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Please turn with me in your Bibles
to Proverbs chapter 31. Proverbs chapter 31. We're going
to consider the Christian mother this morning. God willing, we'll
return to our exposition in Matthew in two weeks' time. Pastor Porter
will be preaching next Lord's Day, so please remember him in
your prayers. did want to consider this particular
topic as it is an appropriate subject for us to consider. But
if you are not a mother or a grandmother, please do not tune out. I believe
there is something here for each and every one of us. But I do
want to read Proverbs 31, verses 10 to 31. Who can find a virtuous wife,
for her worth is far above rubies? The heart of her husband safely
trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good
and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and
flax and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant
ships. She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her
household and a portion for her maidservants. She considers a
field and buys it. From her profits, she plants
a vineyard. She girds herself with strength and strengthens
her arms. She perceives that her merchandise
is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches
out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands
to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for
her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She
makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and
purple. Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen
garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength
and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to
come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is
the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of
her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children
rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises
her. Many daughters have done well,
but you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty
is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her
hands and let her own words praise her in the gates. Amen. Well,
let us pray. Our Holy Father, we come before
You now, and we pray for the ministry and the aid of Your
Spirit. The Lord Jesus said, apart from Him we can do nothing.
The Apostle establishes the practice of praying for illumination.
So we pray, Lord God, that You would just fill our minds and
our hearts with understanding. We ask that You would forgive
us of all of our sins, so we confess those iniquities to You
even now. We thank you for your word that
says, if we confess our sins, you are faithful and just to
forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. May
you wash us and purify us and may you help us to take every
thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. For those, God,
who've come here this morning outside of Christ, we pray that
today would be the day of salvation. We pray that through Your Word
and by the power of Your Holy Spirit, You would bring forth
sinners in the exercise of Your sovereign will. We know that
salvation is of the Lord. We know, Lord God, that it is
You who calls to life those things which are dead. We ask that You
would just do this for Your glory's sake. We ask that You would do
this for Your honor and for Your praise. As well, Lord, I pray
for the mothers here. I pray that their hearts would
be encouraged and cheered and challenged and encouraged by
the Scriptures. We pray for those ladies that
are expecting that you would just grant them health and strength
and grace. Certainly, as we read in our
Bibles, children are a gift from you. And help us each as parents. Help us each even as single people
to set forth a good example to these little ones. And may you
do a great thing in their lives. And we ask through Jesus Christ,
our Lord. Amen. Well, as I said, our focus
this morning will be on the Christian mother, so we'll have cause to
look at several places in the Holy Scripture. Last Lord's Day,
we brought two men into the diaconate, and I had indicated that the
diaconate is probably one of those very... is a very thankless
job. Deacons serve, they don't always
get the notoriety or the appreciation that they undergo. And I would
say that even more exceedingly probably is a thankless job is
the life of a mother. She does everything. She does
all things and she does it without a lot of praise and a lot of
applause. So our purpose here this morning
is not to praise and applause them, but rather to encourage
and instruct us all with reference to the scripture. And the end
game, of course, is the praise and the honor and the glory of
God Most High. So as I said, we'll proceed in
sort of a topical manner. I want to look at four aspects
of the Christian mother. First, we'll notice her spiritual
condition. Secondly, her influence. Thirdly,
her authority. And fourthly, her responsibility. The first is her spiritual condition. She is not a Christian mother
unless she's a Christian. She's not a Christian because
she's a good mother. She is a Christian because of
God's grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the
sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm
found, was blind but now I see. The Christian mother is not a
Christian mother apart from the saving work of God Most High,
as Jesus Christ taught in John 3. Unless one is born again,
he cannot see the Kingdom of Heaven. In Ephesians chapter
2, verses 8 to 10, that very famous statement of the Apostle
Paul in terms of salvation, he says in verse 8, You have been
saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the
gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are
His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God
prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. The Christian
mother, first and foremost, is one who, by the grace of God,
has been conquered, one who has been subdued, one who has been
saved, one who has been called out of darkness into marvelous
light. If you are a mother here this
morning and you are not a believer in Jesus Christ, my message to
you is not, go out and be a better mother. My message to you is
to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. Go to the one in whom
alone there is forgiveness of sins. Go to the one in whom alone
there is a righteousness that avails with God. You probably
hear us refer to that oftentimes in this local church because
it's so important. What we need is not only forgiveness
of sins, as important as that is, but we need a righteousness.
We need a wedding garment. We need to be able to stand before
God. And the doctrine of justification
teaches that in the gospel, the Lord Most High answers to both
of those needs that men and women have. We need forgiveness, we
need blood atonement, we need cleansing. As the book of Hebrews
says, without the shedding of blood, there is no remission,
no forgiveness. But we also need that garment.
We need to stand clothed in a righteousness not our own. We need to be accepted
by God. When the Lord God Most High looks
upon us, He sees sin, he sees calamity, he sees destruction,
he sees wretchedness. And it's only through Christ
that we receive that forgiveness and we receive that garment. And then, with reference to her
spiritual condition, the idea of her salvation, the reality
of her having come to Christ, is the basis upon which she effectively
mothers her children. We can't miss that. It's not
the case that a mother does her job well and God saves her. No, it is the case that God saves
her so that she can do her job well. Titus chapter 2, that's
the emphasis. We've seen this, or we looked
at this last week in our study in 1 Timothy. Titus chapter 2,
the apostle tells Titus as he's ministering in Crete to give
various exhortations to various people groups. In Titus 2.1 he
says, but as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound
doctrine. That the older men be sober,
reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience.
The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior,
not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. What sorts of things are they
to teach? Who is the audience that they are to teach? Are they
to be preachers? Are they to be Sunday school teachers? Are
they to be laboring in a pulpit ministry? No, they're to find
the younger women in the church and teach them. Set example to
them. Give them instruction. It doesn't
have to be formal. You don't have to have a classroom
setting. Older ladies, you don't need a whiteboard. or a chalkboard. You simply need to demonstrate
in your life and by your words to the younger women among us
how they're supposed to function, how they're supposed to do their
task. And that's what Paul then indicates
in verse 4, that they admonish the young women to love their
husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not
be blasphemed. Likewise, verse 6, exhort the
young men to be sober-minded. You see the pattern. Old men,
do this. Old women, do this. Young men,
do this. And of course in there, young
women, do this. Now note the basis. the foundation,
the theological context for this. In other words, if we ask the
question, how as Christians are we to be effective as old men,
as young men, as old women, as young women, it's because of
verse 11. He says, for the grace of God
that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that
denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly,
righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the
blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior,
Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us. You see, ladies, you
don't function in your homes tomorrow apart from the cross. You don't discipline your little
ones apart from the cross. You don't serve in the capacity
in the domestic sphere, apart from the cross. Everything that
the Christian does is cross-oriented. And this is what the Apostle
says. Young men, old men. Young women,
old women. Here's how you are to function,
and the reason for it, theologically concerned, is verse 11, for the
grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. Verse
14 specifically highlights the redemptive work of Jesus Christ,
who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every
lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous
for good works. So Christian mothers make sure
that first and foremost, You're cross-oriented, Christ-oriented,
gospel-saturated, those who make much of Jesus. It was for no
accident that we sang 582. Your encouragement as mothers
ought to be, my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood
and righteousness. Because if you're the one woman
out there that I've never spoken to, most women think they're
not doing a great job in mothering. Let me just tell you, none of
us do a great job in anything that God calls us to do. That's
why Jesus came to die and rise again. It's the beauty of the
gospel, right? It's the glory of Christ. If
righteousness comes through the law, Paul says, then Christ died
in vain. What's the implication? Christ
didn't die in vain. Righteousness does not come through
the law to lawbreakers, to covenant breakers, to those in Adam. Righteousness
comes through grace. Righteousness comes through the
imputation of Christ's righteousness received by faith alone. She
is saved by grace in terms of her spiritual condition. She
is walking with the Lord. She not only has come to the
cross initially for justification, but she walks with the Lord in
sanctification. This is the point in Proverbs
31.30. A woman who fears the Lord. Several other places in the book
of Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 3 at verse 7. Proverbs chapter 3 at verse 7. The importance, dear ladies,
dear sisters, of ensuring that you are maintaining a relationship
with God Most High. Over and above the devotions
you have with your husband, over and above the devotions you have
with your children, you ought to be cultivating vital religion
with the Lord God Most High, through the use of the means
that He's ordained. Your Bible, your prayer, your
public means, church, worship, sacraments, baptism, Lord's Supper,
all these things confirm and strengthen and help the people
of God to grow. Of course, men, you ought to
make sure that your wives have the opportunity to do these particular
things. Notice in Proverbs 3 verse 7,
not specifically to motherhood, but the reality of fearing the
Lord. Do not be wise in your own eyes,
fear Yahweh and depart from evil. Same thing is identified in Proverbs
chapter 8. And verse 13, the fear of the
Lord means to avoid evil. Proverbs 8, 13. The fear of the
Lord is to hate evil, pride and arrogance in the evil way, and
the perverse mouth I hate. Proverbs 14 and verse 26. Notice again, these are not texts
specifically designated for mothers. Mothers are humans. I know that may not always be
obvious, because they do superhuman things, but they're human beings. Notice there's not a class of
texts specifically allocated for women, mothers, and wives.
What's the implication of that? Women, mothers, wives are just
like men, husbands, and fathers, and all of us under God ought
to be maintaining vital communion with God. It is an unfortunate
reality that has somehow made its way into the church. The
only people really interested in theology are a few guys who
teach or preach, and then those guys that show up early on Saturday
morning. I think it would be further from
the truth. When Jesus defines eternal life
in John 17 3, it's not only with reference to the man, who are
recipients of eternal life. This is eternal life that they,
men and women, might know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus
Christ whom Thou hast sent. Ladies, pick up a theology book.
Ladies, search the scriptures. Ladies, nurture your souls. Where's
the power and the grace and the strength going to come when you
need to resist the demonic, not maybe demonic, the wicked influences
that are represented in your home by children in Adam? How
do you do that? Didn't we just learn in Ephesians
chapter 6? To be strong with might in the
power of the Lord? How do we deal with such things
in the context of the home when we are not properly armed and
readied for the battle? Proverbs 14, 26. In the fear
of the Lord there is strong confidence and His children will have a
place of refuge. Proverbs 19 and verse 23. If you don't read the Proverbs,
you ought to read the Proverbs. Proverbs 19 and verse 23, the
fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide
in satisfaction. He will not be visited with evil. As I said, it's not just men
who need to study the Bible, it's ladies. And it's not just
mothers, it's single ladies as well. Again, don't tune out.
If you notice as we move through these points, while there might
be a few details that are specific to a woman with children, the
bulk of it is specific to all of us. You need to grow. There's really no excuse for
us to be stagnant in the 21st century. There's really no excuse
with the wealth of materials that are available. On the one
hand, we can blast the modern church when they have Star Wars
services center stage on Easter Sunday. We can blast the modern
church who pronounce as a benediction on May the 4th, May the 4th be
with you. We can blast the charismatic
and the Pentecostal excesses and forget that in many respects
we live in a particular time where there is some very solid,
very sound, expository preaching right at the touch of a button. We forget that Amazon.com has
made book ordering simpler than going to the bathroom. for us
to say that I don't have the resources or I don't have the
ability or I don't have the prevalence of stuff to help me move into
a place of being a sound theologian at, that's simply unacceptable. You say, well, I'm so busy. Tell
your husband you need to study. You don't know what my life is
like. We have so many modern conveniences to free us up. You don't have to take shirts
out anymore and beat them against a rock. You just throw them in
a box, seal the box shut, and for an hour it spins and does
its things. The big chore is pulling it out,
folding it, and putting it in its other box. We live our lives
in boxes, don't we? Box to box to box to the final
box. That's just the way the progression
goes. Ladies, I'm not here to lambast. I'm not here to chastise. I'm here to encourage. When you're
dealing with childlike rebellion in your children, it is a spiritual
battle first and foremost. There's physical means to use,
to be sure, but it's a spiritual battle. And if you're not equipped,
and if you're not ready for the battle, you will be bested. And
husbands, if you don't see that, and if you don't provide for
your wives, the time, the resources, the space, so that she can have
her own devotional life. And husbands, you need to get
on board. Secondly, look at her spiritual condition. We have
to note her influence. When Napoleon, not advocating
Napoleon by any stretch of the imagination, but when Napoleon
was asked what would be done or what could be done to restore
the prestige of France, he said this, give us better mothers. Give us better mothers. Her influence is high. Her calling
is noble. I'm always frustrated and always
offended when I hear people in the world, and unfortunately
it seeps its way into the church, say, well, you're only a housewife,
or you only have children, or you only do this. That's an insult. Walter Chantry, several years
ago, wrote a great article, it became a pamphlet, I think Banner
publishes it, The High Calling of Motherhood. Napoleon surveys
France. He says, give us better mothers.
I would argue in our situation, not only do we need better mothers,
we need better fathers too. We're dealing this morning with
mothers. Exodus 20 verse 12. It's the heart of the Decalogue.
Honor your father and your mother. It's interesting, in Leviticus
19.3, as the laws are being elucidated and amplified and applied to
society, and the children of Israel are told to honor their
mothers and their fathers. It's not just your father. It's
not just his authority. It's not just his influence.
It is not just his power that prevails in the home, but it's
the mother. Spurgeon said this, fathers and
mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the
salvation of their children. Spurgeon's a Baptist. We're talking
about a paedobaptist context here. Where as long as we sprinkle
our infants, we can include them in the covenant and accept that
everything is going to be fine with that. No, we don't believe
that. There is a distinctive particular
Baptist covenant theology that we affirm and hold to. But by
affirming and holding to that, we do not discount the place
of family. Again, something very offensive
and insulting from the Paedo-Baptist brethren. They say, you Baptists
really don't care about your children. You treat them like
heathen. You treat them like outsiders. You treat them like
they're outside the covenant of grace. Well, until such time
as they believe the gospel, we have no reason to include them
in the covenant of grace. But that notwithstanding, they're
part of our family. Spurgeon says, fathers and mothers
are the most natural agents for God to use in the salvation of
their children. He says, I am sure that in my
early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon
my mind as the instruction of my mother. Does anybody here
know Charles Spurgeon's mother's name? Mrs. Spurgeon, right? That's it. It's like Mrs. Manoa, the mother of Samson. We don't know her name. She was
the one that had faith. Remember, Manoa says, God's going
to kill us. Mrs. Manoa said, if he hadn't
killed us by now, he's not going to kill us. Look who C.H. Spurgeon attributes
human instrumentality to in being the means that brought him into
salvation. His mother. While she may be obscure to the
rest of history, while she may be obscure to the rest of the
world, while she may be obscure even in this context, because
we don't know her first name, we don't know her birthday, we
don't know her middle name, we don't know anything else about
her. God used this woman to bring this man into prominence. not
a prominence for his own sake, and not a prominence for his
own glory, but that the name of Jesus Christ might be magnified.
So every soul that was saved under the preaching of a Charles
Haddon Spurgeon indirectly is related to the mother of C. H. Spurgeon, who appealed to her
young son to flee to Christ. You see what your influence is
like? Spurgeon says, I am sure that
in my early youth no teaching ever made such an impression
upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive
that to any child there can be one who will have such influence
over the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for
her offspring. to share a bit of autobiographical
ignorance. I didn't recognize how much influence
my wife exercised on our children when they were young and we were
all doing our thing. I see it more vividly with my
daughters and their children. The amount of influence, the
amount of time spent, the amount of one-on-one interaction The
amount of hours consolidated together is mind-blowing. Who is going to exercise the
minds of our children more than their mothers? And again, I'm
not neglecting fathers. Do not check out on me, fathers.
Typically, fathers are at work for 10, 12, 15, 17 hours a day. Their roles in many respects
is management, make sure that everything is being conducted
under their watch, under their charge. It's the mother that
exercises this amount of influence. Again, back to Spurgeon. Neither
can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have
such influence over the young heart as the mother who has so
tenderly cared for her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as
not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's
blot. Amen. Never could it be possible
for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. Some
of us didn't have Christian mothers, and can amen Spurgeon here, in
terms of the influence that an unbelieving mother was able to
exercise. How much more in this context,
where the ladies here are walking with the Lord, and they are exercising
a godly influence. Often said it, you kids ought
to be very thankful. Ingratitude on the part of some
of you is just absolutely unconscionable. On the part of all of you. You
have families, you have church, you have means, you have Bibles,
you have so much. So much. Spurgeon says, never
could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes
to a godly mother. How can I ever forget her tearful
eye when she warned me to escape from the wrath to come? I thought
her lip eloquent. Others might not think so, but
they certainly were eloquent to me. How can I ever forget
when she bowed her knee and with her arms about my neck prayed,
oh, that my son might live before thee? He reports in another context
where his mother, exhorting the children to flee the wrath to
come, pressing upon them the claims of Jesus Christ, testifies
to her children, if you are Christless on that day, I will stand with
him to condemn you. Because she as a mother knew,
she pressed those claims upon them dutifully. The influence
is great. Just. a housewife. You take the most powerful CEO
in the most powerful company, he has no degree of influence
over his employees that a mother does over her children. I don't
care who he is, I don't care how many accolades he has, I
don't care how many degrees, I don't care if he's on the fortune
500 list of best people ever. He doesn't exercise a tithe of
influence that a mother does upon her children, for good and
for ill, too. Thirdly, look at her condition,
her influence, her authority. Her authority. This is troubling
at times when children challenge the mother because she's not
the father. She has equal authority. Now, the father is the head of
the home. That's scripture, that's Bible, that's the way it is.
There's a marching order in God's world. This is offensive to humanists,
it's offensive to feminists, it's offensive to a lot of professing
Christians, but the husband is the head of the wife. Ephesians
5. You cannot do exegetical gymnastics
to reduce the importance of that fact. But having said that, it
does not militate against or strip away the authority that
she receives from God in the Decalogue itself. Exodus 20,
12. Deuteronomy 5, 16. Honor your
father and your mother. She has authority. She is clothed
with it from on high. She wields the Word of God. She wields the instruments and
the implements that God has equipped her with. Honoring both parents,
a new international dictionary of theology says, honoring both
parents is at the heart of the Ten Commandments. And the mother
comes first in the command to respect or fear them as part
of national holiness. I already referred to this in
Leviticus 19.3. It's mother first and then father. Again, not saying
that father is unimportant. Not reversing that particular
instituted order that God gave at creation, but esteeming and
highlighting and recognizing the authority of a mother in
Israel. What does Paul tell the Ephesian
children in Ephesians chapter 6? Honor your father and your
mother, which is the first commandment with promise. If you do so, you
will live long in the land. That's the implication. If you
don't, Proverbs says, the birds of the air will pluck your eyes
out. Delma makes this reference in
his book on the Ten Commandments. He says, mentioning the mother
is no afterthought, for she deserves to be treated with as much respect
as the father. Practice demonstrates that children
can misuse the fact that a mother's physical condition often renders
her less able to enforce her word. Some of these things are
offensive to people. You know, Peter tells us to honor
our wives, to dwell with them in understanding as the weaker
vessel. Ladies say, you know, I'm strong
as any man. It amuses me that at the gym
I warm up with what the strong ladies are maxing with. That's not a dig at them, it's
not to be vicious to them, it's not to be mean to them. It's
the way God made it. It's good. Husbands aren't supposed
to exploit that weakness. They're not supposed to bring
it out and highlight it. They're supposed to honor their
wives and dwell with them according to understanding. But sometimes
it happens with children along the way. They somehow think that
dad is the one we ought to fear and tremble before. And you know,
mom, we can just do whatever. I don't want to be mean, I don't
want to be unkind, but young men, sometimes this happens when
you hit, as Albert Martin calls it, puberty. You've got to be
careful that you don't assert yourselves against your mom.
It's interesting because you'll always come back and say, I'm
sorry. Mom, I love you. You're great. You're awesome.
I shouldn't have been such a knucklehead. Dalma says practice demonstrates
that children can misuse the fact that a mother's physical
condition often renders her less able to enforce her word. She
is physically the weaker parent. But the Fifth Commandment clearly
requires respect for both father and mother. Children must honor
their mother, even when she is physically and physiologically
declining. Do not despise your mother when
she is old, Proverbs 23, 22. We will see this tonight, 1 Timothy
5, 3-16. Who does Paul say is first and
foremost responsible for widows? Children and grandchildren. What's in Paul's mind? Probably
the fifth commandment. Probably Solomon's Proverbs.
Probably this idea that we are not to despise our mothers when
she is old. He then says the Bible presents
a relationship of authority between husband and wife where the husband
takes the lead, but children must show equal honor to both
mother and father. She has authority. How many times
in the book of Proverbs are we told to listen to our mother? You can write them down and look
at them later. Proverbs 15, 20, 19, 26, 20,
20, 23, 22 to 25. God is not playing games in this. Your mom has authority
over you. Fourthly, her responsibility. Mothers, what are you supposed
to do? Well, first, you're to instruct your children. Proverbs
chapter 1, verse 8. Proverbs 1, verse 8. My son,
hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the
law of your mother. What's the implication? The father's
instructing and the mother's instructing, and specifically
the mother. is teaching commandment, law, those things which ought
to restrain the corruptions of her darling little baby boy or
girl. Proverbs 6 and verse 20. My son, keep your father's command
and do not forsake the law of your mother. Ladies, instruct
your children. Yes, teach them the ABCs. That is invaluable. If they don't
learn the ABCs, they'll never learn to read the Bible. If you
don't teach them 2 plus 2, they'll never be able to buy something
at the store without getting taken. Teach them those things
to be sure, but teach them the fear of God. Teach them the commandments
of the Lord. Teach them the gospel of Jesus
Christ. Teach them concerning redemption
and mercy and grace. Teach them the scriptures, instruction. That is a primary emphasis in
a mother's calling. Secondly, she is to set an example
for her children. Baxter in his book, The Reformed
Pastor, highlights the reality that at times ministers can undo
with their lives what they preach in their sermons. I don't think
that applies just to ministers. It applies to you men when you're
in your workplace. If you're witnessing to somebody
and you're telling them, hey, you ought to come to church,
you ought to believe on the Lord Jesus, you ought to walk according
to the law of God, and then you go on and you cheat your employer,
what have you done? You've undone with your actions
what you've preached up with your words. Well, the same is
true with our little ones. Ladies, I'm not suggesting you're
never going to sin. I know that you are going to
sin, and you're going to say things, and you're going to do
things. You're going to set a bad example. But show them as well
the example of one who seeks the grace of God. Show them as
well the example of one who has redress at the cross. Show them
the example of one who owns their wrongs, who confesses their wrongs,
who seeks mercy from God, and even seeks mercy from the children
that they have offended. You say, well, I'll lose my authority
over them. No, you won't. You'll underscore
it. You'll highlight it. You'll punctuate it. They'll
see that you are seeking, by the grace of God, to be what
the Bible says. Bridges on 22-6, Train Up a Child and the Way
He Should Go, Bridges comments, the mere talk to a child about
religion without bringing it to bear upon his loose habits
and self-willed tempers is utterly ineffective. None of us lives
to himself alone. We are all spreading around us
an influence. We all are spreading around us
an influence, whether for good or for evil. Here, therefore,
in our families lies the responsibility of Christian consistency. If
the child hears of godliness and sees but wickedness, this
is bringing him bread with one hand and poison with the other,
beckoning with the hand to heaven and at the same time taking him
by the hand and leading him in the way to destruction. Who would
receive even the choicest food from a leprous hand?" It's a
great illustration. Somebody had a burger in a leprous
hand, would you take it out of their hand and eat it? Seriously,
I mean, you may be that noble sort out there, I'm not. Hear
what Bridges says, who would take food from a leprous hand? Who's gonna take instruction
on religion from a godless mother? He's going to take instruction
on religion from a godless father. That's the point. He says, a
child learns more by the eye than by the ear. Imitation is
a far more powerful principle than memory. A well-trained child
gladly looks to his parents' godliness as his model picture
to copy after. A wayward child eagerly seeks
for the excuse of his own delinquency, and this discovery and parental
example will harden him in infidelity and ungodliness. Now, you've
all heard this before. You've come to somebody and you've
reproved them of something and they say, well, what about you?
Yeah, you're right. I'm a monster too. But that doesn't
invalidate the reality that you're also a monster. But isn't it
powerful and liberating when we don't have to first identify
ourselves as monsters? I mean, we are in all those other
places, but in this particular instance, by the grace of God,
I'm striving to be faithful, and I didn't do this. You did. You need to own it. Have you
ever done that, when somebody's come to reprove you? You say,
well, who does he think he is, because I know he does this.
It's our tendency. It's our default. It's what we
do. That's what we are. Any excuse
we can get for our delinquency, we will use it. Do not underestimate
your sons and your daughters in Adam. What was the first thing
Adam and Eve did when they were in sin? They ran and hid. You don't have to tell your kid,
when you go do something wrong, run and hide. They just do it,
don't they? Have you noticed you never had
to train your kid to say, mine? That the words just form. Mine. That's mine. You have to teach them share.
You have to teach them give. You have to teach them about
others, because by default, they're all about mine. You typically,
at least in the Butler home, when our children were little,
we didn't have to teach them the word no either. It's like it
just blasts right out with perfect ease. Don't underestimate the
Adamic nature of your children. And when he says that we look
for an excuse of our own delinquency, what excellent means or fodder
does a young kid have than to say, well, you do that, mommy,
or you do that, daddy? Again, he still shouldn't do
it. But let's not give him the ability to make such an argument.
Ladies, instruct them. Ladies, set an example for them.
Ladies, discipline them. Discipline them. That doesn't mean just spank
them. It means verbal reproof. When you study the Proverbs,
you see that emphasis. Verbal reproof. This is not belittling. This is not shouting. You're
not exercising your godly right to engage in verbal reproof by
screaming every expletive at them that you've ever heard in
your life. It is to correct with the voice. It is to teach. It
is to instruct with an edge. You need to shape them and mold
them and direct them, and the verbal use or the means of verbal
reproof is right there. The Bible also does enjoin corporal
punishment. The rod and reproof give wisdom. It's an interesting dynamic.
Physiologically, God made us in such a way that paying back
here somehow manifests wisdom up here. It's great. It's a wonderful
procedure. More parents ought to utilize
it. Again, autobiography. When we first got converted,
my mother found out that we spanked our children. She said, how in
the world could you spank your children? Almost as if to say,
only Satan would do such a thing. And immediately, I got really
shaken. I mean, here was the mother that
chased me around the house with the yardstick, but that wasn't
in anger. It was more in jest. I said, you know, God says in
His Word to do this. And then, with a little bit of
courage, I said, Mom, Have you ever realized that when you were
a little girl, the biggest things going on in school was running
in the hall. Now, I know there were other
things, but for the most part, running in the hall, chewing
gum in class, talking, having to stay after and write lines
on the board. You know what the biggest things
going on in high schools today? Abortion, teen pregnancy, drug
use, murder, mayhem, robbery, all manner of crime. I said,
what happened when you were little and you got out of line? She
said, we got belted. I said, exactly. We live in a day and age where
parental authority is not being exercised. It isn't rocket science. When you raise up miserable people
or miserable children, guess what they grow up to be? Nine
times out of 10, they grow up to be miserable adults. Parents, exercise your godly
authority in this most necessary element. Yes, verbal reproof,
but yes, corporal punishment. Proverbs 13 verse 24. Texts we
should rehearse because unfortunately we have resisted the pressure
that these things lay upon us. Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares
his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him
promptly. Proverbs 19, 18. 19, 18. Chasten your son while there
is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction. Proverbs
20, 30. Blows that hurt cleanse away
evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart. I think
that's the King James rendered, the blueness of the wound does
that. Proverbs 22, verse 15. 2215, foolishness is bound up in the
heart of a child. Timeouts will always get rid
of it. Taking his Nintendo system away
will always get rid of it. No. So the text says, brethren,
I'm not advocating child abuse. Anybody that abuses their child
is wicked, vile, and godless. But there is a difference between
child abuse and the proper administration of biblical justice. Foolishness is bound up in the
heart of a child, the rod of correction will drive it far
from him." Again, that physiological connection between the backside
and the heart. God has designed us in a marvelous
and wonderful way. 23, 13, and 14. Do not withhold
correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he
will not die. You shall beat him with a rod
and deliver his soul from hell. Proverbs 29, verse 15. Proverbs 29 verse 15, the rod
and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame
to his mother. Now, parents do not go home and
implement the reign of terror. Yeah, we've been negligent in
this, so let's get back on it. And the kid looks weird for a
moment, and you let him have it. Parents, be responsible,
be consistent, be disciplined in it yourself. Don't go reigns
of terror and then let go, and then reigns of terror when you
hear a sermon and then let go. Kind of saying that so you kids
don't get it when you get home. That's for everything you did
and we didn't spank you. Wait a minute, what's happening
here? Well, Pastor Butler said, Pastor Butler did not say it.
Pastor Butler says, read the Proverbs and see what Solomon
says does have God's sanction in the rearing of your children.
Bridges says, the rod without affection is revolting tyranny. Do not give it out of anger.
Give it because of love, because of obedience to Christ, because
you want their well-being. So ladies, instruct them, set
an example, discipline, and fourthly and finally, love them. Love
them. Isn't that what Paul says in
Titus 2, 3 to 5? that they love their children. You say, well, that's a no-brainer.
What woman out there doesn't love her children? Nothing is
commanded in the Bible that is extraneous. In other words, there's
a reason for the command. The command to a woman to love
her children must assume or presuppose or imply that there is somebody
out there that will bear forth fruit and not love them. It took
me five minutes to find some examples of mothers who do not
love their children. There's a woman in Tampa who
just shot her two teenagers. It's not Titus 2 love, is it?
There's a woman in Northeast Pennsylvania who beat her 15-year-old
child with a baseball bat because of a clogged toilet. And I'm
not sure if you've heard about the situation in Salt Lake City.
A boyfriend went to his girlfriend's home, went out into the garage,
and found a dead infant in a box. Apparently, this baby was born
stillborn, so she put it in a box and put it in the garage. When
the boyfriend starts looking around the house, he uncovers
six others and six other boxes within the house itself. These
weren't stillborns. She suffocated them or strangled
them. So do not say it is normal and
natural for every woman to love their children. It is quite insensical
that within a country that tolerates abortion, if this lady would
have went to a clinic instead of put those babies in boxes,
it would have been her choice. I don't know if you've heard
of Emily Letts. Emily Letts just rose to fame. She's a 25-year-old
woman that recorded via video cam her abortion. Not from the
waist down, mind you, because no one wants to see such grisly
things, but from the waist up to say what a positive and a
heartwarming experience this has been. And lest you make the
conclusion that Emily Letts was operating under the humanist
lie, that it was just a blob of cells, she knew what she was
doing. Subsequent to this activity,
subsequent to the abortion itself, which is chilling to watch, because
about the three-minute mark you realize, as Leon Brown points
out in a very excellent article on Reformation 21, you're witnessing
a murder! Throughout the stuff of Hollywood,
where it's ketchup or whatever they use, you're witnessing a
lady that is undergoing the act of murder. So a month later,
she's interviewed, still on this video, to say how there's no
guilt, there's no shame. She just feels so good about
her decision. And listen to what she has the
gall to say. I don't feel sad. I feel in awe
that I can make a baby. I can make a life. She knew what she was doing.
So when Paul says, ladies, love your children, do not immediately
conclude, well, all women everywhere do. Not all everywhere, not all
women everywhere do. Love them. Why do you instruct
them? Why do you model an example to
them? Why do you verbally reprove them?
Why do you apply the rod of correction that God says to do? It's because
you love them. You will do anything for these
children. You will lay down your life for
them. You will give up all of your
independence for them. You will give up career. You
will give up money making. You will give up all those things
that the world holds out to being real fulfillment. A godly mother
who loves her children gives up everything because she loves
her children. That's the orbit in which these
responsibilities flow. If you love them, you will do
these things and you will do them happily. You will do them
for the glory of God. You will do them for the good
of these never-dying souls. You will do them because this
is your calling under God. Be encouraged. Be strengthened. Be cheered. In closing, ladies,
find your dependence upon God. Find your dependence upon God.
A woman who fears the Lord. I gotta tell you, as I've lived,
and as I've moved, and as I've had my being, there is no task
harder than being a mother. Again, I don't want to glorify
you, hey, it's Mother's Day in terms of no Lord's Day. I want
to glorify the Lord God Almighty and recognize what He has done
in installing motherhood. Again, it's a thankless task,
isn't it? How many noses have you wiped?
How many rear ends have you dealt with? How much food have you
made? How many times have you answered
the same question? You ever just want to say, that's
it, I'm never answering this again. I'm done, I'm filled up. But you know, you'll get up the
next morning and you'll answer the same question because you
want to honor God and you love that kid. Find your dependence
upon the Lord God most high. That needs to be your strength.
Secondly, your encouragement ought to come from husbands. her husband also, and he praises
her. Men, do you ever praise your
wife? Well, I don't want her to get proud. Go away. Get serious. It's typically not the problems
our dear mothers are dealing with. I'm so proud because all
my husband does is praise me. I'm just going to sit around
and let him fan me, feed me grapes. serve me." It's not the issue. What's this husband do? He recognizes
the worth, the value, the merit, the strength of his wife, and
he praises her. And then he says this, many daughters
have done well, like the way the New American Standard renders
it. Many daughters have done nobly, but you, honey, excel
them all. Encourage your wives. Help them
to find strength Comfort in you. Children ought to encourage their
parents or their mothers. It's what Proverbs 31, 28 says,
her children rise up and call her blessed. If you only do that
on May 11th in 2014, you've got problems. You need to understand
what your mother does and you need to esteem her and thank
her. Don't engage in a baseless ingratitude. But ultimately, the encouragement
for godly motherhood comes from her God. Never forget that. Never forget 582. You're not
going to go to heaven because you're the mother of the year.
You're going to go to heaven because my hope is built on nothing
less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. You're not going to go to heaven
because you effectively read every theology book out there,
and you've inculcated it into the young minds of your six-year-olds,
and they're now able to go out and witness to their friends.
You're going to go to heaven because, fowl, I too the fountain
fly. Wash me, Savior, or I die. Find your encouragement and your
comfort in your chair, chiefly and foremostly in the gospel
of our Lord Jesus Christ. And ladies, may I say as well,
in conclusion, teach the children. Again, 2 plus 2, ABCs, all those
things. Teach them quantum physics if
you so choose. But do not neglect the law and
the gospel. Do not neglect the truth of God's
holy commandments. Do not neglect the role of the
law in its various facets and in its various aspects. May I
commend to you, sisters, to understand the reform distinction in terms
of the threefold use of the law. Teach your children the law in
its civil use, its political use, to restrain their vile passions
and their evil deeds. You tell them, you can't do that
because God says not to. Use the law as a schoolmaster
to lead them to Christ. When you tell them, you must
not do that, and they do it, then you tell them the law points
you to the Savior. The law shows you your need for
the Lord Jesus Christ. The law shows you that you are
dead in your trespasses and sins, and the only way of salvation,
hope, and life is by another. And for those children who profess
saving faith, those children who believe the gospel, those
children who are confessing the good confession, you teach them
the normative use of the law. What does God say that Christians
ought to do? Not to go and engage in that
sort of activity, not to do those sorts of things. As a Christian
believer, young child, you're supposed to be faithful to your
Lord. Turretin sums it up this way in terms of the pedagogical,
the child tutor function, and the normative. He says, before
it, the law was an instrument of the spirit of bondage to throw
down and bruise man. But afterwards, it becomes the
instrument of the spirit of adoption to promote sanctification. He
says, thus the law leads to Christ, and Christ leads us back to the
law. It leads to Christ as the Redeemer, and Christ leads to
the law as the leader and director of life. This is what I mean.
Ladies, you don't have to study everything out there, but know
the law and the gospel. Know the place of God's holy
law. Know that it cannot save your children. Do not say things
to your children like, I can't believe it, you actually sinned.
What do you mean you can't believe that they actually sinned? Have
you looked at your own heart ever? Have you ever opened the
Bible? It should never escape from our
mouths. I can't believe that you did
that. I can believe that you did that because the Bible says
all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and there
is one alone who is righteous and there is one alone who can
save. So not only highlight the law, but brethren, sisters, make
sure they understand the gospel. Teach them the cross. Teach them
of Jesus. Teach them of his atonement.
Teach them of substitution. Teach them of curse-bearing. You may not get all the concepts.
You may not do it like Berkhoff would do it in his family, but
you do it successfully under the power of God's Holy Spirit.
You teach them the law, you teach them the gospel, and then you
pray at home. God, be merciful. God, bless
the Word as it goes forth. Yes, bathe it all in prayer. Bathe it all at the throne of
grace. And I realize that you don't always have hours and hours
to do this, that the Bible doesn't specify it has to be hours and
hours to do this. Read, pray, attend to the means
that God has given for the good of your souls. So sisters, be
encouraged. I hope that you find great blessing. in the task that the Lord has
called you to, and I pray and I hope, brothers, that we will
encourage our wives, we will be there for them, we will be
a means of blessing and not a means of cursing to them. And for those
out there that perhaps aren't mothers, those maybe who were
hatched and don't even know their mothers, those who maybe everything's
gone over your head, that last aspect of the gospel is what
I want to leave you with this morning. You see, the reason
that we're here today worshiping God is not because we're good.
It's not because we've arrived. It's not because we read the
right books, or we responded to the right conference, or we
responded to the right thing. We're all sinners. We're all
astray. We're all like sheep. We're all
undone. And God, in His mercy and in
His grace, grabbed us, saved us, washed us, cleansed us, purified
us, and brought us here together. The only way of everlasting life
is through Jesus Christ. It's not through being a good
mother. It's not through being a good father. It's not through
being a good individual or single person. It is through Christ
alone. That's what I want to leave you
with this morning. Think about this. All have sinned and fall
short of the glory of God. Every single one in this room
is guilty before God. Every single one of us is liable
to the just punishment and condemnation of God Most High, who is holy,
holy, holy. And yet God Most High sent His
Son into this world, sinners to save. His Son obeyed. His
son died, his son rose again, so that everyone who believes
in him will have everlasting life. That is good news. Well, let us close in prayer.
Our Father, we thank you for your word and we thank you for
its sufficiency and efficiency in all matters of faith and practice. I pray that you would encourage
the mothers here, encourage the grandmothers, encourage each
and every one of us as we consider your holy word. And Father, help
us all to see again the glory of the cross, the glory of Jesus
Christ, our Lord and our Savior, that one who lived, who died,
and who rose again, so that we might have everlasting life.
Go with us now and grant your peace and your grace and your
mercy to your people. Call out of darkness those who
are not yet your people, bring them into marvelous light, that
they may proclaim the excellencies of the triune God, Father, Son,
and Holy Spirit. And we pray through Christ our
Lord. Amen.