Proverbs 31, the Christian mother is our focus tonight. If you're not a mother, there still might be something in this message for you. In fact, I'm convinced what Matthew Henry says concerning this description of the virtuous woman. He says, it is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose.

Bruce Waltke says, the rhetorical question, who can find, aims to awaken within the audience to desire to find such a wife or to be like her. I'll begin reading in Proverbs 31 at verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above Ruby's.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships.

She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a field and buys it. From her profits, she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor.

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." That's hesed, that strong, covenantal faithfulness, that love. Verse 27, she watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. Amen. Well, let us pray.

Father, we ask that you would guide us now by your Holy Spirit. We ask that this would be an encouragement to the ladies in the trenches serving in this capacity. Give us grace, Father, to honor our wives as is established here in such a passage, and as children may we honor our mothers, and may we glorify You, God, in the way that we treat one another, the way that we show gratitude and thankfulness and those things which are fitting, not just for redeemed people but for creatures. For God, you are good, and you have given the family structure for good, and we pray that you would just help us to see its necessity, to see its beauty, to see how it does reflect the kindness and the goodness and the glory and the majesty of God Most High.

We ask these things through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Introduction

Well, there are several things that are spoken of concerning this woman in this passage. As I said, our focus primarily will be on her as mother. But note just by way of passing, she is diligent. If you notice in verse 13 and following.

You cannot come out of Proverbs 31 and conclude that the woman that God says is a virtuous woman or a virtuous wife is lazy. She is just the opposite. We see as well, and we'll look at this further in just a moment, she is spiritual. She is self-controlled.

She is trustworthy. She does good for her husband. A couple of interesting facts concerning this particular proverb in terms of its literary setting. Proverbs 31, 10 to 31 is an alphabetic acrostic.

That means that each of the verses follow the Hebrew alphabet. It begins with Aleph, or A, and then it goes to B, and then to G, and all the way through the alphabet. It's really a poetic and a literary masterpiece. As well, in the Hebrew canon, what we find is a different order for the Old Testament books.

It's the same books. What we have in our Protestant canon in the Old Testament is the same thing that the Jews have in their Hebrew canon, but there is a different ordering. And after the book of Proverbs comes the book of Ruth, and Ruth in many ways illustrates what is given to us in this description of a virtuous wife. In fact, this is the statement or the exclamation concerning Ruth specifically in chapter 3, verse 11, that she is virtuous.

She's a woman of valor. She is this kind of a person. So, I think in many respects that Hebrew canon does serve to help us flesh out what this Proverbs 31 woman looks like in the life of Ruth. Well, as I said, I want to look specifically at the Christian mother under four considerations.

First, her spiritual condition. Secondly, her influence. Thirdly, her authority. And then fourthly, her responsibility.

Her Spiritual Condition

In the first place, note her spiritual condition, dropping down to verse 30b. But a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised. This is a woman who has been saved by the grace of God. For we know in the Scripture that a person in Adam, including women, including mothers, including wives, including husbands and fathers and whoever they may be, a person outside of Christ who is in Adam does not fear God.

In fact, that's how Paul summarizes his description of the wicked in Romans chapter 3. He ends that sort of catena of Bible verses to underscore the depravity of man by saying or describing in Romans 3.18 that there is no fear of God before their eyes. So when we come to this description of this virtuous woman, the fact that she fears Yahweh, the fact that she is a God-fearer, underscores the reality that she is saved by grace. The work of God is manifest in our heart.

The language is similar to what we find in a promise of the New Covenant in Jeremiah, the prophet, in Jeremiah 32, verse 40. When God, through the prophet, is looking forward to New Covenant realities, He says, and I will put my fear in their hearts. This is why Newton wrote that blessed hymn, Amazing Grace, how sweet to sound, that saved a wretch like me. He says, "'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear." The sons of Adam do not fear God.

The sons of Adam are wayward. They go astray. They do not follow the Lord Most High. So when we read that she fears Yahweh, we know that the gracious work of God is causing her to fear God.

And then turn for a moment to the book of Titus. We see how this reality, this fear of God, this faith in the Lord Jesus Christ affects practical ethics. In other words, what we believe concerning God is fleshed out in the way that we live for God. And we see that connection very specifically in Titus chapter 2.

Note what Titus is instructed to do. Verse 1, But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine, that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith and love and patience, the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. He goes on to several other categories of men, and then note what he says in verses 11 to 15. Four, the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.

In other words, since you have been saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, this is how old men are to function, this is how old women are to function, this is how they are to instruct young women to function, and this is how young men and servants are to engage. You've been saved, not so you can continue in sin, but you have been saved from your sins that you may adorn the gospel of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. Note what it instructs us in.

Verse 12, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Again, in case we missed it, who gave Himself for us that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. So as we consider this Proverbs 31 woman, specifically as she functions in motherhood, she is a woman who has been saved by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. But as well, we can surmise her spiritual condition as such is that she's not only saved, but she walks with the Lord.

I mean, isn't the fear of the Lord descriptive of Christianity in the Old Testament? I think a lot of people have misunderstandings about what the fear of the Lord is all about. The fear of the Lord is biblical shorthand for a man rightly connected to his God, for a man who has believed the promises of God, for a man, and I mean women too, I'm including them under the generic term men, for those who have come out of darkness into marvelous light. Those who have been by grace saved will indeed walk with the Lord.

It is the fear of the Lord. The Proverbs sets that forth in several places. Proverbs 3, verse 7. Proverbs 8, verse 13.

Proverbs 14, 26. And Proverbs 19, 23. In some mothers, it's not enough for your husband to be growing. It's not enough for your husband to be excelling in the things of God.

It's not enough for him to be studying theology and reading the Scriptures. But you in motherhood need to be growing as well. A posterity shall serve him. Psalm 2230 says concerning the children of believers, well, how does that posterity learn of Christ?

Yes, they learn it from fathers, but they learn it from mothers as well. So in order to instruct your children properly in the fear of the Lord, you must be maintaining a relationship that is marked by the fear of the Lord. So her spiritual condition is where we begin.

Her Influence

Now notice secondly, her influence. A mother has great influence either for good or for ill. It is inculcated in the law of God itself. Exodus 20, verse 12, honor your father and your mother.

Deuteronomy chapter 5, the same thing, verse 16, honor your father and your mother. Deuteronomy 21, there is an instance or an account where there is an incorrigible son who the parents have both disciplined, whom the parents have both reproved, whom the parents have both corrected. And if he continues in his incorrigibility, his rebellion and insubordination, then the parents bring him to the elders at the gate in order to stone him to death. The mother's a participant in that.

She has as much influence in the lives of these little ones, and therefore, she must indeed inculcate the fear of God, develop that fear of God, and pass it on to her children. I want to notice what C. H. Spurgeon says concerning this head, her influence.

He says, Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. You see, Paedo-Baptists believe that Baptists don't care about kids. We do care about kids. We love our kids.

We want to see our kids rightly connected to God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We want them to believe the gospel. And most parents, I would hope every single parent that is a believer, prays daily for their children. They prayed daily that their little ones would come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and that those parents in their home would make that the emphasis, and that the thrust, and that the pressure, and that when you tend to those little ones, and when you engage in planning for their future, you always remind them, but the most important thing is that you are saved by the grace of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

So, it's not a Paedo-Baptist emphasis to say, well, they're really interested in the salvation of children. Baptists are as well. And I think what Spurgeon says is right. Fathers and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of their children.

He said, I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. He's not saying my father was unimportant, my grandparents were unimportant, the pastors were unimportant. Listen to what he said. Who does a child spend most of its time with?

Not me. Spends most of the time with the mother. I just said to somebody today, I'm pretty much convinced that if having children and raising children were left to men alone, there probably wouldn't be many children. The whole idea of having them would probably keep a lot of us off the playing field to begin with.

They're with their mothers. He says, neither can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring. He said, a man with a soul so dead as not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's blot. Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother.

How can I ever forget her tearful eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought her lip eloquent. Others might not think so. But they were certainly eloquent to me.

How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee and with her arms about my neck prayed, O that my son might live before thee? That's from the autobiography, The Early Years, where C.H. Spurgeon rehearses his youth. When asked what could be done to restore the prestige of France, Napoleon said, Give us better mothers.

That's a powerful emphasis from that particular man. So you've got great influence for good or ill.

Her Authority

Thirdly, her authority. Her authority. You have authority in the home. Again, Exodus 20, the corresponding text in Deuteronomy, and then in Ephesians 6, 1 and 2.

Yes, fathers are directed to bring up their children in the training and the admonition of the Lord, but certainly mothers are included in that as well. Bible Dictionary says, honoring both parents is at the heart of the Ten Commandments. And the mother comes first in the command to respect, literally fear, them as part of national holiness in Leviticus 19.3. In terms of the actual engagement of this authority, turn to Proverbs 15.

Proverbs 15. Both father and mother are to be heeded and obeyed. Proverbs 15 and verse 20. A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises...

No, his mother. It's not just the father that's in view here. It's the mother as well. Honor your father and your mother.

Both parents have authority. They are clothed with authority by God Most High. If that's not what the Fifth Commandment commands, I don't know what it does. honor them, treat them with respect, revere them, respect them, hold them in high esteem. The whole idea, the root behind the word honor means heavy.

We treat them as being heavy, not in girth, but in terms of their weightiness, or in terms of their importance. And this is absolutely necessary in terms of the family dynamic. Notice in Proverbs 19, in verse 26, He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and reproach." Again, mothers are included in these particular injunctions. Proverbs 20 and verse 20, whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.

And again, Proverbs 23, 22 to 25. Proverbs 23, 22. Listen to your Father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy the truth and do not sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding.

The Father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in Him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice." You need to understand this. The family is not ultimately a democracy. It is a parentocracy or a theocracy that is governed by the parents.

They have the authority. They have the right to rule, not as tyrants, not as despots, not as abusers, not as those who misuse their authority, but nevertheless, the Lord God, in the fifth word, has clothed you with authority from on high.

Her Responsibility

Notice, fourthly, her responsibility. And there are four things we ought to observe here.

Instruct Her Children

In the first place, she must instruct her children. She must instruct her children. Proverbs 1.8. Proverbs 1.8.

My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Proverbs 6.20. Same emphasis, Proverbs 6.20, My son, keep your father's command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. You see what's happening in old covenant Israel?

Fathers and mothers clothed with authority from Yahweh are working in unison and working in concert to accomplish a specific goal. A posterity shall fear you. And in order for that posterity to hear of Him, in order to fear Him, they must be instructed from their youth. This is why in Deuteronomy 6, after the Shema, after the confession, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. We then find those instructions given to parents to instruct their little ones to talk about the things of God when they rise up, when they walk by the way, and when they lie down. You must instruct your children. You must instruct them in the Law of God.

You must instruct them in the Gospel of God. You must tell them what lawlessness looks like and define for them by the Scriptures. You must show them the glory of the Gospel, the glory of Christ. I'm not suggesting, mothers, that you iron and then you wash and then you spend three hours, but it's what's in you.

It's how you instruct. It's how you go about your day. It's what they hear from you as they are near you. She must instruct.

Set an Example

Secondly, she must set an example for her children. She must set an example for her children. People have wisely observed that we can undo with our actions what we preach up with our words. You see it in the case of preachers.

A man stands in a pulpit and he preaches to be holy and to be godly and to be upright, and then he goes out and he lives in an ungodly and an unholy and an upright way. he undoes with his life what he has preached up in his preaching. And the same could be said for parents and mothers, bridges on Proverbs 22.6. He says, the mere talk to a child about religion without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits and self-willed tempers is utterly ineffective. I love the way Bridges just assumes that a child has loose habits and self-willed tempers.

I don't think you could read the Proverbs without concluding the same. I don't think you could read the Bible without concluding the same. There has been, in the history of philosophy, this idea that men, when born, have a tabula rasa. That means a blank slate.

Their hearts are blank. They're not either good and they're not evil. It's what happens in terms of nurture that affects them ultimately. Well, that's not what the Bible teaches.

The wicked go estranged from the womb, speaking lies as soon as they are born. David, in Psalm 51, traces his native depravity, not back to Bathsheba, not back to Uriah, but back to the womb. In sin did my mother conceive me. So you see, depravity, being in Adam, is true of the conceptus, and when that child is born, that child goes astray, speaking lies as soon as it is born.

So Bridges assumes that, and you as faithful mothers ought to assume the same thing. He goes on to say, none of us live to himself alone. We're all spreading around us an influence, whether for good or for evil. Here, therefore, in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency.

Now, if you're a parent like I'm a parent, consistency is always one of the most difficult struggles. You've heard the illustration I've used before. I preach a sermon on spanking children, and everybody goes home and says, we really need to tighten up. We used to call it the reign of terror when our children were little.

Rebecca and I would be hearing a sermon, and it would be about disciplining children, and we'd institute a reign of terror when we got home. And boy, for that week or week and a half, every infraction, every transgression, we were there. I realized I could go to jail advocating such things, but I don't care about what the government says at this point. But then after that week and a half, or after that two weeks, we go back to being our normal schlobs where we have to fight and struggle and seek to main consistency and faithfulness.

That's the name of the game, isn't it? Consistency. You know what? I think parents ought to pray for it.

God, make me consistent. Not in unholiness, but in righteousness and in faithfulness. Consistency is the name of the game for the long haul. Not just in parenting, but in everything, isn't it?

Same sort of thing. I might preach a sermon. You need to read your Bible and pray. Everybody goes home and on Monday morning they read their Bible and they pray.

They get to Thursday and they're back in their old ways again. Consistency is the name of the game. Faithfulness, perseverance, steadiness, steadfastness. The Bible is filled with those terms.

Why? Because God knows our heart. He knows we are prone to wander and prone to leave the God that we love. He's ordained the pulpit ministry for that very reason, so there's frequent reminders, there's frequent exhortations, there's frequent encouragements, so that we will seek to maintain faithfulness and consistency.

Bridges goes on. If the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other, beckoning with the hand to heaven, and at the same time taking him by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand? A child learns more by the eye than by the ear.

Imitation is a far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery and parental example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Let me underscore something here.

It's not a formula. If you simply set forth a good example, your children will be saved. It's not a formula that if you simply nurture them in the law and the gospel from their youth, they will be saved. That's not the case.

God is sovereign. It's impossible for a man to save a child. It's impossible for a mother to save a child. But you faithfully and consistently and perseveringly use the means and pray to God to bless them so that this child may, in fact, be saved.

But if the child is not saved, those things instilled in them from their youth will hopefully serve as a good restraint over the lawlessness that, if unrestrained, can go forth in all manner of wickedness and ungodliness.

Discipline Her Children

So, my dear sisters, instruct them, set an example for them, and thirdly, discipline them. Discipline them. Have we not learned what a difficult and a terrible thing an undisciplined child is? God sets the pattern in terms of discipline.

God, according to Hebrews chapter 12, disciplines us. Why? So that He may conform us unto the image of His beloved Son. It doesn't seem pleasant while we are smarting under the rod, but it does yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

The same is true with your children. If you do not discipline them, it will be mayhem. It will be chaos. You must engage in discipline.

And there are two methods. First, timeouts. No. Second, take away their waffles.

No. First, the necessity to verbally reproof sinful children. This gets the most shrift in the Proverbs. It is verbal correction.

It is verbal reproof. It is speaking to them with that authority that you've been clothed with from on high and telling little so-and-so not to do whatever. It's not suggested, it's not recommendations, it's not if you want to, but you give them commands. We've seen that already.

Do not forsake the law of your mother. They must know that you mean business. That doesn't mean shouting at them, it doesn't mean screaming at them, it doesn't mean yelling at them, it doesn't mean waterboarding them, it just means correcting them with Your verbal reproof. We are to bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, but we're not to exasperate them or provoke them to anger and shouting and yelling and screaming and counting to three or fifteen or a hundred.

That's not going to get it. So you need to verbally reprove sinful children. But as well, you need to engage in corporal punishment. The rod and the reproof give wisdom.

This is the connection that we see very often throughout Scripture. Corporal punishment in view is not child abuse. It's not whacking them across the head. It's not five across the eyes.

It's not a skull thump. It's not, you know, doing something that endangers their lives. But it is the case that God the Lord says that with verbal reproof there is as well that implementation of corrective discipline. Bridges says it ought to be done in such a way that we reveal our love for them.

He says the rod without affection is revolting tyranny. And as I said, several Proverbs speak to this issue. Children, don't be afraid. This is what the Bible says, and it's for your good.

And I think that when you learn this and understand this, you will realize that this is a means by which my parents demonstrate their love. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. Proverbs 13 and verse 24. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Now, I shared a bit of Spurgeon's autobiography. I'll share a bit of my autobiography. Some of you have heard this before. I'm sorry, after 19 years, I'm sure some of the illustrations get old and they get stale.

But when I was a child, I understood what this proverb meant, not because I went to Sunday school, not because some popish priest preached it to us in the homily, but because I had a father that did not discipline me. I had a father that I could sin in front of, and he wouldn't do nothing. And my friends thought that was cool, and they thought it was neat, and your dad is so nice. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that if this man truly loved me, he wouldn't let me do these things.

That's what Solomon is saying. He who spares his rod hates his son. You're not doing them any favors by allowing them to run into mayhem and wickedness. put the brakes on them, restrain them, stop them, do whatever it takes so that they don't run headlong into hell. This is the emphasis.

He who loves Him disciplines Him promptly. Again, brethren, it's not abuse, it's not waterboarding, it's not anything like that. It is the implementation of discipline as God defines it in Holy Scripture. Notice Proverbs 19 and verse 18.

Proverbs 19 and verse 18, chasten your son while there is hope. And note the contrast, and do not set your heart on his destruction. What can we rightly imply or infer? If we do not chasten our son while there is hope, it could be the case that we have set our heart on his destruction.

The absence of chastening means the presence of setting our heart on his destruction. But when we do not set our heart on its destruction, we are indeed chastening Him while there is hope. Notice in Proverbs 20 and verse 30. Proverbs 20 and verse 30, blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.

Again, you might be wanting to call the social services when you get home tonight and say, he is advocating horrific things. I'm simply trying to exegete what God's Word says. We do what God says, not what the civil government tells us when they tell us to disobey God. Right?

Because they want to celebrate same-sex marriage? We're not going to do that. Because they want to disarm parents from the exercise of lawful authority? We cannot do that.

Now, certainly don't do it in the public square. Don't take your kid out to Five Corners and say, I'm going to let you out. Don't do that, brethren. Be wise.

Be cunning. But at the same time, we must not reject the word of the living God. Proverbs 22, 15. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.

The rod of correction will drive it far from him. I'm not making this up. Dr. Spock certainly didn't make this up.

Solomon, under the inspiration of God the Holy Spirit, gave us these tactics in the use of bringing up our children. You see, sin is such, and lawlessness is such, that it must be stopped. It mustn't be. Encouraged.

It must not be subsidized. It must not be winked at. It must be verbally corrected and reproved. And if that does not finish the business, then we take to what God has provided elsewhere.

Proverbs 23, 13 and 14. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. Again, the stakes are high.

It's a deliverance of his soul from hell. And then Proverbs 29, 15. Proverbs 29, 15. The rod and rebuke give wisdom.

You see, those two things that we've already outlined, verbal correction and corporal discipline. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. You see that today, don't you? We don't want to hurt this little child in terms of, you know, making our decisions his decisions.

We don't want to influence him one way or the other. We want to raise him in a caring, loving home where he just gets to decide for himself if he wants to be a Buddhist or a Muslim or an atheist. That's not what God has said to you, Christian parent. God has said to you that a posterity shall serve Him.

And in order for that posterity to serve Him, they must hear of Him. They must believe on Him. They must bow down to Him. They must be taught when they rise up, when they walk by the way, and when they lie down.

They must be pointed to God. specifically. And then Proverbs 29 and verse 17, correct your son and he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to your soul. We all know the implication the other way.

If we do not correct our son, does he give us rest? No. Does it work just letting him do his thing? No.

If we do not correct our son, does he give delight to our soul? No. We need to implement those things that God has given to us for the good of our little ones and for the glory ultimately of God. So in terms of a responsibility,

Love Her Children

instruct the children, set an example for children, discipline the children, and then fourthly and finally, love the children. Love them. Isn't that what Paul tells Timothy, or Titus rather, to tell the older women, or to have the older women instruct the younger women that they love their children? You may say, wow, that just seems like a no-brainer.

Every woman loves her child. That's not the case. It's not the case. It took me about five seconds to find an illustration from last week of a mother who does not love her child.

In a harrowing case, An Indiana college student is being accused of drowning her newborn son in a bathtub and laughing about the experience. Police charged Michaela Munn, 21, of Elkhart with murder this week after they said she killed her newborn son in March in her Manchester University dorm. The news station reports newly unsealed court documents that indicate Munn showed no remorse or distress at her baby's death and even laughed several times. As I said, it took me about five seconds to find that story.

I did glimpse it on Twitter. I traced the link and there it was. are coming more often, increasingly. And why not? When the state authorizes the lawful murder of babies in the wombs, why would we be shocked when somebody in a college university dorm does something like that?

I mean, we should be shocked, because it's absolutely abominable. But you know, it's not. The daughters of Adam struggle with loving their offspring. And if you struggle with loving your offspring, listen to the words in Titus, you need to love your children.

All these things that I've suggested are your responsibility, to instruct them and to set an example for them and to discipline them, are done in the orbit of love. You're not a robot, you're not just doling out punishment, you're not just engaged in rote memorization, you do it in the context of love. You must love your children.

Application and Conclusion

Well, that's our exposition. Just a couple of thoughts in conclusion.

Her Scarcity

I want to suggest first her scarcity. This kind of woman's hard to find, isn't she? One of you brothers happened to have found one, do what the brother in this passage does, praise her. Her scarcity.

Isn't that what verse 10 says? Who can find a virtuous wife? Who can find one whose worth is far above Ruby's? Who can find one that looks like this?

Who can find one that engages in her life to serve her husband and to serve her children? Today we're told, serve yourself. Do everything you do for you. You make that man, you make those children subservient to you.

That's not what you find in Proverbs 31. I think even within the church we've been affected by a feminism that does not see the proper application in God's world of God's order. She is scarce. As I said from the outset, the rhetorical questioner, as I quoted Waltke, who can find aims to awaken within the audience the desire to find such a wife or to be like her?

Mothers hear this, wives hear this, husbands hear this, but single men hear this as well. Matthew Henry, this description of the virtuous woman is designed to show what wives the women should make and what wives the men should choose. If you are a young man looking for a woman, charm is deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised.

This ought to be your list. This ought to be what you pray over when you say, God, give me a wife. It shouldn't first and foremost be, I want her to look like this. It should be, I want her to function like this.

Her Dependence on God

Secondly, we ought to see her dependence. Her dependence. Again, there's a lot contained in 30b. A woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised.

The fear of the Lord is all-encompassing. The fear of the Lord characterizes her life. The fear of the Lord works its way out through her Bible reading. through her prayer, through her attendance at the public means of grace. She fears the Lord.

She is dependent upon God. She understands that this job is very difficult. Of all the jobs in the world, being fathers and mothers are very difficult positions, because you are directly responsible for the emotional well-being or woe of a child. Again, I've said this before.

I like the grandkids. I'm not as directly connected in ruining their lives as I was in my own kids. It's nice to be able to hug them and to kiss them and to play with them and to send them to their parents and let them work it out. I'm just kidding.

I hope I take a bit of a more active role in it than that. But you know, there's nothing more difficult than being responsible for other human beings. This is one of the tough things about being a pastor. They shall give an account for your soul.

Do you know what that's like? It's going to be hard enough to give an account for my soul, let alone your soul. And the same is true with parenting. We're going to give an account for the way that we raise these little ones.

We're going to either send decent, normal human beings out into the world, or we're not. And we need to make sure that we understand our dependences upon Yahweh.

Encouragement from Husband and Children

Thirdly, her encouragement from her husband Notice in verse 28, her husband also, and he praises her. Now, if you're like me, you were under the school of thought that if we ever tell anybody anything good about themselves, they'll get proud and arrogant. Well, I don't know that that's always the case. They're already proud and arrogant, so a little bit of a praise isn't going to hurt them too much.

Husbands, praise your wives. She ought to know that what she is doing is a good thing. I mean, why do you want to see her do all these things and never, ever speak a good word? If you cannot say, many daughters have done well, but you excel them all from some false assumption that, well, she'll just get proud.

You haven't studied and you haven't understood Proverbs 31. Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all. Thank you for being this kind of a woman, this kind of a wife, this kind of a mother. Thank you for putting up with me and for helping the children and all the sorts of things that you do." Notice her encouragement from her children.

Verse 28, her children rise up and call her blessed. I'm with Spurgeon, a man who can hear the name mother and not be moved is creation's blot. And I would suggest, especially in this church, I know your mothers, and I know what they are doing, and I know that they are schlepping you to church each and every Lord's Day, and they are seeking to bring you up in the training and the admonition of the Lord. You ought to rise up and call them blessed.

You ought to appreciate that. Many of us were not raised with those sorts of things. Many of us had no connection, no introduction to Christianity when we were little babies and brought up in that context. We didn't have the shorter catechism screwed in our heads when we were 10 so that we could recall it when we were 25.

We were brought up in godless pagan situations, and even then, we rised up and we called them blessed. How is it for a child raised in a home where the gospel is central, doesn't ever say thank you to his mother, or thank you to his father, or show some respect or some love or some esteem? Brethren, this is what is deserving in this regard. And then as well, her encouragement from the community.

Look at what it says. Verse 31, Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works. Praise her in the gates. Where were the gates?

That was the place where commerce, or rather politics, was conducted in the city. Her husband's in the gates. He's trafficking with the elders of the city. They're engaged in the outworking of civil polity.

She is doing such a good job that she is recognized in the community itself. Now, this is contra to our society. I remember way back when, and this is going back some years, I was, and I hate to admit it, brethren, a bit embarrassed at times to tell my buddies at work, yeah, my wife is pregnant, you know, I'm third kid or fourth kid, because what is the response from the world to, oh, you're having more kids? She doesn't work?

She's not out there making widgets? She's not a wage earner? How could you ever exceed the 2.5 children, and the car, and the boat, and the song? It's not popular today to stay at home and raise children.

But who cares what's popular? I echo Napoleon. How do we make Canada great again? Give us good mothers!

Without the godly influence of faithful motherhood in the home, society looks like, oh, like what it looks like now. And we ought not to underestimate it. And if our community, and if our environment, and if our society rolls their collective eyes at us having children and seeking to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord, now I've learned, let them roll their eyes. Let them engage in that folly and madness.

We will serve Yahweh.

Her Theological Message

And then finally, her message. Sisters, you need to be theologically adept. You need to know the Scriptures. In order to teach children, you need to teach them correctly.

Do not teach them to be papists. Do not teach them justification is by faith plus words. Teach them that justification is by faith alone. Teach them that sanctification is by the power of the Holy Spirit according to the will and the word of the living God. teach them the truth as it is in Jesus.

You need to understand the truth as it is in Jesus, so that you can rightly articulate it to those little ones. If you botch it up at that level, it will bring confusion to them. Now, I'm not saying you've got to be Spurgeon or you've got to be Spurgeon's mother. I am suggesting, however, that you ought to commit to memory some basic truths concerning Christ's gospel, so that when you have these little ones and they're engaged in their folly or in their madness, you're able to push them, or point them rather, or direct them to the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Know what the law's demands are. Know what they have broken. Tell them what they have broken, how they have broken it. Pray with them when you discipline them, and surround them with the love that Paul says they need to have.

Well, I hope that this serves as an encouragement to the mothers, I hope it's not a terror to the children, and I hope that all of us, at least in some form or another, will benefit from this. But I want to finish with that observation, a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. There is nothing greater, nothing more important not the praise, but the fear of the Lord. It is the beginning of life.

It is what is needful. And the way that we fear the Lord by the grace of God today is by believing the Gospel, by looking to the Lord Jesus Christ. If the fear of the Lord in the Old Covenant was a theological shorthand for a person rightly connected to God, we call that person today a Christian, a believer, one who, by grace, has looked and who has lived. we need, by His grace, to walk in the fear of the Lord as well. Well, let us pray.

Closing Prayer

Father, we thank You for the Word of God. We thank You for the grace that You give us as parents. We thank You for the grace that You give us as single people. We thank You for the grace that You give us in each station and in each calling in our lives.

And we thank You as well that Your Word does not leave us destitute or void. but it describes for us things concerning matters of faith and practice. And I pray that we would take Your Word, take it to heart, that we would contemplate it, hide it in our hearts, so that we might not sin against You. We pray that You would go with us now and watch over us in this coming week. Grant us grace to bring glory and honor and praise to You.

And we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Scripture References

• Exodus 20:12
• Leviticus 19:3
• Deuteronomy 5:16; 6:4-7; 21:18-21
• Ruth 3:11
• Psalm 22:30; 51:5
• Proverbs 1:8; 3:7; 6:20; 8:13; 13:24; 14:26; 15:20; 19:18; 19:23; 19:26; 20:20; 20:30; 22:6; 22:15; 23:13-14; 23:22-25; 29:15; 29:17; 31:10; 31:28; 31:30; 31:31
• Jeremiah 32:40
• Romans 3:18
• Ephesians 6:1-2
• Titus 2:1-15
• Hebrews 12:5-11