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Turn in your Bibles to Proverbs 
chapter 1. Proverbs chapter 1, we find ourselves looking in 
this particular book at biblical manhood. We considered the Christian 
man, very specifically his devotion to Christ, his discipline in 
life, his diligence in work, his determination to do justly, 
and his dedication to sound doctrine. Now we move from the man to his 
particular functions as husband and father. I realize there are 
other functions that man has, but we're going to concentrate 
on these two this morning. The Christian man as husband 
and father, looking to flesh out what the justified by faith 
alone man looks like in his life. We've been considering the doctrine 
of justification in our studies of Galatians. And Paul teaches 
very clearly, we're not saved by works. We're not saved by 
a combination of grace plus works or faith plus works. We're saved 
by God's grace alone through faith alone in Jesus Christ alone. And then that saved by grace 
alone man lives in a particular way. The Bible speaks to that. And I want to read beginning 
in Proverbs chapter 1 at verse 8. My son, hear the instruction 
of your father. Do not forsake the law of your 
mother, for they will be a graceful ornament on your head and chains 
about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, 
do not consent. If they say, come with us, let 
us lie in wait to shed blood. Let us lurk secretly for the 
innocent without cause. Let us swallow them alive like 
sheol. and whole like those who go down 
to the pit. We shall find all kinds of precious 
possessions. We shall fill our houses with 
spoil. Cast in your lot among us. Let 
us all have one purse. My son, do not walk in the way 
with them. Keep your foot from their path, 
for their feet run to evil and they make haste to shed blood. 
Surely, in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird. But 
they lie in wait for their own blood. They lurk secretly for 
their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who 
is greedy for gain. It takes away the life of its 
owners. Amen. Pastor Cam, can you pray, 
please? Thank you. Amen. Well, last week we considered 
verse 7. We referred to it in chapter 
1 of Proverbs. The fear of the Lord is the beginning 
of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. For us 
to be able to appreciate the book of Proverbs, we must have 
a fear of God. The Bible teaches us where we 
get that fear of God. It is by God Himself. Remember, 
Newton's wonderful hymn, "'Twas grace that taught my heart to 
fear." Well, that is specifically drawn out of the Scriptures in 
a promise concerning the New Covenant in Jeremiah 32. The 
Lord says, I will put my fear in their heart. Sometimes you 
hear people say, I'm going to put the fear of God in him. You 
cannot do that. Only God alone puts the fear 
of God in the hearts of people. So when by His grace He brings 
us to the Lord Jesus, He then permeates our soul with this 
Fear, so that we may appreciate and, God willing, appropriate 
His Word. John Murray describes the fear 
of God in this manner. He says, The fear of God in us 
is that frame of heart and mind which reflects our apprehension 
of who and what God is. And who and what God is will 
tolerate nothing less than totality commitment to Him. It's a blessed 
statement. Those who fear God live in totality 
of commitment to Him. They don't just turn on holiness 
when they come to church on Sunday. They don't just take their Scriptures 
and read in the morning and then live like the devil for the rest 
of the day. They don't ever disassociate 
themselves from that blessed union with Christ, but rather 
union with Christ and the fear of Lord does permeate all of 
their dealings. And as a Christian man, you must 
conduct yourself in a godly manner toward your wives and toward 
your children. That ought not to be revolutionary 
information. The Scriptures are replete with 
that emphasis. If you are single here this morning, 
there is nothing against you. There is nothing wrong with you. 
You're not a second-class citizen. We're not going to ask you to 
leave. I think that what we say concerning husbands and fathers 
does apply to all of us. And again, one of the intentions 
of this brief series in the Proverbs is to see how we can use this 
book to employ the utility of the book of Proverbs in our daily 
living. Arnot's commentary on the Proverbs 
subtitles subtitles it, Laws from Heaven for Life on Earth. And I think that is appropriate. 
But as we consider the Christian husband, we're going to make 
three broad observations. And the first is this. The Christian 
husband has received a gift. I think we need to keep that 
in mind because it should season the way or affect the way that 
we live with our wives. Being a husband or being a wife 
isn't being a second class citizen. Some in the history of the church 
have taught that singleness is the great design. That only those 
wretches who burn with sexual lust ought to take a spouse so 
they don't end up going to hell. That's not the case. Remember, 
in the creation week, the first time God said that something 
was not good, it was when Adam was found to be alone. The Lord 
said, it is not good for him to be alone. I will make him 
a helpmeet. I will make him a helper comparable 
to Him. answering to Him, one corresponding 
to Him. It didn't take Adam long to realize 
there was a female dog for the male dog. It didn't take him 
long to realize that they were coupled together, that they had 
union with one another. And so God looks upon that arrangement 
and He says, it's not good that the man is alone. I will make 
him one that answers to Him. And as Christian men, brothers, 
we need to see that our wives are a gift to us. They're not 
a curse. Now, if we enter into it unthinkingly 
and without wisdom and prayer and all that sort of thing, she 
can seem to be a curse. In fact, as we deal with biblical 
womanhood in the coming weeks, the Bible speaks a lot to this 
aspect of your lives. It says that it's better to live 
in the corner of a rooftop than with a contentious woman. So 
if you unwittingly and unfaithfully enter into a relationship like 
this, it can seem a curse. But in the normal ebb and flow 
of things, your wife isn't a curse. She is a blessed gift from the 
Lord God Most High. Proverbs 31, verse 10. He asks the question, who can 
find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above Ruby's." 
Again, it's modified there. Anybody can find an unvirtuous 
wife. Anybody can find a curse. Anybody 
can find one that will be a drain on his manhood, a drain on his 
energies, a drain on his resources, and one that will speak rottenness 
to his bones. But a virtuous wife, who can 
find such a thing? Well, the Scripture answers. 
It is a gift from our sovereign God. Proverbs 12, verse 4. Proverbs 
12, verse 4, An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, 
but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 
18 and verse 22. Proverbs 18 and verse 22. He who finds a wife finds a good 
thing. God is not objectifying you, 
ladies. He's not saying you're a piece 
of product. You're a piece of chattel property. You're just 
a thing. It's a convention of speech. 
The Author is telling us when you find a wife, you find a good 
thing. It is to obtain favor from the 
Lord. And I would suggest to you, brothers, 
that you let your relationship or your dealings with your wife 
be tempered by this reality. God didn't give her to you to 
make you upset. God didn't give her to you to 
ruin your life. God didn't give her to you to 
mess you up. God's not up in heaven saying, 
how can I best ruin this guy? I know what I'll do. I'll create 
this wretch of a woman and I will send her to him so that he'll 
be miserable all of his days. God is good and kind and gracious. and let that reality temper the 
way that we relate to our wives. She is a gift to us. She is designed 
by the Lord to be a blessing. Proverbs 19, 14, Houses and riches 
are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the 
Lord. Now in saying this, I'm not suggesting 
that every single woman is always a blessing to her husband. I 
acknowledge that there are some wretched women out there. I acknowledge 
that there are some sinful women out there. I acknowledge that 
in the course of life, sometimes a wife may bring rottenness to 
the bones of her man. She may be a great drain on him. But for the most of us, blessed 
by God as we are, we need to see our wives as a gift from 
Jehovah. We need to see them as a blessing. 
Martin Luther's description of his wife is fitting here. He 
says, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who 
fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect 
confidence. That man is often made to look 
like a monster, John Calvin. Some have said that he had not 
a great relationship with his wife. Just reading a biography 
on John Calvin, his wife died. He was devastated. He saw her 
as a great gift from God. He saw her as a great compliment 
to his life's work. He saw her as a blessed thing. And I submit, brothers, that 
we need to view our wives in that sort of a context. She's 
going to sin. She's going to error. She's going 
to do things that hurt us. But that does not argue against 
this point that by God's grace, she is given to us as a wonderful 
gift. So he treats her as one who has 
received a gift. Secondly, he loves his wife. 
He loves his wife. He doesn't just tolerate her. 
He doesn't just deal with her. I remember hearing titles for 
a sermon series on biblical family relations, and the man called 
it, Learning How to Deal with One Another. Could you be any 
more negative? Learning how to deal with one 
another? Now, there may be times in our 
married lives that we need to learn how to deal with one another. 
There may be times in the ebb and flow of our relationship 
when learning how to deal with one another answers the question 
that is most present for us. But as the general tenor of life, 
a man should cherish his wife. He should nourish his wife. This 
is what Paul says in Ephesians 5. He loves her. He cares for 
her. And this love includes at least 
four things. The first is he communicates 
with her. I don't know if you men have 
noticed this, but your wives like to talk more than you do. Isn't it the case? I don't think 
I'm the only one that finds myself in this position. In fact, as 
I've talked to men, one of the things I hear is that she always 
wants to talk. It's just the way it is. I wish 
I could explain all of the particulars involved. They just talk more. They want to talk. They want 
to hear that you love them. They want affirmations. Men can 
go a long time without any boost in the arm, with any shot in 
the arm, with any sort of encouragement. Women are not so designed. Peter 
tells us that we are to dwell with them according to understanding. We're to dwell with them according 
to wisdom. We're to know them. We're to 
understand them. We're to figure them out. We're 
to realize that communication is essential. He speaks righteously 
toward his wife. Proverbs 15, verse 1, a soft 
answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. She's not shadow property. She's 
not a second-class citizen. She's not one among your children. 
You don't treat her that way. You don't speak down to her. You don't be harsh with her. 
You don't be impatient with her. Now, as I'm preaching this, I 
realize it may sound like, I've got this down. My wife will clearly 
testify, I don't. You know, as they say, you've 
got one finger pointed out, three are pointing right back at you. 
This is the lifelong challenge. God has called us to be plotters. God has called us to be perseverers. God has called us to engage in 
a marathon, not a hundred yard dash. And if any place that is 
exemplified, it is in Christian marriage. Boy, it's thought it's 
hard enough for one redeemed sinner to take care of himself. 
Throw two redeemed sinners into the mix and it's tough. Then 
you come to the church and you get a bunch of redeemed sinners 
together and we don't know what to do with ourselves. Brethren, 
the man loves his wife. He communicates graciously. Proverbs 16 and verse 24. Pleasant 
words are like a honeycomb. Sweetness to the soul and health 
to the bones. Could your wife testify that 
your words are like that? That your words are like a honeycomb? Or are your words like the stings 
of the bees? Are your words like a wasp's 
nest? Are your words calculated to cut down, to destroy, to tear 
down, to negatively impact and affect her in a way that is not 
unto righteousness? He speaks righteously toward 
her. He praises her. I know very often, especially 
in Reformed circles, we're so afraid of pride. It doesn't stop 
us from being proud. But we're so afraid of pride 
that we'll never tell anybody, good job. I mean, if I say to 
somebody, that was a good thing you did at the work day, oh no, 
his head's going to get full of pride. God doesn't deal with 
us like that. Well done, good and faithful 
servant. When Jesus is searching the churches in Asia Minor, Revelation 
chapters 2 and 3, what does He say? I know your works, they're 
good. I commend you. You have a little strength, but 
you do a lot with it. He condemns their entertaining 
of false doctrine and heresy and all that, but He commends 
the good. Husbands, your problem, if you don't speak well to your 
wife or praise her occasionally, is not that she's going to get 
proud, it's that you've got big problems with the Bible. What's 
the Proverbs say in Proverbs 31? Proverbs 31, verses 28 and 
29. Her children rise up and call 
her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. He doesn't 
bow down and worship her. He doesn't give her untold adulation 
just because He wants to fulfill a requirement. He praises her. He speaks kindly. He acknowledges 
the work that she does. He sees that she's busy. He sees 
that she's industrious. He sees that she's up before 
the sun comes out so that she can provide for her family. And 
He doesn't just say, well, that's just your duty and the way you 
ought to function. Just the way you were made the 
role. No. Her husband also, when he 
praises her, and notice what he says in verse 29, many daughters 
have done well, but you excel them all. He's acknowledging 
the fact there's a lot of women out there that are industrious. 
There's a lot of women out there that are busy. There's a lot 
of women that do good. But honey, you excel them all. 
You're the apple of my eye. You're the gift that God has 
given to me. And instead of thinking I'm going 
to create this proud, arrogant witch, I am going to speak kind 
words to you and praise you and acknowledge the indebtedness 
I have to both God and you for your kindness in my life. He 
protects her. He protects her. His love extends 
to communication and protection. That means physical protection. 
There's a snake in the house. Don't run and hide and say to 
the wife, honey, kill the snake. Unless she rolls that way and 
she can grab that thing and just take care of it. That may be 
her gifting from the Lord. It means physical protection. You need to protect your wife. 
You need to protect her honor. The guy makes a move on her, 
you're there. It's always interesting to me 
in Proverbs chapter 6, verse 30, it says, People do 
not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is 
starving. Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold. He 
may have to give up all the substance of his house. Whoever commits 
adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own 
soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, 
and his reproach will not be wiped away. Where do you think 
he gets these wounds and dishonor? The next verse answers. For jealousy 
is a husband's fury. Therefore, he will not spare 
in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense, 
nor will he be appeased, though you give many gifts. God is real. He's not saying that it's okay 
to be a thief. He's not saying it's okay to 
go out and steal. He says if a thief is caught, 
he has to give it back. He has to restore, even up to 
half of his own household. But he says, an adulterer, people 
despise him. He breaks covenant with God and 
with his wife. And if he does such a foolish 
thing, wounds and dishonor he will get. Why? Because a husband 
is jealous. You protect your wife. You protect 
her spiritually. The book of Ephesians, Paul tells 
us that as husbands, we're to disciple our wives. We're to 
wash them with the water of the Word. We're to make sure they're 
not following heresy. We want to make sure they're 
not looking at BennyHinn.com. We want to make sure they're 
not getting led astray by every wind of doctrine, that they're 
able to be in church, that they're able to study the Bible, that 
they are reading good books calculated for Christian growth. Husbands, 
take a moment. Find a good book that is systematic 
theology, very basic. Give that to your wife. Encourage 
her. Christian fiction may be okay for a time or for a bit 
of a respite for the mind, but you need solid meat. You need 
doctrine. You need to understand. He protects 
her. It doesn't matter how well you're 
growing in your understanding of Robert Raymond's new systematic 
theology of the Christian faith. If your wife has no clue, of 
the basics of Christian theology. It's part of your job, man. to 
protect her spiritually. It's part of your job to make 
sure she's eating good food. It's part of your job to disciple 
her, to make sure that harmful influences do not come to her 
and that she has the blessed privilege of receiving good influences 
in her Christian nurture and maturation. This is something 
that is just wrong. We always expect men to be theologically 
astute, but it's okay if a woman just kind of knows that Jesus 
is the Savior. Women, you have the same mandate 
to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and 
strength. You need to read. You need to 
listen to sermonaudio.com. You need to be filling yourselves 
with good doctrine. There's no excuse in this day 
and age for there to be the kind of biblical and theological illiteracy 
that exists among men and women. Our conversation, our Christian 
fellowship, ought to center on the glories of God's Word. We read in Psalm 111 in the last 
few weeks, great are the works of the Lord. They are studied 
by all who have pleasure in them. You study that Word. You'll study 
theology. You'll want to learn about the 
Trinity. You'll want to understand about the deity of Jesus. You'll 
want to know about the person and work of the Holy Spirit as 
a blood-bought believer. These are normal things. We would 
never expect a child who is born just to stay in their diapers 
forever. That would be crazy. Imagine if your 16 year old kid 
was sitting here today with a diaper on. Because he never advanced. 
He never moved forward. He never grew. He never understood. Isn't this what Peter condemns 
his audience for? I'm sorry, the author of Hebrews? By this time you should be teachers. By this time, probably as he 
wrote that epistle to the Hebrews, they had been a Christian church 
for about 30 years. Y'all should be teachers of everybody 
concerning Christianity and doctrine. But you have need of somebody 
to come and tell you the first principles all over again. Why 
is that tolerable today? Why do we allow that? Why do 
we say okay to such an indifference with reference to doctrine? The 
man of God, as we saw last week, is dedicated to sound doctrine. 
So is the woman. And men, you need to make sure 
that you facilitate the reception of that sound doctrine. So the 
love involves communication, protection, and provision. Provide 
for your wife. Paul sets it straight in 1 Timothy 
5. I know we're confining ourselves primarily to the Proverbs, but 
that doesn't mean we can't look elsewhere. If any man does not 
provide for his own, what is he? Worse than an unbeliever. That's a powerful statement. 
In the book of Exodus, when God is speaking to a man taking on 
another wife, I'm not going to get into all of the particulars 
there, but suffice it to say, one of the instructions when 
He takes on another wife, He is not to diminish the first 
wife's cupboards, closets, or beds. In other words, when he takes 
on this second wife, he is not to neglect feeding, clothing, 
and providing sexually for his first wife. God's serious. If any man does 
not provide for his own, he's worse than an unbeliever. He 
has denied the faith. Proverbs 27-23, Be diligent to 
know the state of your flocks. and attend to your herds. For 
riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations. 
When the hay is removed and the tender grass shows itself, and 
the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, The lambs will provide 
your clothing, and the goats the price of a field. You shall 
have enough goat's milk for your food, for the food of your household, 
and the nourishment of your maidservants. You'll not only have enough for 
the household, but for the maidservants as well. You need to work hard. 
You need to be diligent. You need to provide for her. That does involve her cupboards. 
She needs to eat. It's kind of an amazing thing. It's kind of an interesting arrangement. 
We don't eat, we die. God has tasked us as men to be 
diligent so that our wives can eat. You need to provide for her closets. 
She needs to be clothed. We all believe in Christian modesty. We all believe that a woman should 
wear clothes. It doesn't mean she has to have 
the most outlandish, but it also means she doesn't have to wear 
gunny sacks. We're so holy. No, you're not. Provide for your 
wife. And sexually. That's not just 
some, you know, add-on to the marriage relationship. I've had 
to come to grips with the fact, at least twice thus far, that 
men interested in my daughters wanted to initiate a sexual relationship. It's not a bad thing. It's the 
way God made it. They didn't come to me saying, 
oh, her mind is great. Though they may have thought 
that, and I hope they do think that. Oh, she's a wonderful specimen 
of a human being. Yeah, she is that. What's the 
underlying rub in the marriage aspect? We don't want to just 
be friends. The Bible speaks to this, and 
it speaks beautifully and honorably and graciously. And sometimes 
in the Christian church, we see it in the early church, with 
this marriage is a necessary evil approach. That's not biblical. It's not godly. It's not righteous. He loves his wife through communication, 
protection, provision, and by lovingly leading her. He leads 
her. For the husband is the head of 
the wife, Ephesians 5. But he doesn't pound his fist 
and continually tell her all those things. He lovingly leads 
her. He comes alongside of her. He 
teaches her. He shows her the Scripture. That 
doesn't mean there aren't instances or seasons where He must say, 
look, I'm in charge here. We're going to do as I say. We 
don't have time for a big discussion right now. We don't have time 
for all the intricacies. We just need to act. In a godly 
home, a man ought to be able to do that without his wife falling 
apart. Because he's discipled her, and 
he's cultivated her, and he's loved her, and he's led her biblically 
and wisely. So the man of God, the Christian 
husband, acts as though he has received a gift, he loves his 
wife, which involves communication, protection, provision, and leadership. 
And then the third broad category, and we've already alluded to 
this, we won't spend a lot of time, he is sexually faithful 
to his wife. He is sexually faithful to his 
wife. There's a great illustration of this in the prophet Ezekiel. 
God wants to teach Israel a lesson. And God tells Ezekiel, son of 
man, I'm going to take the desire of your eyes. What is he talking 
about? His wife. His wife is going to 
die. And the way that Ezekiel responds 
to this is paradigmatic or a pattern or example for Israel as God 
takes the desire of their eyes. He rips their temple down right 
before their eyes via Babylon. But it's always intriguing, and 
I've heard Pastor Albert Martin say this before. When he said, 
son of man, I'm going to take the desire of your eyes, he didn't 
say which one. Who are you talking about? Because 
I've got a stable of them. Got them loaded on my computer. 
Got their phone numbers memorized. No, there was one desire of Ezekiel's 
eyes. He was faithful. He made a covenant. And He walked in fidelity to 
that covenant. And that's what God says to Christian 
men. When you say, I do, you better 
mean it. Proverbs 5. We alluded to this 
before. Proverbs 5. The three R's of 
sexual purity. The first is remove. Verse 8. Proverbs 5. Remove your way far 
from her and do not go near the door of her house. Stay away 
from other women. Please. Don't go near them. That doesn't mean you run around 
and say, they've got cooties, and they're pariahs, and you 
come into a church and the lady says hi, and you say, stay away 
from me, sister. Remove your way far from her, 
he says, and do not go near the door of her house, not near her 
bed. I realize you have heard this 
before. I realize some of you could preach it right back to 
me before, but I also realize it needs to be heated today. 
Too many men unfaithful. Too many women unfaithful. We're 
dealing specifically with men today. Women are not immune to 
this. Women are not above this. Women 
make their ungodly, unholy alliances as well. When Solomon comes to 
deal with his sons, he says, remove your way far from her. 
Do not go near the door of her house. He says secondly, verse 
18, rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let your fountain 
be blessed and rejoiced with the wife of your youth. What's 
a great way to guard against sexual sin? Love your wife, man. Enjoy your life. Is this Paul's 
point? 1 Corinthians 7? The only time 
you're to separate from one another is for a time of fasting, a time 
of prayer. But come together again, lest 
you be tempted. See, it's not evil, it's not 
bad, it's not wicked. Hebrews 13, the marriage bed 
is honorable among all. The fornicators and adulterers, 
God will judge. So the two R's, thus far, is 
remove your way far from her, rejoice in the wife of your youth. 
And the third is in verse 21. Remember, God's watching everything 
you do. God is watching everything you do. Verse 21, For the ways 
of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all 
His paths. The godly man, the biblical man, 
in the book of Proverbs and in other places, at least these 
three things are true of him. He lives as if he's received 
a gift, he loves his wife, and he is sexually faithful to her. Let's move on to the Father. 
Very similar, we're not going to cover a lot of new ground 
here. First thing is, he loves his children. I mean, have you ever watched the 
news and you hear these stories where men brutalize their children? 
It's unthinkable, isn't it? It's just amazing. How could 
you do that to your child? Animals don't treat their children 
that way. Well, some do, but not all. It is the natural pressure that 
God puts in the heart of a father to love his children. He loves 
them. He cares for them. He wants the 
best for them. The text that specifically exemplifies 
this in the book of Proverbs is every time Solomon says, my 
son, and instructs him. Because love is about doing good 
to others. Love is calculated to promote 
health for others. And Solomon tells his sons over 
and over again to pursue wisdom, to reject folly, to pursue godliness 
and righteousness and the fear of the Lord. This evidences his 
love for his children. Proverbs 23. He's able to say 
this in a warning against sexual sin. Proverbs 23, at verse 26, 
My son, give me your heart. I just don't want your external 
compliance. I don't want just your nods. I don't want you just 
to make sure you don't ever do any bad thing. No, son, give 
me your heart. I want the best for you. I want 
it to be heart religion for you. Let your eyes observe my ways, 
He says, for a harlot is a deep pit and a seductress is a narrow 
well. She also lies in wait as for 
a victim and increases the unfaithful among men. Every godly father 
seeks the heart of his children. In recent years, Ted Krip's book, 
Shepherding a Child's Heart, has grown in great popularity, 
discovering this very old truth, that a godly man who loves his 
children wants their heart. He wants their allegiance. He 
wants their devotion. Not because He's God in their 
lives, not because He's their idol, not because He's Nebuchadnezzar, 
but because He fears the Lord and He trusts that He speaks 
wisdom in their lives and He wants them to give Him their 
hearts. He loves them. Secondly, He provides 
for His children, much like He does for the wife. In fact, 1 
Timothy 5.8 applies to the children as well. But also in the Proverbs. Proverbs 13 and verse 22. Proverbs 
13.22, a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. The 
wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. This is 
growing increasingly more difficult as the days go by, as we have 
a bankrupt economy, as we have nothing backing our monetary 
system, where it's just the word of man who keeps everything afloat. It's an amazing thing how it 
has sustained itself this long, how it continues to go on. It's 
an increasingly difficult thing in our generation to provide 
inheritance for our children, let alone our children's children. 
You may look at Solomon there and say, man, I must not be a 
good man. I mean, I'm making enough just 
to eke out a living right now. I don't have much money to put 
aside for my children, let alone my children's children. There's 
one inheritance every godly man here can provide. It's a spiritual 
inheritance. It is the emphasis on sound doctrine. It is ensuring that they're coming 
to a biblical church. It is ensuring that they understand 
the truth of Christianity. As Bridges says, there is no 
earthly substance if there is no earthly substance to leave. 
Yet a church in the house, a family altar, the record of holy example 
and instruction, and above all, a store of believing prayer laid 
up for accomplishment, when we shall be silent in the grave, 
will be an inheritance to our children of inestimable value. Great statement. I've alluded 
to Peyton's autobiography. Read that sometime and you'll 
see Proverbs 13, 22 fleshed out spiritually. Peyton spoke glowingly 
of his father and of that godly inheritance that he passed on 
to his son, preparing in a great way a man who would go to be 
a missionary to the cannibals. Spurgeon called him the king 
of the cannibals. Bethany is running through the 
forest as cannibals are chasing him. And he would say things, 
and I looked up and I saw Jesus on His throne, wielding His glorious 
scepter. How does such a man become? It starts in the home. It starts 
with nurture. It starts with prayer. So as 
an example, I realize God can zap a solitarist on the road 
to Damascus and send him out as the mighty apostle to the 
Gentiles. I understand that. But in the 
normal course of life, God works through means. And you, man, 
are a means in the lives of your children. Thirdly, He instructs 
His children. He instructs His children. Again, 
all of the passages where Solomon says, My son, We saw it in Proverbs 
1.10, My son of sinners entice you. What? Do not consent. He 
repeats himself for that address in 2-1, 3-1, 3-11, 3-21, 4-1, 
4-10, 4-20, 5-1, 6-1, 6-20, 7-1, 7-24. Solomon has a great urgency 
to instruct his sons. Why? He's rearing them for the 
court. He's rearing them for royalty. 
He's rearing them to govern a kingdom. He is rearing them for a position 
of prestige. He wants them to know and understand 
the very law of God. Paul sets it this way. And you 
fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. Don't provoke 
them. Don't be inconsistent with them. Don't be a harsh taskmaster toward 
them. Don't be cruel. Don't be ungodly. 
Don't be unholy. Don't provoke them. They're image 
bearers. They bear the image of God Most 
High. Don't mess with them. Don't ruin 
them. Not a piece of property for your 
amusement. Don't provoke them to wrath. 
He says, but rather bring them up in the training and admonition 
of the Lord. This speaks to act and word. Training and admonition. Act 
and word. The way that you deal with them 
by your actions. The way you instruct them with 
your Word. Deuteronomy 6.4 says, you shall 
teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them 
when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you 
lie down, and when you rise up. You are seeking to instill in 
them that desire to take every thought captive to the obedience 
of Jesus Christ. You're an instructor. You say, 
well, I'm not that bright. You don't have to be that bright. 
That's the beautiful thing about biblical revelation. You don't 
have to be a rocket scientist. You're not being asked to split 
the atom here. You're really not. You're being 
asked to take a little child and read the Scripture to them 
and give a brief explanation. Oh, it's just so hard. No, it isn't. It's not hard. Just read it. Just say, wow, look at that giraffe. God made that giraffe. Look at 
Mount Shem. God made Mount Shem. What did 
God make? God made all things. Why did 
God make you and all things? For His own glory. Get a little 
simple catechism and lead them along. Teach them truths. Call 
them to understand this is God's world. We're His creatures. He 
has given us His written Word. It's for our good. That's what 
a godly man does. He loves his children. He provides 
for his children. He instructs his children. And 
children, you may not like this, but he disciplines his children 
as well. He disciplines His children. There are two elements involved 
in discipline. Verbal reproof and physical chastisement. Verbal reproof. The Father gives 
commands. The Father gives instructions. 
The Father teaches with His tongue. And physical chastisement. The 
Father reinforces certain lessons with the rod. This is where most humanists 
go, oh, you wicked, Christians, beating your kids. You beat them. You're horrible. I had an instance 
of this happen to me once. A person from another generation 
heard that we use physical discipline upon our children, and she said, 
that's horrible. You're beating your child. For 
a minute, I just, oh man, am I beating my child? That's pretty 
tough. It's like the complex question 
in logic. Have you stopped beating your 
wife now? How do you answer that question? When I asked this person, what 
happened when you were a child and you got out of line? She 
said, well, we got belted. Well, isn't there a difference 
between what happened, the big crimes or bad things that happened 
in school in your generation versus what goes on today? What 
do you think the problem is? They don't get belted anymore. 
God speaks to this. And it grates against the flesh. It's something we don't naturally 
want to do. But God's Word is very clear. 
Verbal reproof. Physical chastisement. Bridges 
said, the rod without affection is revolting tyranny. We need 
to make sure we understand that. God is not calling us to just 
beat our kids. The rod without affection is 
revolting tyranny. It is conducted in love. It is bathed in prayer. Proverbs 
13 and verse 24, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he 
who loves him disciplines him promptly. Proverbs 19 and 18, 
Proverbs 19, 18, Chasten your son while there is hope, and 
do not set your heart on his destruction. Proverbs 20, verse 
30, Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner 
depths of the heart. Proverbs 22, 15, Foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive 
it far from him. You may also refer to 23, 13 
and 14. Do not withhold correction from 
a child. For if you beat him with a rod, 
he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod 
and deliver his soul, notice, from hell. It doesn't have converting 
power. It doesn't instill the grace 
of God. It doesn't create justification by faith alone. It is a means, 
however, of God's demonstration of His holy law to these little 
ones. And the fact that they are lawbreakers 
provides that platform by which you point them to the one alone 
who saves us from our sins. One particular dictionary on 
the Old Testament speaks of the word rod. It says in the poetic 
books, the most common understanding of this word shabbat in the poetic 
literature of the Old Testament is that of a rod of discipline 
employed by one in authority. as in the case of a father for 
remedial punishment, civil authorities for penal use, or God. Mark Chansky in his book on manly 
dominion says this, when a child premeditatedly challenges and 
defies a parent's authority by purposefully crossing a verbally 
drawn line, he must be given reason to regret it. This is heavy. You're not spanking 
your child just so you can carry out some obligation. You're teaching 
him. God is a God who is holy. Law 
is real. Rebellion must be stopped. He 
goes on to say, the rod is an eloquent communicator. The Lord 
tells us it's able to register a wholesome impression upon young 
minds as strokes reach the inmost parts. It penetrates far deeper 
into a little soul than logical argumentation. You see, Junior, 
we're going to set forth this syllogism as to know. You explain, you discipline. 
It teaches its student to honor father and mother. The rod confronts 
a child's rebellious will like no other device. Whenever a child's 
behavior represents a defiant challenge of parental authority, 
it's not time for a time out. The devil within the child's 
heart is rearing his rebellious head. It's no time to lie back 
until the serpent retreats back underground. It's time to give 
a strong blow to that serpentine head by a principled spanking 
to the child's behind. Bridges said this, Satan begins 
with the infant in arms. I remember reading a footnote 
in Bridges' commentary on Proverbs. He said, the fathers thought 
that if a child, his will wasn't subdued by the age of 18 months, 
they figured he was lost. Wow. That's heavy. 18 months? Man. That is hardcore. Thankfully, 
there's no proverb that says that very specific. We could all just fall down and 
cry before God right now. He says, Satan begins with the 
infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first 
stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Every vice 
commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish 
authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before 
the knotty oak is beyond our power. Bend that tender twig 
before that knotty oak is beyond our power. That's sage counsel 
from Charles Bridges in his commentary on the book of Proverbs. Well, 
brethren, we have seen the Christian man as man. Devotion to Christ, 
discipline in his life, diligent in his work, determination to 
do justly, and dedicated to sound doctrine. We've seen the man 
as a husband. He received a gift. He loves 
her, and he is sexually faithful to her. And as a Christian father, 
he loves his children, he provides for them, he instructs them, 
and he's not afraid to discipline them. He takes seriously the 
biblical admonition. He takes seriously the weight 
of the proverb that says, he who spares his rod hates his 
son. But he who loves him disciplines 
him promptly. He seeks to bend that twig, that 
early twig, before it becomes a knotty oak that he cannot subdue. I want to encourage my brothers 
here. I know the temptation. We hear 
a sermon like this. I can preach a sermon like this 
and go home and cry. Boy, man, I have just messed 
it up miserably. Many ways. The best of days. This does not 
describe us. Your status with God ultimately 
is found in Christ. Be encouraged by that. Any time 
we look to the law of God, we must cast a look upon Calvary 
as well. We must look to Him who exemplified 
all that the Bible sets forth. The One in whom there was no 
transgression. The One in whom there was perfect 
righteousness. The One in whom we have believed 
and who by God's grace saves us from our sins. Brothers, be 
encouraged. Your place in heaven is not secured 
by your faithfulness in wielding the rod of discipline. Your place 
in heaven is not secured by the fact that you provide for your 
wife. Your place in heaven is secured for you by the champion 
of Israel, by the lone Savior for sinners, by the King of kings 
and Lord of lords, who always did what the Father commanded 
Him, who didn't do it with any external compliance, void of 
internal love. but who always willingly entered 
into every arrangement and every obligation with zeal for the 
Lord of hosts. Your status, your position, your 
standing in heaven is bound up in the person and in the work 
of the Lord Jesus Christ. God made Him who knew no sin 
to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God 
in Him. Those of us who have failed miserably 
as men, those of us who have failed miserably as husbands, 
those of us who have failed miserably as fathers, nevertheless, by 
God's grace and for His glory, He imputes a righteousness not 
our own unto us. That glorious exchange, that 
blessed arrangement, That great theme of biblical data is that 
God in Christ is reconciling the world to Himself. It is by 
His grace and for His glory. So my brothers, be encouraged. 
Your position in heaven is secure because of Jesus Christ. My brothers here, be encouraged 
to go and do what God says. As justified by faith alone, 
men, we will strive, by His grace and for His glory, to be these 
kinds of men. To demonstrate this sort of devotion 
to God and His law. To say with the psalmist, oh 
how I love thy law, it is my meditation all the day. To do 
what God says in terms of our relationships to others. It's 
a big deal today. Relationship. Relationship. The 
Bible speaks to that. The Bible says that God is calling 
you to live in a particular way. Not based on your wisdom. Not 
based on your understanding. Not based on pragmatics or secular 
humanism. Not based on what works. But 
based on God's revelation. Based on God's written word. 
Remember, we're to trust in the Lord with all our heart. We're 
not to lean upon our own understanding. In all our ways, that includes 
being a husband and being a father, we are to follow Him and realize 
that He will direct our steps. We need to be real men. The real 
man has been typified in two excessive ways. One, he's a passive 
wimp that doesn't do a thing. Oh, honey, whatever. Whatever 
you say, honey. Whatever, honey. Whatever. That 
you repent. Your wife needs you to lead. 
She may resist it initially, but that's what she needs. Your 
children don't need you to indulge them and give them everything 
they want. They're messed up. There's foolishness bound up 
in their hearts. You, by God's grace, are the 
authority in their life, telling them what they need. So, on the 
one hand, we've got men who are passive, they're like limp-wristed, 
you know, Effeminate. Sorry about that. These kind 
of guys, right? That's what society holds up to us. They weep a lot. 
Not to say a godly man doesn't weep. But he gets weepy. He carries 
a purse. You carry a man bag, I'm not 
here to challenge you on all that sort of thing. But there's 
this picture of a man that is effeminate. And lo and behold, 
they try to identify him with Jesus. Like Jesus just walked 
around. swinging his purse and drinking 
his tea with his pinky raised. That's the one extreme. But on 
the other hand is this wretch of a man. He's a big oaf. He thinks that to lead means 
to pound his fist. He thinks that to lead means 
to be harsh and unkind. He thinks that to lead just means 
to make sure everything is on his way. The biblical man is 
in there. The biblical man isn't weak. 
He's not passive. He'll walk around like this. 
But on the other hand, he doesn't have to continually insist upon 
his greatness and authority in the home. He's like Jesus. The Son of Man did not come to 
serve, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many. He 
provides loving leadership. An overworked term, but one that 
is applicable is servant leadership. That's been overworked. But the 
concept is real. It is Jesus serving in leadership. Pastor Albert Martin puts it 
this way. The foundation of the way that 
the world operates is in a pyramid structure. Everybody down here 
serving the One up here. He said in Christianity, you 
turn that over. Jesus taught the first will be 
last and the last will be first. Jesus taught this man down here 
serves others. It's not like the Gentiles. He 
doesn't lord it over them. He's godly. He's kind. He's gracious. So on the one hand, brethren, 
your position in heaven is secured by grace through faith in Jesus. 
But on the other hand, the time has come that we quit being this 
limp-wristed man, or we quit being this pig of a man, and 
that we operate biblically. Manhood isn't about just these 
things that we do. If you drive a big truck, you're 
a man. If you climb mountains, you're 
a man. If you smoke a cigar, you're 
a man. Where's that in the Bible? Not 
to suggest that you can't drive a big truck and be a man, but 
we externalize these things as what manhood is all about. That's 
not right. Manhood looks like what we've 
tried to sketch here. Manhood looks like a man who's 
protecting his wife. Manhood is about a man who's 
providing for his wife. He gets up on Monday morning. 
He goes to work. He comes home. He kisses his 
wife. He loves his wife. He hugs his kids. He plays with 
his kids. He goes to bed and he gets up. The next day, he 
goes to work. And he does that 365 days a year, 
taking a bit of break here and there. Sabbath rest, a couple 
weeks off, a little rejuvenation, reinvigoration. That's good. 
But he does that for the long haul. He cares for his kids. He plays 
ball with his kids. He runs with his kids. He spends 
time not just chastising them, not just disciplining them, but 
loving them and caring for them and sharing interests with them, 
going to their soccer games if that's what they do, trying to 
be involved in their lives. Again, the Bible doesn't say 
you've got to go to a soccer game. I'm trying to give some illustration to 
this, flesh this point out a little bit. Men, be encouraged. Your status in heaven is secure. 
But your life on earth, you're called to serve like Christ. I want to exhort young men. You 
probably all want to get married. I hope. I've often feared or thought, 
man, if my kids are like, I never want to get married, I'd kind 
of think, what's that saying about the marriage that we've 
displayed here? One of my sons at eight said, what's the very 
youngest you'll let me get married? I said 11. He went, really? I 
said, no, I'm just kidding here. Just kidding. Put the brakes 
on that. Young men, you're going to want to get married. That's 
okay. It's a pressure and an impulse 
put in you by God. Restrain it. Guard it. Eleven's 
not an optimum age for that. Make sure to know the state of 
your herds. Make sure you've got your life 
somewhat in order. I'm not saying you've got to 
be on the Fortune 500 forums before you can get married. You've 
got to be able to do something other than play Nintendo. You're 
going to want to get married. Pray. You're going to hear this, you're 
just rambling. This is what Christian pastors always do. Mark my words. If you don't pray, you're going 
to say, I really should have prayed. I should have listened 
to you. Hopefully I won't be there gloating 
saying, gee, I told you so. If a wife is a gift from the 
Lord, who should you seek? The Lord. I've got to get on 
eHarmony. I've got to go to a conference. 
Not bad. Use means. I don't know about 
all that. But seek God. Seek the Lord. Seek favor from 
Jehovah. If He is the giver of good gifts, 
Seek Him on this one. You must be equally yoked. This, 
yeah, but, she may come around. Marriage is not a missionary 
activity. You don't marry a Satanist with 
the view to convert them. You see, the converse is more 
likely to happen. The Bible is very clear here. 
I've been challenged on this before. It's clear. You are not to be unequally yoked. 
Believers marry believers. Christians marry Christians. I don't care how good looking 
she is. I don't care how wonderful her 
intentions are. I don't care that she can bake 
great cakes. If she is not a believer on Jesus 
Christ, you cannot marry her. And then realize that even a 
gracious Christian woman may not necessarily be the one for 
you. A lot of Christian women out 
there. A lot of Christian men. That doesn't mean that each one 
ought to be married to the other. I'm reminded of Ian Murray's 
biography on Jonathan Edwards. Jonathan Edwards had several 
children. We're going to close here in just a moment. But Ian 
Murray said, not all the children were as mild as Jerusha or as 
obedient as Esther. He's talking about Edward's children. 
The quick temper of Sarah, the eldest daughter, so persisted 
that according to tradition, when her hand was asked in marriage 
by Elihu Parsons 10 years later, Edwards plainly disclosed to 
him the unpleasant temper of his daughter. That just kills 
me. See, Jonathan Edwards, this pastor 
theologian, one of the foremost philosophers America's ever seen, 
telling this young man, she's got an unpleasant temper. Isn't 
that awesome? See, Edwards was godly, and he 
was intelligent. He was a family man. You do a 
study on the great men in the 18th century. Some of these men 
did great things for God, but they did miserable things to 
their wives. They left their wives for almost 
months on end to go preach. Not Edwards. Faithful man. Went home every night. Well, 
actually, he had a study in his home. Spent 13 hours in the study 
every day. I'm sure when his wife popped 
her head in, he had time for her. So he plainly disclosed 
to him the unpleasant temper of his daughter. But she has 
grace, I trust, asked Parsons. To which Edwards replied, I hope 
she has, but grace can live where you cannot. Just because she's a Christian 
doesn't necessarily mean she's the wife for you. Be prayerful, 
young man. Think about these things, single 
man. Call upon the Lord to give you 
a gift uniquely fitted and suited to you. And then finally, for 
any here that have heard these things and go, wow, that's just 
weird, I want you to hear the gospel. The gospel is the good 
news. I tried to outline a little bit earlier that we are saved 
by grace through faith in Jesus. We're not saved through law keeping. 
The gospel is not, now go out and be better men. That's not 
the gospel. That's the law. Go out and try 
harder. Do it for Jesus. No, the gospel 
is, Jesus has done it for sinners. The gospel is, look to Him in 
faith and you will have everlasting life. If you have not believed 
the gospel, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be 
saved. Well, let us pray. Our Father, 
we come to you now and we acknowledge these are weighty issues and 
things that we certainly struggle with as men. And we thank you 
that there is forgiveness with you that you may be feared. We 
thank you for your grace and for the work of Jesus Christ 
on behalf of sinners. And our Father, we don't want 
to make that ungodly implication that we continue in sin, that 
grace may abound. But may that grace of the Gospel, 
may that mercy of forgiveness cause us to genuinely desire 
to be good and faithful men, to be godly husbands and fathers, 
and to do what we're called to do by the Scriptures. And we 
pray for any and all that do not know You, that You would 
just save them, that You would open their hearts and cause them 
to believe the truth as it is in Jesus. And we pray in His 
blessed name. Amen.