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Well, you can turn with me in
your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 31. As I was looking at the document
with the sermons on Proverbs, I noticed that we dealt with
the Christian husband and man, but not with the Christian mother.
We've dealt with this material in the past. This is by way of
review and hopefully encouragement to the mothers among us, encouragement
to the fathers among us to be thankful for the mothers among
us, and for any and all who are aspiring to marriage. If you're
a young man, this is the kind of woman you ought to be looking
for. If you're a young woman, this is the kind of woman you
ought to be. So I want to read beginning in Proverbs 31 at verse
10. Who can find a virtuous wife,
for her worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband safely
trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good
and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and
flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant's
ships. She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her
household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a
field and buys it. From her profits she plants a
vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens her
arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp
does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to
the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her
hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands
to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for
her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She
makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and
purple. Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen
garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength
and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to
come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is
the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of
her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children
rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises
her. Many daughters have done well,
but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty
is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise
her in the gates. Amen. Well, let us pray. Father
in heaven, we thank you for the written word of God. We thank
you that it speaks to all areas of faith and practice. We thank
you, Lord God, for the fact that you've ordained the family, that
you've given specific responsibilities and duties, that you've ordered,
that this is the way it ought to be in society. And all around
us, we see attacks on the family. We see it through sexual perversion.
We see it through divorce or unlawful divorce. We see it in
a whole scale of revolt against God's ordained institution. We
would pray that in our church, among us, we would seek to have
what Scripture says concerning these things. I pray for the
mothers in our congregation that you would encourage and strengthen
them, that you would help them to persevere, fighting the good
fight, and bringing glory and honor and praise unto you. Again,
fill us with your Holy Spirit as we investigate Holy Scripture,
and we pray through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. I saw recently
an article entitled, Ranking the Nine Toughest Leadership
Roles. It's in a Forbes magazine. Not
that I read Forbes, I actually saw it on Twitter, but I popped
on there to see. So, ranking the nine toughest
leadership roles. Number five was interesting.
Pastor, Rabbi, Mullah, or other holy leader. who goes by holy
leader, I just don't know, but number five was interesting.
But it's number one that was the concern for me. It's called
stay at home parent. And I would argue that that is
the most difficult task. A mother a woman in the home
is called upon to do just about everything, to do it well, and
very often it's a thankless job. And so I want to bring this by
way of encouragement, as I said, to the mothers, to the fathers,
to all of us, because we ought to be prayerful that these kinds
of women are brought up, these kinds of women are functioning
in society. Napoleon was once asked what
would benefit or what would help France, and he said, give us
stronger mothers. Now, when we look at Proverbs
chapter 31, it's a very intriguing passage. This section concerning
the virtuous wife. It is an acrostic. That means
that each verse begins with a letter of the alphabet and runs the
way through the Hebrew alphabet. Interestingly as well, in the
Hebrew canon, the book of Proverbs follows the book of Ruth. And
so, in many respects, Proverbs chapter 31 is a commentary upon
Ruth, or at least an amplification or an explanation of that particularly
godly woman. In Ruth 3.11, we read, "...for
all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman."
As I said, the Hebrew canon is structured, it's the same books,
but the order of the books differs from what we have in the English
canon. And as I said, Proverbs follows
Ruth, and I don't think that's accidental. As I said, we're
going to focus primarily on the Christian mother, but in terms
of the Christian woman, you'll notice in Proverbs that she's
very diligent. She's not lazy. She doesn't waste
time. In fact, if you look specifically
at verse 27b, it says she does not eat the bread of idleness. It shows us that she is a diligent
woman, as well as a wife. She is trustworthy to her husband. Notice in verse 11, the heart
of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack
of gain. She does good for her husband,
according to verse 12. She does him good and not evil
all the days of her life. Now that should be self-evident.
If you are covenanting with another person till death do us part,
you ought to be engaged. You ought to be involved, you
ought to be committed to doing good for the other person. That
to me seems like a no-brainer. You should never pursue marriage
if you're not involved or not committed to giving to that person
so that they can be everything that they need to be. If you
are simply a taker in a marriage relationship, you have misread
the Bible completely and you need to repent. So in terms of
her being a woman, she's diligent, she's spiritually minded, she's
self-controlled. With reference to her as a wife,
she's trustworthy, she does good for her husband. But as I said,
I want to focus primarily on verses 28 to 31 with reference
to the Christian mother. And there are four observations
I want to make this evening. First, her condition before God. Secondly, her influence over
her children. Thirdly, her authority over her
children. and then fourthly and finally
her responsibility toward her children. She is to function
the way God says. She is to function not the way
Facebook says, not the way Twitter says, not the way Instagram says,
but rather she is to take her marching orders from the Word
of God. But note in the first place her
condition before God. Verse 28 tells us, Her children
rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises
her. He says, many daughters have
done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty
is passing, but notice, a woman who fears the Lord, she shall
be praised. I don't care who you are, I don't
care how handsome you are as a man, or how gorgeous you are
as a woman, that's going to change. The law of entropy is a reality. Aging is a reality. And you don't
always have the same appearance later on in life that you have
previous. And that's what Solomon, or rather
King Lemuel, highlights here with reference to that lasting
and abiding virtue and fruit. But a woman who fears Yahweh,
She shall be praised. Charm is deceitful, beauty is
passing, but the thing that stays, the thing that is constant, the
thing that is most sought after by godly people is the fear of
Yahweh. So she is a woman who is saved
by grace. This morning we considered the
fall of man into sin. We considered the punishment
consistent with that fall into sin. And one text that came up,
or at least it was mentioned, was in Romans chapter 3. And
in Romans chapter 3, the Apostle Paul highlights the problem with
mankind. Romans 1.18, he says, the wrath
of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness
of men who suppress the truth and unrighteousness. And then
he makes his case all the way up to chapter 3 at verse 20.
Well, in that section in chapter 3, beginning at around verse
9, he reaches into the Old Testament to corroborate his argument.
And one of the texts that he appeals to says, there is no
fear of God before their eyes. Now a woman who fears the Lord,
she was taught the fear of the Lord by the Lord Himself. The
prophet Jeremiah envisioning the New Covenant era, God through
that prophet says, I will put my fear in their hearts so that
they will not depart from me. So we can conclude with reference
to this Christian mother, She has known the gracious provision
of God in the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. When we look in
the New Testament document, we see this close connection between
a gracious salvation and then the fruit with reference to that
is godliness in the sight of the Lord. Notice in Titus 2,
a very specific and concrete example with reference to Christian
motherhood. Titus chapter 2, you can turn
there. Titus 2, beginning in verse 1,
"...as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine,
that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in
faith and love and patience, the older women likewise, that
they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to
much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young
women, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be
discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands. Now notice that the Word of God
may not be blaspheme. In other words, if women aren't
doing what they're supposed to be doing, the Word of God is
blaspheme. We can extend that and say if men aren't doing what
they're supposed to be doing, the Word of God may be blasphemed."
So this practical Christianity, this practical outworking of
the grace of God in our lives is connected to the gospel. In
other words, it's not that we're saved because we're good mothers,
it's that we're good mothers because we're saved. That's the
connection. Notice in verse 11, he says,
"...for the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared
to all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly
lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the
present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing
of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself
for us, that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and
purify for himself his own special people, zealous for good works.
The types of good works that Paul's already mentioned previously
to Timothy. That husbands be this way, that
fathers be this way, that men be this way, that women be this
way. It is connected to the gospel
in the sense that it's a consequence of us having been saved. And
that's the reality for this Christian mother. Now, notice back in the
text, she not only has been saved by grace, but she walks with
the Lord. She walks with the Lord. This
idea that a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Notice,
in the book of Proverbs, this emphasis upon walking with the
Lord. You can turn to Proverbs chapter
3. Proverbs chapter 3. Excuse me. Verse 7. Do not be
wise in your own eyes, Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It
will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones. Same thing in Proverbs 8, 13.
It says, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance
in the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate. So she fears the
Lord, which indicates she's been conquered by the grace of God,
but she also walks with the Lord and that indicates, or that is
with respect to her conduct, her conversation, her orientation,
the way that she lives her life. Turn over to Proverbs 14 and
verse 26. In the fear of the Lord there
is strong confidence and his children will have a place of
refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain
of life to turn one away from the snares of death. In other
words, their conduct, their conversation, their orientation will be dictated
by this commitment to fearing God. And then again in Proverbs
19 at verse 23, the fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who
has it will abide in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. It's not just men who need to
study the Bible and theology. It's not just men who need to
grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ. Every single woman, whether you're
a mother or not, No matter if you're old or young or whatever
your situation is, you are called on specifically to grow in the
grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
This Saturday morning meeting is not for men. It's not just
a men's meeting. Women are welcome to come. Wednesday
night, it's not just for men. Women are more than invited to
come. You need to avail yourselves
of the means that God has ordained for the growth of your soul.
A woman who fears the Lord has been conquered by the grace of
God, and she walks or conducts herself in that particular way
each and every day, growing. maturing, understanding Scripture,
learning the connections, understanding the doctrine of the Trinity,
learning justification by faith alone. It's unfortunate that
this even needs to be emphasized, but there seems to be, at least
within the Reformed world, this idea that the man is the head
of the household, is the only one who has to grow in grace
and knowledge, and then he'll just permeate that down to everybody. Now, the man as the head of the
household does have a particular responsibility, but that does
not mitigate the responsibility for you ladies picking up your
Bibles and reading, for you ladies coming to church and listening
to preaching, you ladies making time out of your busy day or
week to listen to sermons and to grow and to understand the
connection with reference to God's truth. Now, secondly, she
has a particular influence over her children. That is given to
her by the law of God. That is given to her by the law
of God. Obviously, the Decalogue, the
Ten Commandments, both Exodus and Deuteronomy, but look specifically
at Leviticus chapter 19. Leviticus chapter 19. Very imperative
that you see this, ladies. You have influence over your
children because you have been given it by God Most High. The fifth commandment demands
that the children honor, respect, and obey not just their father,
but father and mother. And intriguingly, in Leviticus
19 at verse 3, every one of you shall revere... Notice, mother
comes first. Every one of you shall revere
his mother and his father and keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord
your God. Turn over to Deuteronomy 21.
Deuteronomy chapter 21. Again, just highlighting the
influence given by God to mothers over their children. Deuteronomy
21, beginning in verse 18. This is an instance of what's
called the rebellious or incorrigible son. And in verse 18, we read,
if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice
of his father or the voice of his mother, You see, there's
these ideas out there that the Bible does not treat women with
respect and with equality and with dignity. Well, those ideas
are false. They are incorrect. They are
unholy and ungodly. We see that the Bible does afford
respect to the mother along with the father. And just by way of
a real practical observation, this is not your two-year-old
who doesn't eat his peas. The Bible is not telling you
to execute your rebel two-year-old. Notice the description of this
incorrigible son. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious
son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of
his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not
heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of
him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate
of his city. And they shall say to the elders
of this city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He
will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard.
This isn't a two-year-old. This isn't the terrible twos.
Take him to the elders of the city and have him stoned. No,
absolutely, positively not. This is an adult son who is a
rebel. And that rebellion is seen in
his gluttony and in his drunkenness. and he has been impressed upon
by his parents. They have chastened him. They
have disciplined him. They have sought to correct his
attitude and his way of life, and yet to no avail. So as the
final straw, you deliver him over to the elders, and this
son is ultimately capitally punished as a result of his waywardness
and his sinfulness. And then in the Proverbs themselves,
you see that influence given by God to mothers over their
children. Proverbs 1, verse 8. My son, hear the instruction
of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Proverbs 6, verse 20. My son, keep your father's command
and do not forsake the law of your mother. And then in Proverbs
31, verse 1. The words of King Lemuel, the
utterance which his mother taught him. It's a beautiful thing,
isn't it? We have incorporated in the Word
of God things that King Lemuel's mother taught him. C. H. Spurgeon speaks to the influence
of parents over their children. He says, fathers and mothers
are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of
their children. It's a beautiful idea, beautiful
concept. If you have not arrived at that
concept as a parent, you need to. You need to establish a family
altar. You need to have family worship.
You need to teach your children the Word of God. And you need
to bring your children to the house of God. That is your responsibility. You have a great deal of influence
over these little ones. He says, I am sure that in my
early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon
my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive
that to any child there can be one who will have such influence
over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for
her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as
not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's
blot. Never could it be possible for
any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. How can I
ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from
the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent. Others
might not think so, but they certainly were eloquent to me.
How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms
about my neck prayed, O that my son might live before thee?
You have a great deal of influence over your children. That influence
can be exercised for ill, but it can certainly be exercised
for good. And obviously, this woman in
Proverbs 31, who fears the Lord, is exercising it for good. Now, notice thirdly, she not
only has influence, but she has authority over her children. She has influence because she
has this authority. Again, the fifth commandment,
but then notice in Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter
6, the Apostle Paul engaging in sort of a household code,
the way that the people of God ought to conduct themselves and
their various relationships in life, speaks specifically to
father and mother, or to children with reference to father and
mother. Ephesians 6, 1. Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Again, not just
your father, but your parents, your father and your mother. Honor your father and mother,
which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be
well with you and you may live long on the earth. And then there's
a particular word to fathers, and you fathers do not provoke
your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition
of the Lord. You see, the emphasis of scripture
is this, we are saved by the grace of God. When we are saved
by the grace of God, we receive the forgiveness of sins, we receive
the righteousness of Jesus Christ, we are now called to conduct
ourselves in the various aspects of our lives as godly men and
women. as those who fear Yahweh. And
children are told to respect and to honor both father and
mother. There's a particular fellow named
Dalma that has a book on the Ten Commandments. It's published
by PNR. For the most part, it's pretty
good. And one of the things that he mentions here with reference
to the fifth word, He says, mentioning the mother is no afterthought,
for she deserves to be treated with as much respect as the father.
Practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's
physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her
word. Now, that concept I saw played
out in my youth. not my mom, she was always taller
than me. But I had a particular friend
that had a very short mother. And this particular friend was
a bit of an incorrigible son. And there would be those instances
or times where you could just see she was seething mad. But he was taller, which also
would kind of intimidate her. And that always stuck in my head,
like, dude, you shouldn't do that. And that wasn't coming
from a commitment to the fifth commandment. It wasn't coming
from any sort of evangelical obedience to the word of God.
It just didn't seem right. It just didn't seem right that
a man would exercise a sort of an intimidation factor over his
own mother. That's just not the way it's
supposed to be. But all that to say, that can
happen, and I think that's what Dauma is speaking to. Again,
back to his quote, practice demonstrates that children can misuse the
fact that a mother's physical condition often renders her less
able to enforce her word. She is physically the weaker
parent. Now, I'm assuming that everybody's not going to lose
it, that everybody's not going to freak out. The Bible says
that the women are the weaker vessel. I assume you all accept
that. I mean, the strongest woman in
here and the weakest man, if they bench press, it would probably
be the case that the weakest man would beat the strongest
woman. That's just physiology. They out there want to tell us
that physiology doesn't matter. But everybody knows that it does.
Everybody knows that it does. They are trying to cut against
the grain. They are trying to do something
that is absolutely insane. And the insanity at some point
has to stop, and it certainly should never be given vent in
the Church of Jesus Christ. The woman is the weaker vessel. Peter says that under inspiration
of the Holy Spirit. That doesn't mean they're bad.
It doesn't mean they're terrible. It doesn't mean they're wicked.
It just means that in God's design, out of the two, he made one to
be a bit stronger. That's his prerogative as creator. We don't have the right to try
to change that. We don't have the right to try
to usurp that. We only have the responsibility
to accept that. That's where we're at as the
people of God. So back to Delma. He says, she
is physically the weaker parent, but the fifth commandment clearly
requires respect for both father and mother. Children must honor
their mother even when she is physically and physiologically
declining. Do not despise your mother when
she is old. Proverbs 23, 22. The Bible presents
a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband
takes the lead. But children must show equal
honor to both mother and father. Absolutely, positively crucial. And men, by your example, you
better teach this to your kids. Respect her, fear her, love her,
even when she is old. If you treat your wives like
garbage, don't ever come down on your sons for treating their
mother like garbage. If that's what they've witnessed,
if that's what they have seen displayed, shame on you as men. You revere her, you esteem her,
you prize her, so that your sons rise up and they cherish their
mother. They love and esteem their mother,
and they would never think about intimidating their mother. Man,
we have a great responsibility to teach this in our homes. And
then finally, with reference to this woman who fears the Lord,
she has a responsibility toward her children. Her responsibility
is not just keeping them alive. just making sure they get food
and water, just making sure they have a coat, just making sure
they have warmth. It goes beyond that. Certainly,
that's part of it. You have to keep them alive.
You have to give them water. You have to give them food. You
have to make sure they're warm. You have to do those sorts of
things. But your responsibility goes beyond that. And this is
what Solomon addresses throughout the book of Proverbs. In the
first place, she's supposed to instruct them. I've already highlighted
Proverbs 1.8 and Proverbs 6.20. What is she doing? She's teaching
the law of God to her children. She is teaching them. She's instructing
them. She is bringing Scripture to
bear on their hearts. Again, it's the husband, the
father's primary responsibility, but typically, in normal situations,
he's gone 50, 60 hours out of the week. The mother has the
direct impact upon the children, and she ought not to be lazy.
She ought to be teaching that word of God. Secondly, she needs
to set an example for her children. Set an example. Look at Proverbs
22, verse 6, a very familiar passage. to all of us. Proverbs
22 verse 6, train up a child in the way he should go and when
he is old he will not depart from it. Listen to Bridges on
this passage. He says, the mere talk to a child
about religion without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits
and self-willed tempers is utterly ineffective. None of us lives
to himself alone. We're all spreading around us
an influence, whether for good or for evil. Here, therefore,
in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If
the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this
is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other,
beckoning with the hand to heaven, and at the same time taking him
by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would
receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? That's a
great point. Who would receive even the choicest
food from a leprous hand? You'd say, no thank you, I'm
not hungry anymore. Well, that's the way it is with
reference to our instruction, devoid of any example. He says
a child learns more by the eye than by the ear. Imitation is
far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child
gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture
to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks
for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery in parental
example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, that was
a long quote. You may not have got it all.
Email me. I'd be happy to send it to you. Better yet, buy Proverbs
by Charles Bridges and read it. Read every passage in that book
concerning child rearing by Charles Bridges. It is brilliant. It
is excellent. It is wonderful. That's what
God requires, or not by bridges, but the whole idea of growing
in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ. It might mean spending $20 on a book. It might mean
spending 20 minutes a day reading a book. It might mean that little
bit of personal discipline so that you're able to do what God
calls you to do with reference to your children. You have a
responsibility to them beyond getting them a coat. Thirdly,
with reference to responsibility, she is to discipline her children. She is to discipline her children. There is a necessity to verbally
reprove sinful children. It's not belittling, it's not
shouting, it's not screaming them down, it's not throwing
things at them. But brethren, you know as well
as I do, if you have children, discipline is a vital component
in rearing them. You do not want bedlam in your
homes. You don't want mayhem in your
homes. You don't want chaos in your
homes. Well, God's given you recourse. God's given you authority. God's
given you a plan. And God's given you an entire
book. in the book of Proverbs on how to deal with your children. So please take it and read it
and pray it in and do what God commands with reference to rearing
these precious little ones. I mean, is there anything more
encouraging than to see all these babies? I mean, come on! What a blessing! It comes up
in prayer meeting from time to time. On the one hand, we're
praying that God would deal with our society and its madness with
reference to aborting babies, killing, murdering babies. I
mean, that that it happens, you know, conception is reprehensible. Now it's happening outside the
womb in terms of infanticide. But we always have that blessed
privilege of praying for a handful of ladies that are pregnant.
We have the blessed privilege to see these little ones come
in these baskets, you know, these new carriers that are all fancy.
You just click them into the car. They bring them in. They're
gorgeous. They're wonderful. They smell good. They feel good. You just want to roll around
on the floor when they're a little bit older. I mean, everything
about children is fantastic. Let's rear them in a manner that
is consistent with God's holy word. Brethren, you don't just
let them lie and hopefully they figure it out on their own. You
know, this madness again with the whole gender thing. Well,
we're going to just let him or let it pick its gender? Come
on. Let's just stop now. It's not
even funny anymore. No one ever saw this coming.
It's just madness. We're going to raise it and let
it pick its gender? And then the church doesn't want
to speak out against this? Come on! It's madness out there! But in here, we love babies. In here, we kiss them. In here,
we cuddle them. In here, we hold them. And in
here, we rear them the way God says, which means that if they
get out of line, God's provided a means by which to restrain
those unholy passions. If you are not using those means,
then repent. If you are not using those means,
then start using them. You're not doing anybody any
favors, least of all the kid, but then anybody unfortunate
enough to be in their lives when they're adults. If they have
not been reared faithfully, if they have not been taught discipline,
if they have not been taught self-control, there's going to
be a pain to potential spouses and others in their lives. I
think we have a responsibility, not just to receive these gifts
from God, but to do with these gifts what God says. Imagine
handing your kid a gift, and it's a beautiful thing, and he
goes and he breaks it. No, I didn't give it to you to break it. I
gave it to you to play with. Well, God gives us these beautiful
gifts. We don't just leave them there, and hopefully they figure
everything out. We teach them. We discipline
them. We exhort them. We encourage
them. We bring them to church. We expose them to the means of
grace. That's our job, at least for the 18, 20, 25 years that
we have those kids at our home. Anything beyond that, everybody
needs to repent. I'm sorry. It's not funny when
your kids are little you can never envision the day. Oh, I
don't ever want my kids to leave I remember saying, you know,
I don't ever want my daughters to get married man by 18 19 20 Have
you met a guy yet? Can we expedite this? It's just
a natural phase of life sort of thing God's designed it in
a beautiful way because you're supposed to take those arrows
out of your quiver and you're supposed to launch them into
the enemy territory and let them do their damage and They're not
supposed to just huddle around hearth and home. They're supposed
to be trained and mobilized and sent out to go out and do what
God calls them to do. It's a beautiful and a wonderful
thing. And brethren, we need to accept the responsibility
that is ours and quit shirking it, if that is our custom, and
embrace what God's Word says. And I mean this in the most encouraging
way to you dear mothers out there, so please take it. that way.
Well, in conclusion, just some thoughts, and then we'll close.
First of all, there is a need for such women. There is a need
for such women. Martin Luther, which was a very
intriguing, interesting fellow. If you don't know a whole lot
about Martin Luther, he had been a papist, obviously, a papist
priest, so he never got married. And then he started getting the
truth about Christianity, and about doctrine, and about justification,
and about marriage. And he married a woman, Katie.
Katie von Bora, I think, was her name, wasn't it? And Katie
had a tough job, because Luther was basically an unkempt fellow. I don't think he changed his
sheets for years. He had different physical issues and problems.
I'm sure the first day Katie stepped foot in that house, it
was a cleaning job like no other. But Luther grew in his love and
affection for this woman, and she did for him, and it was just
one of those marriages that was most blessed of God. But Luther
said, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who
fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect
confidence. Bruce Waltke, a more modern commentator,
says the rhetorical question, who can find? That's how it starts
off, Proverbs 31.10. Who can find a virtuous wife?
Who can find this? What does that indicate? What
does that imply? Dudes are looking for it. Guys want to find this. That's what Waltke says. The
rhetorical question, who can find, aims to awaken within the
audience the desire to find such a wife or to be like her. Matthew Henry says, this description
of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women
should make and what wives the men should choose. You young
dudes, you shouldn't be looking at whatever to find a wife. You
should be reading this and praying to God to give you this. You
young women shouldn't be reading whatever, you know, the magazines
are saying on how to prepare for a guy. You should have your
face in scripture and be praying that God Almighty makes you this
kind of woman. Women pursue this. Men pursue
this if you're not married. If you are married, encourage
your wife to be this particular woman. And the way that you encourage
is not by belittling her, not by upbraiding her, not by mocking
her, not by insulting her, but by coming alongside of her and
encouraging her. Don't hear sermons like this
and have a night tonight and say, you know, honey, you really
aren't like that Proverbs 31 woman. You're pretty terrible.
I mean, you got the giving them food and the giving them drink
down. But beyond that, it's just terrible. Dudes, if you lead
your wives that way, there's no counsel in the world that's
going to help you. That's just folly. Try some encouragement. Try some love. Try some kindness. Try some example in your own
life. That's the way you bring these
things to pass. Secondly, notice in the text
the encouragement given to such women. the encouragement given
to such women from her husband. It says her husband also, and
he praises her. And he says, many daughters have
done well, but you excel them all. He's not suggesting that
every other woman out there is terrible. But what he is saying
is that you're the best, honey. You are the chief among 10,000
in terms of the created realm. Christ is only that in terms
of everything. But as far as women go, you excel them all. You encourage the wife. That's
what we see emphasized in this particular passage. I remember
years ago, reading a book by a fellow I can't really recommend
now. But in this particular instance, he said something very perceptive.
He said, you know, sometimes a woman has had a hard day. She
might have little kids. She might have had a busy day.
The kids were not the way they should have been. Dinner isn't
on time. He comes home from work. And
the last thing she needs is a lecture. She doesn't need a lecture on
time management. Now, some of us think that's the way to do
it, but we're wrong. You know, honey, if you got up
earlier. You know, honey, if you didn't
have coffee. You know, honey, if you stayed off Facebook. You
know, honey, if you controlled the kids. You know, honey, if
you started to... She may need that eventually, but she doesn't
need it right now. She needs a hug. She needs encouragement. She needs you to pick up the
phone and order a pizza. She needs that. You see, men,
you are involved in this whole process. You know, you cannot
complain, oh, my wife is terrible. Well, I'd always ask the question,
how are you? Are you the kind of guy that,
I mean, guys that say my wife is terrible typically aren't
the kind of guys that are the godliest of all. Because godly
men don't say things like, my wife is terrible. Godly men pray. Godly men exemplify. Godly men
encourage. Godly men exhort. Godly men help
their wives to not be terrible. They don't complain about them
being terrible. From her children. Notice what
her children do, according to verse 28a. Her children rise
up and call her blessed. It's a beautiful thing. Her children
don't hate her. Her children don't despise her.
Her children don't say, you know, when I was four and I wanted
something at Walmart and you wouldn't give it to me and you
disciplined me. How dare... No, they never do
that. See, that's the intriguing thing
about disciplining your children. See, the prevailing wisdom of
the world is if you do that, you're going to crush them, and
they're going to hate you. We disciplined our children. They
don't hate us. I don't think they hate us. They seem to love
us. They seem to like us. They come around still. They've
not looked like it. They've got some emotional defects,
or they need time to sort of be debriefed from the wretched
upbringing that they had. It's a lie, brethren. It's a
lie from the pit. The devil doesn't want you to
discipline your children, because the devil wants your children
to just follow their own hearts. Well, our job is to make them
not follow their own hearts, because their hearts are deceitful
above all things and desperately wicked. They need to follow the
Lord Jesus Christ from her community. The community praises her, not
probably the way in which we are thinking, but it tells us
that let her own works praise her in the gates. Let her own
works praise her in the gates. If you're familiar with the concept
in the Old Testament, gates were where the business was done.
Gates was the city hall. Gates is where the men, you know,
gathered together to do the business of the city. And her works are
heard of. Her works are commended in the
gates. In other words, the things that
she has done are seen as positive contributions, not only to her
husband, not only to her children, but to society at large. I've
often thought that we in our Western world are so wretched
when it comes to the stay-at-home mom. Oh, you're just a stay-at-home
mom. Is there a more important job
on the face of the earth than to raise human beings? There really isn't. Splitting
the atom. Come on. If you women are faithful
in your task, you will do far more for society than every liberal
Democrat politician and probably most of the conservatives out
there as well. You take one good arrow and you
let it fly into society. You may have raised a C.H. Spurgeon.
You may have raised a George Whitefield. You may have raised
a John Calvin. You may have raised none of those
guys, but faithful men that do what they're supposed to do and
contribute the way God says to. I just, oh, you know, it's almost
an embarrassment. I'm a stay-at-home mom. The hardest
job in the world that should get paid a whole lot more than
any CEO of any company. That article, that Forbes article,
ladies, you're going to love this. There was a, I don't know,
algorithm, formula. You know, most typical mothers,
what they should make if they were paid in the workforce would
be about $100,000 a year. That's U.S. dollars. This is Forbes.
This ain't Canadian dollars. This is U.S. This is greenback.
That's money, right? What's the article? Forbes magazine
recognized it, that to raise human beings is a tough job.
Doesn't that just scream obvious? We all know that. And yet today,
oh, you're just a stay-at-home mom. I don't want to say I want
to smack people that say that, but I do want to smack people
that say that. Just a stay-at-home mom? What's
more important than raising humans? There's not. There's just not.
And then finally, some specific exhortations to the ladies in
our church. First, you must constantly maintain
dependence upon God, His word and prayer, both privately and
corporately. But can I tell you something?
Psalm 103 is true for you as well. He knows your frame and
He pities you because He knows your dust. It's always intrigued
me. If I preach a sermon, for instance,
on you need to be watchful, you need to be careful, you need
to be prayerful, you need to make sure that you're not faking
yourself, that you're actually a believer when you're not, it's
the sensitive souls that typically are the ones that are struck.
The people that you're really going after in sermons like that,
they don't even hear it. It's the sensitive souls that
say, oh. And it's usually moms with five to 10 little kids.
I didn't have a chance to read my Bible on Thursday. God knows
your frame. He pities you and He knows your
dust. He knows when kids have blowouts
in their diapers. He knows when things burn. He
knows when all this stuff happens and you didn't get your requisite
30 minutes to read your Bible and pray. I mean, that ought
to be the goal each and every day, set apart time and private.
It may mean getting up a little early. It may mean staying up
a little bit late. It may mean a bit of self-discipline
to get that time. But if something happens, mayhem
breaks out, that's the way life is. Okay? May I just encourage
you? This isn't bondage. If you don't
read 15 minutes a day, you cannot call yourself a woman who fears
Yahweh. No, I'm not saying that. Secondly,
you must not forsake God's Word in child-rearing. God calls the
shots. They're ultimately gods. The
earth is Yahweh's and the fullness thereof. He owns them. He made them. He has given us
stewardship of them. It's our task to take his word
seriously and to put it into practice. Third, I would suggest
you must realize that your task is difficult, oftentimes thankless,
and mostly underappreciated by just about everyone. I know that
sounds pretty negative, but if you're a mom here, you're probably
going, that's right. That's true. In that Forbes article,
after kind of highlighting the various positions, the guy says,
and then the little ingrates grow up, and they move out and
leave you all on your own. That's sort of a thing. It's
just the way it is. There's not a lot of thanks and
appreciation. I mean, think about it, kids.
When was the last time you actually said to your mom, thank you for
all of the sacrifices you make for me? When was the last time,
Mom, you had a hot meal? When was the last time, Mom,
you had any kindness? I mean, think about it, kids.
I'm not picking on you, but just think about it. When was the
last time you actually said to your mother? That's who we're
specifically focusing on. You should say it to your fathers
as well. But when was the last time you actually said, thank
you? Thank you for getting up before me. Thank you for staying
up after me. Thank you for making sure I have
clothes. Thank you for making sure I have water. Thank you
for making sure I have food. Thank you for making sure I have
a jacket. Thank you that I'm not freezing. Thank you that
all those things are looked after. Thank you, Dad, that you take
me to church. Thank you that you opened the scriptures for
me. Thank you that you point me to the Lord Jesus. And again,
you may be that kid that does that all the time. Your parents
are very thankful for that. But for the most part, it's a
thankless job. It's just a thankless job. And
I don't know how to make that any nicer, but other than to
say, God sees your labors and God approves. You must ultimately
realize that you have to persevere in your calling and understand
that it's full-time, multifaceted, that is of the utmost importance. The utmost importance. You can't
slack off. You can't give up. You can't
say, I'm done. I mean, there might be times
where you get that vibe or that impression or whatever. Maybe
go take a nap or take a walk or tell your husband you need
something, but you can't give up. Full-time. It's an amazing
thing to me. We have these babies, and we
love these babies, and then we realize they don't stay babies,
and it actually requires a great deal of work. I've often said
they're much easier when they're in diapers than when they're
15. Diapers are a whole lot more manageable than Nikes and Reeboks
and all that sort of thing. It's work. It's hard. How do you do it? you're dependent
upon the Lord. And you must labor to understand
God's truth, not only law, but gospel, so that you can pass
that information on to your children. Well, I hope that these things
are encouraging. I hope that all of you, by God's
grace, will fear the Lord. He puts the fear of God in your
hearts, and then you walk with the Lord. Whatever you're calling,
if you're a woman who has children, if you're a man who has children,
if you're single as a man, you're single as a woman, the circumstances
may change in terms of the particulars, but the overarching general things
do not. It's conquered by the grace of
God. It's walking in the things of
God. Well, let us close in a word
of prayer. Father, we thank you that your
Word speaks to such things, and I pray that this Word would encourage
the mothers in our church, to persevere and to see the great
calling that they are called with. And God, give them grace
to persevere in this, give them grace to take seriously their
responsibility before God, to take seriously what scripture
says concerning child rearing. And may they, by grace, do these
things that are pleasing in your sight. And again, we pray for
our children, for our young people, We know that children are a gift
from you, God, and help us to receive that gift well, help
us to utilize it properly, and help us to bring them up in the
training and the admonition of the Lord. And we pray this through
Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.