Well, you can turn with me in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 31. As I was looking at the document with the sermons on Proverbs, I noticed that we dealt with the Christian husband and man, but not with the Christian mother. We've dealt with this material in the past. This is by way of review and hopefully encouragement to the mothers among us, encouragement to the fathers among us to be thankful for the mothers among us, and for any and all who are aspiring to marriage.
If you're a young man, this is the kind of woman you ought to be looking for. If you're a young woman, this is the kind of woman you ought to be. So I want to read beginning in Proverbs 31 at verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife, for her worth is far above rubies?
The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant's ships.
She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it. From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor.
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. Amen. Well, let us pray.
Opening Prayer
Father in heaven, we thank you for the written word of God. We thank you that it speaks to all areas of faith and practice. We thank you, Lord God, for the fact that you've ordained the family, that you've given specific responsibilities and duties, that you've ordered, that this is the way it ought to be in society. And all around us, we see attacks on the family.
We see it through sexual perversion. We see it through divorce or unlawful divorce. We see it in a whole scale of revolt against God's ordained institution. We would pray that in our church, among us, we would seek to have what Scripture says concerning these things.
I pray for the mothers in our congregation that you would encourage and strengthen them, that you would help them to persevere, fighting the good fight, and bringing glory and honor and praise unto you. Again, fill us with your Holy Spirit as we investigate Holy Scripture, and we pray through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Introduction
I saw recently an article entitled, Ranking the Nine Toughest Leadership Roles. It's in a Forbes magazine. Not that I read Forbes, I actually saw it on Twitter, but I popped on there to see. So, ranking the nine toughest leadership roles.
Number five was interesting. Pastor, Rabbi, Mullah, or other holy leader. who goes by holy leader, I just don't know, but number five was interesting. But it's number one that was the concern for me. It's called stay at home parent.
And I would argue that that is the most difficult task. A mother a woman in the home is called upon to do just about everything, to do it well, and very often it's a thankless job. And so I want to bring this by way of encouragement, as I said, to the mothers, to the fathers, to all of us, because we ought to be prayerful that these kinds of women are brought up, these kinds of women are functioning in society. Napoleon was once asked what would benefit or what would help France, and he said, give us stronger mothers.
Now, when we look at Proverbs chapter 31, it's a very intriguing passage. This section concerning the virtuous wife. It is an acrostic. That means that each verse begins with a letter of the alphabet and runs the way through the Hebrew alphabet.
Interestingly as well, in the Hebrew canon, the book of Proverbs follows the book of Ruth. And so, in many respects, Proverbs chapter 31 is a commentary upon Ruth, or at least an amplification or an explanation of that particularly godly woman. In Ruth 3.11, we read, "...for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman." As I said, the Hebrew canon is structured, it's the same books, but the order of the books differs from what we have in the English canon. And as I said, Proverbs follows Ruth, and I don't think that's accidental.
As I said, we're going to focus primarily on the Christian mother, but in terms of the Christian woman, you'll notice in Proverbs that she's very diligent. She's not lazy. She doesn't waste time. In fact, if you look specifically at verse 27b, it says she does not eat the bread of idleness.
It shows us that she is a diligent woman, as well as a wife. She is trustworthy to her husband. Notice in verse 11, the heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does good for her husband, according to verse 12.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Now that should be self-evident. If you are covenanting with another person till death do us part, you ought to be engaged. You ought to be involved, you ought to be committed to doing good for the other person.
That to me seems like a no-brainer. You should never pursue marriage if you're not involved or not committed to giving to that person so that they can be everything that they need to be. If you are simply a taker in a marriage relationship, you have misread the Bible completely and you need to repent. So in terms of her being a woman, she's diligent, she's spiritually minded, she's self-controlled.
With reference to her as a wife, she's trustworthy, she does good for her husband. But as I said, I want to focus primarily on verses 28 to 31 with reference to the Christian mother. And there are four observations I want to make this evening. First, her condition before God.
Secondly, her influence over her children. Thirdly, her authority over her children. and then fourthly and finally her responsibility toward her children. She is to function the way God says. She is to function not the way Facebook says, not the way Twitter says, not the way Instagram says, but rather she is to take her marching orders from the Word of God.
But
Her Condition Before God
note in the first place her condition before God. Verse 28 tells us, Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. He says, many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but notice, a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
I don't care who you are, I don't care how handsome you are as a man, or how gorgeous you are as a woman, that's going to change. The law of entropy is a reality. Aging is a reality. And you don't always have the same appearance later on in life that you have previous.
And that's what Solomon, or rather King Lemuel, highlights here with reference to that lasting and abiding virtue and fruit. But a woman who fears Yahweh, She shall be praised. Charm is deceitful, beauty is passing, but the thing that stays, the thing that is constant, the thing that is most sought after by godly people is the fear of Yahweh. So she is a woman who is saved by grace.
This morning we considered the fall of man into sin. We considered the punishment consistent with that fall into sin. And one text that came up, or at least it was mentioned, was in Romans chapter 3. And in Romans chapter 3, the Apostle Paul highlights the problem with mankind.
Romans 1.18, he says, the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth and unrighteousness. And then he makes his case all the way up to chapter 3 at verse 20. Well, in that section in chapter 3, beginning at around verse 9, he reaches into the Old Testament to corroborate his argument. And one of the texts that he appeals to says, there is no fear of God before their eyes.
Now a woman who fears the Lord, she was taught the fear of the Lord by the Lord Himself. The prophet Jeremiah envisioning the New Covenant era, God through that prophet says, I will put my fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from me. So we can conclude with reference to this Christian mother, She has known the gracious provision of God in the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. When we look in the New Testament document, we see this close connection between a gracious salvation and then the fruit with reference to that is godliness in the sight of the Lord.
Notice in Titus 2, a very specific and concrete example with reference to Christian motherhood. Titus chapter 2, you can turn there. Titus 2, beginning in verse 1, "...as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine, that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith and love and patience, the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands. Now notice that the Word of God may not be blaspheme.
In other words, if women aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing, the Word of God is blaspheme. We can extend that and say if men aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing, the Word of God may be blasphemed." So this practical Christianity, this practical outworking of the grace of God in our lives is connected to the gospel. In other words, it's not that we're saved because we're good mothers, it's that we're good mothers because we're saved. That's the connection.
Notice in verse 11, he says, "...for the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself his own special people, zealous for good works. The types of good works that Paul's already mentioned previously to Timothy. That husbands be this way, that fathers be this way, that men be this way, that women be this way. It is connected to the gospel in the sense that it's a consequence of us having been saved.
And that's the reality for this Christian mother. Now, notice back in the text,
Saved by Grace, Walking with the Lord
she not only has been saved by grace, but she walks with the Lord. She walks with the Lord. This idea that a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Notice, in the book of Proverbs, this emphasis upon walking with the Lord.
You can turn to Proverbs chapter 3. Proverbs chapter 3. Excuse me. Verse 7.
Do not be wise in your own eyes, Fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones. Same thing in Proverbs 8, 13. It says, the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance in the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.
So she fears the Lord, which indicates she's been conquered by the grace of God, but she also walks with the Lord and that indicates, or that is with respect to her conduct, her conversation, her orientation, the way that she lives her life. Turn over to Proverbs 14 and verse 26. In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence and his children will have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life to turn one away from the snares of death.
In other words, their conduct, their conversation, their orientation will be dictated by this commitment to fearing God. And then again in Proverbs 19 at verse 23, the fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. It's not just men who need to study the Bible and theology.
It's not just men who need to grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Every single woman, whether you're a mother or not, No matter if you're old or young or whatever your situation is, you are called on specifically to grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This Saturday morning meeting is not for men. It's not just a men's meeting.
Women are welcome to come. Wednesday night, it's not just for men. Women are more than invited to come. You need to avail yourselves of the means that God has ordained for the growth of your soul.
A woman who fears the Lord has been conquered by the grace of God, and she walks or conducts herself in that particular way each and every day, growing. maturing, understanding Scripture, learning the connections, understanding the doctrine of the Trinity, learning justification by faith alone. It's unfortunate that this even needs to be emphasized, but there seems to be, at least within the Reformed world, this idea that the man is the head of the household, is the only one who has to grow in grace and knowledge, and then he'll just permeate that down to everybody. Now, the man as the head of the household does have a particular responsibility, but that does not mitigate the responsibility for you ladies picking up your Bibles and reading, for you ladies coming to church and listening to preaching, you ladies making time out of your busy day or week to listen to sermons and to grow and to understand the connection with reference to God's truth.
Her Influence Over Her Children
Now, secondly, she has a particular influence over her children. That is given to her by the law of God. That is given to her by the law of God. Obviously, the Decalogue, the Ten Commandments, both Exodus and Deuteronomy, but look specifically at Leviticus chapter 19.
Leviticus chapter 19. Very imperative that you see this, ladies. You have influence over your children because you have been given it by God Most High. The fifth commandment demands that the children honor, respect, and obey not just their father, but father and mother.
And intriguingly, in Leviticus 19 at verse 3, every one of you shall revere... Notice, mother comes first. Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father and keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.
Turn over to Deuteronomy 21. Deuteronomy chapter 21. Again, just highlighting the influence given by God to mothers over their children. Deuteronomy 21, beginning in verse 18.
This is an instance of what's called the rebellious or incorrigible son. And in verse 18, we read, if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, You see, there's these ideas out there that the Bible does not treat women with respect and with equality and with dignity. Well, those ideas are false. They are incorrect.
They are unholy and ungodly. We see that the Bible does afford respect to the mother along with the father. And just by way of a real practical observation, this is not your two-year-old who doesn't eat his peas. The Bible is not telling you to execute your rebel two-year-old.
Notice the description of this incorrigible son. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city. And they shall say to the elders of this city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.
He is a glutton and a drunkard. This isn't a two-year-old. This isn't the terrible twos. Take him to the elders of the city and have him stoned.
No, absolutely, positively not. This is an adult son who is a rebel. And that rebellion is seen in his gluttony and in his drunkenness. and he has been impressed upon by his parents. They have chastened him.
They have disciplined him. They have sought to correct his attitude and his way of life, and yet to no avail. So as the final straw, you deliver him over to the elders, and this son is ultimately capitally punished as a result of his waywardness and his sinfulness. And then in the Proverbs themselves, you see that influence given by God to mothers over their children.
Proverbs 1, verse 8. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Proverbs 6, verse 20. My son, keep your father's command and do not forsake the law of your mother.
And then in Proverbs 31, verse 1. The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it? We have incorporated in the Word of God things that King Lemuel's mother taught him.
Spurgeon on Maternal Influence
C. H. Spurgeon speaks to the influence of parents over their children. He says, fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children.
It's a beautiful idea, beautiful concept. If you have not arrived at that concept as a parent, you need to. You need to establish a family altar. You need to have family worship.
You need to teach your children the Word of God. And you need to bring your children to the house of God. That is your responsibility. You have a great deal of influence over these little ones.
He says, I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's blot. Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother.
How can I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent. Others might not think so, but they certainly were eloquent to me. How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms about my neck prayed, O that my son might live before thee?
You have a great deal of influence over your children. That influence can be exercised for ill, but it can certainly be exercised for good. And obviously, this woman in Proverbs 31, who fears the Lord, is exercising it for good. Now,
Her Authority Over Her Children
notice thirdly, she not only has influence, but she has authority over her children. She has influence because she has this authority. Again, the fifth commandment, but then notice in Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6, the Apostle Paul engaging in sort of a household code, the way that the people of God ought to conduct themselves and their various relationships in life, speaks specifically to father and mother, or to children with reference to father and mother.
Ephesians 6, 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Again, not just your father, but your parents, your father and your mother. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.
And then there's a particular word to fathers, and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. You see, the emphasis of scripture is this, we are saved by the grace of God. When we are saved by the grace of God, we receive the forgiveness of sins, we receive the righteousness of Jesus Christ, we are now called to conduct ourselves in the various aspects of our lives as godly men and women. as those who fear Yahweh. And children are told to respect and to honor both father and mother.
There's a particular fellow named Dalma that has a book on the Ten Commandments. It's published by PNR. For the most part, it's pretty good. And one of the things that he mentions here with reference to the fifth word, He says, mentioning the mother is no afterthought, for she deserves to be treated with as much respect as the father.
Practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her word. Now, that concept I saw played out in my youth. not my mom, she was always taller than me. But I had a particular friend that had a very short mother. And this particular friend was a bit of an incorrigible son.
And there would be those instances or times where you could just see she was seething mad. But he was taller, which also would kind of intimidate her. And that always stuck in my head, like, dude, you shouldn't do that. And that wasn't coming from a commitment to the fifth commandment.
It wasn't coming from any sort of evangelical obedience to the word of God. It just didn't seem right. It just didn't seem right that a man would exercise a sort of an intimidation factor over his own mother. That's just not the way it's supposed to be.
But all that to say, that can happen, and I think that's what Dauma is speaking to. Again, back to his quote, practice demonstrates that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders her less able to enforce her word. She is physically the weaker parent. Now, I'm assuming that everybody's not going to lose it, that everybody's not going to freak out.
The Bible says that the women are the weaker vessel. I assume you all accept that. I mean, the strongest woman in here and the weakest man, if they bench press, it would probably be the case that the weakest man would beat the strongest woman. That's just physiology.
They out there want to tell us that physiology doesn't matter. But everybody knows that it does. Everybody knows that it does. They are trying to cut against the grain.
They are trying to do something that is absolutely insane. And the insanity at some point has to stop, and it certainly should never be given vent in the Church of Jesus Christ. The woman is the weaker vessel. Peter says that under inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
That doesn't mean they're bad. It doesn't mean they're terrible. It doesn't mean they're wicked. It just means that in God's design, out of the two, he made one to be a bit stronger.
That's his prerogative as creator. We don't have the right to try to change that. We don't have the right to try to usurp that. We only have the responsibility to accept that.
That's where we're at as the people of God. So back to Delma. He says,
Equal Honor to Mother and Father
she is physically the weaker parent, but the fifth commandment clearly requires respect for both father and mother. Children must honor their mother even when she is physically and physiologically declining. Do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23, 22.
The Bible presents a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband takes the lead. But children must show equal honor to both mother and father. Absolutely, positively crucial. And men, by your example, you better teach this to your kids.
Respect her, fear her, love her, even when she is old. If you treat your wives like garbage, don't ever come down on your sons for treating their mother like garbage. If that's what they've witnessed, if that's what they have seen displayed, shame on you as men. You revere her, you esteem her, you prize her, so that your sons rise up and they cherish their mother.
They love and esteem their mother, and they would never think about intimidating their mother. Man, we have a great responsibility to teach this in our homes. And then
Her Responsibility Toward Her Children
finally, with reference to this woman who fears the Lord, she has a responsibility toward her children. Her responsibility is not just keeping them alive. just making sure they get food and water, just making sure they have a coat, just making sure they have warmth. It goes beyond that. Certainly, that's part of it.
You have to keep them alive. You have to give them water. You have to give them food. You have to make sure they're warm.
You have to do those sorts of things. But your responsibility goes beyond that. And this is what Solomon addresses throughout the book of Proverbs.
Instructing Children in God's Word
In the first place, she's supposed to instruct them. I've already highlighted Proverbs 1.8 and Proverbs 6.20. What is she doing? She's teaching the law of God to her children.
She is teaching them. She's instructing them. She is bringing Scripture to bear on their hearts. Again, it's the husband, the father's primary responsibility, but typically, in normal situations, he's gone 50, 60 hours out of the week.
The mother has the direct impact upon the children, and she ought not to be lazy. She ought to be teaching that word of God.
Setting a Godly Example
Secondly, she needs to set an example for her children. Set an example. Look at Proverbs 22, verse 6, a very familiar passage. to all of us. Proverbs 22 verse 6, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Listen to Bridges on this passage. He says, the mere talk to a child about religion without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits and self-willed tempers is utterly ineffective. None of us lives to himself alone. We're all spreading around us an influence, whether for good or for evil.
Here, therefore, in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other, beckoning with the hand to heaven, and at the same time taking him by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? That's a great point.
Who would receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? You'd say, no thank you, I'm not hungry anymore. Well, that's the way it is with reference to our instruction, devoid of any example. He says a child learns more by the eye than by the ear.
Imitation is far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery in parental example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, that was a long quote.
You may not have got it all. Email me. I'd be happy to send it to you. Better yet, buy Proverbs by Charles Bridges and read it.
Read every passage in that book concerning child rearing by Charles Bridges. It is brilliant. It is excellent. It is wonderful.
That's what God requires, or not by bridges, but the whole idea of growing in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It might mean spending $20 on a book. It might mean spending 20 minutes a day reading a book. It might mean that little bit of personal discipline so that you're able to do what God calls you to do with reference to your children.
You have a responsibility to them beyond getting them a coat.
Disciplining Children Faithfully
Thirdly, with reference to responsibility, she is to discipline her children. She is to discipline her children. There is a necessity to verbally reprove sinful children. It's not belittling, it's not shouting, it's not screaming them down, it's not throwing things at them.
But brethren, you know as well as I do, if you have children, discipline is a vital component in rearing them. You do not want bedlam in your homes. You don't want mayhem in your homes. You don't want chaos in your homes.
Well, God's given you recourse. God's given you authority. God's given you a plan. And God's given you an entire book. in the book of Proverbs on how to deal with your children.
So please take it and read it and pray it in and do what God commands with reference to rearing these precious little ones. I mean, is there anything more encouraging than to see all these babies? I mean, come on! What a blessing!
It comes up in prayer meeting from time to time. On the one hand, we're praying that God would deal with our society and its madness with reference to aborting babies, killing, murdering babies. I mean, that that it happens, you know, conception is reprehensible. Now it's happening outside the womb in terms of infanticide.
But we always have that blessed privilege of praying for a handful of ladies that are pregnant. We have the blessed privilege to see these little ones come in these baskets, you know, these new carriers that are all fancy. You just click them into the car. They bring them in.
They're gorgeous. They're wonderful. They smell good. They feel good.
You just want to roll around on the floor when they're a little bit older. I mean, everything about children is fantastic. Let's rear them in a manner that is consistent with God's holy word. Brethren, you don't just let them lie and hopefully they figure it out on their own.
You know, this madness again with the whole gender thing. Well, we're going to just let him or let it pick its gender? Come on. Let's just stop now.
It's not even funny anymore. No one ever saw this coming. It's just madness. We're going to raise it and let it pick its gender?
And then the church doesn't want to speak out against this? Come on! It's madness out there! But in here, we love babies.
In here, we kiss them. In here, we cuddle them. In here, we hold them. And in here, we rear them the way God says, which means that if they get out of line, God's provided a means by which to restrain those unholy passions.
If you are not using those means, then repent. If you are not using those means, then start using them. You're not doing anybody any favors, least of all the kid, but then anybody unfortunate enough to be in their lives when they're adults. If they have not been reared faithfully, if they have not been taught discipline, if they have not been taught self-control, there's going to be a pain to potential spouses and others in their lives.
I think we have a responsibility, not just to receive these gifts from God, but to do with these gifts what God says. Imagine handing your kid a gift, and it's a beautiful thing, and he goes and he breaks it. No, I didn't give it to you to break it. I gave it to you to play with.
Well, God gives us these beautiful gifts. We don't just leave them there, and hopefully they figure everything out. We teach them. We discipline them.
We exhort them. We encourage them. We bring them to church. We expose them to the means of grace.
That's our job, at least for the 18, 20, 25 years that we have those kids at our home. Anything beyond that, everybody needs to repent. I'm sorry. It's not funny when your kids are little you can never envision the day.
Oh, I don't ever want my kids to leave I remember saying, you know, I don't ever want my daughters to get married man by 18 19 20 Have you met a guy yet? Can we expedite this? It's just a natural phase of life sort of thing God's designed it in a beautiful way because you're supposed to take those arrows out of your quiver and you're supposed to launch them into the enemy territory and let them do their damage and They're not supposed to just huddle around hearth and home. They're supposed to be trained and mobilized and sent out to go out and do what God calls them to do.
It's a beautiful and a wonderful thing. And brethren, we need to accept the responsibility that is ours and quit shirking it, if that is our custom, and embrace what God's Word says. And I mean this in the most encouraging way to you dear mothers out there, so please take it. that way. Well,
Application
in conclusion, just some thoughts, and then we'll close. First of all, there is a need for such women. There is a need for such women. Martin Luther, which was a very intriguing, interesting fellow.
If you don't know a whole lot about Martin Luther, he had been a papist, obviously, a papist priest, so he never got married. And then he started getting the truth about Christianity, and about doctrine, and about justification, and about marriage. And he married a woman, Katie. Katie von Bora, I think, was her name, wasn't it?
And Katie had a tough job, because Luther was basically an unkempt fellow. I don't think he changed his sheets for years. He had different physical issues and problems. I'm sure the first day Katie stepped foot in that house, it was a cleaning job like no other.
But Luther grew in his love and affection for this woman, and she did for him, and it was just one of those marriages that was most blessed of God. But Luther said, the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect confidence. Bruce Waltke, a more modern commentator, says the rhetorical question, who can find? That's how it starts off, Proverbs 31.10.
Who can find a virtuous wife? Who can find this? What does that indicate? What does that imply?
Dudes are looking for it. Guys want to find this. That's what Waltke says. The rhetorical question, who can find, aims to awaken within the audience the desire to find such a wife or to be like her.
Matthew Henry says, this description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose. You young dudes, you shouldn't be looking at whatever to find a wife. You should be reading this and praying to God to give you this. You young women shouldn't be reading whatever, you know, the magazines are saying on how to prepare for a guy.
You should have your face in scripture and be praying that God Almighty makes you this kind of woman. Women pursue this. Men pursue this if you're not married. If you are married, encourage your wife to be this particular woman.
And the way that you encourage is not by belittling her, not by upbraiding her, not by mocking her, not by insulting her, but by coming alongside of her and encouraging her. Don't hear sermons like this and have a night tonight and say, you know, honey, you really aren't like that Proverbs 31 woman. You're pretty terrible. I mean, you got the giving them food and the giving them drink down.
But beyond that, it's just terrible. Dudes, if you lead your wives that way, there's no counsel in the world that's going to help you. That's just folly. Try some encouragement.
Try some love. Try some kindness. Try some example in your own life. That's the way you bring these things to pass.
Secondly, notice in the text the encouragement given to such women. the encouragement given to such women from her husband. It says her husband also, and he praises her. And he says, many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. He's not suggesting that every other woman out there is terrible.
But what he is saying is that you're the best, honey. You are the chief among 10,000 in terms of the created realm. Christ is only that in terms of everything. But as far as women go, you excel them all.
You encourage the wife. That's what we see emphasized in this particular passage. I remember years ago, reading a book by a fellow I can't really recommend now. But in this particular instance, he said something very perceptive.
He said, you know, sometimes a woman has had a hard day. She might have little kids. She might have had a busy day. The kids were not the way they should have been.
Dinner isn't on time. He comes home from work. And the last thing she needs is a lecture. She doesn't need a lecture on time management.
Now, some of us think that's the way to do it, but we're wrong. You know, honey, if you got up earlier. You know, honey, if you didn't have coffee. You know, honey, if you stayed off Facebook.
You know, honey, if you controlled the kids. You know, honey, if you started to... She may need that eventually, but she doesn't need it right now. She needs a hug.
She needs encouragement. She needs you to pick up the phone and order a pizza. She needs that. You see, men, you are involved in this whole process.
You know, you cannot complain, oh, my wife is terrible. Well, I'd always ask the question, how are you? Are you the kind of guy that, I mean, guys that say my wife is terrible typically aren't the kind of guys that are the godliest of all. Because godly men don't say things like, my wife is terrible.
Godly men pray. Godly men exemplify. Godly men encourage. Godly men exhort.
Godly men help their wives to not be terrible. They don't complain about them being terrible. From her children. Notice what her children do, according to verse 28a.
Her children rise up and call her blessed. It's a beautiful thing. Her children don't hate her. Her children don't despise her.
Her children don't say, you know, when I was four and I wanted something at Walmart and you wouldn't give it to me and you disciplined me. How dare... No, they never do that. See, that's the intriguing thing about disciplining your children.
See, the prevailing wisdom of the world is if you do that, you're going to crush them, and they're going to hate you. We disciplined our children. They don't hate us. I don't think they hate us.
They seem to love us. They seem to like us. They come around still. They've not looked like it.
They've got some emotional defects, or they need time to sort of be debriefed from the wretched upbringing that they had. It's a lie, brethren. It's a lie from the pit. The devil doesn't want you to discipline your children, because the devil wants your children to just follow their own hearts.
Well, our job is to make them not follow their own hearts, because their hearts are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. They need to follow the Lord Jesus Christ from her community. The community praises her, not probably the way in which we are thinking, but it tells us that let her own works praise her in the gates. Let her own works praise her in the gates.
If you're familiar with the concept in the Old Testament, gates were where the business was done. Gates was the city hall. Gates is where the men, you know, gathered together to do the business of the city. And her works are heard of.
Her works are commended in the gates. In other words, the things that she has done are seen as positive contributions, not only to her husband, not only to her children, but to society at large. I've often thought that we in our Western world are so wretched when it comes to the stay-at-home mom. Oh, you're just a stay-at-home mom.
Is there a more important job on the face of the earth than to raise human beings? There really isn't. Splitting the atom. Come on.
If you women are faithful in your task, you will do far more for society than every liberal Democrat politician and probably most of the conservatives out there as well. You take one good arrow and you let it fly into society. You may have raised a C.H. Spurgeon.
You may have raised a George Whitefield. You may have raised a John Calvin. You may have raised none of those guys, but faithful men that do what they're supposed to do and contribute the way God says to. I just, oh, you know, it's almost an embarrassment.
I'm a stay-at-home mom. The hardest job in the world that should get paid a whole lot more than any CEO of any company. That article, that Forbes article, ladies, you're going to love this. There was a, I don't know, algorithm, formula.
You know, most typical mothers, what they should make if they were paid in the workforce would be about $100,000 a year. That's U.S. dollars. This is Forbes. This ain't Canadian dollars.
This is U.S. This is greenback. That's money, right? What's the article?
Forbes magazine recognized it, that to raise human beings is a tough job. Doesn't that just scream obvious? We all know that. And yet today, oh, you're just a stay-at-home mom.
I don't want to say I want to smack people that say that, but I do want to smack people that say that. Just a stay-at-home mom? What's more important than raising humans? There's not.
There's just not. And then finally, some specific exhortations to the ladies in our church. First, you must constantly maintain dependence upon God, His word and prayer, both privately and corporately. But can I tell you something?
Psalm 103 is true for you as well. He knows your frame and He pities you because He knows your dust. It's always intrigued me. If I preach a sermon, for instance, on you need to be watchful, you need to be careful, you need to be prayerful, you need to make sure that you're not faking yourself, that you're actually a believer when you're not, it's the sensitive souls that typically are the ones that are struck.
The people that you're really going after in sermons like that, they don't even hear it. It's the sensitive souls that say, oh. And it's usually moms with five to 10 little kids. I didn't have a chance to read my Bible on Thursday.
God knows your frame. He pities you and He knows your dust. He knows when kids have blowouts in their diapers. He knows when things burn.
He knows when all this stuff happens and you didn't get your requisite 30 minutes to read your Bible and pray. I mean, that ought to be the goal each and every day, set apart time and private. It may mean getting up a little early. It may mean staying up a little bit late.
It may mean a bit of self-discipline to get that time. But if something happens, mayhem breaks out, that's the way life is. Okay? May I just encourage you?
This isn't bondage. If you don't read 15 minutes a day, you cannot call yourself a woman who fears Yahweh. No, I'm not saying that. Secondly, you must not forsake God's Word in child-rearing.
God calls the shots. They're ultimately gods. The earth is Yahweh's and the fullness thereof. He owns them.
He made them. He has given us stewardship of them. It's our task to take his word seriously and to put it into practice. Third, I would suggest you must realize that your task is difficult, oftentimes thankless, and mostly underappreciated by just about everyone.
I know that sounds pretty negative, but if you're a mom here, you're probably going, that's right. That's true. In that Forbes article, after kind of highlighting the various positions, the guy says, and then the little ingrates grow up, and they move out and leave you all on your own. That's sort of a thing.
It's just the way it is. There's not a lot of thanks and appreciation. I mean, think about it, kids. When was the last time you actually said to your mom, thank you for all of the sacrifices you make for me?
When was the last time, Mom, you had a hot meal? When was the last time, Mom, you had any kindness? I mean, think about it, kids. I'm not picking on you, but just think about it.
When was the last time you actually said to your mother? That's who we're specifically focusing on. You should say it to your fathers as well. But when was the last time you actually said, thank you?
Thank you for getting up before me. Thank you for staying up after me. Thank you for making sure I have clothes. Thank you for making sure I have water.
Thank you for making sure I have food. Thank you for making sure I have a jacket. Thank you that I'm not freezing. Thank you that all those things are looked after.
Thank you, Dad, that you take me to church. Thank you that you opened the scriptures for me. Thank you that you point me to the Lord Jesus. And again, you may be that kid that does that all the time.
Your parents are very thankful for that. But for the most part, it's a thankless job. It's just a thankless job. And I don't know how to make that any nicer, but other than to say, God sees your labors and God approves.
You must ultimately realize that you have to persevere in your calling and understand that it's full-time, multifaceted, that is of the utmost importance. The utmost importance. You can't slack off. You can't give up.
You can't say, I'm done. I mean, there might be times where you get that vibe or that impression or whatever. Maybe go take a nap or take a walk or tell your husband you need something, but you can't give up. Full-time.
It's an amazing thing to me. We have these babies, and we love these babies, and then we realize they don't stay babies, and it actually requires a great deal of work. I've often said they're much easier when they're in diapers than when they're 15. Diapers are a whole lot more manageable than Nikes and Reeboks and all that sort of thing.
It's work. It's hard. How do you do it? you're dependent upon the Lord. And you must labor to understand God's truth, not only law, but gospel, so that you can pass that information on to your children.
Well, I hope that these things are encouraging. I hope that all of you, by God's grace, will fear the Lord. He puts the fear of God in your hearts, and then you walk with the Lord. Whatever you're calling, if you're a woman who has children, if you're a man who has children, if you're single as a man, you're single as a woman, the circumstances may change in terms of the particulars, but the overarching general things do not.
It's conquered by the grace of God. It's walking in the things of God. Well, let us close in a word of prayer.
Closing Prayer
Father, we thank you that your Word speaks to such things, and I pray that this Word would encourage the mothers in our church, to persevere and to see the great calling that they are called with. And God, give them grace to persevere in this, give them grace to take seriously their responsibility before God, to take seriously what scripture says concerning child rearing. And may they, by grace, do these things that are pleasing in your sight. And again, we pray for our children, for our young people, We know that children are a gift from you, God, and help us to receive that gift well, help us to utilize it properly, and help us to bring them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord.
And we pray this through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.