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The Christian Mother

Jim Butler · 2014-05-11 · Proverbs 31:30 · 9,308 words · 62 min

Please turn with me in your Bibles 
to Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31. We're going 
to consider the Christian mother this morning. God willing, we'll 
return to our exposition in Matthew in two weeks' time. Pastor Porter 
will be preaching next Lord's Day, so please remember him in 
your prayers. did want to consider this particular 
topic as it is an appropriate subject for us to consider. But 
if you are not a mother or a grandmother, please do not tune out. I believe 
there is something here for each and every one of us. But I do 
want to read Proverbs 31, verses 10 to 31. Who can find a virtuous wife, 
for her worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband safely 
trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good 
and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and 
flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant 
ships. She brings her food from afar. 
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her 
household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a 
field and buys it. From her profits, she plants 
a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens 
her arms. She perceives that her merchandise 
is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches 
out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. 
She extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands 
to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for 
her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She 
makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and 
purple. Her husband is known in the gates 
when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen 
garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength 
and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to 
come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is 
the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of 
her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children 
rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises 
her. Many daughters have done well, 
but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty 
is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her 
hands and let her own words praise her in the gates. Amen. Well, 
let us pray. Our Holy Father, we come before 
You now, and we pray for the ministry and the aid of Your 
Spirit. The Lord Jesus said, apart from Him we can do nothing. 
The Apostle establishes the practice of praying for illumination. 
So we pray, Lord God, that You would just fill our minds and 
our hearts with understanding. We ask that You would forgive 
us of all of our sins, so we confess those iniquities to You 
even now. We thank you for your word that 
says, if we confess our sins, you are faithful and just to 
forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. May 
you wash us and purify us and may you help us to take every 
thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. For those, God, 
who've come here this morning outside of Christ, we pray that 
today would be the day of salvation. We pray that through Your Word 
and by the power of Your Holy Spirit, You would bring forth 
sinners in the exercise of Your sovereign will. We know that 
salvation is of the Lord. We know, Lord God, that it is 
You who calls to life those things which are dead. We ask that You 
would just do this for Your glory's sake. We ask that You would do 
this for Your honor and for Your praise. As well, Lord, I pray 
for the mothers here. I pray that their hearts would 
be encouraged and cheered and challenged and encouraged by 
the Scriptures. We pray for those ladies that 
are expecting that you would just grant them health and strength 
and grace. Certainly, as we read in our 
Bibles, children are a gift from you. And help us each as parents. Help us each even as single people 
to set forth a good example to these little ones. And may you 
do a great thing in their lives. And we ask through Jesus Christ, 
our Lord. Amen. Well, as I said, our focus 
this morning will be on the Christian mother, so we'll have cause to 
look at several places in the Holy Scripture. Last Lord's Day, 
we brought two men into the diaconate, and I had indicated that the 
diaconate is probably one of those very... is a very thankless 
job. Deacons serve, they don't always 
get the notoriety or the appreciation that they undergo. And I would 
say that even more exceedingly probably is a thankless job is 
the life of a mother. She does everything. She does 
all things and she does it without a lot of praise and a lot of 
applause. So our purpose here this morning 
is not to praise and applause them, but rather to encourage 
and instruct us all with reference to the scripture. And the end 
game, of course, is the praise and the honor and the glory of 
God Most High. So as I said, we'll proceed in 
sort of a topical manner. I want to look at four aspects 
of the Christian mother. First, we'll notice her spiritual 
condition. Secondly, her influence. Thirdly, 
her authority. And fourthly, her responsibility. The first is her spiritual condition. She is not a Christian mother 
unless she's a Christian. She's not a Christian because 
she's a good mother. She is a Christian because of 
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the 
sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm 
found, was blind but now I see. The Christian mother is not a 
Christian mother apart from the saving work of God Most High, 
as Jesus Christ taught in John 3. Unless one is born again, 
he cannot see the Kingdom of Heaven. In Ephesians chapter 
2, verses 8 to 10, that very famous statement of the Apostle 
Paul in terms of salvation, he says in verse 8, You have been 
saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the 
gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are 
His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God 
prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. The Christian 
mother, first and foremost, is one who, by the grace of God, 
has been conquered, one who has been subdued, one who has been 
saved, one who has been called out of darkness into marvelous 
light. If you are a mother here this 
morning and you are not a believer in Jesus Christ, my message to 
you is not, go out and be a better mother. My message to you is 
to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Go to the one in whom 
alone there is forgiveness of sins. Go to the one in whom alone 
there is a righteousness that avails with God. You probably 
hear us refer to that oftentimes in this local church because 
it's so important. What we need is not only forgiveness 
of sins, as important as that is, but we need a righteousness. 
We need a wedding garment. We need to be able to stand before 
God. And the doctrine of justification 
teaches that in the gospel, the Lord Most High answers to both 
of those needs that men and women have. We need forgiveness, we 
need blood atonement, we need cleansing. As the book of Hebrews 
says, without the shedding of blood, there is no remission, 
no forgiveness. But we also need that garment. 
We need to stand clothed in a righteousness not our own. We need to be accepted 
by God. When the Lord God Most High looks 
upon us, He sees sin, he sees calamity, he sees destruction, 
he sees wretchedness. And it's only through Christ 
that we receive that forgiveness and we receive that garment. And then, with reference to her 
spiritual condition, the idea of her salvation, the reality 
of her having come to Christ, is the basis upon which she effectively 
mothers her children. We can't miss that. It's not 
the case that a mother does her job well and God saves her. No, it is the case that God saves 
her so that she can do her job well. Titus chapter 2, that's 
the emphasis. We've seen this, or we looked 
at this last week in our study in 1 Timothy. Titus chapter 2, 
the apostle tells Titus as he's ministering in Crete to give 
various exhortations to various people groups. In Titus 2.1 he 
says, but as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound 
doctrine. That the older men be sober, 
reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience. 
The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, 
not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. What sorts of things are they 
to teach? Who is the audience that they are to teach? Are they 
to be preachers? Are they to be Sunday school teachers? Are 
they to be laboring in a pulpit ministry? No, they're to find 
the younger women in the church and teach them. Set example to 
them. Give them instruction. It doesn't 
have to be formal. You don't have to have a classroom 
setting. Older ladies, you don't need a whiteboard. or a chalkboard. You simply need to demonstrate 
in your life and by your words to the younger women among us 
how they're supposed to function, how they're supposed to do their 
task. And that's what Paul then indicates 
in verse 4, that they admonish the young women to love their 
husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, 
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not 
be blasphemed. Likewise, verse 6, exhort the 
young men to be sober-minded. You see the pattern. Old men, 
do this. Old women, do this. Young men, 
do this. And of course in there, young 
women, do this. Now note the basis. the foundation, 
the theological context for this. In other words, if we ask the 
question, how as Christians are we to be effective as old men, 
as young men, as old women, as young women, it's because of 
verse 11. He says, for the grace of God 
that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that 
denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, 
righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the 
blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, 
Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us. You see, ladies, you 
don't function in your homes tomorrow apart from the cross. You don't discipline your little 
ones apart from the cross. You don't serve in the capacity 
in the domestic sphere, apart from the cross. Everything that 
the Christian does is cross-oriented. And this is what the Apostle 
says. Young men, old men. Young women, 
old women. Here's how you are to function, 
and the reason for it, theologically concerned, is verse 11, for the 
grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. Verse 
14 specifically highlights the redemptive work of Jesus Christ, 
who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every 
lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous 
for good works. So Christian mothers make sure 
that first and foremost, You're cross-oriented, Christ-oriented, 
gospel-saturated, those who make much of Jesus. It was for no 
accident that we sang 582. Your encouragement as mothers 
ought to be, my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood 
and righteousness. Because if you're the one woman 
out there that I've never spoken to, most women think they're 
not doing a great job in mothering. Let me just tell you, none of 
us do a great job in anything that God calls us to do. That's 
why Jesus came to die and rise again. It's the beauty of the 
gospel, right? It's the glory of Christ. If 
righteousness comes through the law, Paul says, then Christ died 
in vain. What's the implication? Christ 
didn't die in vain. Righteousness does not come through 
the law to lawbreakers, to covenant breakers, to those in Adam. Righteousness 
comes through grace. Righteousness comes through the 
imputation of Christ's righteousness received by faith alone. She 
is saved by grace in terms of her spiritual condition. She 
is walking with the Lord. She not only has come to the 
cross initially for justification, but she walks with the Lord in 
sanctification. This is the point in Proverbs 
31.30. A woman who fears the Lord. Several other places in the book 
of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 3 at verse 7. Proverbs chapter 3 at verse 7. The importance, dear ladies, 
dear sisters, of ensuring that you are maintaining a relationship 
with God Most High. Over and above the devotions 
you have with your husband, over and above the devotions you have 
with your children, you ought to be cultivating vital religion 
with the Lord God Most High, through the use of the means 
that He's ordained. Your Bible, your prayer, your 
public means, church, worship, sacraments, baptism, Lord's Supper, 
all these things confirm and strengthen and help the people 
of God to grow. Of course, men, you ought to 
make sure that your wives have the opportunity to do these particular 
things. Notice in Proverbs 3 verse 7, 
not specifically to motherhood, but the reality of fearing the 
Lord. Do not be wise in your own eyes, 
fear Yahweh and depart from evil. Same thing is identified in Proverbs 
chapter 8. And verse 13, the fear of the 
Lord means to avoid evil. Proverbs 8, 13. The fear of the 
Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance in the evil way, and 
the perverse mouth I hate. Proverbs 14 and verse 26. Notice again, these are not texts 
specifically designated for mothers. Mothers are humans. I know that may not always be 
obvious, because they do superhuman things, but they're human beings. Notice there's not a class of 
texts specifically allocated for women, mothers, and wives. 
What's the implication of that? Women, mothers, wives are just 
like men, husbands, and fathers, and all of us under God ought 
to be maintaining vital communion with God. It is an unfortunate 
reality that has somehow made its way into the church. The 
only people really interested in theology are a few guys who 
teach or preach, and then those guys that show up early on Saturday 
morning. I think it would be further from 
the truth. When Jesus defines eternal life 
in John 17 3, it's not only with reference to the man, who are 
recipients of eternal life. This is eternal life that they, 
men and women, might know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus 
Christ whom Thou hast sent. Ladies, pick up a theology book. 
Ladies, search the scriptures. Ladies, nurture your souls. Where's 
the power and the grace and the strength going to come when you 
need to resist the demonic, not maybe demonic, the wicked influences 
that are represented in your home by children in Adam? How 
do you do that? Didn't we just learn in Ephesians 
chapter 6? To be strong with might in the 
power of the Lord? How do we deal with such things 
in the context of the home when we are not properly armed and 
readied for the battle? Proverbs 14, 26. In the fear 
of the Lord there is strong confidence and His children will have a 
place of refuge. Proverbs 19 and verse 23. If you don't read the Proverbs, 
you ought to read the Proverbs. Proverbs 19 and verse 23, the 
fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide 
in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. As I said, it's not just men 
who need to study the Bible, it's ladies. And it's not just 
mothers, it's single ladies as well. Again, don't tune out. 
If you notice as we move through these points, while there might 
be a few details that are specific to a woman with children, the 
bulk of it is specific to all of us. You need to grow. There's really no excuse for 
us to be stagnant in the 21st century. There's really no excuse 
with the wealth of materials that are available. On the one 
hand, we can blast the modern church when they have Star Wars 
services center stage on Easter Sunday. We can blast the modern 
church who pronounce as a benediction on May the 4th, May the 4th be 
with you. We can blast the charismatic 
and the Pentecostal excesses and forget that in many respects 
we live in a particular time where there is some very solid, 
very sound, expository preaching right at the touch of a button. We forget that Amazon.com has 
made book ordering simpler than going to the bathroom. for us 
to say that I don't have the resources or I don't have the 
ability or I don't have the prevalence of stuff to help me move into 
a place of being a sound theologian at, that's simply unacceptable. You say, well, I'm so busy. Tell 
your husband you need to study. You don't know what my life is 
like. We have so many modern conveniences to free us up. You don't have to take shirts 
out anymore and beat them against a rock. You just throw them in 
a box, seal the box shut, and for an hour it spins and does 
its things. The big chore is pulling it out, 
folding it, and putting it in its other box. We live our lives 
in boxes, don't we? Box to box to box to the final 
box. That's just the way the progression 
goes. Ladies, I'm not here to lambast. I'm not here to chastise. I'm here to encourage. When you're 
dealing with childlike rebellion in your children, it is a spiritual 
battle first and foremost. There's physical means to use, 
to be sure, but it's a spiritual battle. And if you're not equipped, 
and if you're not ready for the battle, you will be bested. And 
husbands, if you don't see that, and if you don't provide for 
your wives, the time, the resources, the space, so that she can have 
her own devotional life. And husbands, you need to get 
on board. Secondly, look at her spiritual condition. We have 
to note her influence. When Napoleon, not advocating 
Napoleon by any stretch of the imagination, but when Napoleon 
was asked what would be done or what could be done to restore 
the prestige of France, he said this, give us better mothers. Give us better mothers. Her influence is high. Her calling 
is noble. I'm always frustrated and always 
offended when I hear people in the world, and unfortunately 
it seeps its way into the church, say, well, you're only a housewife, 
or you only have children, or you only do this. That's an insult. Walter Chantry, several years 
ago, wrote a great article, it became a pamphlet, I think Banner 
publishes it, The High Calling of Motherhood. Napoleon surveys 
France. He says, give us better mothers. 
I would argue in our situation, not only do we need better mothers, 
we need better fathers too. We're dealing this morning with 
mothers. Exodus 20 verse 12. It's the heart of the Decalogue. 
Honor your father and your mother. It's interesting, in Leviticus 
19.3, as the laws are being elucidated and amplified and applied to 
society, and the children of Israel are told to honor their 
mothers and their fathers. It's not just your father. It's 
not just his authority. It's not just his influence. 
It is not just his power that prevails in the home, but it's 
the mother. Spurgeon said this, fathers and 
mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the 
salvation of their children. Spurgeon's a Baptist. We're talking 
about a paedobaptist context here. Where as long as we sprinkle 
our infants, we can include them in the covenant and accept that 
everything is going to be fine with that. No, we don't believe 
that. There is a distinctive particular 
Baptist covenant theology that we affirm and hold to. But by 
affirming and holding to that, we do not discount the place 
of family. Again, something very offensive 
and insulting from the Paedo-Baptist brethren. They say, you Baptists 
really don't care about your children. You treat them like 
heathen. You treat them like outsiders. You treat them like 
they're outside the covenant of grace. Well, until such time 
as they believe the gospel, we have no reason to include them 
in the covenant of grace. But that notwithstanding, they're 
part of our family. Spurgeon says, fathers and mothers 
are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of 
their children. He says, I am sure that in my 
early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon 
my mind as the instruction of my mother. Does anybody here 
know Charles Spurgeon's mother's name? Mrs. Spurgeon, right? That's it. It's like Mrs. Manoa, the mother of Samson. We don't know her name. She was 
the one that had faith. Remember, Manoa says, God's going 
to kill us. Mrs. Manoa said, if he hadn't 
killed us by now, he's not going to kill us. Look who C.H. Spurgeon attributes 
human instrumentality to in being the means that brought him into 
salvation. His mother. While she may be obscure to the 
rest of history, while she may be obscure to the rest of the 
world, while she may be obscure even in this context, because 
we don't know her first name, we don't know her birthday, we 
don't know her middle name, we don't know anything else about 
her. God used this woman to bring this man into prominence. not 
a prominence for his own sake, and not a prominence for his 
own glory, but that the name of Jesus Christ might be magnified. 
So every soul that was saved under the preaching of a Charles 
Haddon Spurgeon indirectly is related to the mother of C. H. Spurgeon, who appealed to her 
young son to flee to Christ. You see what your influence is 
like? Spurgeon says, I am sure that 
in my early youth no teaching ever made such an impression 
upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive 
that to any child there can be one who will have such influence 
over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for 
her offspring. to share a bit of autobiographical 
ignorance. I didn't recognize how much influence 
my wife exercised on our children when they were young and we were 
all doing our thing. I see it more vividly with my 
daughters and their children. The amount of influence, the 
amount of time spent, the amount of one-on-one interaction The 
amount of hours consolidated together is mind-blowing. Who is going to exercise the 
minds of our children more than their mothers? And again, I'm 
not neglecting fathers. Do not check out on me, fathers. 
Typically, fathers are at work for 10, 12, 15, 17 hours a day. Their roles in many respects 
is management, make sure that everything is being conducted 
under their watch, under their charge. It's the mother that 
exercises this amount of influence. Again, back to Spurgeon. Neither 
can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have 
such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so 
tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as 
not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's 
blot. Amen. Never could it be possible 
for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. Some 
of us didn't have Christian mothers, and can amen Spurgeon here, in 
terms of the influence that an unbelieving mother was able to 
exercise. How much more in this context, 
where the ladies here are walking with the Lord, and they are exercising 
a godly influence. Often said it, you kids ought 
to be very thankful. Ingratitude on the part of some 
of you is just absolutely unconscionable. On the part of all of you. You 
have families, you have church, you have means, you have Bibles, 
you have so much. So much. Spurgeon says, never 
could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes 
to a godly mother. How can I ever forget her tearful 
eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought 
her lip eloquent. Others might not think so, but 
they certainly were eloquent to me. How can I ever forget 
when she bowed her knee and with her arms about my neck prayed, 
oh, that my son might live before thee? He reports in another context 
where his mother, exhorting the children to flee the wrath to 
come, pressing upon them the claims of Jesus Christ, testifies 
to her children, if you are Christless on that day, I will stand with 
him to condemn you. Because she as a mother knew, 
she pressed those claims upon them dutifully. The influence 
is great. Just. a housewife. You take the most powerful CEO 
in the most powerful company, he has no degree of influence 
over his employees that a mother does over her children. I don't 
care who he is, I don't care how many accolades he has, I 
don't care how many degrees, I don't care if he's on the fortune 
500 list of best people ever. He doesn't exercise a tithe of 
influence that a mother does upon her children, for good and 
for ill, too. Thirdly, look at her condition, 
her influence, her authority. Her authority. This is troubling 
at times when children challenge the mother because she's not 
the father. She has equal authority. Now, the father is the head of 
the home. That's scripture, that's Bible, that's the way it is. 
There's a marching order in God's world. This is offensive to humanists, 
it's offensive to feminists, it's offensive to a lot of professing 
Christians, but the husband is the head of the wife. Ephesians 
5. You cannot do exegetical gymnastics 
to reduce the importance of that fact. But having said that, it 
does not militate against or strip away the authority that 
she receives from God in the Decalogue itself. Exodus 20, 
12. Deuteronomy 5, 16. Honor your 
father and your mother. She has authority. She is clothed 
with it from on high. She wields the Word of God. She wields the instruments and 
the implements that God has equipped her with. Honoring both parents, 
a new international dictionary of theology says, honoring both 
parents is at the heart of the Ten Commandments. And the mother 
comes first in the command to respect or fear them as part 
of national holiness. I already referred to this in 
Leviticus 19.3. It's mother first and then father. Again, not saying 
that father is unimportant. Not reversing that particular 
instituted order that God gave at creation, but esteeming and 
highlighting and recognizing the authority of a mother in 
Israel. What does Paul tell the Ephesian 
children in Ephesians chapter 6? Honor your father and your 
mother, which is the first commandment with promise. If you do so, you 
will live long in the land. That's the implication. If you 
don't, Proverbs says, the birds of the air will pluck your eyes 
out. Delma makes this reference in 
his book on the Ten Commandments. He says, mentioning the mother 
is no afterthought, for she deserves to be treated with as much respect 
as the father. Practice demonstrates that children 
can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders 
her less able to enforce her word. Some of these things are 
offensive to people. You know, Peter tells us to honor 
our wives, to dwell with them in understanding as the weaker 
vessel. Ladies say, you know, I'm strong 
as any man. It amuses me that at the gym 
I warm up with what the strong ladies are maxing with. That's not a dig at them, it's 
not to be vicious to them, it's not to be mean to them. It's 
the way God made it. It's good. Husbands aren't supposed 
to exploit that weakness. They're not supposed to bring 
it out and highlight it. They're supposed to honor their 
wives and dwell with them according to understanding. But sometimes 
it happens with children along the way. They somehow think that 
dad is the one we ought to fear and tremble before. And you know, 
mom, we can just do whatever. I don't want to be mean, I don't 
want to be unkind, but young men, sometimes this happens when 
you hit, as Albert Martin calls it, puberty. You've got to be 
careful that you don't assert yourselves against your mom. 
It's interesting because you'll always come back and say, I'm 
sorry. Mom, I love you. You're great. You're awesome. 
I shouldn't have been such a knucklehead. Dalma says practice demonstrates 
that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical 
condition often renders her less able to enforce her word. She 
is physically the weaker parent. But the Fifth Commandment clearly 
requires respect for both father and mother. Children must honor 
their mother, even when she is physically and physiologically 
declining. Do not despise your mother when 
she is old, Proverbs 23, 22. We will see this tonight, 1 Timothy 
5, 3-16. Who does Paul say is first and 
foremost responsible for widows? Children and grandchildren. What's in Paul's mind? Probably 
the fifth commandment. Probably Solomon's Proverbs. 
Probably this idea that we are not to despise our mothers when 
she is old. He then says the Bible presents 
a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband 
takes the lead, but children must show equal honor to both 
mother and father. She has authority. How many times 
in the book of Proverbs are we told to listen to our mother? You can write them down and look 
at them later. Proverbs 15, 20, 19, 26, 20, 
20, 23, 22 to 25. God is not playing games in this. Your mom has authority 
over you. Fourthly, her responsibility. Mothers, what are you supposed 
to do? Well, first, you're to instruct your children. Proverbs 
chapter 1, verse 8. Proverbs 1, verse 8. My son, 
hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the 
law of your mother. What's the implication? The father's 
instructing and the mother's instructing, and specifically 
the mother. is teaching commandment, law, those things which ought 
to restrain the corruptions of her darling little baby boy or 
girl. Proverbs 6 and verse 20. My son, keep your father's command 
and do not forsake the law of your mother. Ladies, instruct 
your children. Yes, teach them the ABCs. That is invaluable. If they don't 
learn the ABCs, they'll never learn to read the Bible. If you 
don't teach them 2 plus 2, they'll never be able to buy something 
at the store without getting taken. Teach them those things 
to be sure, but teach them the fear of God. Teach them the commandments 
of the Lord. Teach them the gospel of Jesus 
Christ. Teach them concerning redemption 
and mercy and grace. Teach them the scriptures, instruction. That is a primary emphasis in 
a mother's calling. Secondly, she is to set an example 
for her children. Baxter in his book, The Reformed 
Pastor, highlights the reality that at times ministers can undo 
with their lives what they preach in their sermons. I don't think 
that applies just to ministers. It applies to you men when you're 
in your workplace. If you're witnessing to somebody 
and you're telling them, hey, you ought to come to church, 
you ought to believe on the Lord Jesus, you ought to walk according 
to the law of God, and then you go on and you cheat your employer, 
what have you done? You've undone with your actions 
what you've preached up with your words. Well, the same is 
true with our little ones. Ladies, I'm not suggesting you're 
never going to sin. I know that you are going to 
sin, and you're going to say things, and you're going to do 
things. You're going to set a bad example. But show them as well 
the example of one who seeks the grace of God. Show them as 
well the example of one who has redress at the cross. Show them 
the example of one who owns their wrongs, who confesses their wrongs, 
who seeks mercy from God, and even seeks mercy from the children 
that they have offended. You say, well, I'll lose my authority 
over them. No, you won't. You'll underscore 
it. You'll highlight it. You'll punctuate it. They'll 
see that you are seeking, by the grace of God, to be what 
the Bible says. Bridges on 22-6, Train Up a Child and the Way 
He Should Go, Bridges comments, the mere talk to a child about 
religion without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits 
and self-willed tempers is utterly ineffective. None of us lives 
to himself alone. We are all spreading around us 
an influence. We all are spreading around us 
an influence, whether for good or for evil. Here, therefore, 
in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If 
the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this 
is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other, 
beckoning with the hand to heaven and at the same time taking him 
by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would 
receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand?" It's a 
great illustration. Somebody had a burger in a leprous 
hand, would you take it out of their hand and eat it? Seriously, 
I mean, you may be that noble sort out there, I'm not. Hear 
what Bridges says, who would take food from a leprous hand? Who's gonna take instruction 
on religion from a godless mother? He's going to take instruction 
on religion from a godless father. That's the point. He says, a 
child learns more by the eye than by the ear. Imitation is 
a far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child 
gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture 
to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks 
for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery and parental 
example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, you've 
all heard this before. You've come to somebody and you've 
reproved them of something and they say, well, what about you? 
Yeah, you're right. I'm a monster too. But that doesn't 
invalidate the reality that you're also a monster. But isn't it 
powerful and liberating when we don't have to first identify 
ourselves as monsters? I mean, we are in all those other 
places, but in this particular instance, by the grace of God, 
I'm striving to be faithful, and I didn't do this. You did. You need to own it. Have you 
ever done that, when somebody's come to reprove you? You say, 
well, who does he think he is, because I know he does this. 
It's our tendency. It's our default. It's what we 
do. That's what we are. Any excuse 
we can get for our delinquency, we will use it. Do not underestimate 
your sons and your daughters in Adam. What was the first thing 
Adam and Eve did when they were in sin? They ran and hid. You don't have to tell your kid, 
when you go do something wrong, run and hide. They just do it, 
don't they? Have you noticed you never had 
to train your kid to say, mine? That the words just form. Mine. That's mine. You have to teach them share. 
You have to teach them give. You have to teach them about 
others, because by default, they're all about mine. You typically, 
at least in the Butler home, when our children were little, 
we didn't have to teach them the word no either. It's like it 
just blasts right out with perfect ease. Don't underestimate the 
Adamic nature of your children. And when he says that we look 
for an excuse of our own delinquency, what excellent means or fodder 
does a young kid have than to say, well, you do that, mommy, 
or you do that, daddy? Again, he still shouldn't do 
it. But let's not give him the ability to make such an argument. 
Ladies, instruct them. Ladies, set an example for them. 
Ladies, discipline them. Discipline them. That doesn't mean just spank 
them. It means verbal reproof. When you study the Proverbs, 
you see that emphasis. Verbal reproof. This is not belittling. This is not shouting. You're 
not exercising your godly right to engage in verbal reproof by 
screaming every expletive at them that you've ever heard in 
your life. It is to correct with the voice. It is to teach. It 
is to instruct with an edge. You need to shape them and mold 
them and direct them, and the verbal use or the means of verbal 
reproof is right there. The Bible also does enjoin corporal 
punishment. The rod and reproof give wisdom. It's an interesting dynamic. 
Physiologically, God made us in such a way that paying back 
here somehow manifests wisdom up here. It's great. It's a wonderful 
procedure. More parents ought to utilize 
it. Again, autobiography. When we first got converted, 
my mother found out that we spanked our children. She said, how in 
the world could you spank your children? Almost as if to say, 
only Satan would do such a thing. And immediately, I got really 
shaken. I mean, here was the mother that 
chased me around the house with the yardstick, but that wasn't 
in anger. It was more in jest. I said, you know, God says in 
His Word to do this. And then, with a little bit of 
courage, I said, Mom, Have you ever realized that when you were 
a little girl, the biggest things going on in school was running 
in the hall. Now, I know there were other 
things, but for the most part, running in the hall, chewing 
gum in class, talking, having to stay after and write lines 
on the board. You know what the biggest things 
going on in high schools today? Abortion, teen pregnancy, drug 
use, murder, mayhem, robbery, all manner of crime. I said, 
what happened when you were little and you got out of line? She 
said, we got belted. I said, exactly. We live in a day and age where 
parental authority is not being exercised. It isn't rocket science. When you raise up miserable people 
or miserable children, guess what they grow up to be? Nine 
times out of 10, they grow up to be miserable adults. Parents, exercise your godly 
authority in this most necessary element. Yes, verbal reproof, 
but yes, corporal punishment. Proverbs 13 verse 24. Texts we 
should rehearse because unfortunately we have resisted the pressure 
that these things lay upon us. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares 
his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him 
promptly. Proverbs 19, 18. 19, 18. Chasten your son while there 
is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction. Proverbs 
20, 30. Blows that hurt cleanse away 
evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart. I think 
that's the King James rendered, the blueness of the wound does 
that. Proverbs 22, verse 15. 2215, foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child. Timeouts will always get rid 
of it. Taking his Nintendo system away 
will always get rid of it. No. So the text says, brethren, 
I'm not advocating child abuse. Anybody that abuses their child 
is wicked, vile, and godless. But there is a difference between 
child abuse and the proper administration of biblical justice. Foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far 
from him." Again, that physiological connection between the backside 
and the heart. God has designed us in a marvelous 
and wonderful way. 23, 13, and 14. Do not withhold 
correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he 
will not die. You shall beat him with a rod 
and deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 29, verse 15. Proverbs 29 verse 15, the rod 
and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame 
to his mother. Now, parents do not go home and 
implement the reign of terror. Yeah, we've been negligent in 
this, so let's get back on it. And the kid looks weird for a 
moment, and you let him have it. Parents, be responsible, 
be consistent, be disciplined in it yourself. Don't go reigns 
of terror and then let go, and then reigns of terror when you 
hear a sermon and then let go. Kind of saying that so you kids 
don't get it when you get home. That's for everything you did 
and we didn't spank you. Wait a minute, what's happening 
here? Well, Pastor Butler said, Pastor Butler did not say it. 
Pastor Butler says, read the Proverbs and see what Solomon 
says does have God's sanction in the rearing of your children. 
Bridges says, the rod without affection is revolting tyranny. Do not give it out of anger. 
Give it because of love, because of obedience to Christ, because 
you want their well-being. So ladies, instruct them, set 
an example, discipline, and fourthly and finally, love them. Love 
them. Isn't that what Paul says in 
Titus 2, 3 to 5? that they love their children. You say, well, that's a no-brainer. 
What woman out there doesn't love her children? Nothing is 
commanded in the Bible that is extraneous. In other words, there's 
a reason for the command. The command to a woman to love 
her children must assume or presuppose or imply that there is somebody 
out there that will bear forth fruit and not love them. It took 
me five minutes to find some examples of mothers who do not 
love their children. There's a woman in Tampa who 
just shot her two teenagers. It's not Titus 2 love, is it? 
There's a woman in Northeast Pennsylvania who beat her 15-year-old 
child with a baseball bat because of a clogged toilet. And I'm 
not sure if you've heard about the situation in Salt Lake City. 
A boyfriend went to his girlfriend's home, went out into the garage, 
and found a dead infant in a box. Apparently, this baby was born 
stillborn, so she put it in a box and put it in the garage. When 
the boyfriend starts looking around the house, he uncovers 
six others and six other boxes within the house itself. These 
weren't stillborns. She suffocated them or strangled 
them. So do not say it is normal and 
natural for every woman to love their children. It is quite insensical 
that within a country that tolerates abortion, if this lady would 
have went to a clinic instead of put those babies in boxes, 
it would have been her choice. I don't know if you've heard 
of Emily Letts. Emily Letts just rose to fame. She's a 25-year-old 
woman that recorded via video cam her abortion. Not from the 
waist down, mind you, because no one wants to see such grisly 
things, but from the waist up to say what a positive and a 
heartwarming experience this has been. And lest you make the 
conclusion that Emily Letts was operating under the humanist 
lie, that it was just a blob of cells, she knew what she was 
doing. Subsequent to this activity, 
subsequent to the abortion itself, which is chilling to watch, because 
about the three-minute mark you realize, as Leon Brown points 
out in a very excellent article on Reformation 21, you're witnessing 
a murder! Throughout the stuff of Hollywood, 
where it's ketchup or whatever they use, you're witnessing a 
lady that is undergoing the act of murder. So a month later, 
she's interviewed, still on this video, to say how there's no 
guilt, there's no shame. She just feels so good about 
her decision. And listen to what she has the 
gall to say. I don't feel sad. I feel in awe 
that I can make a baby. I can make a life. She knew what she was doing. 
So when Paul says, ladies, love your children, do not immediately 
conclude, well, all women everywhere do. Not all everywhere, not all 
women everywhere do. Love them. Why do you instruct 
them? Why do you model an example to 
them? Why do you verbally reprove them? 
Why do you apply the rod of correction that God says to do? It's because 
you love them. You will do anything for these 
children. You will lay down your life for 
them. You will give up all of your 
independence for them. You will give up career. You 
will give up money making. You will give up all those things 
that the world holds out to being real fulfillment. A godly mother 
who loves her children gives up everything because she loves 
her children. That's the orbit in which these 
responsibilities flow. If you love them, you will do 
these things and you will do them happily. You will do them 
for the glory of God. You will do them for the good 
of these never-dying souls. You will do them because this 
is your calling under God. Be encouraged. Be strengthened. Be cheered. In closing, ladies, 
find your dependence upon God. Find your dependence upon God. 
A woman who fears the Lord. I gotta tell you, as I've lived, 
and as I've moved, and as I've had my being, there is no task 
harder than being a mother. Again, I don't want to glorify 
you, hey, it's Mother's Day in terms of no Lord's Day. I want 
to glorify the Lord God Almighty and recognize what He has done 
in installing motherhood. Again, it's a thankless task, 
isn't it? How many noses have you wiped? 
How many rear ends have you dealt with? How much food have you 
made? How many times have you answered 
the same question? You ever just want to say, that's 
it, I'm never answering this again. I'm done, I'm filled up. But you know, you'll get up the 
next morning and you'll answer the same question because you 
want to honor God and you love that kid. Find your dependence 
upon the Lord God most high. That needs to be your strength. 
Secondly, your encouragement ought to come from husbands. her husband also, and he praises 
her. Men, do you ever praise your 
wife? Well, I don't want her to get proud. Go away. Get serious. It's typically not the problems 
our dear mothers are dealing with. I'm so proud because all 
my husband does is praise me. I'm just going to sit around 
and let him fan me, feed me grapes. serve me." It's not the issue. What's this husband do? He recognizes 
the worth, the value, the merit, the strength of his wife, and 
he praises her. And then he says this, many daughters 
have done well, like the way the New American Standard renders 
it. Many daughters have done nobly, but you, honey, excel 
them all. Encourage your wives. Help them 
to find strength Comfort in you. Children ought to encourage their 
parents or their mothers. It's what Proverbs 31, 28 says, 
her children rise up and call her blessed. If you only do that 
on May 11th in 2014, you've got problems. You need to understand 
what your mother does and you need to esteem her and thank 
her. Don't engage in a baseless ingratitude. But ultimately, the encouragement 
for godly motherhood comes from her God. Never forget that. Never forget 582. You're not 
going to go to heaven because you're the mother of the year. 
You're going to go to heaven because my hope is built on nothing 
less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. You're not going to go to heaven 
because you effectively read every theology book out there, 
and you've inculcated it into the young minds of your six-year-olds, 
and they're now able to go out and witness to their friends. 
You're going to go to heaven because, fowl, I too the fountain 
fly. Wash me, Savior, or I die. Find your encouragement and your 
comfort in your chair, chiefly and foremostly in the gospel 
of our Lord Jesus Christ. And ladies, may I say as well, 
in conclusion, teach the children. Again, 2 plus 2, ABCs, all those 
things. Teach them quantum physics if 
you so choose. But do not neglect the law and 
the gospel. Do not neglect the truth of God's 
holy commandments. Do not neglect the role of the 
law in its various facets and in its various aspects. May I 
commend to you, sisters, to understand the reform distinction in terms 
of the threefold use of the law. Teach your children the law in 
its civil use, its political use, to restrain their vile passions 
and their evil deeds. You tell them, you can't do that 
because God says not to. Use the law as a schoolmaster 
to lead them to Christ. When you tell them, you must 
not do that, and they do it, then you tell them the law points 
you to the Savior. The law shows you your need for 
the Lord Jesus Christ. The law shows you that you are 
dead in your trespasses and sins, and the only way of salvation, 
hope, and life is by another. And for those children who profess 
saving faith, those children who believe the gospel, those 
children who are confessing the good confession, you teach them 
the normative use of the law. What does God say that Christians 
ought to do? Not to go and engage in that 
sort of activity, not to do those sorts of things. As a Christian 
believer, young child, you're supposed to be faithful to your 
Lord. Turretin sums it up this way in terms of the pedagogical, 
the child tutor function, and the normative. He says, before 
it, the law was an instrument of the spirit of bondage to throw 
down and bruise man. But afterwards, it becomes the 
instrument of the spirit of adoption to promote sanctification. He 
says, thus the law leads to Christ, and Christ leads us back to the 
law. It leads to Christ as the Redeemer, and Christ leads to 
the law as the leader and director of life. This is what I mean. 
Ladies, you don't have to study everything out there, but know 
the law and the gospel. Know the place of God's holy 
law. Know that it cannot save your children. Do not say things 
to your children like, I can't believe it, you actually sinned. 
What do you mean you can't believe that they actually sinned? Have 
you looked at your own heart ever? Have you ever opened the 
Bible? It should never escape from our 
mouths. I can't believe that you did 
that. I can believe that you did that because the Bible says 
all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and there 
is one alone who is righteous and there is one alone who can 
save. So not only highlight the law, but brethren, sisters, make 
sure they understand the gospel. Teach them the cross. Teach them 
of Jesus. Teach them of his atonement. 
Teach them of substitution. Teach them of curse-bearing. You may not get all the concepts. 
You may not do it like Berkhoff would do it in his family, but 
you do it successfully under the power of God's Holy Spirit. 
You teach them the law, you teach them the gospel, and then you 
pray at home. God, be merciful. God, bless 
the Word as it goes forth. Yes, bathe it all in prayer. Bathe it all at the throne of 
grace. And I realize that you don't always have hours and hours 
to do this, that the Bible doesn't specify it has to be hours and 
hours to do this. Read, pray, attend to the means 
that God has given for the good of your souls. So sisters, be 
encouraged. I hope that you find great blessing. in the task that the Lord has 
called you to, and I pray and I hope, brothers, that we will 
encourage our wives, we will be there for them, we will be 
a means of blessing and not a means of cursing to them. And for those 
out there that perhaps aren't mothers, those maybe who were 
hatched and don't even know their mothers, those who maybe everything's 
gone over your head, that last aspect of the gospel is what 
I want to leave you with this morning. You see, the reason 
that we're here today worshiping God is not because we're good. 
It's not because we've arrived. It's not because we read the 
right books, or we responded to the right conference, or we 
responded to the right thing. We're all sinners. We're all 
astray. We're all like sheep. We're all 
undone. And God, in His mercy and in 
His grace, grabbed us, saved us, washed us, cleansed us, purified 
us, and brought us here together. The only way of everlasting life 
is through Jesus Christ. It's not through being a good 
mother. It's not through being a good father. It's not through 
being a good individual or single person. It is through Christ 
alone. That's what I want to leave you 
with this morning. Think about this. All have sinned and fall 
short of the glory of God. Every single one in this room 
is guilty before God. Every single one of us is liable 
to the just punishment and condemnation of God Most High, who is holy, 
holy, holy. And yet God Most High sent His 
Son into this world, sinners to save. His Son obeyed. His 
son died, his son rose again, so that everyone who believes 
in him will have everlasting life. That is good news. Well, let us close in prayer. 
Our Father, we thank you for your word and we thank you for 
its sufficiency and efficiency in all matters of faith and practice. I pray that you would encourage 
the mothers here, encourage the grandmothers, encourage each 
and every one of us as we consider your holy word. And Father, help 
us all to see again the glory of the cross, the glory of Jesus 
Christ, our Lord and our Savior, that one who lived, who died, 
and who rose again, so that we might have everlasting life. 
Go with us now and grant your peace and your grace and your 
mercy to your people. Call out of darkness those who 
are not yet your people, bring them into marvelous light, that 
they may proclaim the excellencies of the triune God, Father, Son, 
and Holy Spirit. And we pray through Christ our 
Lord. Amen.