute to it by being the sorts of men and women that are not doing what God calls us to do. Again, read 1 Corinthians 7, 3 to 5 at your leisure.

Paul says it's robbery. It is to defraud your partner if you are not engaging in the conjugal relations with them. Let us not destroy one another. Let us help each other in this most blessed gift that God has given us.

It's a beautiful thing. If you are the one woman for one man, be what the scripture says you ought to be. Honor your husband. Submit to your husband.

I don't know why that's so difficult. Well, you're not a woman. You don't get it. I have to submit to the governing authorities.

You submit to the Lord Jesus Christ. I've got to submit to my wife according to 1 Corinthians 7, 3 to 5 relative to conjugal relations. We all have to submit at some point. We all have to do what God calls us to do.

We all have to imitate the Savior according to his human nature that subjected himself to earthly parents that were sinners, who subjected himself to Pontius Pilate, who subjected himself to that kangaroo court held by the Sanhedrin. who subjected himself to all of that shame for us men and for our salvation. Honor your man and submit to your man. That's what helps to make a home a good place to be. And brothers, lovingly lead your wives.

That's the emphasis in Ephesians 5. Love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Self-sacrifice. Faithful leadership.

Restrain yourself from the roving eye. Restrain yourself from the sexual infidelity. Restrain yourself from the godlessness that has infected this present evil generation. Brethren, if we are that man or that woman to that man or that woman, let us strive by the grace of God to be what God has called us to be and to honor Him.

What ultimately does our marriage picture and represent and symbolize? Christ and His church. Sisters, if you're not submitting and you're not honoring your husband, you're giving a false report to the world in terms of the church's responsibility to her blessed head. Brothers, if we're not leading and loving, if we're neglecting, if we're unfaithful, if we're engaged in that kind of godlessness, what sort of a message are we sending about Christ toward His bride?

You see, there's more at stake in all of this. We need to make sure that we are seeking, by the grace of God, to be what the Bible calls us to be. Notice then,

The Necessity of Temperance

secondly, the necessity of temperance. After the husband of one wife, temper it. Now this can be used with reference to sobriety in the use of wine, though there's going to be a prohibition against being a wine bibber specifically. Here it has to do with mental sobriety.

The word denotes self-control, balanced judgment, and the avoidance of rash behavior. That's a good thing that you'd like in an elder. Probably a good thing that you'd like in your brain surgeon. It's probably a good thing that you'd like in a guy who, you know, disengages or disarms bombs.

You don't want rash behavior. Yeah, I'll just cut the red wire. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Let's think about this, champ.

I'm not sure cutting the red wire is the best possible idea here. Brethren, that needs to be the case with reference to eldership.

The Necessity of Sober-Mindedness

The third, notice sober-mindedness. After temperate is sober-minded, similar to temperate and has to do with self-control, especially as it relates to exercising good judgment, discretion, and common sense. I call this good pastoral instincts. And that's not code word, it's not mysterioso, it's good pastoral instincts.

If I was gonna hire a policeman, I wouldn't hire the guy that says, you know why I wanna be a cop? I wanna carry a gun and mess with people. Sorry, I don't think you're the guy for this particular job. What if a guy says, I want to be an elder because I want to lord it over the flock?

No way, dude. That's not good. You have good pastoral instincts. Are you able to navigate?

Are you able to not rashly jump into something and end up making it more of a mess than it already was? The

Good Behavior and Hospitality

next is the necessity of good behavior. In 2.9, this word is translated modest. It means respectable, orderly, and well-behaved. The next is hospitality.

Again, not an isolated case. Here, Romans 12, 13, be hospitable to one another. 1 Peter chapter 4 at verse 9. And in Hebrews 13 at verse 2, it falls within the larger context of love. Hospitality.

As I said, we're going to bypass the able to teach there and then move on.

Moderation with Alcohol

Notice then the necessity of moderation with reference to alcohol. He's not a slave of drink. The Bible is not anti-drink. The Bible is okay with moderate drink.

The Bible forbids too much drink. I can give you the texts. Just call me, ask me, write me, email me, text me, carrier pigeon me. I will give you the texts with reference to the Bible does not forbid a moderate use of alcohol.

The Bible does forbid an immoderate use of alcohol.

Avoiding Violence and Bullying

The next is the necessity to avoid violence, not violent. The old King James has not a striker. Be a good way to end a particular dispute, huh? The pastor just, you know, cocked back and threw a haymaker and ended the battle.

You can't do that. You can't hit people. I know it's odd, but you just can't smack people around. You're not supposed to be violent.

He's not a giver of blows. The word denotes a violent person who is prone to physical assault on others and demonstrates a bad-tempered, irritable, and out-of-control individual. We might also add, as a subset category, which is an expression of this sort of a mindset, a bully. You're not supposed to bully people into the kingdom of God.

You're not supposed to bully people relative to sanctification. You're not supposed to browbeat people to get them to do what they ought to do or what you want them to do. You're not supposed to bully people in the pastoral ministry. Praise God that he doesn't bully us.

Praise God that he doesn't lambast us. Praise God that when we come to him for wisdom, he doesn't upbraid us. Thankfully, he's not a bully and pastors are not to be bullies either. Notice the next is

Financial Contentment Required

the necessity of financial contentment. The necessity of financial contentment, not greedy for money. A brethren, he doesn't live on love and fresh air. The Bible makes the case to pay your pastors.

Leviticus 18 makes the case to make sure that the Levites don't starve to death. But he's not to be greedy for money. Peter says he's to engage in eldership functions and roles willingly, not for dishonest gain. He's not in it for the money.

The heretics are. Turn to 1 Timothy 6 at verse 3. If anyone teaches otherwise, does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness. He is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.

From such withdraw yourself, and then an extended treatment concerning contentment. Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.

But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Now that's balanced by the instructions from Paul to Timothy to tell the rich in 1 Timothy 6, 17 to 19. And the instruction isn't, get rid of all your money.

No, that's not the way Paul addresses those who are rich. Paul's observationally making the statement that, you know, at times a man says he's making his way in the world, but it's actually the world that's making its way in his heart. That is a reality. That is a potential.

That is a problematic approach. Solomon warns against that in the book of Proverbs. He's all for hard work. Do you see a man who excels in his work?

He shall stand before kings. Solomon's all about getting your house in order and making sure you have the things that you need to sustain a wife and children. Oh, Solomon's all pro that, but don't overwork to be rich. Sometimes you have to overwork just because your boss says to or whatever, but if your driving motivation is only ever money, that's problematic.

It's not money that's the root of all evil, it's the love of money that's the root of all kinds of evil. So not greedy for money. The next is, but gentle. It was somewhat liberating reading Zanke and others on Philippians 4, 5, because it says, let your gentleness be known to all men.

I don't particularly see myself as Mr. Gentle. I know that may come as a surprise, but gentleness, what does that mean? Does that mean quiet?

Because I lose. Does that mean, you know? Just completely behind the scenes? No, gentleness.

The old King James translates Philippians 4-5, which by the way is the same word, when he says, not but gentle. Not greedy for money, but gentle. Philippians 4-5 in the old King James, moderation. BDAG, which is a lexicon of the Greek New Testament, it says, or defines it thus, not insisting on every right of letter of law or custom, yielding, gentle, kind, courteous, tolerant.

Zanke leans on Aristotle, the philosopher who defines it as equity or equitable. And Zanke says, the apostle is exhorting us to demonstrate this gentleness or moderation in matters pertaining to this life and to things indifferent for the sake of peace and concord, lest we always pursue our own rights to the maximum extent in our affairs with our neighbor. Rather, we should adapt ourselves and our causes to the simplicity as much as possible and to our neighbor's need. John Gill says, not dealing with men according to the severity of laws and strict justice, but according to equity.

And I got to tell you, brethren, this does open up elders to a lot of charges, not a lot of charges, but a lot of concerns. Boy, they're way too easy on that guy. What do you want? Everybody's head chopped off and a bin out back?

I mean, at times, brethren, you got to know when to hold them. You got to know when to fold them. You got to know when to run. I mean, come on.

There's a pastoral instinct requisite for pastoral ministry. And this idea of moderation, translated here as gentleness, speaks to or gets at this, not dealing with men according to the severity of laws and strict justice, but according to equity, and with mildness and gentleness, giving up strict and proper right, receding from what is man's due, and not rigidly insisting on it, putting up with affronts and injuries. If an elder can't do that, then don't even want it. Can I just give you all a practical piece of advice if criticism and concerns and all those sorts of things bug you, may I suggest the RCMP, actually I doubt that would be any better, but basket weaving, painting, whatever, whatever floats your boat.

But he says putting up with affronts and injuries. Believe it or not, not everybody loves pastors. I mean, they do, they don't kill them, they don't set them on fire, but there is a sense where, at times, they're not everybody's favorite guy. If I asked you, who do you like more, firemen or policemen, you'd say firemen.

Everybody loves a fireman. What does he do? He rescues you from a burning building. What does the policeman do?

He writes me tickets. Pastors at times find themselves in either camp. They're either heroically rescuing people from burning buildings. Actually, this is not in my head.

I don't have some weird self-important aggrandizement with reference to pastoral ministry. My point is simple. If a dude can't put up with a little criticism, if a dude can't put up with a lot of concerns, if a dude can't be put up with being second-guessed, man, I got to say, it ain't for you. It really isn't for you.

And that's not bad. That's not a condemnation. You're a horrible person. No, you got to know the job.

You got to know what's involved. You got to know the situation. And if you're too delicate for that kind of interaction, there's other jobs out there where you can avoid it. Putting up with affronts and injuries and bearing them with patience and interpreting things in the best sense.

Right? Doesn't love keep no record of wrongs? I think so. 1 Corinthians chapter 13. And putting the best constructions on words and actions they will bear, and in using inferiors and equals with all humanity, kindness and respect.

And this is what is here intended, which the apostle would have made known, exercised and practiced publicly, that it might be seen and known of all, and God might be glorified. Webster's 1828 on moderation, restraint of violent passions or indulgence of appetite, calmness of mind, equanimity as to bear prosperity or adversity with moderation, frugality and expenses. Equanimity means mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. Think fighter pilot.

Again, not saying the pastoral ministry is like an F-16 fighter pilot, no, but do you want an unstable man in the cockpit of a billion dollar machine that has multiple bombs strapped to it? I don't. I want dudes who are calm, dudes who are restrained, dudes who are moderate. I don't want them trigger happy.

Oh, well, I thought that neighborhood was filled with terrorists. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Brethren, I don't think Paul is out to lunch in any of these specifics relative to the church of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Freedom from Quarrelsomeness

Next, he says the necessity to avoid quarrels, not quarrelsome, kind of connected to not violent. It's a verbal violence. It's a lashing out. It's trying to best your opponent.

That doesn't mean there can't be spirited debate. I mean, I'd like to think that we're beyond the point, or hopefully not beyond the point, where dudes can disagree and still remain brothers and love each other. That's okay. We don't disagree on justification.

We don't disagree on the Trinity. We don't disagree on Christology. But there might be some tertiary matters we can disagree, we can get fired up. Might raise our voices a little bit, all in good control and whatnot.

But this contentiousness, this quarrelsomeness. Notice in 2 Timothy 2, 24 and 25. 2 Timothy 2, 24. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all. Again, I'm not sure that we got the memo, but we can't quarrel people into the kingdom of God.

It's like Peter when he talks to wives in 1 Peter chapter 3. You know what you're supposed to do as a wife if you're married to an unbeliever? Constantly nag him to believe on the gospel. Constantly quarrel with him that he's led and constrained to come to the Lord Jesus.

I'm sure at some point it's okay in Peter's theology for a wife to point her husband to the cross by all means. But what does Peter say when I'm without a word? In other words, let your conduct be such that he's intrigued. He asks questions.

You submit and you honor me and I'm not a believer. Why do you do that? Because the blessed Lord who saved me calls me to do this. You don't win them without a word.

You're not to nag them into the kingdom, lecture them into the kingdom, scold them into the kingdom. Sure, that's a tough one. I mean, my predilection would be unconverted wife. I'm going to, you know, put scripture versus repent or be damned on the mirror when she goes to, you know, look in the mirror to brush her teeth.

I better flee to Jesus because that note told me to. You know, I'm sure that the tendency or temptation is there, but we can't nag people into the kingdom. We can't quarrel people into the kingdom. So a servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance so that they may know the truth and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

And then

Freedom from Covetousness

the last one is covetousness. Covetousness, again, it goes along with the not greedy for money. Covetous, if you've got the New King James, you'll see a marginal reading that says it's textual variant. If you've got anything other than a King James or New King James, you don't have covetous at that point.

So refer back to not greedy for money. But covetous deals with more than just money. It's that disposition or that idea of heart wherein not only do we want what they've got, but we don't want them to have what they've got. We have this inordinate sort of desire for things that we shouldn't have.

We should be moderate. We should be self-controlled. We should be of good behavior. We shouldn't be governed by the desire for stuff.

We should be content, not covetous.

Self-Control: The Unifying Theme

I would suggest finally, and in closing, the overarching concern seems to me, I could be wrong, but it seems to me, and if it is wrong, don't listen from here on out, self-control. Just self-control in each of these areas. Sexual matters, self-control. Drink, self-control.

Money, self-control. So he's not saying sex bad. He's not saying money bad. He's not saying those things are bad.

He's saying regulate and control and discipline your heart in such a way that those things don't have mastery over you. In fact, Knight summarizes this whole section by saying, in short, And Solomon really hits the nail on the head over and over and over again in the book of Proverbs. In fact, we'll close here and I'll just read the several verses that Solomon indicates.

Application from Proverbs

Turn back first to Proverbs 4. Proverbs chapter 4. And as you hear these, as you read them for yourself, think of their sort of appropriate application to this list of qualifications for elders. When there's prohibitions against too much wine, when there's prohibitions against too much money, there's prohibitions against sexual infidelity, when there's prohibitions against outrage and quarrelsome and striking and violence and, you know, all those sorts of things.

What ultimately is at the heart of this? It's the heart. And so in Proverbs 4 at 23 says, keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life. And then notice, put away from you a deceitful mouth and put perverse lips far from you.

Let your eyes look straight ahead and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left. Remove your foot from evil.

What comes first in the list? Keep your heart with all And then, once that's under reign and under control, you deal with the mouth, you deal with the lips, you deal with the eyes, you deal with the feet, you deal with those particular externals that are oftentimes co-opted in sinful directions and end up compromising us as God-fearing men and women. Notice in 1417. 1417, a quick tempered man acts foolishly and a man of wicked intentions is hated. You see, don't be quarrelsome and don't be violent.

Don't be a bully. Don't be quick tempered. Don't try to browbeat people into the kingdom. Don't try to browbeat people into the church.

Don't try to browbeat people in a way that is simply inconsistent with the rule and the reign and the government of Christ. Christ calls us to exercise the things that are in 1 Timothy 3. Notice in verse 29, same chapter. He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.

Notice 1518. A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention. 1632. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Think about that for a moment.

In the minds of men, godless men, worldly men, what's most important? Strength, might, power. What's most important? Taking a city.

What does Solomon say? He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Notice in 17 at verse 27. He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.

I love verse 28. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace. When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. The bar is low for looking smart. close your mouth.

I know that's hard. Gotta say, just close it. Nine out of 10 people there will go, man, he's wise. You could be thinking about sunsets.

You could be thinking about anything and everything except what they're actually discussing, but if you close your mouth, you're gonna at least portray something of wisdom. What a blessed piece of instruction that God through Solomon gives us. 1911, the discretion of a man makes him slow to anger and his glory is to overlook a transgression. 21, wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. 2117, he who loves pleasure will be a poor man. He who loves wine and oil will not be rich. Notice in 23, 1 to 3, when you sit down to eat with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you and put a knife to your throat if you are a man given to appetite.

Do not desire his delicacies for they are deceptive food. If you're a man given to appetite, you know that predilection. What's Solomon say? Go ahead, grow forearms and just start grabbing chickens and food and eat.

No, show some restraint, exercise some self-control. Notice in 29 to 35, who has woe, who has sorrow, who has contentions, who has complaints, who has wounds without cause, who has redness of eyes. Those who linger long at the wine, those who go in search of mixed wine. Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly.

At the last it bites like a serpent, stings like a viper. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, or like one who lies at the top of the mass saying, they have struck me, but I was not hurt. They have beaten me, but I did not feel it.

When shall I awake that I may seek another drink? You see, self-control is pervasively set forth in scripture. Notice 25-16. Have you found honey?

Eat only as much as you need, lest you be filled with it and vomit. Verse 27 in the same chapter. It is not good to eat much honey, so to seek one's own glory is not glory." And then verse 28, whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. An ancient city without walls was open for the taking.

What's Solomon saying? A man without self-control and self-discipline, he's open for the taking. The devil, the world, the flesh, temptation, sin, a whole host of things. Brothers in Christ, sisters in Christ, remember that list in 1st Timothy chapter 3 is for men who have proven or demonstrated those things.

They should be considered as qualified elders. But all of these things should resonate with all of us in the way of, yeah, I'm a sister that's never going to be an elder because Paul told me I'm not supposed to teach or exercise authority over a man. So therefore I'm going to go get five jugs of wine and knock it back? No, no, no, no, no.

You're not to be given too much wine. I don't have to be moderate? I don't have to be temperate. Of course we do.

The list in 1 Timothy 3 is characteristic or indicative of a Christian, of a believer. And if those things are lacking in our lives made by the grace of God, we pursue them and we cultivate them and we seek to be faithful. in the manner in which God tells us or calls us to. As a church, we pray through these qualifications. We look at men with reference to these qualifications.

And should we need to vote on men with reference to these things, then we vote based on what the qualifications say. And again, please don't look for perfection. Please don't look for spotlessness because we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever have that. but look for demonstrated faithfulness in each of these areas. Well, let us pray.

Closing Prayer

Our Father in heaven, thank you for your word, and thank you for its clarity and for its conciseness, and thank you that you've not left us to wander about on our own figuring out the best way to do things. You have told us how we ought to conduct ourselves in the church of God, which is the house of the living God, that pillar and ground of the truth. May we receive these things, and may you indeed bless men, raise men up to serve and function as elders and deacons in this church and other churches, and may you be glorified, and may you indeed be pleased to bless that preaching and teaching of the word for the salvation of a great multitude that no man can number. And we ask this in Jesus' name, amen.

Scripture References

• Proverbs 4:23-27; 14:17; 14:29; 15:18; 16:32; 17:27-28; 19:11; 20:1; 21:17; 23:1-3; 23:29-35; 25:16; 25:27-28
• Ezekiel 24:16
• Galatians 5:17
• Romans 7; 12:13
• 1 Corinthians 7; 7:3-5; 7:39; 13
• Ephesians 5
• Philippians 4:5
• 1 Timothy 2; 3; 3:1-7; 3:2-3; 3:4-5; 3:6; 3:7; 3:8-13; 4; 5:9; 6:3; 6:17-19
• 2 Timothy 2:24-25
• Hebrews 13:2
• 1 Peter 3; 4:9; 5