Turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs 31, I'll read verses 10 to 31. Beginning now, who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands.

She is like the merchant ships. She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it.

From a profit, she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle.

She extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself.

Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing.

She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.

Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. Amen.

Well, let us pray. Father in heaven, we thank you for this day. We thank you for the blessed privilege to gather for corporate worship. We pray that the Holy Spirit would guide our thoughts now as we consider sections of Proverbs and other portions of the Scripture.

We thank you that all Scripture is given by inspiration of God. It's literally God-breathed. We know it's profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness. We pray that You would thoroughly furnish us unto every good work, that You would cause us to be faithful in this present evil age.

We know there are many assaults and attacks against the truth as we find it in the Scriptures. We know there is a great revolt against traditional family, against motherhood, against fatherhood, all these things, God, we pray that nevertheless we would seek by the Spirit of God to be faithful as you call us to be according to our high calling in the gospel of our salvation. Do forgive us now for all of our sins and unrighteousness, and we ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Well,

Introduction

Proverbs 31 verses 10 to 31 is a very familiar portion of scripture. I hope that all of the ladies here are familiar with it, and all of the husbands are too, so that we can make sure everything's being done properly. Just kidding. But it describes the virtuous wife.

It's actually an alphabetic acrostic in Hebrew. So it's a carefully put together piece of scripture. Interestingly, in the Hebrew canon, the way that the Jews put the Old Testament together, It's the same content, the same books, but with reference to the order, we see some differences. And Ruth follows the book of Proverbs.

And in that, or rather, yeah, Ruth follows Proverbs in the Hebrew canon, and it provides a great illustration of the virtuous wife. In Ruth 3 at verse 11, we read, and now my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. So Ruth exemplifies the sorts of things that we see here in Proverbs 31, verses 10 to 31.

This won't be strictly expositional in the sense that we're gonna go through every jot and tittle. I wanna just give an overview and some thoughts. And then, as I said, look at other portions of scripture. But if we look at chapter 31, verses 10 to 31, we see first of all the Christian woman, just a woman in general.

We see that she's diligent, according to verse 13. We see that she's spiritually minded, according to verse 30. And we see that she's self-controlled, according to verse 26. With reference to this woman as she functions as a wife, she is trustworthy.

Notice in verse 11, the heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain. As well, she does good to her husband. She's not a curse upon him. She is not something that he would prefer to live out in the wilderness or rather have water dripping on his head, but she is a blessing.

Verse 12, she does him good and not evil all the days of her life. So Solomon addresses those particular things with reference to this virtuous woman, as a Christian woman, as a Christian wife, but then I wanna consider the Christian mother. And

Four Observations on the Christian Mother

there's four observations, again, from here and elsewhere in the Bible. First, her condition before God. Secondly, her influence over her children. Thirdly, her authority over her children.

And then fourthly and finally, her responsibility toward her children. Now, as mothers, you cannot save your children. As mothers, you cannot convert them. As mothers, you cannot make them Christians.

But as mothers, through example and through instruction, you can point them to the Lord of glory. You can point them to that one described in the Song of Solomon as altogether lovely and chief among 10,000. In our studies in the book of Deuteronomy, in Deuteronomy chapter 4, on the plains of Moab, Moses exhorts the children of God to be faithful as parents to instruct their children and their grandchildren. And Moses sets before them the Exodus.

And the Exodus is that great redemptive work of God wherein he liberated the children of Israel out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. So in other words, parents in old covenant Israel were to instruct their children on the redeeming power of God most high. Parents in the New Covenant Israel ought to be pointing them to the Lord Jesus Christ, showing them what scripture says concerning salvation by grace alone, through faith alone in Christ alone. So

Her Condition Before God

first, her condition before God. Notice specifically in verse 31. I'm sorry, verse 30. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

So as we look at that phrase, a woman who fears the Lord, we can conclude two things. One, she is saved by grace, and two, she walks with the Lord. We know that

Saved by Grace, Not by Nature

she is saved by grace because one characteristic of the unconverted, whether she's a woman or whether he's a man, is that there is no fear of God before their eyes. In fact, you can turn to the book of Romans in Romans chapter 3, just establishing her condition before the Lord. She is a saved woman. Notice in Romans chapter three, the section begins in chapter one, verse 18, for the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth and unrighteousness.

And then Paul indicts the Gentiles in chapter one, he indicts the Jews in chapter two, and then he brings to summation what he has said in chapter three. Notice in verse nine, what then? Are we better than they? No, or not at all.

For we have previously charged both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin. As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands. There is none who seeks after God.

They have all turned aside. They have together become unprofitable. There is none who does good, no, not one. Their throat is an open tomb.

With their tongues they have practiced deceit. The poison of asps is under their lips. whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood. Destruction and misery are in their ways, and the way of peace they have not known." And then as a summary statement of these summary statements, he says in verse 18, there is no fear of God before their eyes.

That's what characterizes That is the nature of man or woman in Adam. There is no fear of God before their eyes. They don't relate rightly to him by grace alone, through faith alone in Christ alone. If you turn back to the prophet Jeremiah, you will see that

Fear of the Lord as Covenant Gift

this fear of the Lord is not natural. This fear of the Lord is not native. This fear of the Lord is not provoked by our own free will. We can't just wake up on a Thursday and say, you know what?

My life is a mess. I need to start fearing God. No, it is a new covenant blessing. Remember, man, woman, boy, girl, dead in their trespasses and sins, cannot make positive overtures toward God.

We are recipients of sovereign grace. If you notice in the prophet Jeremiah chapter 32, a promise concerning the new covenant, we read in verse 40, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from doing them good, but I will put my fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from me. So I will, or yes, I will rejoice over them to do them good. And I will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and with all my soul.

Probably where John Newton got the statement was grace that taught my heart to fear. So when we read in Proverbs chapter 31 that this woman fears the Lord, we know she's a recipient of God's grace. And when God gives us grace, according to Ephesians chapter 2, we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2.8, For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. So this woman that fears the Lord, it's because God in His grace has saved her. And before we move on, this is something each and every one of us ought to ponder. We ought to ask ourselves the question, do I fear the Lord?

Not am I afraid of the judgment to come. Not am I afraid of hellfire forever, having sinned against a thrice holy God. Not am I afraid that the things that I want to do in my life might be providentially hindered by God, but the fear of the Lord captures the sentiment of a heart that has been conquered by sovereign grace. The fear of the Lord is what is indicative of a man, of a woman, of a boy, of a girl that is rightly related to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

There's a statement in the Book of Acts concerning churches in a particular region. It says they continued in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Those things aren't at odds with one another. It is the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit that characterize the churches in that particular region.

And so before we move on, whether you're a woman, whether you're a mother, whether you're a man or a father or a husband, or whether you're single, whatever your particular station is, ask yourself the question, do I fear God? Have I, by God's grace, been conquered? Have I looked unto the Lord Jesus Christ? Do I know something of what it is to be found in Him?

Not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that righteousness which is from Him, received by faith alone. Do I know what it is to be forgiven of my sins? Do I know what it is to have my sins cleansed in the precious blood of the Lord Jesus Christ? If the answers to these are no, then I've got a simple piece of advice or encouragement.

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Look to Him in whom alone there is salvation. For just as Moses lifted up the serpent, so must the Son of Man also be lifted up. Well, when that serpent was lifted, it was a look and a live.

With Christ lifted up on the cross, it is a look and a live. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Turn from your sin and know the joy of being in Christ Jesus. If you're in the New Testament, you can turn to Titus chapter 2.

Titus chapter 2, where the apostle tells Titus on how to instruct the church. And interestingly, it's not moralism. It's not just a principle for do-goodery. It is principles that are virtuous in the sight of a thrice-holy God, but tethered to the gospel of our salvation.

So note specifically in Titus chapter 2 at verse 4. Well, picking up at verse three, the older women likewise, that they may be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given a much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish, note, the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blaspheme. So teach the older men their responsibilities, teach the older women their responsibilities, one of them being instructing the younger women. He then mentions young men in verses 6 to 8 and bond servants in verses 9 and 10.

And then notice how verse 11 begins. Again, this isn't moralism, this isn't just do good things and hopefully at the end you'll get your prize. No, verse 11 says, for the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself his own special people, zealous for good works." It's tethered to gospel truth. In other words, you're saved by grace, not because you are good, but that now by grace and the presence of the power of the Spirit, you may pursue those things that are pleasing in the sight of God.

So back to Proverbs 31, her condition before God, she is saved by grace, but as well, a woman who fears the Lord indicates that

Walking with the Lord in Fear

she walks with the Lord. If you turn back to Proverbs chapter three, specifically at verse seven, Proverbs chapter three, verse seven, do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. How do we depart from evil? By fearing the Lord.

That's inextricable. Notice in Proverbs 8.13, Proverbs 8.13, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance in the evil way, and the perverse mouth I hate. 14.26, 14.26. In the fear of the Lord, there is strong confidence and his children will have a place of refuge. And then in 1923, notice this isn't specifically for the Christian mother.

It's for those who fear the Lord, those who have been conquered by grace, those who by grace have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and know the joy of Christ as their salvation. 1923, the fear of the Lord leads to life and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. So that this woman fears the Lord indicates that, one, she's saved by grace, and two, she walks by grace in conformity as far as she is able with the law of God, empowered by the Holy Spirit. And I want to encourage the ladies amongst us that it's not just men who need to study the Bible and theology.

Well, my husband does all that. My husband knows these things. My husband is the theologian in the family. It's not just the man who needs to study the Bible and be spiritually minded, but women too.

How do we provoke or promote, rather, the fear of the Lord in our hearts? But by knowing that Lord, by understanding that Lord, by getting our minds wrapped around the doctrine of justification by faith alone, by understanding the eternal relations of origin that distinguish the persons of the Godhead, by understanding the eternal generation of the Son, we need to know these things as we are to walk in the fear of the Lord. a faithful and consistent devotional life, spiritual maturity, and an understanding of the Bible and sound theology, our confession is a great help in this regard, will be invaluable for you in your task as a mother. You can be able to answer kids' questions if you're always saying, well, I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm not saying you're John Calvin. I'm not saying any of us men fathers are John Calvin, but we should be able to answer questions concerning Scripture and theology to our children. So her condition before God, she's saved by grace, she walks with the Lord.

Her Influence Over Her Children

Secondly, her influence over her children. Her influence over her children. Before we get to her authority and her responsibility, her influence. Where does a child learn everything? from the mother and the father.

I'm supposing, you know, both parents are active in this particular role, but generally speaking, the normal path is that children, especially when they're little, spend the bulk of their time with their mothers. It's a very high calling. And one of the things that should really grieve us about the culture's war with biblical truth, there is no higher calling than motherhood. There is no higher calling than motherhood.

This day and age, however, if somebody would ask you, what do you do? Well, I take care of my children. That's it. That's it.

That's everything. And it's far more taxing than just about every other job out there. You're always on call. You don't ever get fully rest.

You got to be able at the drop of a pin to do just about anything and everything. It is a high calling, and it shouldn't surprise us that the devil and the world actuated by him sees as one of its targets, motherhood. Feminism has hurt culture. It certainly has not helped culture one bit.

It is ungodly, it is anti-Christian, it is unbiblical, and it is from the pit. God condones, God approves, God sanctions, and God speaks to with great vigor the duties of motherhood. So

The Fifth Commandment and Maternal Influence

her influence over her children is seen in the fifth word, the fifth commandment, honor your father and your mother. Coordinate, compound object. Honor your father, and if he drops dead, well, then possibly your mother. No.

Turn to Leviticus 19.3. Leviticus 19.3. Mother actually comes first in Leviticus 19.3. Again, it's compound object.

It's not that there's gradation. It's not that there's more importance on the one or the other. I'm just trying to show that both of them have equal influence and authority over their children. Leviticus 19.3, every one of you shall revere his mother and his father and keep my Sabbaths.

I am the Lord your God. And then turn to Deuteronomy chapter 21, probably not the most encouraging place to turn to, but I think it illustrates the point. Deuteronomy 21, specifically verses 18 to 21. If a man has a stubborn, this is the execution of the incorrigible son.

Again, not a happy topic on a Sunday night. This isn't something... Happy Mother's Day, by the way. But I want you to see the mother's influence in the life of her child.

And in this instance, the child isn't two. He's not being brought to the elders of the city to be stoned because he threw peas on the floor, or he didn't eat his broccoli, or he, you know, looked cross-eyed at his mom or his sister. This is an adult rebel son. He's a drunkard and he's a glutton.

He is not responding to parental pressure in a context of love. Thus, when he gets out of that context of love, he is not going to be trained, or he is not gonna be trained, a bull rather, to be a faithful contributor in society. So notice in 2118, if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father, notice, or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, This is a couple committed to the use of the means. This isn't some arbitrary, capricious activity on the part of Old Covenant Israel.

Just throw them over to the elders and have them stone him. The text bespeaks a long time of parental involvement. Again, he's an adult rebel son. The supposition is that prior to getting to that point of adult rebel son, when he was a young rebel son, they chastened him.

They exercise that pressure. They did it in the context of love. "...who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them than his father and his mother." It's not one of those things, you know, honey, I'm going to take him to the elders of the city and I'm going to have him taken care of. No, honey, baby, don't do that.

No, the mother's right there involved. The mother sees, the mother understands, the mother realizes there's no remedial training for this one anymore. Again, it's a horrifying situation, but brethren, if in the context of love, this young man cannot be prevailed upon, It's gonna be a big problem in civil society. Then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city.

And they shall say to the elders of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city.

And again, I don't think he got hammered one night and he ate too much another night. I don't think that's it. He's not being executed for being a glutton and a drunkard. These are symptoms of his problem.

He's a rebel against God and against his parents, the authority that God has placed in his life. The supposition is he ain't gonna do well with the elders. He ain't gonna do well in a job. He ain't gonna do well anywhere he goes.

If he can't be prevailed upon by his parents, he's not gonna be prevailed upon by a boss. It's just the way it is. Now, how often did that happen? I don't know.

Did it ever happen? I don't know. But there's legislation addressing it in the eventuality that it did occur. And again, showing the equal influence of mother along with father in that young man's life.

And as I said earlier, sisters and brothers, we can't convert our kids. Don't you wish you could? Haven't you ever thought, you know, I'd like to die and go to, not necessarily die, I'd like to be translated right now, preferably without a whole lot of pain, but translated right now, but the things that you really want to see is the conversion of your children and your grandchildren. You want to see them justified freely by God's grace.

Well, we can't do that, but we can pray to a God who is gracious. We can pray to a God who is faithful. We can pray to a God who sent the son of his love into this world, sinners to save. But in spite of the fact that we can't save them, we can exercise influence on them in such a way that they're not nightmares for future employers. that they're not nightmares for future spouses, that they're not nightmares for the future society that they participate in.

Again, we can't convert them, we can't change them, we can't make them God-fearers, but we can, by the means God's ordained, seek to restrain them. And that becomes imperative in the lives of God's people relative to their children and their grandchildren. Yes, I can't save you, but I can keep you from doing these sorts of foolish things, engaging in this manner of rebellion, this manner of lawlessness. And in Old Covenant Israel, this was the final step.

Take him to the elders of the city, report his particular crimes, turn him over to them, and then the execution comes.

Proverbs on the Mother's Instruction

With reference to influence, look at Proverbs chapter one. Proverbs chapter one, specifically at verse eight. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Proverbs chapter six, verse 20.

Earlier, I mentioned that ladies need to know the Bible. They need to know theology. The woman in Proverbs is assumed to know Bible and theology. She's able to explain why the exodus.

She's able to explain the book of Judges. She's able, again, not perfectly, not commentary-like, but for her children and their benefit. Proverbs 6, 20, my son, keep your father's command and do not forsake the law of your mother. And then our own chapter 31.

Way before we get to the virtuous woman and her description, Proverbs 31.1, the words of King Lemuel, the utterance, notice, which his mother taught him. Spurgeon made the observation, fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. Brethren as Baptists, we ought not to swing the pendulum so far in our arguments against paedobaptism to not appreciate that oftentimes, not every time, but oftentimes God does save in families. A husband and a wife get converted, they start to take seriously the scripture, they start to teach their children the law and the gospel, and lo and behold, God saves them.

Now, there's certainly of us that have come out of situations where we didn't have believing parents and God nevertheless saved us. But the hope is, the prayer is, the desire is, is that the families in the church, the husbands and the wives that are faithfully serving the Lord, fearing God, are going to instruct their children. And the hope is, is that those children will, by grace, believe the gospel. So, in our, again, polemics against paedo-baptism, let's not reject the idea that God does oftentimes work in families.

It's a beautiful and a blessed thing. It's a great thing when a husband and a wife get converted, their children benefit. They get the gospel. So back to Spurgeon.

Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's blot.

Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. How can I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent. Others might not think so, but they certainly were eloquent to me.

How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms about my neck prayed, oh, that my son might live before thee? And I've quoted it before, when Napoleon was asked, what could be done to restore the prestige of France? He says, give us better mothers. I would suggest the spiritual Israel has that cry as well, accepting all of you, because you're wonderful mothers to your children.

But we need that kind of influence in the lives of our little ones. This is, I don't, yeah. Well, I'll say it's one of the most important things that we give to our kids. a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. He may not have, you know, bank vaults filled with gold, but if he brings that gospel, he brings that truth, He demonstrates the glory of God in the context of Scripture and points those little sinners unto Jesus Christ.

That's an inheritance for children and their children beyond them.

Her Authority Over Her Children

Thirdly, her authority over her children. Again, Exodus chapter 20, the fifth commandment, and Paul's words in Ephesians 6. Fathers, do not provoke your children, but... I'm sorry.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise. The commandment establishes parental authority. Leviticus 19.3 establishes parental authority.

One dictionary says honoring both parents is at the heart of the 10 commandments. And the mother comes first in the command to respect, literally fear them as part of national holiness, Leviticus 19.13. So the father and the mother need to be heeded and obeyed. Look at Proverbs 15.20.

Proverbs 15.20. So her influence and now her authority. Proverbs 15.20. A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. 19.26. 19.26.

He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Look at 20.20. 20, 20, whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. Again, she's not an afterthought. She has authority over the children. 23, 22, listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Buy the truth and do not sell it. Also wisdom and instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice." Let her who bore you rejoice, not lament, not grief, not sorrow, not feel pain.

There's a book on the Ten Commandments by a Dutch theologian named Douma or Douma. My Dutch pronunciation's off tonight. It's either Douma or Douma, D-O-U-M-A, and you're all saying it's Douma. Some of you might be saying it's Douma.

He says, mentioning the mother is no afterthought, for she deserves to be treated with as much respect as the father. Practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her word. Especially when the young man hits puberty and he's a foot taller than his mother. It happens, right?

Well, I think it happens. Sometimes young men assert themselves and it's not wrong. Testosterone does that to a man. It's a good thing.

It's a bad thing when it's directed against the mother. It's a terrible thing. It's a vicious thing. It's a vile thing.

It's not bad to have testosterone, but it's good to direct it in the right direction. He goes on to say, she is physically the weaker parent, but the fifth commandment clearly requires respect for both father and mother. Children must honor their mother even when she is physically or physiologically declining. Do not despise your mother when she is old, Proverbs 23, 22.

The Bible presents a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband takes the lead. but children must show equal honor to both mother and father. Her authority right there, grounded in the fifth commandment, grounded in Paul's admonition to the children in Ephesus, Gentile children under the fifth commandment because of its trans-covenantal application must obey their parents and the Lord for this is right and honor your father and your mother for this is the first commandment with promise.

Her Responsibility Toward Her Children

And then finally her responsibility toward her children. her responsibility toward her children to instruct. We've already seen several passages in Proverbs that indicate that. You need to teach them. You need to teach them the law.

This is what God demands. This is what God says. And this is the gospel for when you inevitably fail. You may not have to say it just like that, but make sure you don't create legalists and Pharisees.

Those who think that scripture is all about moralism and externalism. Now point them to the cross, point them to that fountain that is open for sin and uncleanness, point them to Jesus Christ in whom alone there is salvation. With reference to instruction, the Proverbs are clear, but as well to set an example for her children, to set an example for her children. And this applies to husbands and fathers as well.

Listen to Bridges on Proverbs 22.6. He says, The mere talk to a child about religion, without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits and self-willed tempers, is utterly ineffective. None of us lives to himself alone. We are all spreading around us an influence, whether for good or for evil.

Here, therefore, in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other, beckoning with the hand to heaven, and at the same time taking him by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? A child learns more by the eye than by the ear.

Imitation is a far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery in parental example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, if that was too much, email me.

I will clip it, paste it, and send it right back to you. Better buy Bridges on Proverbs. His stuff on child rearing is gold, brethren. It is wonderful.

It is helpful. So the necessity to instruct, but the necessity to exemplify. Now, this is never going to be perfect. You're not gonna be wholly harmless and undefiled.

If your homes are like our home, that's not gonna happen. But faithfulness and consistency. So in terms of a responsibility to instruct her children, to set an example for her children, thirdly, to discipline her children, to discipline her children. Remember that thing I said a few minutes ago, we can't convert them, but hopefully we can exercise loving pressure on them in such a way that they don't end up having to be handed over to the elders of a city to be executed.

Discipline, verbal reproof, verbal reproof. The verbal reproof in view is not belittling, it's not shouting, it's not screaming, it's not manipulation. Colossians 3.21, the apostle says, fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. The job is not to discourage your children.

Again, this probably is going to affect all of us and say, I do that very thing a lot. Never forget, there is a fountain open for sin and uncleanness. Never forget, we have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ, the righteous. But we, by the grace of God, filled with the Spirit of God, are supposed to pursue what is pleasing in God's sight.

Discipline: Verbal and Corporal

The necessity to engage in corporal punishment of sinful children. Now, I've always got to give the qualification because of our God-hating society, do this discreetly. Do this wisely. Don't do this in Walmart.

All right, kid, it's time to get your lickings. Don't do that, you're gonna end up in jail. You're gonna have your children taken away from you. A thing that is very offensive to the God-hating is that we actually love our children enough to discipline them.

See, Solomon tells us that he who spares the rod is the man who hates his child. I've shared it before, little autobiography. I knew that in my own experience. As a young man growing up, I was allowed to do things by my father that were looked at by my friends.

And they said, oh, that's cool. Your dad let you do that. I never thought it was cool. I thought if he loved me, he wouldn't let me do this stuff.

I do think he loved me. This isn't a therapy session, by the way. I'm not going to start crying and kiddo my dad. But I understood fundamentally what Solomon says when I was a young teenager because of the lack of parental discipline.

I didn't think it was cool that I could do that. I thought, he shouldn't let me do that. So much to the chagrin of the world around us, to discipline your children means you hate them. No, Solomon says to not discipline them means you hate them.

He who hates his son doesn't discipline. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. So you gotta be wise, you gotta be cunning, you gotta be righteous in this, and you gotta remember what Bridges says elsewhere. The rod without affection is revolting tyranny.

The rod without affection is revolting tyranny. This isn't abuse, this isn't I'm gonna hurt you. Read the Proverbs, I'll list them off. Proverbs 13, 24, 19, 18, 20, 30, 22, 15, 23, 13, and 14, 29, 15, and 29, 17.

There's a lot there, why? Because Solomon doesn't want his sons or his son's sons to end up like that incorrigible son in Deuteronomy chapter 21, 18 to 21. You can't convert that, but by the grace of God, you're gonna do everything you can to restrain those passions. Verbal reproof, corporal discipline.

And then ultimately, in terms of her responsibility toward her children, we already saw it in Titus chapter two. Titus chapter two, and I wanna end on this note and then just a couple of thoughts in conclusion. But in Titus chapter two, what's the older woman to teach the younger women? That, verse four, they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to love their children.

That's the context for everything that precedes in the sermon. A faithful Christian mother loves her children. And because she loves her children, she's going to do what God says in terms of her responsibility. She will seek by the grace of God to execute those things in a way that brings honor to him and brings genuine good to her.

Application

Now, just some concluding thoughts. I would suggest first the need for such women. Again, I'm not suggesting that you ladies aren't those women, but I think broader. Our local church, other churches, society at large.

I've actually seen an interesting trend where, you know, some ladies are posting videos on Twitter and saying things like, I don't want feminism. I hate feminism. I want a husband. I want children.

I want to bake sourdough. I mean, that's just thrown out there for the cultural reference here, but that's encouraging. People are seeing the bankruptcy and the folly of inverting God's created order. It doesn't work.

I'm trying to sound like a pragmatist here, but it doesn't work. When you flip society on its head, when you put women at the top of the food chain, when you put men subservient, you're inverting God's created order. When you're teaching young ladies that you don't need a man, that's contrary to what God says. That doesn't mean every woman always needs a man.

I get it. There are singles, there are exceptions, and that's the way it goes. And bless God for that. There's a large percentage of persons, however, that a woman does need a man.

A man does need a woman. In God's zany universe, it just seems to work out well that way. We compliment each other. We love each other.

We help each other. It's a great gift. And when man in sin sees this great gift, he balks at it, he mocks it, he suggests that there's better ways. I'd say that trend toward anti-feminism is a better way to go.

But in terms of the need for such women, listen to Luther. He said, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect confidence. Bruce Waltke on the Proverbs says, the rhetorical question, who can find, that's how it starts off if you look at Proverbs 31, specifically at verse 10, who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above Ruby's. He says the rhetorical question, who can find, aims to awaken within the audience the desire to find such a wife or to be like her.

Matthew Henry says this description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose. Young men looking for a wife? Read Proverbs 31. 10 to 31. To the women, pursue this.

Breaching through 1 Samuel years ago, 1 Samuel chapter 17. You remember the scene, Goliath, the giant from the Philistines comes out and he's gonna taunt the armies of the living God. Where do we see Saul and the troops before David's arrival? They're hiding, they're cowering, they're fearful.

They don't wanna go up against Goliath, he's a big man. David says, who is this uncircumcised that defies the army of the living God? And I make the observation, do you want to be David or Saul? Hiding and cowering in fear over a godless Philistine?

Or do you want to be David? We all kind of hopefully read that story and say, man, I'd rather be David in that scenario than I'd rather be Saul, right? Well, do you want to be the kind of woman that does what God says? or the kind of woman that throws off what God says. I'd like to think everybody here wants to be the kind of woman that God says to be.

And then as far as men, pursue this kind of woman. And remember that this kind of woman is a gift given by God. If you look at Proverbs chapter 12, Proverbs chapter 12, specifically at verse four, an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18, verse 22. Proverbs 18, 22. He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Much different than the mantra we hear in our generation about men never get married because they'll only ruin your lives.

Women never get married because they'll only ruin your lives. What a horrible experiences. I mean, all of our marriages have their challenges. All of our marriages, you know, they're not wholly harmless and undefiled, no jot and tittle of any issues, whatever.

But man, it's great. No better thing. But with reference to this particular section, it's an emphasis that it's a gift given by God. Look at 1914.

Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. So the need for such women.

Exhortation to Faithful Mothers

I would suggest, secondly, an exhortation to such women. You must maintain dependence upon God. A woman who fears the Lord. It's a tough job you have.

You're not going to do it in your own strength and with your own grit and determination. It's going to be dependence upon the Lord. As well, you must not forsake God's word in child-rearing for the latest craze in the world. God's word is God's word even at the point of how to raise children.

I'm not suggesting we can't learn tips and helpful things from general revelation. I am not suggesting that at all. I would suggest just the opposite. General revelation is a good teacher in this regard.

But general revelation isn't made to be in combat with special revelation. And if somebody finds the latest thing on how to most help your child, but it's contrary to the word of God, always side with the word of God. Always take God's word. I would suggest you must realize that your task is difficult, oftentimes thankless, and mostly underappreciated by just about everyone.

Say, that makes me feel good. It's true. But it's a blessing. You must persevere in your calling and realize that the calling you have under God is full-time, multifaceted, that is of the utmost importance.

I hope you don't have those, you know, a calendar or those, what do they call those paper chains? You're pulling one off for each day they get closer to 18. It's the long haul, sisters. faithfulness and perseverance, constancy, dependence upon God, repentance when necessary. You must labor to understand God's truth, the law and the gospel, and you must continually set forth that truth before your children.

And it doesn't have to be in a formal setting. Okay, juniors, sit down. I'm gonna give you a three-point Spurgeon sermon. What's the principle that we see in Deuteronomy chapter six? when you rise up, when you walk by the way, when you lay down.

In other words, you're speaking God's truth to them in all contexts. You're at the zoo and you see the giraffe and you say, isn't that interesting how God made the giraffe with a long neck like that so he can get the leaves up top. Isn't that interesting the way that tiger eats animals? You bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ in your instruction of them.

You must guard against laziness. And I say this knowing that none of you struggle with this ever, but I think it should be said because in Proverbs 31, 27, it says, she watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Does not eat the bread of idleness. That means that if there's laziness, you need to repent.

Your children need your instruction. They need your example. They need your guidance. They need all that you are for them and to them.

And hopefully, husbands, you're listening, hearing about how difficult this is, and you're being a good and faithful man to try to give her some help and assistance and some time for herself. And then you must demonstrate fidelity to God's truth through obedience and through repentance when you sin. We're all going to sin against our children. It just happens.

So what do we do? Do we harden our necks? Oh no, that wasn't me. I didn't sin.

No, you ask for forgiveness. I think that teaches children what the gospel is all about. I'm not perfect. I'm thinking in terms of Proverbs 28, that whoever covers his transgression will not prosper, but the one who confesses and forsakes it will find mercy.

So you confess your sins to your son, to your daughter. I shouldn't have done that. I lost my ever-loving mind. Please forgive me, you know, junior.

Typically, at least in my experience, children are very gracious and very forgiving. And then the encouragement. If you look back at Proverbs 31, notice the encouragement she gets from her husband. The encouragement she gets, maybe I should say it this way, the encouragement she should get from her husband.

Verse 28b, her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Don't assume that because she's good at what she's doing, she doesn't need any encouragement. Don't assume that because she seems to have mastered her task, that she doesn't need a little shot of encouragement once in a while.

The husband here says, many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Don't be afraid to praise your wife for a good job well done. Notice from her children, the first part of verse 28, her children rise up and call her blessed. Brethren, that may take some years, But by God's grace, it'll happen.

From her community, look at 31b, and let her own works praise her in the gates. But the most important comes from God Almighty for having done her task, not so that she may be saved, but by God's grace, she is saved for this particular calling, she will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to all who serve him faithfully. May you be encouraged and exhorted, hopefully there was no clobbering and no coddling, and may God indeed bless the families in our church, the parents, the grandparents, and as we seek to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Let us pray.

Closing Prayer

Our Father in heaven, thank you for your word. Thank you for what we find here in this description of the virtuous woman. I pray for my sisters in this local body that you would continue to encourage them, cause them to walk in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit. And God, we do yearn to see our children called out of darkness into marvelous light.

We pray that you would be merciful to our young people, to our children, to the babies, to the baby in the womb. We pray that in your mercy and in your grace, you would be well pleased to save to the uttermost those in this congregation. And we pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

We'll stand and sing 568.

Scripture References

• Leviticus 19:3
• Deuteronomy 4; 6; 21:18-21
• Ruth 3:11
• 1 Samuel 17
• Proverbs 1:8; 3:7; 6:20; 8:13; 12:4; 13:24; 14:26; 15:20; 18:22; 19:14; 19:18; 19:23; 19:26; 20:20; 20:30; 22:15; 23:13-14; 23:22; 28:13; 29:15; 29:17; 31:1; 31:10-31; 31:27; 31:28; 31:31
• Song of Solomon 5:10-16
• Jeremiah 32:40
• Romans 1:18; 3:9; 3:18
• Ephesians 2:8-10; 6:1-2
• Colossians 3:21
• Titus 2:3-14