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Turn with me in your Bibles to 
the book of Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs 31, I'll read verses 
10 to 31. Beginning now, who can find a 
virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely 
trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good 
and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and 
flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant 
ships. She brings her food from afar. 
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her 
household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a 
field and buys it. From a profit, she plants a vineyard. 
She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She 
perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not 
go out by night. She stretches out her hands to 
the distaff and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her 
hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands 
to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for 
her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She 
makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and 
purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among 
the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and 
sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and 
honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to 
come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the 
law of kindness. She watches over the ways of 
her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children 
rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises 
her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty 
is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her 
hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. Amen. Well, 
let us pray. Father in heaven, we thank you 
for this day. We thank you for the blessed 
privilege to gather for corporate worship. We pray that the Holy 
Spirit would guide our thoughts now as we consider sections of 
Proverbs and other portions of the Scripture. We thank you that 
all Scripture is given by inspiration of God. It's literally God-breathed. 
We know it's profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, 
and for instruction in righteousness. We pray that You would thoroughly 
furnish us unto every good work, that You would cause us to be 
faithful in this present evil age. We know there are many assaults 
and attacks against the truth as we find it in the Scriptures. We know there is a great revolt 
against traditional family, against motherhood, against fatherhood, 
all these things, God, we pray that nevertheless we would seek 
by the Spirit of God to be faithful as you call us to be according 
to our high calling in the gospel of our salvation. Do forgive 
us now for all of our sins and unrighteousness, and we ask this 
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Well, Proverbs 31 verses 
10 to 31 is a very familiar portion of scripture. I hope that all 
of the ladies here are familiar with it, and all of the husbands 
are too, so that we can make sure everything's being done 
properly. Just kidding. But it describes the virtuous 
wife. It's actually an alphabetic acrostic 
in Hebrew. So it's a carefully put together 
piece of scripture. Interestingly, in the Hebrew 
canon, the way that the Jews put the Old Testament together, 
It's the same content, the same books, but with reference to 
the order, we see some differences. And Ruth follows the book of 
Proverbs. And in that, or rather, yeah, 
Ruth follows Proverbs in the Hebrew canon, and it provides 
a great illustration of the virtuous wife. In Ruth 3 at verse 11, 
we read, and now my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you 
all that you request for all the people of my town know that 
you are a virtuous woman. So Ruth exemplifies the sorts 
of things that we see here in Proverbs 31, verses 10 to 31. This won't be strictly expositional 
in the sense that we're gonna go through every jot and tittle. 
I wanna just give an overview and some thoughts. And then, 
as I said, look at other portions of scripture. But if we look 
at chapter 31, verses 10 to 31, we see first of all the Christian 
woman, just a woman in general. We see that she's diligent, according 
to verse 13. We see that she's spiritually 
minded, according to verse 30. And we see that she's self-controlled, 
according to verse 26. With reference to this woman 
as she functions as a wife, she is trustworthy. Notice in verse 
11, the heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will 
have no lack of gain. As well, she does good to her 
husband. She's not a curse upon him. She 
is not something that he would prefer to live out in the wilderness 
or rather have water dripping on his head, but she is a blessing. Verse 12, she does him good and 
not evil all the days of her life. So Solomon addresses those 
particular things with reference to this virtuous woman, as a 
Christian woman, as a Christian wife, but then I wanna consider 
the Christian mother. And there's four observations, 
again, from here and elsewhere in the Bible. First, her condition 
before God. Secondly, her influence over 
her children. Thirdly, her authority over her 
children. And then fourthly and finally, 
her responsibility toward her children. Now, as mothers, you 
cannot save your children. As mothers, you cannot convert 
them. As mothers, you cannot make them Christians. But as 
mothers, through example and through instruction, you can 
point them to the Lord of glory. You can point them to that one 
described in the Song of Solomon as altogether lovely and chief 
among 10,000. In our studies in the book of Deuteronomy, in 
Deuteronomy chapter 4, on the plains of Moab, Moses exhorts 
the children of God to be faithful as parents to instruct their 
children and their grandchildren. And Moses sets before them the 
Exodus. And the Exodus is that great 
redemptive work of God wherein he liberated the children of 
Israel out of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. So in other 
words, parents in old covenant Israel were to instruct their 
children on the redeeming power of God most high. Parents in 
the New Covenant Israel ought to be pointing them to the Lord 
Jesus Christ, showing them what scripture says concerning salvation 
by grace alone, through faith alone in Christ alone. So first, 
her condition before God. Notice specifically in verse 
31. I'm sorry, verse 30. Charm is deceitful and beauty 
is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. So as we look at that phrase, 
a woman who fears the Lord, we can conclude two things. One, 
she is saved by grace, and two, she walks with the Lord. We know 
that she is saved by grace because one characteristic of the unconverted, 
whether she's a woman or whether he's a man, is that there is 
no fear of God before their eyes. In fact, you can turn to the 
book of Romans in Romans chapter 3, just establishing her condition 
before the Lord. She is a saved woman. Notice 
in Romans chapter three, the section begins in chapter one, 
verse 18, for the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against 
all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth 
and unrighteousness. And then Paul indicts the Gentiles 
in chapter one, he indicts the Jews in chapter two, and then 
he brings to summation what he has said in chapter three. Notice 
in verse nine, what then? Are we better than they? No, 
or not at all. For we have previously charged 
both Jews and Greeks that they are all under sin. As it is written, 
there is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands. 
There is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside. 
They have together become unprofitable. There is none who does good, 
no, not one. Their throat is an open tomb. 
With their tongues they have practiced deceit. The poison 
of asps is under their lips. whose mouth is full of cursing 
and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed 
blood. Destruction and misery are in their ways, and the way 
of peace they have not known." And then as a summary statement 
of these summary statements, he says in verse 18, there is 
no fear of God before their eyes. That's what characterizes That 
is the nature of man or woman in Adam. There is no fear of 
God before their eyes. They don't relate rightly to 
him by grace alone, through faith alone in Christ alone. If you 
turn back to the prophet Jeremiah, you will see that this fear of 
the Lord is not natural. This fear of the Lord is not 
native. This fear of the Lord is not 
provoked by our own free will. We can't just wake up on a Thursday 
and say, you know what? My life is a mess. I need to 
start fearing God. No, it is a new covenant blessing. 
Remember, man, woman, boy, girl, dead in their trespasses and 
sins, cannot make positive overtures toward God. We are recipients 
of sovereign grace. If you notice in the prophet 
Jeremiah chapter 32, a promise concerning the new covenant, 
we read in verse 40, and I will make an everlasting covenant 
with them that I will not turn away from doing them good, but 
I will put my fear in their hearts so that they will not depart 
from me. So I will, or yes, I will rejoice over them to do them 
good. And I will assuredly plant them in this land with all my 
heart and with all my soul. Probably where John Newton got 
the statement was grace that taught my heart to fear. So when we read in Proverbs chapter 
31 that this woman fears the Lord, we know she's a recipient 
of God's grace. And when God gives us grace, 
according to Ephesians chapter 2, we believe on the Lord Jesus 
Christ. Ephesians 2.8, For by grace you 
have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it 
is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For 
we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, 
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 
So this woman that fears the Lord, it's because God in His 
grace has saved her. And before we move on, this is 
something each and every one of us ought to ponder. We ought 
to ask ourselves the question, do I fear the Lord? Not am I 
afraid of the judgment to come. Not am I afraid of hellfire forever, 
having sinned against a thrice holy God. Not am I afraid that 
the things that I want to do in my life might be providentially 
hindered by God, but the fear of the Lord captures the sentiment 
of a heart that has been conquered by sovereign grace. The fear 
of the Lord is what is indicative of a man, of a woman, of a boy, 
of a girl that is rightly related to God through Jesus Christ our 
Lord. There's a statement in the Book of Acts concerning churches 
in a particular region. It says they continued in the 
fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Those things 
aren't at odds with one another. It is the fear of the Lord and 
the comfort of the Holy Spirit that characterize the churches 
in that particular region. And so before we move on, whether 
you're a woman, whether you're a mother, whether you're a man 
or a father or a husband, or whether you're single, whatever 
your particular station is, ask yourself the question, do I fear 
God? Have I, by God's grace, been 
conquered? Have I looked unto the Lord Jesus 
Christ? Do I know something of what it 
is to be found in Him? Not having my own righteousness, 
which is from the law, but that righteousness which is from Him, 
received by faith alone. Do I know what it is to be forgiven 
of my sins? Do I know what it is to have 
my sins cleansed in the precious blood of the Lord Jesus Christ? 
If the answers to these are no, then I've got a simple piece 
of advice or encouragement. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. 
Look to Him in whom alone there is salvation. For just as Moses 
lifted up the serpent, so must the Son of Man also be lifted 
up. Well, when that serpent was lifted, it was a look and a live. 
With Christ lifted up on the cross, it is a look and a live. 
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Turn from your sin and know the 
joy of being in Christ Jesus. If you're in the New Testament, 
you can turn to Titus chapter 2. Titus chapter 2, where the 
apostle tells Titus on how to instruct the church. And interestingly, 
it's not moralism. It's not just a principle for 
do-goodery. It is principles that are virtuous 
in the sight of a thrice-holy God, but tethered to the gospel 
of our salvation. So note specifically in Titus 
chapter 2 at verse 4. Well, picking up at verse three, 
the older women likewise, that they may be reverent in behavior, 
not slanderers, not given a much wine, teachers of good things, 
that they admonish, note, the young women to love their husbands, 
to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, 
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not 
be blaspheme. So teach the older men their 
responsibilities, teach the older women their responsibilities, 
one of them being instructing the younger women. He then mentions 
young men in verses 6 to 8 and bond servants in verses 9 and 
10. And then notice how verse 11 begins. Again, this isn't 
moralism, this isn't just do good things and hopefully at 
the end you'll get your prize. No, verse 11 says, for the grace 
of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching 
us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts we should live 
soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for 
the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and 
Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us, that he might 
redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself his 
own special people, zealous for good works." It's tethered to 
gospel truth. In other words, you're saved 
by grace, not because you are good, but that now by grace and 
the presence of the power of the Spirit, you may pursue those 
things that are pleasing in the sight of God. So back to Proverbs 
31, her condition before God, she is saved by grace, but as 
well, a woman who fears the Lord indicates that she walks with 
the Lord. If you turn back to Proverbs 
chapter three, specifically at verse seven, Proverbs chapter 
three, verse seven, do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the 
Lord and depart from evil. How do we depart from evil? By 
fearing the Lord. That's inextricable. Notice in Proverbs 8.13, Proverbs 
8.13, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance 
in the evil way, and the perverse mouth I hate. 14.26, 14.26. In the fear of the Lord, there 
is strong confidence and his children will have a place of 
refuge. And then in 1923, notice this 
isn't specifically for the Christian mother. It's for those who fear 
the Lord, those who have been conquered by grace, those who 
by grace have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and know the 
joy of Christ as their salvation. 1923, the fear of the Lord leads 
to life and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. He will 
not be visited with evil. So that this woman fears the 
Lord indicates that, one, she's saved by grace, and two, she 
walks by grace in conformity as far as she is able with the 
law of God, empowered by the Holy Spirit. And I want to encourage 
the ladies amongst us that it's not just men who need to study 
the Bible and theology. Well, my husband does all that. 
My husband knows these things. My husband is the theologian 
in the family. It's not just the man who needs 
to study the Bible and be spiritually minded, but women too. How do 
we provoke or promote, rather, the fear of the Lord in our hearts? But by knowing that Lord, by 
understanding that Lord, by getting our minds wrapped around the 
doctrine of justification by faith alone, by understanding 
the eternal relations of origin that distinguish the persons 
of the Godhead, by understanding the eternal generation of the 
Son, we need to know these things as we are to walk in the fear 
of the Lord. a faithful and consistent devotional 
life, spiritual maturity, and an understanding of the Bible 
and sound theology, our confession is a great help in this regard, 
will be invaluable for you in your task as a mother. You can 
be able to answer kids' questions if you're always saying, well, 
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not saying 
you're John Calvin. I'm not saying any of us men 
fathers are John Calvin, but we should be able to answer questions 
concerning Scripture and theology to our children. So her condition 
before God, she's saved by grace, she walks with the Lord. Secondly, 
her influence over her children. Her influence over her children. 
Before we get to her authority and her responsibility, her influence. Where does a child learn everything? from the mother and the father. I'm supposing, you know, both 
parents are active in this particular role, but generally speaking, 
the normal path is that children, especially when they're little, 
spend the bulk of their time with their mothers. It's a very 
high calling. And one of the things that should 
really grieve us about the culture's war with biblical truth, there 
is no higher calling than motherhood. There is no higher calling than 
motherhood. This day and age, however, if 
somebody would ask you, what do you do? Well, I take care 
of my children. That's it. That's it. That's everything. And it's far 
more taxing than just about every other job out there. You're always 
on call. You don't ever get fully rest. You got to be able at the drop 
of a pin to do just about anything and everything. It is a high 
calling, and it shouldn't surprise us that the devil and the world 
actuated by him sees as one of its targets, motherhood. Feminism 
has hurt culture. It certainly has not helped culture 
one bit. It is ungodly, it is anti-Christian, 
it is unbiblical, and it is from the pit. God condones, God approves, 
God sanctions, and God speaks to with great vigor the duties 
of motherhood. So her influence over her children 
is seen in the fifth word, the fifth commandment, honor your 
father and your mother. Coordinate, compound object. Honor your father, and if he 
drops dead, well, then possibly your mother. No. Turn to Leviticus 
19.3. Leviticus 19.3. Mother actually comes first in 
Leviticus 19.3. Again, it's compound object. 
It's not that there's gradation. It's not that there's more importance 
on the one or the other. I'm just trying to show that 
both of them have equal influence and authority over their children. 
Leviticus 19.3, every one of you shall revere his mother and 
his father and keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. And then turn to Deuteronomy 
chapter 21, probably not the most encouraging place to turn 
to, but I think it illustrates the point. Deuteronomy 21, specifically 
verses 18 to 21. If a man has a stubborn, this 
is the execution of the incorrigible son. Again, not a happy topic 
on a Sunday night. This isn't something... Happy 
Mother's Day, by the way. But I want you to see the mother's 
influence in the life of her child. And in this instance, 
the child isn't two. He's not being brought to the 
elders of the city to be stoned because he threw peas on the 
floor, or he didn't eat his broccoli, or he, you know, looked cross-eyed 
at his mom or his sister. This is an adult rebel son. He's 
a drunkard and he's a glutton. He is not responding to parental 
pressure in a context of love. Thus, when he gets out of that 
context of love, he is not going to be trained, or he is not gonna 
be trained, a bull rather, to be a faithful contributor in 
society. So notice in 2118, if a man has 
a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of 
his father, notice, or the voice of his mother, and who, when 
they have chastened him, This is a couple committed to the 
use of the means. This isn't some arbitrary, capricious 
activity on the part of Old Covenant Israel. Just throw them over 
to the elders and have them stone him. The text bespeaks a long 
time of parental involvement. Again, he's an adult rebel son. 
The supposition is that prior to getting to that point of adult 
rebel son, when he was a young rebel son, they chastened him. They exercise that pressure. 
They did it in the context of love. "...who, when they have 
chastened him, will not heed them than his father and his 
mother." It's not one of those things, you know, honey, I'm 
going to take him to the elders of the city and I'm going to 
have him taken care of. No, honey, baby, don't do that. 
No, the mother's right there involved. The mother sees, the 
mother understands, the mother realizes there's no remedial 
training for this one anymore. Again, it's a horrifying situation, 
but brethren, if in the context of love, this young man cannot 
be prevailed upon, It's gonna be a big problem in civil society. Then his father and his mother 
shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his 
city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders 
of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He 
will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. 
Then all the men of his city. And again, I don't think he got 
hammered one night and he ate too much another night. I don't 
think that's it. He's not being executed for being a glutton 
and a drunkard. These are symptoms of his problem. He's a rebel against God and 
against his parents, the authority that God has placed in his life. 
The supposition is he ain't gonna do well with the elders. He ain't 
gonna do well in a job. He ain't gonna do well anywhere 
he goes. If he can't be prevailed upon 
by his parents, he's not gonna be prevailed upon by a boss. 
It's just the way it is. Now, how often did that happen? 
I don't know. Did it ever happen? I don't know. 
But there's legislation addressing it in the eventuality that it 
did occur. And again, showing the equal 
influence of mother along with father in that young man's life. And as I said earlier, sisters 
and brothers, we can't convert our kids. Don't you wish you 
could? Haven't you ever thought, you 
know, I'd like to die and go to, not necessarily die, I'd 
like to be translated right now, preferably without a whole lot 
of pain, but translated right now, but the things that you 
really want to see is the conversion of your children and your grandchildren. You want to see them justified 
freely by God's grace. Well, we can't do that, but we 
can pray to a God who is gracious. We can pray to a God who is faithful. We can pray to a God who sent 
the son of his love into this world, sinners to save. But in 
spite of the fact that we can't save them, we can exercise influence 
on them in such a way that they're not nightmares for future employers. that they're not nightmares for 
future spouses, that they're not nightmares for the future 
society that they participate in. Again, we can't convert them, 
we can't change them, we can't make them God-fearers, but we 
can, by the means God's ordained, seek to restrain them. And that 
becomes imperative in the lives of God's people relative to their 
children and their grandchildren. Yes, I can't save you, but I 
can keep you from doing these sorts of foolish things, engaging 
in this manner of rebellion, this manner of lawlessness. And 
in Old Covenant Israel, this was the final step. Take him 
to the elders of the city, report his particular crimes, turn him 
over to them, and then the execution comes. With reference to influence, 
look at Proverbs chapter one. Proverbs chapter one, specifically 
at verse eight. My son, hear the instruction 
of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Proverbs 
chapter six, verse 20. Earlier, I mentioned that ladies 
need to know the Bible. They need to know theology. The 
woman in Proverbs is assumed to know Bible and theology. She's 
able to explain why the exodus. She's able to explain the book 
of Judges. She's able, again, not perfectly, 
not commentary-like, but for her children and their benefit. 
Proverbs 6, 20, my son, keep your father's command and do 
not forsake the law of your mother. And then our own chapter 31. 
Way before we get to the virtuous woman and her description, Proverbs 
31.1, the words of King Lemuel, the utterance, notice, which 
his mother taught him. Spurgeon made the observation, 
fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use 
in the salvation of their children. Brethren as Baptists, we ought 
not to swing the pendulum so far in our arguments against 
paedobaptism to not appreciate that oftentimes, not every time, 
but oftentimes God does save in families. A husband and a 
wife get converted, they start to take seriously the scripture, 
they start to teach their children the law and the gospel, and lo 
and behold, God saves them. Now, there's certainly of us 
that have come out of situations where we didn't have believing 
parents and God nevertheless saved us. But the hope is, the 
prayer is, the desire is, is that the families in the church, 
the husbands and the wives that are faithfully serving the Lord, 
fearing God, are going to instruct their children. And the hope 
is, is that those children will, by grace, believe the gospel. So, in our, again, polemics against 
paedo-baptism, let's not reject the idea that God does oftentimes 
work in families. It's a beautiful and a blessed 
thing. It's a great thing when a husband and a wife get converted, 
their children benefit. They get the gospel. So back 
to Spurgeon. Fathers and mothers are the most 
natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. 
I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an 
impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither 
can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have 
such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so 
tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as 
not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's 
blot. Never could it be possible for 
any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. How can I 
ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from 
the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent. Others 
might not think so, but they certainly were eloquent to me. 
How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms 
about my neck prayed, oh, that my son might live before thee? 
And I've quoted it before, when Napoleon was asked, what could 
be done to restore the prestige of France? He says, give us better 
mothers. I would suggest the spiritual 
Israel has that cry as well, accepting all of you, because 
you're wonderful mothers to your children. But we need that kind 
of influence in the lives of our little ones. This is, I don't, 
yeah. Well, I'll say it's one of the 
most important things that we give to our kids. a good man 
leaves an inheritance to his children's children. He may not 
have, you know, bank vaults filled with gold, but if he brings that 
gospel, he brings that truth, He demonstrates the glory of 
God in the context of Scripture and points those little sinners 
unto Jesus Christ. That's an inheritance for children 
and their children beyond them. Thirdly, her authority over her 
children. Again, Exodus chapter 20, the 
fifth commandment, and Paul's words in Ephesians 6. Fathers, 
do not provoke your children, but... I'm sorry. Children, obey 
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father 
and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise. The 
commandment establishes parental authority. Leviticus 19.3 establishes 
parental authority. One dictionary says honoring 
both parents is at the heart of the 10 commandments. And the 
mother comes first in the command to respect, literally fear them 
as part of national holiness, Leviticus 19.13. So the father 
and the mother need to be heeded and obeyed. Look at Proverbs 
15.20. Proverbs 15.20. So her influence and now her authority. 
Proverbs 15.20. A wise son makes a father glad, 
but a foolish man despises his mother. 19.26. 19.26. He who mistreats his father and 
chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Look at 20.20. 20, 20, whoever curses his father or 
his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. Again, 
she's not an afterthought. She has authority over the children. 23, 22, listen to your father 
who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old. 
Buy the truth and do not sell it. Also wisdom and instruction 
and understanding. The father of the righteous will 
greatly rejoice and he who begets a wise child will delight in 
him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who 
bore you rejoice." Let her who bore you rejoice, not lament, 
not grief, not sorrow, not feel pain. There's a book on the Ten 
Commandments by a Dutch theologian named Douma or Douma. My Dutch 
pronunciation's off tonight. It's either Douma or Douma, D-O-U-M-A, 
and you're all saying it's Douma. Some of you might be saying it's 
Douma. He says, mentioning the mother is no afterthought, for 
she deserves to be treated with as much respect as the father. 
Practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's 
physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her 
word. Especially when the young man 
hits puberty and he's a foot taller than his mother. It happens, 
right? Well, I think it happens. Sometimes young men assert themselves 
and it's not wrong. Testosterone does that to a man. 
It's a good thing. It's a bad thing when it's directed 
against the mother. It's a terrible thing. It's a 
vicious thing. It's a vile thing. It's not bad to have testosterone, 
but it's good to direct it in the right direction. He goes 
on to say, she is physically the weaker parent, but the fifth 
commandment clearly requires respect for both father and mother. 
Children must honor their mother even when she is physically or 
physiologically declining. Do not despise your mother when 
she is old, Proverbs 23, 22. The Bible presents a relationship 
of authority between husband and wife where the husband takes 
the lead. but children must show equal honor to both mother and 
father. Her authority right there, grounded 
in the fifth commandment, grounded in Paul's admonition to the children 
in Ephesus, Gentile children under the fifth commandment because 
of its trans-covenantal application must obey their parents and the 
Lord for this is right and honor your father and your mother for 
this is the first commandment with promise. And then finally 
her responsibility toward her children. her responsibility 
toward her children to instruct. We've already seen several passages 
in Proverbs that indicate that. You need to teach them. You need 
to teach them the law. This is what God demands. This 
is what God says. And this is the gospel for when 
you inevitably fail. You may not have to say it just 
like that, but make sure you don't create legalists and Pharisees. Those who think that scripture 
is all about moralism and externalism. Now point them to the cross, 
point them to that fountain that is open for sin and uncleanness, 
point them to Jesus Christ in whom alone there is salvation. 
With reference to instruction, the Proverbs are clear, but as 
well to set an example for her children, to set an example for 
her children. And this applies to husbands 
and fathers as well. Listen to Bridges on Proverbs 
22.6. He says, The mere talk to a child about religion, without 
bringing it to bear upon his loose habits and self-willed 
tempers, is utterly ineffective. None of us lives to himself alone. 
We are all spreading around us an influence, whether for good 
or for evil. Here, therefore, in our families 
lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If the child hears 
of godliness and sees but wickedness, this is bringing him bread with 
one hand and poison with the other, beckoning with the hand 
to heaven, and at the same time taking him by the hand and leading 
him in the way to destruction. Who would receive even the choicest 
food from a leprous hand? A child learns more by the eye 
than by the ear. Imitation is a far more powerful 
principle than memory. A well-trained child gladly looks 
to his parents' godliness as his model picture to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks 
for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery in parental 
example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, if that 
was too much, email me. I will clip it, paste it, and 
send it right back to you. Better buy Bridges on Proverbs. 
His stuff on child rearing is gold, brethren. It is wonderful. It is helpful. So the necessity 
to instruct, but the necessity to exemplify. Now, this is never 
going to be perfect. You're not gonna be wholly harmless 
and undefiled. If your homes are like our home, 
that's not gonna happen. But faithfulness and consistency. So in terms of a responsibility 
to instruct her children, to set an example for her children, 
thirdly, to discipline her children, to discipline her children. Remember 
that thing I said a few minutes ago, we can't convert them, but 
hopefully we can exercise loving pressure on them in such a way 
that they don't end up having to be handed over to the elders 
of a city to be executed. Discipline, verbal reproof, verbal 
reproof. The verbal reproof in view is 
not belittling, it's not shouting, it's not screaming, it's not 
manipulation. Colossians 3.21, the apostle 
says, fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become 
discouraged. The job is not to discourage 
your children. Again, this probably is going 
to affect all of us and say, I do that very thing a lot. Never 
forget, there is a fountain open for sin and uncleanness. Never 
forget, we have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ, 
the righteous. But we, by the grace of God, filled with the 
Spirit of God, are supposed to pursue what is pleasing in God's 
sight. The necessity to engage in corporal 
punishment of sinful children. Now, I've always got to give 
the qualification because of our God-hating society, do this 
discreetly. Do this wisely. Don't do this 
in Walmart. All right, kid, it's time to 
get your lickings. Don't do that, you're gonna end 
up in jail. You're gonna have your children 
taken away from you. A thing that is very offensive 
to the God-hating is that we actually love our children enough 
to discipline them. See, Solomon tells us that he 
who spares the rod is the man who hates his child. I've shared it before, little 
autobiography. I knew that in my own experience. 
As a young man growing up, I was allowed to do things by my father 
that were looked at by my friends. And they said, oh, that's cool. 
Your dad let you do that. I never thought it was cool. 
I thought if he loved me, he wouldn't let me do this stuff. 
I do think he loved me. This isn't a therapy session, 
by the way. I'm not going to start crying and kiddo my dad. But I understood fundamentally 
what Solomon says when I was a young teenager because of the 
lack of parental discipline. I didn't think it was cool that 
I could do that. I thought, he shouldn't let me 
do that. So much to the chagrin of the 
world around us, to discipline your children means you hate 
them. No, Solomon says to not discipline them means you hate 
them. He who hates his son doesn't 
discipline. But he who loves him disciplines 
him promptly. So you gotta be wise, you gotta 
be cunning, you gotta be righteous in this, and you gotta remember 
what Bridges says elsewhere. The rod without affection is 
revolting tyranny. The rod without affection is 
revolting tyranny. This isn't abuse, this isn't 
I'm gonna hurt you. Read the Proverbs, I'll list 
them off. Proverbs 13, 24, 19, 18, 20, 30, 22, 15, 23, 13, and 
14, 29, 15, and 29, 17. There's a lot there, why? Because Solomon doesn't want 
his sons or his son's sons to end up like that incorrigible 
son in Deuteronomy chapter 21, 18 to 21. You can't convert that, 
but by the grace of God, you're gonna do everything you can to 
restrain those passions. Verbal reproof, corporal discipline. And then ultimately, in terms 
of her responsibility toward her children, we already saw 
it in Titus chapter two. Titus chapter two, and I wanna 
end on this note and then just a couple of thoughts in conclusion. 
But in Titus chapter two, what's the older woman to teach the 
younger women? That, verse four, they admonish the young women 
to love their husbands, to love their children, to love their 
children. That's the context for everything 
that precedes in the sermon. A faithful Christian mother loves 
her children. And because she loves her children, 
she's going to do what God says in terms of her responsibility. 
She will seek by the grace of God to execute those things in 
a way that brings honor to him and brings genuine good to her. Now, just some concluding thoughts. 
I would suggest first the need for such women. Again, I'm not 
suggesting that you ladies aren't those women, but I think broader. 
Our local church, other churches, society at large. I've actually 
seen an interesting trend where, you know, some ladies are posting 
videos on Twitter and saying things like, I don't want feminism. I hate feminism. I want a husband. I want children. I want to bake 
sourdough. I mean, that's just thrown out 
there for the cultural reference here, but that's encouraging. People are seeing the bankruptcy 
and the folly of inverting God's created order. It doesn't work. I'm trying to sound like a pragmatist 
here, but it doesn't work. When you flip society on its 
head, when you put women at the top of the food chain, when you 
put men subservient, you're inverting God's created order. When you're 
teaching young ladies that you don't need a man, that's contrary 
to what God says. That doesn't mean every woman 
always needs a man. I get it. There are singles, 
there are exceptions, and that's the way it goes. And bless God 
for that. There's a large percentage of 
persons, however, that a woman does need a man. A man does need 
a woman. In God's zany universe, it just 
seems to work out well that way. We compliment each other. We 
love each other. We help each other. It's a great 
gift. And when man in sin sees this 
great gift, he balks at it, he mocks it, he suggests that there's 
better ways. I'd say that trend toward anti-feminism 
is a better way to go. But in terms of the need for 
such women, listen to Luther. He said, the greatest gift of 
God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, loves his house, 
and with whom one can live in perfect confidence. Bruce Waltke 
on the Proverbs says, the rhetorical question, who can find, that's 
how it starts off if you look at Proverbs 31, specifically 
at verse 10, who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above 
Ruby's. He says the rhetorical question, 
who can find, aims to awaken within the audience the desire 
to find such a wife or to be like her. Matthew Henry says 
this description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what 
wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose. Young men looking for a wife? 
Read Proverbs 31. 10 to 31. To the women, pursue 
this. Breaching through 1 Samuel years 
ago, 1 Samuel chapter 17. You remember the scene, Goliath, 
the giant from the Philistines comes out and he's gonna taunt 
the armies of the living God. Where do we see Saul and the 
troops before David's arrival? They're hiding, they're cowering, 
they're fearful. They don't wanna go up against 
Goliath, he's a big man. David says, who is this uncircumcised 
that defies the army of the living God? And I make the observation, 
do you want to be David or Saul? Hiding and cowering in fear over 
a godless Philistine? Or do you want to be David? We 
all kind of hopefully read that story and say, man, I'd rather 
be David in that scenario than I'd rather be Saul, right? Well, do you want to be the kind 
of woman that does what God says? or the kind of woman that throws 
off what God says. I'd like to think everybody here 
wants to be the kind of woman that God says to be. And then 
as far as men, pursue this kind of woman. And remember that this 
kind of woman is a gift given by God. If you look at Proverbs 
chapter 12, Proverbs chapter 12, specifically at verse four, 
an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But she who causes 
shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 18, verse 22. Proverbs 18, 22. He who finds 
a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 
Much different than the mantra we hear in our generation about 
men never get married because they'll only ruin your lives. 
Women never get married because they'll only ruin your lives. 
What a horrible experiences. I mean, all of our marriages 
have their challenges. All of our marriages, you know, 
they're not wholly harmless and undefiled, no jot and tittle 
of any issues, whatever. But man, it's great. No better 
thing. But with reference to this particular 
section, it's an emphasis that it's a gift given by God. Look 
at 1914. Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, 
but a prudent wife is from the Lord. So the need for such women. I would suggest, secondly, an 
exhortation to such women. You must maintain dependence 
upon God. A woman who fears the Lord. It's a tough job you have. 
You're not going to do it in your own strength and with your 
own grit and determination. It's going to be dependence upon 
the Lord. As well, you must not forsake 
God's word in child-rearing for the latest craze in the world. God's word is God's word even 
at the point of how to raise children. I'm not suggesting 
we can't learn tips and helpful things from general revelation. 
I am not suggesting that at all. I would suggest just the opposite. 
General revelation is a good teacher in this regard. But general 
revelation isn't made to be in combat with special revelation. And if somebody finds the latest 
thing on how to most help your child, but it's contrary to the 
word of God, always side with the word of God. Always take 
God's word. I would suggest you must realize 
that your task is difficult, oftentimes thankless, and mostly 
underappreciated by just about everyone. Say, that makes me 
feel good. It's true. But it's a blessing. You must persevere in your calling 
and realize that the calling you have under God is full-time, 
multifaceted, that is of the utmost importance. I hope you 
don't have those, you know, a calendar or those, what do they call those 
paper chains? You're pulling one off for each 
day they get closer to 18. It's the long haul, sisters. 
faithfulness and perseverance, constancy, dependence upon God, 
repentance when necessary. You must labor to understand 
God's truth, the law and the gospel, and you must continually 
set forth that truth before your children. And it doesn't have 
to be in a formal setting. Okay, juniors, sit down. I'm 
gonna give you a three-point Spurgeon sermon. What's the principle 
that we see in Deuteronomy chapter six? when you rise up, when you 
walk by the way, when you lay down. In other words, you're 
speaking God's truth to them in all contexts. You're at the 
zoo and you see the giraffe and you say, isn't that interesting 
how God made the giraffe with a long neck like that so he can 
get the leaves up top. Isn't that interesting the way 
that tiger eats animals? You bring every thought captive 
to the obedience of Christ in your instruction of them. You 
must guard against laziness. And I say this knowing that none 
of you struggle with this ever, but I think it should be said 
because in Proverbs 31, 27, it says, she watches over the ways 
of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Does 
not eat the bread of idleness. That means that if there's laziness, 
you need to repent. Your children need your instruction. 
They need your example. They need your guidance. They 
need all that you are for them and to them. And hopefully, husbands, 
you're listening, hearing about how difficult this is, and you're 
being a good and faithful man to try to give her some help 
and assistance and some time for herself. And then you must 
demonstrate fidelity to God's truth through obedience and through 
repentance when you sin. We're all going to sin against 
our children. It just happens. So what do we 
do? Do we harden our necks? Oh no, 
that wasn't me. I didn't sin. No, you ask for forgiveness. 
I think that teaches children what the gospel is all about. 
I'm not perfect. I'm thinking in terms of Proverbs 
28, that whoever covers his transgression will not prosper, but the one 
who confesses and forsakes it will find mercy. So you confess 
your sins to your son, to your daughter. I shouldn't have done 
that. I lost my ever-loving mind. Please forgive me, you know, 
junior. Typically, at least in my experience, 
children are very gracious and very forgiving. And then the 
encouragement. If you look back at Proverbs 
31, notice the encouragement she gets from her husband. The 
encouragement she gets, maybe I should say it this way, the 
encouragement she should get from her husband. Verse 28b, 
her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done 
well, but you excel them all. Don't assume that because she's 
good at what she's doing, she doesn't need any encouragement. 
Don't assume that because she seems to have mastered her task, 
that she doesn't need a little shot of encouragement once in 
a while. The husband here says, many daughters 
have done well, but you excel them all. Don't be afraid to 
praise your wife for a good job well done. Notice from her children, 
the first part of verse 28, her children rise up and call her 
blessed. Brethren, that may take some 
years, But by God's grace, it'll happen. From her community, look 
at 31b, and let her own works praise her in the gates. But the most important comes 
from God Almighty for having done her task, not so that she 
may be saved, but by God's grace, she is saved for this particular 
calling, she will receive the crown of life that the Lord has 
promised to all who serve him faithfully. May you be encouraged 
and exhorted, hopefully there was no clobbering and no coddling, 
and may God indeed bless the families in our church, the parents, 
the grandparents, and as we seek to bring them up in the training 
and admonition of the Lord. Let us pray. Our Father in heaven, 
thank you for your word. Thank you for what we find here 
in this description of the virtuous woman. I pray for my sisters 
in this local body that you would continue to encourage them, cause 
them to walk in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the 
Holy Spirit. And God, we do yearn to see our children called out 
of darkness into marvelous light. We pray that you would be merciful 
to our young people, to our children, to the babies, to the baby in 
the womb. We pray that in your mercy and in your grace, you 
would be well pleased to save to the uttermost those in this 
congregation. And we pray this in Jesus' name. 
Amen. We'll stand and sing 568.