Well, you can turn with me in your Bibles to Proverbs 31, as we consider the faithful Christian mother. Proverbs 31, our focus will be verses 28 to 30. We'll look at other passages as well, but I do wanna begin reading in verse one. The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him, what my son, and what son of my womb, and what son of my vows?

Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink, lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the justice of all the afflicted. Give strong drink to him who is perishing and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his misery no more.

Open your mouth for the speechless and the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Who can find a virtuous wife, for her worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She's like the merchant's ships. She brings her food from afar.

She also rises while it is yet night, provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it. From her profits, she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.

She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. Amen. Well, let us pray.

Opening Prayer

Our gracious God and Holy Father, we thank You for the written word that You have given to us. We thank You for the Holy Spirit who guides us and illumines our minds and hearts, and we pray that He would do that even today. As well, we pray for forgiveness for all of our sin and transgression. We pray that You would cleanse us in that precious blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I pray for all the ladies here that you would encourage their hearts and build them up in their most holy faith. And God, may we all have a fresh appreciation for the gospel of our salvation, the glory of our blessed Savior, Jesus Christ, the one who lived for us, the one who died for us, the one who was raised for us, and that one who will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead. How we give praise that he is altogether lovely and chief among 10,000. And wherever this gospel is preached, we pray that the Holy Spirit would be present that He would convict sinners of their sins and set before them Christ as able to save to the uttermost.

And we pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

Introduction

Well, this is obviously a very familiar passage of Scripture we often hear of people referred to as a Proverbs 31 wife. It's an interesting section dealing with the wife, the woman, the mother that we have here beginning in verse 10. Solomon, or the author here, Lemuel, asks the question, who can find a virtuous woman? Suggests they're not prevalent.

There's not a billion of them. It's not that you can go shake a tree and find one of these women. They need God's grace. They need the faith in Christ.

They need the Holy Spirit to be what is envisaged here. As well, it's a piece of poetry. It's an acrostic. So from verses 10 to 31, each of the verses begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

And in the Hebrew canon, which is substantially the same. So the Old Testament that we have is the same books that the Jews have in their Bible, their Tanakh, their They're a holy book, but there is a different ordering. And in the Jewish canon, we have the book of Ruth following Proverbs 31. And that's appropriate.

In Ruth 3.11, Boaz says concerning Ruth, and now my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request. For all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. So, in light of Proverbs 31, then you have the placement of Ruth in the Hebrew canon to illustrate or to demonstrate or to manifest the living embodiment of a virtuous woman.

Now, this section transcends just motherhood. It certainly includes motherhood, but it speaks to the woman as a woman. It speaks to her relative to her husband, and it speaks to her with reference to her children. If you notice specifically in terms of her as a Christian woman, she is diligent, according to verses 13 and following.

She is spiritual, according to verse 30. She is self-controlled, according to verse 26. Good characteristics of those who walk in faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. as well with reference to being a wife. She is trustworthy to her husband.

Verse 11. She does good for her husband. Notice in verse 12. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

She doesn't chase him around the house with a rolling pin. She doesn't pack up his stuff every time he sins and throw it outside the front door. She does him good, and that is a wonderful emphasis. But with reference to her as a mother, we're going to look at four things here and elsewhere.

First, her condition before God. Second, her influence over her children. Third, her authority over her children. And fourth, her responsibility toward her children.

I've shared this before. I have a friend in Seattle. His name is Jeff. And he said that typically on Father's Day, fathers get hammered.

They get told what they must do and how they must perform. And on Mother's Day, we just bask in the sunshine of the mothers around us. Well, we'll do that, but there's gonna be a little hammering as well, because without faithful mothering, our kids are gonna be unmanageable. They're going to be wretched.

They're going to be those that we want nothing to do with, and that's unacceptable.

Her Condition Before God

So first, her condition before God. Notice what is described of her in verse 30. It says, charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. So her condition before God in the first place is that she's saved by God's grace.

If you turn to the book of Romans, Romans chapter 3, we see it very clearly that not all men and not all women fear God. As the Apostle summarizes the universal condemnation of sin and judgment facing mankind, He gives a sort of katina or litany of written passages from the Old Testament to make his case. Notice in Romans 3.10, as it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands.

There is none who seeks after God. They have all turned aside. They have together become unprofitable. There is none who does good, no, not one.

Their throat is an open tomb. With their tongues they have practiced deceit. The poison of asps is under their lips. mouth is full of cursing and bitterness, their feet are swift to shed blood, destruction and misery are in their ways, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes." That's the grand summation of this particular section.

The reality is that man, woman, boy, and girl should fear God. Both Jeremiah the prophet and John the apostle ask that question. They say, who would not fear thee, O king of the nations? For indeed it is thy due.

God most high is to be feared. God most high is to be glorified. He is to be worshiped. He is to be praised.

He is altogether lovely and chief among 10,000. But because of our position in Adam, because of our union with Adam, because of that sinful state, we don't fear God as we ought. So that the woman in Proverbs 31 fears the Lord indicates that God has worked in her heart. You can turn back to the prophet Jeremiah.

Jeremiah chapter 32, in a promise concerning the new covenant, we see that it's God who's in the business of causing our hearts to fear. Jeremiah chapter 32, specifically at verse 38, says, then they shall be my people and I will be their God. Then I will give them one heart and one way that they may fear me forever, for the good of them and their children after them. and I will make an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from doing them good. But I will put my fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from me.

Yes, I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and with all my soul. "'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear," is what John Newton wrote in that most familiar hymn sung by the Christian church. It's not us that taught our heart to fear. That virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 didn't wake up one day and say, you know, it might be a good idea for me to start to fear the Lord.

No, grace was the cause. Grace was the blessing. Grace was what promoted that. The emphasis in the New Testament underscores this reality as well.

How does a dead sinner come to the place where they fear God? They do so by God's grace. Unless a man is born again, he shall not see the kingdom of God. Well, God causes him to be born again.

God gives him the graces of faith and repentance. And as a result, he teaches our heart to fear. just like we see there in the prophet Jeremiah. Turn to the book of Titus. We'll see how these two things are inextricably connected in terms of what a woman is by God's grace and how a woman should function in order or with reference to God's command.

Look at chapter 2 in the book of Titus. There are instructions for various people groups. There are instructions for older men, for older women, for younger men, for younger women, younger men, and then for Titus himself. Now notice specifically with reference to the older women in verse 3.

The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given a much whining, teachers of good things. Now notice in verses four and five, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blaspheme. Again, he continues on with instruction for appropriate people groups in the context of the church. But then notice at verse 11, for the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.

This is the ground upon which the various people groups in the church of Jesus Christ live. They live in light of gospel. They live in light of Christ and him crucified and resurrected. They live in light of what God has done in terms of salvation.

In other words, it is the truth of God's gospel that saves them, that conquers them, that brings them into subjection to the master and king. Then the master and king gives them instructions on how they ought to live. And we see the how you ought to live mess in the first part of the chapter, and then in verses 11 and following, this is the why you ought to live that way. For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age. looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.

You see, that connection. She's not saved because she's a faithful mother. She's not saved because she's a faithful wife. She's not saved because she's a faithful woman.

She's saved because God is a faithful Savior. She's saved because Christ is the victor. Christ is triumphant. His blood shed cleanses her from all sin.

Once she's been cleansed, once she's been freed, once she comes to the Savior, Christ now says, this is how you ought to live. in light of these great redemptive truths. So she not only is saved by grace, but I think that statement in 31.30 indicates that she walks with the Lord. It says, but a woman who fears the Lord. It's not just a one-time thing.

She doesn't just fear the Lord at the moment of conversion. She doesn't just fear the Lord at the moment she's justified freely by the Lord's grace, but she walks with him, she communes with him. Turn back to Proverbs chapter three, Proverbs chapter three. specifically at verse 7, do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones.

Look at 8.13, 8.13, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance in the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. Sometimes we're shunned or we're corrected or we're reproved for expressing hatred of say abortion. Well, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil. The fear of the Lord is to despise that which is contrary to the Lord.

And a woman who walks with the Lord, who fears the Lord, has that kind of an attitude, has that kind of mindset. Look at Proverbs 14 and verse 26. It says, in the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge. We saw this in the last hour.

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life to turn one away from the snares of death. And then over at 19, verse 23, another fear of the Lord passage. Proverbs 19.23, the fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil.

So the faithful Christian mother is the one who is saved by God's grace. Her heart is taught to fear by the Lord Most High. She is awakened by the power of the Spirit. She is given a new heart.

She is given the graces of faith and repentance. She lays hold of Jesus Christ as He comes in the gospel of our salvation. And then she maintains that by walking with Him. She reads her Bible.

She prays. She comes to church. Theology is not simply a man's activity. Every Christian ought to be about learning theology, ought to be about learning about the Trinity, learning about the various things that we find in our confession of faith.

It's not confined to men, but women need to be strong. They need to grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So if you're lazy or apathetic, or you are not pursuing this relationship that God has initiated, then please repent, read your Bible, pray, come to the means of grace, the corporate means that God has ordained.

Her Influence Over Her Children

Now secondly, moving from the broader statement concerning her condition before God, let's look at her influence over her children. She's got a commandment clothed with her name. Honor your father and your mother. That is an emphasis by Moses in the Old Testament, Exodus chapter 20, Deuteronomy chapter five.

The apostle Paul rehearses it with the Ephesian church in Ephesians chapter six. Children obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with promise. So you've got this influence over your children.

Parenting today is absolutely devoid of common sense and biblical sense. There are parents today that say, I just don't know what to do with him. He's five, deal with him. That's what you're supposed to do with him.

Now, 15 and 20 and 25 get more difficult to be sure, but a two-year-old or a three-year-old, God's clothed you with the authority to be able to repress that, to be able to stop that, to be able to get that under control. Unmanageable kids are a curse rather than a blessing. And I don't mean that in the most epic sense. But with reference to this mindset, ladies, you have influence over your children.

Look in the Proverbs, outside of the Law of Moses, which much of what the Proverbs are is recollection of the Law of Moses. Look at Proverbs 1-8. Proverbs 1.8, my son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. That assumes that she knows the law and is able to teach it, but it also assumes dignity in terms of her position.

She's on an equal footing in terms of authority with the husband over the children. Notice in Proverbs chapter 6, Proverbs chapter 6, specifically at verse 20. My son, keep your father's command and do not forsake the law of your mother. And then Proverbs 31.1, look at the state of King Lemuel.

Proverbs 31.1, the words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him. We know the effect and the influence of a godly mother and a grandmother on the life of young Timothy, according to Paul in 2 Timothy 1. Lois and Eunice were directly responsible for catechizing Timothy, for teaching him the truth. They had a great deal of influence over that young man and they exercised it accordingly.

Listen to Spurgeon concerning mothers and fathers. He says, fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. That makes perfect sense, doesn't it? We are supposed to point them to the cross.

We're supposed to show them sin, we're supposed to discipline them for sin, but we're supposed to show them that there are riches of God's grace. As parents, we have a great deal of influence over our children. He says, I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.

A man with a soul so dead as not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's blot. Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. How can I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent.

Others might not think so, but they certainly were eloquent to me. How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms around my neck prayed, oh, that my son might live before thee? There is influence that you exercise over children. This is true, obviously, of fathers, but it's Mother's Day.

So you need to embrace this and understand that. A woman who fears the Lord, she's been conquered by the grace of God. She walks in communion with God. She is faithful in terms of her intake of Bible and theology.

And then she exercises that influence over her children for the most important aspect of their lives. Mothers, it's most helpful. You should really teach your kid about taxes. You should really teach your kid about debt.

You should really teach your kid about hard work. Things that, wouldn't it be nice if there was some institution that existed, oh, like, say, a school where they actually prepared people for life instead of, you know, diversity and gender studies? Brethren, it is a good thing to teach your children that stuff, but teach them the law and the gospel. Teach them what God's word says.

Teach them what the truth is as it is in Jesus, that he was sent by the Father to save sinners from their sins, and that your little ones, as beautiful as they are, as wonderful as they are, are nevertheless in Adam. And as a result, you push upon their conscience the necessity to flee to Jesus. Her influence over her children is incalculable. It was John Newton.

That man was a blasphemer. He was a slave trader. When God ultimately saved him, it shouldn't surprise us that he pens the words, "'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear." But he knew what it was to have a mother who pled with him, to have a mother that tried to implore him to repent from his sin and to forsake his wickedness. Spurgeon goes on to recall the same thing with reference to his mother.

She actually said to those children, the children that were under her care, under her influence, she would plead with them to come to the Savior. And she told them that on the day of judgment, if you have not come to Jesus Christ, I'll stand on his side in your condemnation. Wow, that's a woman who understood her influence. That's a woman who understood the power that she wielded in the lives of her little ones.

There isn't anything more important than salvation. Ladies, if there's one or two things you should really learn, it's the law, it's the gospel. learn how they relate, learn how they connect, learn how they're different, learn why we need the gospel in light of the broken law, and press those things upon your children tirelessly. One of the most blessed things in church life of the last few years is when young people reared in our church want to get baptized, they want to join the church. What a good thing!

Praise God most high! There's studies in other churches, and I'm sure, you know, we're not immune from this, but you hear about, oh, all the young people are leaving churches, you know, everybody's departing. What's the problem? Well, the largest part of the problem is that they're not converted.

They've never been pressed with the claims of Christ. They've never been told the gospel. They've accepted some field goodery that is going under the name of Christianity. They've never heard of the bloody savior and the necessity for him.

And with that reality, they're not converted. Why would they go to church? I don't think that's the question. I can't believe they're not going to church.

I can't believe that we're letting children go without having preached to them the gospel. without having declared to them the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Ladies, you've got great influence. Wield it for good.

Her Authority Over Her Children

Now thirdly, her authority over her children. Again, Exodus 20 and Ephesians chapter 6. It's both parents. Honor your father and your mother.

What's one of the claims that persons make about the Bible? Oh, it's sexist, it's misogynistic. Would sexism and would misogynistic practice lead the author to include woman right alongside of man when it comes to parental authority in the home? You've got the Ten Commandments.

There's a commandment that specifically gives you that authority in the rule over your children. One dictionary says honoring both parents is at the heart of the Ten Commandments. And the mother comes first in the command to respect or fear them as part of national holiness. In Leviticus 19.3, mother comes before father.

Again, it's not to derogate the authority of the father. It is simply to emphasize this particular packing order. The father and mother are needed to be heeded and obeyed. Turn to Proverbs 15.

Proverbs chapter 15. This is your authority. You've got influence, but you've got authority. 1520, a wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. Again, the scriptures do not leave her as some second-tier citizen.

Oh, it's just daddy that has the authority. It's just daddy that has the influence. It is mommy and daddy, collectively, for the good of those children. so that they can grow up learning the truth as it is in Jesus. We can't save them, we can't convert them, we can't change their hearts, but we can point them to the God who is able to do that.

And mother shares responsibility. 1926, he who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach. Look at 20, 20. Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. You see, mother's not an afterthought.

Mother's right there. Equal dignity, equal authority, equal influence over those children. Look at 23, Proverbs 23 at 22. Listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Buy the truth and do not sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice. One man, he has a book on the Ten Commandments, his last name is Delma.

He says, "...mentioning the mother is no afterthought, for she deserves to be treated with as much respect as the father. Practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her word." I had a buddy in high school, and he had a very tiny mother, and there were times I thought he was going to get violent with his very tiny mother, and it used to terrify me inwardly. I think there was a time when my tiny wife, she just went down to the bathroom, I think when Micah was a bit bigger, I think one time they were in a brouhaha, and he picked her up, not violently. If you know Micah, he does these kinds of things with a big smile on his face.

But it can seem that way, right? Especially when a young man starts to get bigger, and he has more testosterone, and he perceives that perhaps his mother's no match for him. Your mother's always a match because she's clothed with the fifth commandment. And you need to submit to her, and you need to obey her, and you need to do what she says.

That's the bottom line. God gives that authority, not just to fathers, but to mothers as well. Back to Delma. The fifth commandment clearly requires respect for both father and mother.

Children must honor their mother even when she is physiologically declining. Do not despise your mother when she is old, Proverbs 23, 22. The Bible presents a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband takes the lead, but children must show equal honor to both mother and father. You've got influence over these children.

You've got authority over these children.

Her Responsibility Toward Her Children

So let's look fourthly now at her responsibility toward her children. Now that you know what your influence is, now that you know what your authority is, I've got four things that I want to set forth.

Instruct Your Children

First, to instruct your children. to instruct your children. That is paramount. That is crucial. Fathers, do not provoke your children, but bring them up in what?

The training and admonition of the Lord. You think that means mom, go ahead and exasperate them. Mom, go ahead and provoke them. Mom, go ahead.

You don't have to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. No, they're co-regents together. Father and mother are working for a common good, and that is to bring their children to the cross. Again, we can't change their hearts, we can't convert them, but we bring the word of God to them, which is the instrument that the spirit of God uses to bring salvation.

We saw that, Ephesians 1, 13 and 14, last Sunday night. You see it in James 1, verse 18, of his will. He brought us forth by the word of truth. Sisters, if you're not teaching the word of truth, if you're not teaching them the law and showing them their sin, they'll never see their need for the Savior.

And if you are teaching them the law and you are teaching them sin and you don't give them the gospel, that's a big problem as well. That is to do soul damage to a person. Imagine, only ever hearing law and how miserable you are. Imagine only ever hearing about how desperately wicked you are.

We certainly need to hear that because we don't always believe it, but we need to hear about Christ. We need to hear about his active obedience to the law. We need to hear about his passive obedience to the law. We need to hear that this was God's plan for the redemption of sinners.

And ladies, you need to bring this to bear upon your children. This is one of the primary aspects of your job, of your calling. Again, they should learn about debt. They should learn about taxes.

They should learn about hard work. But they need to learn about the cross. They need to learn about what our Lord Jesus Christ did in terms of saving his people from their sins. They need to know about atonement.

They need to know about forgiveness. They need to know that word that Brother Steve read tonight or today from Hebrews 2, propitiation. Said a lady saying, well, you know, theology is for the men. Get the dictionary out.

Get your phone out. I don't even use dictionaries anymore. It's too far to walk. I just type in the word and then D-E-F on my phone.

I get whatever definition I want. There is absolutely, positively no reason today for there to be the illiteracy that still seems to plague the Christian church. We've got Bibles, we've got books, we've got churches, we've got sermon audio, we've got a whole plethora of things to help us along the way. And yet, There are still people among us that couldn't define justification.

People among us that still don't know the difference between justification and sanctification. People among us that aren't living in light of 2 Peter 3.18, grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Brethren, when I've read 2 Peter 3, I've never thought for a moment, and I've certainly never seen it in the text, where Peter says, okay, ladies, go make muffins while I give them this admonition. Go in there and make the bed and sweep the floor while I get to the men thing, while I tell them to grow in the grace.

No, it's for men and women. Grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ladies, use your influence. Endorse it with your authority by instructing your children.

Set an Example

Secondly, to set an example for her children. Look at Proverbs 22.6. Proverbs 22.6, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. That certainly entails and involves verbal instruction.

It certainly entails and involves the opening of one's mouth to convey information. But it also includes practice. One of the old boys, probably a lot of them, said, we can undo with our lives what we preach up on a Sunday if we're not consistent. Now, they're never going to be absolutely consistent or 100% perfection and what I model to you is consistent with Paul himself.

No, it's not going to be that way. But there needs to be a positive example that goes along with the instruction so that the children won't think you're big, fat hypocrites. Bridges makes this observation. He says, Here, therefore, in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency.

If the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other, beckoning with the hand to heaven, and at the same time taking him by the hand and leading him in the way of destruction. Who would receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? A child learns more by the eye than by the ear. Imitation is a far more powerful principle than memory.

A well-trained child gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks for the excuse of his own delinquency. And this discovery and parental example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. So don't give them a reason to say, well, I'm this way because you're that way.

Now, they can still say that about just about anything, but brethren, the language or the statement or the point is powerful. Set a good example. Thirdly, kids, you're not going to like this part, but

Discipline Your Children

she needs to discipline her children. She needs to discipline her children. Along with the husband, obviously, men are not passive, you know, guys sitting on their chairs and, you know, banging their arm on the chair and saying, you know, lady, take care of that brat. That's not good husbanding.

That's not being a good father and a husband to your wife. We are co-regents. We both have the task. Typically, a mother is with the children more than the father.

It's just that way. But with reference to discipline, the necessity to verbally reprove sinful children. the necessity to verbally reprove sinful children. Colossians 3. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.

This is not belittling. This is not screaming. This is not, you know, chasing them around the house. This is correcting them with your voice.

There needs to be verbal reproof. The Book of Proverbs certainly sets forth corporal punishment. We'll look at a few of those texts in just a moment. But it also sets forth verbal reproof.

And the accent typically falls on the verbal reproof. In other words, you're not simply supposed to spank them, you're supposed to talk to them. You're supposed to chastise them with your words. You're supposed to rebuke them.

You're supposed to reprove them. You're supposed to get in their faces from time to time and say, no, you're not supposed to do that. What was Eli's sin? Eli's sin was that he knew that his sons were wretches, but he didn't restrain them.

His sons did not know the Lord according to 1 Samuel 2. As a result of their not knowing the Lord, they stole sacrifices and they lay with temple prostitutes. Eli knew that this was going on, but he didn't stop it. So as a result, God killed him.

That's what you get. Not always, but sometimes. when you go against God's Word. So there is this necessity to verbally reprove your children. As well, there is a necessity to engage in corporal punishment.

Now make sure you do this discreetly. We live in a day and age where there is much antipathy against the Bible. In fact, I want to salute mothers today. I mean, this particular culture seems to be at war with women in general, and motherhood especially.

Look at these lunatics losing their minds over the prospect, the possibility, the suggestion that Roe versus Wade may actually be overturned. What do they do in response to that? They go and intimidate federal justices, which is, by the way, a crime, but it's okay if you happen to be in their party. As well, there was lots of talk about storming into churches today and abusing the people of God as they gather together on the Lord's Day.

Why? For the heinous crime of wanting to have children and wanting to rear them up in the training and admonition of the Lord? Ladies, if you've undertaken this particular task, good on you. Praise God Almighty.

The shame that is often associated with it. Yeah, we're going to have five kids. Another one? Shared that with you before at Northrop Grumman.

Every time I'd go to work with the news that my wife was pregnant, one of those guys would roll their eyes. Another one? You don't have enough? I mean, isn't the 1.2 model about all we can deal with?

You're up into the five region? Well, then you get to Chilliwack, and that's chump change, right? I just saw a little notice that apparently BC, either generally or Chilliwack specifically, is leading the country in terms of propagation. And I don't mean in terms of gardening and agriculture.

I mean in terms of Genesis 1.26. Children are a blessing. What's with this war against them and against mothers? There was a woman that was appealing to people and saying, if you get...

I don't want to get into all the horror story at this point, but there is animosity against God. When you look at the culture and you see the variegated assaults on what we're seeing... I mean, a couple of weeks ago, they weren't even able to find a woman. A potential Supreme Court justice was asked to find a woman and she said, I'm not a biologist.

What kind of an answer is that? But the thought of overturning Roe versus Wade automatically taught everybody now what a woman is. And every woman has a right to choose to do anything with her body except refuse a vaccine, but she has the right to do just about everything else, including and up to murdering the baby in her womb. Brethren, we are in weird days, sinful days, depraved days.

We are in the days like the prophet Isaiah, woe to those who call good evil and evil good. Ladies, take this as an encouragement to continue in your task. With reference to corporal punishment, again, be discreet, be wise, do not give the pagan, do not give the heathen any ammunition against you whatsoever. But the scriptures are replete with that emphasis.

It's not the case that, you know, we'll just leave him on his own and hopefully he'll turn out all right. No, you need to pray for him. You need to teach him. And when he gets out of line, you need to discipline him.

That's how God treats us, right? We read in the last hour, with reference to adoption, one of the privileges and one of the blessings of being the people of God is the chastening hand of our Father. In Hebrews chapter 12, the Apostle tells us, if you're not chastened, if you're not being spanked by the Heavenly Father, then you're illegitimate. You're not a son.

This is part and parcel of a right relationship between a father and his son. There's discipline. We are prone to wander and prone to leave the God that we love. If you read the Bible correctly, you will see that children are not immune to that.

The wicked go estranged from what? From the womb. The psalmist says in Psalm 58, speaking lies as soon as they are born. The fathers, I think I saw it in Bridget's commentary on Proverbs, he says, the father said, if you haven't subdued that kid's will by two, you're gonna lose.

Really? Subdue that kid's will by two? We've got 12 year olds today that no one can stand being around. Why is that?

Oh, because we're gonna just let them go and do their thing and we'll give them advice. No, that's not your job. It's not to be a bystander in the training of your children. It is to verbally and corporally discipline them.

Proverbs 13. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Brethren, if you don't know that passage experientially, trust me, it's very powerful.

Some people are brought up with parents that don't discipline them. And those people have friends that say, oh, it's great that your parents don't discipline you. But those kids know, hey, if they really loved me, they would discipline me. They wouldn't let me get away with this kind of nonsense.

He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Look at 1918. 1918. Just a sampling here, and I know you guys know these passages. I hope you mark them off.

Proverbs 19, verse 18. Chasten your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction. Chasing your son while there's hope, right? You can't give up.

You can't say, well, I'm done. I'm never gonna do anything. Chasing your son while there is hope. As my beloved says, as long as there's air in the lungs, there's still hope.

Notice in Proverbs 20, verse 30. Proverbs chapter 20 at verse 30, blows that hurt cleanse away evil. Now brethren, just to make sure everybody understands, I'm not advocating abuse. I'm not suggesting give them a backhand to the forehead if they get out of line.

The sucker punch or the dragon kick, that's not what's here. It is corporal discipline, disciplined by, or parents disciplined by God, who understand that the necessity to intervene with reference to their children, and it's not a banshee running around screaming at your kid while waving some implement of torture. That's not what these passages mean. Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.

Read it in the King James for maximum benefit at some point. The blueness of the wound scours away evil. I mean, I could be arrested just for advocating this, brethren, in the culture that we find ourselves in. I told Rebecca recently, I look out the window for the federal agents when they show up and say, we actually listened to a handful of sermons.

It's enough to send you to the Gulag forever in Canada for this. But it shouldn't be that way. Why, you know, in the 20th and 21st century did we say, oh, you know, that idea of training children, come on, how antiquated, how barbaric? Do you think there's possibly a correlation to the way the world looks now? and the fact that we got rid of discipline?

I mean, all of these fools that were not reared up in the training and admonition of the Lord actually are leaders now, and they act like little children. They act like undisciplined little children. Notice in Proverbs 22, 15. Proverbs 22, 15, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.

The rod of correction will drive it far from him. You just don't get clearer. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. Oh, but he's so wonderful.

Yeah, but he's a sinner. Oh, she's so awesome, but she's a sinner. She's just great. Yeah, but she's a sinner.

And if you don't start treating her as a sinner, and I don't mean like, you know, stay away from me, sinner, but I mean, here's the law, here's the gospel. When you get out of line, you get corrected. When you get corrected, I point you to the cross because ultimately that's where healing comes. That's where health and strength comes.

That's where forgiveness and remission are. Notice as well, Proverbs 23, 13 and 14, do not withhold correction from a child. For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.

Again, you can hear the people outside saying, that's vicious, that's horrific, that's terrible. One more piece of autobiography. Some of you have heard this. When we first got saved, we didn't know how to rear children.

I had a good friend, Ambassador Barcelos. He kind of took us under his wing. We're good friends. But then, hey, this is what you do when you've got children.

You do what Solomon says. Oh, great. So my mother finds out that we spank our kids. We spank our kids with a tool for that particular purpose.

And one day, she looked at me and she said, Are you serious? You're hitting those kids? It's always language that's calculated to be rhetorically stinging. Spanking children is abusing, smacking, hitting.

You actually hit those little ones and for a minute they're... Caught me, I was like, man, what a barbarian. And my mother was a master at rhetorical overkill. So if you knew her, I just about melted.

And then I thought, wait a minute, God's word says do this. And then I just obviously was thinking that day. I took my thinking pills and I said, mom, when you were little, what happened when you got out of line? Without a whiff, she said, well, we got belted.

Really, you got belted. Again, any correlation between the fact that in your day, when you were a kid, running in the hall, chewing gum, talking in class were the big offenses in school. And in our day, you've got to go through a metal detector so you don't do mass shooting with a gun. So they can find any drugs that you might be smuggling in to sell.

Pregnancy in high school, abortion in high school. Do you think there's some correlation between us abdicating our God-given authority vis-a-vis the fifth commandment and the way that society looks today? I think there's a strong correlation. And I think that ultimately the path forward is to go back to the scriptures and everything the pagan and the heathen despise is what we imbibe.

That we are counter-revolutionary, counter-cultural by simply getting married. by simply having children, by simply raising them up the way that God says. That's one of the most blessed impacts we can make in this day and age. That is what we can do in terms of counteracting the godlessness that is all around us. We need to train our children.

We need to rear them in the training and admonition of the Lord. So 23-14, you shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. Notice in 29-15. 29-15. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Look at verse 17, correct your son and he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to your soul. Back to Proverbs 31. This is all enjoined in this whole idea of a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Love Your Children

And then the final aspect is love your children. Love them, right? That almost seems counterintuitive, or it's almost so obvious. Look at Titus again, Titus chapter two.

Look at what the older women need to teach the younger women. Not quantum physics, not how to fix the car, but there are things that older women should be teaching the younger women. And if you're a younger woman in our church, don't wait for the older women to call you, call them. Oh, I'd love to be tutored by an older woman.

I'm gonna sit here by my phone and wait for them to call me. Call her. Hey, older woman, maybe don't address her that way. O.W.

Call her an O.W. or my dear elderly sister. Again, I'm asking you not to do that. You'll get a backhand. Hey, can we go out for coffee?

I'm a younger woman. Titus says that I should find an older woman and you fit that bill. Why is it that we always wait for everybody else to come to us? Oh, I was at that church and everybody was so unfriendly.

Were you friendly? Well, no, I was a visitor. You know, Solomon says in Proverbs that one who is friendly will have friends. There's a reciprocity about life, brethren.

When you just sit by your phone waiting for all the brethren to do their duty and call you, you're going to be upset and then you're going to get embittered. You can pick up the phone too, and you can call them. It's a wonderful thing. My phone not only calls out, but it also receives.

I would imagine that your phones do that too. I think I'm on the 8, the iPhone 8. I can't imagine that the 13 is any less spectacular in terms of performance. The younger women need to be instructed by the older women.

If you're an older woman that has some time and you have the wherewithal, call the younger women to be sure. But younger women, don't just sit around and whine because none of the older women will help you. Have you ever asked for help? Have you ever called them?

Have you ever offered to take them out for coffee? Notice in Titus 2.3. The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children." Again, it may seem counterintuitive.

Why does he have to tell us something that's like, drink water, breathe air? because we see this animus against babies. We see this in the left losing their mind and some on the right at the prospect of Roe versus Wade being overturned. There is not this natural affinity and this love in the heart of every person for every other person. We're a messed up race.

We've got sin. We've got evil. We've got depravity. And so the younger women need to learn to love their husbands and love their children.

All that you do in terms of discipline and instruction, in terms of the exercise of your influence and your authority, it needs to be in the arena of love, the orbit of love. Ephesians 1, 5, in love. having predestined us to adoption as sons. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. It's not just the end game, but it's the context of the orbit in which that comes to pass.

It is love that women need for their children.

Application

Now, in conclusion, just a few practical observations. First, the need for such women. Again, notice in verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife?

And then it goes on to explain her blessedness. Luther says, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect confidence. Waltke, a modern commentator, says the rhetorical question, who can find, aims to awaken within the audience the desire to find such a wife or to be like her. Henry says the description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose.

In other words, women aspire to be what Solomon says is a virtuous woman. Men, when you're out on the, I almost said hunt, when you're out on the prowl, I don't know if that's much better, when you're out looking for a bride, find one like this. See, we have this idea that we're so awesome and so wonderful that anybody would be blessed to get us. That's usually over-exaggeration.

We need to get our own houses in order. We need to get our own lives in order. We need to function before God in a responsible and obedient manner before we're fit and ready to go function with other people. In other words, if our relationship vertically is off, it's going to affect everything horizontally.

And so Solomon provides for us, or the book of Proverbs provides for us, this acrostic. This is what a woman should pursue. This is what a man should pursue when he's looking for a woman. There should be objective criteria.

Now brothers, be reasonable. Brothers have realistic expectations. This woman ultimately doesn't exist. I mean, a lot of ladies in here are aspiring, and a lot of ladies in here are demonstrating acumen and certain features, but there is an idealized standard.

Get your expectations in check. Now, when it comes to women, in terms of exhortation, I've got a few things. First, you must maintain dependence upon God, a woman who fears the Lord. I would suggest that mothering, and I make this observation as one who's watched a mother do it with five kids, has to be the hardest job I've seen.

I mean, I'm thankful that I'm not a mother. I mean, thank you God that I wasn't born a woman because I'd have to be a mother. I'm kidding. It's a most noble and dignified task, but brethren, it's a tough job.

It is a multi-faceted job, and I want to encourage you ladies to maintain dependence upon God. As well, you must not forsake God's Word. Facebook and Instagram, you may get tips here or there on how to make a latte, but if you're at Facebook and Instagram on how to rear your children, may I suggest you go from Facebook and Instagram into the book of Proverbs. Debt bridges on Proverbs.

While there's some moralism in there, it's a moralism that we could all do with a good dose of. I'm not into moralism. I don't like preaching moralistic sermons. I feel like in some sense this is, but we do have imperative.

We do have command from Yahweh on how we're to function and how we're to live in a manner that is consistent with His revelation. As well, you must realize that your task is difficult, oftentimes thankless, and mostly underappreciated by just about everyone. I think that's an apt description of motherhood, isn't it? I mean, to do all of your kids and your spouse and everything.

Oh, they just fawn over you all the time because of the great job you're doing. Probably not. As well, you must persevere in your calling and realize that the calling you have under God is full-time. It's with you.

It's like luggage, good luggage, right? You just put it up in the garage, it's always there. That's what motherhood and fatherhood is. It's always there.

And it's always in a good sense. But there is this overarching responsibility involved with all of this. You must labor to understand God's truth for yourself, law and gospel, in order to effectively communicate that to your children. You must guard against laziness.

One of the things that Proverbs 31, verse 27, she watches over the ways of her household, does not eat the bread of idleness. That doesn't mean she never sits down. Doesn't mean she doesn't have a coffee. Doesn't mean she doesn't raise her feet once a couple of times a day.

But laziness is not the earmark of her life. And as well, your children need your instruction. They need your example. They need your discipline.

Even if they don't like your discipline, they need your discipline. He who hates his son does not discipline him. But he who loves him disciplines him promptly. As well, you ought to be, and I want to say this carefully and graciously, you ought to be forever thankful for the gospel of our salvation.

Because on that day of judgment, when you stand before God Most High, it's not going to be, you've been a stellar mom, and as a result I'm going to let you into my kingdom. No, it's that Christ is a stellar Savior, that Christ's life and death and resurrection is the means by which you are going to heaven. Isn't that encouraging? That doesn't mean now you can just go lay at home and eat Oreos while your kids, you know, destroy the living room, because I'm going to heaven in Jesus.

But brethren, when we have this idea that the gospel is about salvation, I hope it tempers us in terms of realistic expectations in terms of our own life and approach. And then I want to encourage you ladies, and then we'll close. Notice in Proverbs 31 specifically, the encouragement given to such women is indicated in our text. Her husband encourages her.

Notice in verse 29, many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Now, guys, if you're too, you know, pious and sanctimonious to ever, you know, encourage your wife or praise your wife for fear that she'll get too proud, Change your ways. Praise your woman. Praise your bride.

Love her. Care for her. Tend to her. Encourage her.

In a world that shows this kind of animosity against womanhood in general, motherhood in particular, the sort of traditional wife view, I mean, probably some of you ladies, persons have asked you, what do you do for a living? Well, I stay at home and take care of my children. What's the typical response to that? Oh, great.

We need more mothers and wives at home. We need more muffins baked. We need more diapers changed. That's not typically the response.

You mean that's all you do? That's it? That's how you spend your time? The most noble calling in the world has been relegated to some 15th tier position in our society.

That is shameful, brethren. When Napoleon was asked, what can we do to help France? He said, we need better mothers. If there are wretches as mothers, if there are wretches as fathers, guess what?

The future generation most likely will default to wretches. Put good in, get good out. Put wretch in, get wretch out. That's pretty formulaic in God's moral universe.

Now there's grace that overcomes, there is grace that can correct, there is grace that can change, and we rejoice in that. But humanly speaking, brethren, We need to put in effort with reference to this race. Husbands, encourage your wives. Notice she's praised by her children.

Verse 28, her children rise up and call her blessed. Notice she's praised from her community. Verse 31, give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. This Gates reference is where the business was done.

This is where her husband would have been. This is where persons would have commented. She's a good wife. She's a blessing and a benefit.

There is great impetus in this to press onward in a manner that is consistent with what we find in scripture. And ultimately the praise from the Lord. Well done, good and faithful servant. You're not gonna be saved because of your mothering. but you're saved by grace, and the orbit of responsibility primarily is motherhood.

It is functioning in that capacity, and the Lord God Most High receives such into His kingdom on that day. So ladies, be encouraged. Be strengthened, and don't let your children get away with murder. Don't let your children reject, resist, and oppose.

Rather, understand you've got influence, and understand you're clothed with authority to enforce the Word of God in your home. And now if you've listened properly, you'll know no one's saved by their mothering. No one's saved by their childing. We're saved by grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

So if you're not a believer here this morning, perhaps you're not a mother. Perhaps you'll never be a mother because you're a man. Again, something challenged today in society that we're even here, pregnant man emoji on the phone. Are these people nuts?

But with reference to that, you may not be directly affected by this sermon, but listen to this, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved. Well, let us pray.

Closing Prayer

Our Father in heaven, we thank you for your word. We thank you for your glory. We thank you for the word of God and for the instruction that it gives to us in terms of law and gospel. And I pray for the sisters in our church that they would be faithful that they would be persevering, that they would know your grace and nearness, and they would know that fear of the Lord.

As well, we pray for the ladies who are pregnant. We know that children are a gift given by you to your people. And we pray that you would just help us to be faithful in rearing them in the training and admonition of the Lord. And we ask these things through Christ our Lord.

Amen. We'll close by singing the doxology, page 568. And we'll stand together. He's come from whom all blessings flow, Raised in all regions here below. oh Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

Amen. Father, thank you for the Lord's day. Thank you for this opportunity to rest in our blessed God. We ask that you would go with us now.

We ask that you would be near us, help us to sanctify the day and to enjoy it and to call it a delight. And we ask these things through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. Well, please be seated for a brief time of meditation.

Scripture References

• Exodus 20
• Leviticus 19:3
• Deuteronomy 5
• Ruth 3:11
• 1 Samuel 2
• Psalm 58:3
• Proverbs 1:8; 3:7; 6:20; 8:13; 13:24; 14:26-27; 15:20; 19:18; 19:23; 19:26; 20:20; 20:30; 22:6; 22:15; 23:13-14; 23:22; 29:15; 29:17; 31:1; 31:10; 31:11; 31:12; 31:13; 31:27; 31:28-30; 31:31
• Jeremiah 32:38
• John 3:3
• Romans 3:10
• Ephesians 1:5; 1:13-14; 6:1-2
• Colossians 3:21
• Titus 2:3-5; 2:11
• Hebrews 2:17; 12
• James 1:18
• 2 Timothy 1
• 2 Peter 3:18