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May I turn in your Bibles to 
Colossians chapter 3 as we continue to survey what Paul says concerning 
new men, new women in Christ Jesus. Remember the specific 
admonition or command in verses 1 and 2. In chapter 3, if then 
you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above 
where Christ is sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind 
on things above, not on things of the earth. And as the blood-bought 
children of God, those redeemed by sovereign grace through faith 
in Christ Jesus, we focus upon the Lord. We think upon Jesus 
Christ. Our minds are driven to Him. Our minds are rooted upon Him. And as we do so, we are better 
fit and enabled to live life. in this present world. Orthodoxy, 
having sound doctrine, must lead to orthopaxy, living in a consistent 
manner. So, he says, to set our mind 
on things above, and then he highlights the necessity for 
us to put off sin. Chapter 3, verses 5 to 11, he 
deals specifically with the sins of the flesh and the sins of 
the tongue. New men in Christ Jesus aren't 
those given to sexual immorality. New men in Christ Jesus aren't 
those given to speaking ill with their mouths. New men in Christ 
Jesus put off vice. They put off sin. They take seriously 
the admonition of Romans 13 to put on the Lord Jesus Christ 
and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lust. So not only will we put off vice, 
we will put on virtue. That's what he indicates in chapter 
3, beginning in verse 12. Those virtues that ought to characterize 
the people of God. Tender mercies, kindness, humility, 
meekness, long-suffering, bearing with one another, forgiving one 
another if anyone has a complaint against another. We are to put 
on the bond of love, that primary obligation. that supreme duty 
of the people of God. Above all, he says, these things 
put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And then as we 
do so, we're fit for corporate interaction. In other words, 
our church life is affected by the reality that in Christ Jesus, 
we are new men. We are to let the peace of God 
rule in our hearts, verse 15, to which also you were called, 
in one body. We're to let the word of Christ 
dwell in us richly. We're to teach and admonish others. 
We're to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. We are to 
do whatever we do, in word or deed, all in the name of the 
Lord Jesus Christ. So as we focus upon the things 
of the Lord, as individuals, we are putting to death sin, 
we are putting on righteousness. As the body of Christ, as the 
church corporate, we are conducting ourselves toward one another 
in a manner consistent with new men in Christ Jesus. But it doesn't 
just stop at the church, we also see how when we have been saved, 
It has effect upon our home life, upon the domestic sphere. Last 
week we considered the marriage relationship, husbands and wives. This morning we're going to take 
up the parent-child relationship, verses 20 and 21. So the new 
man, the new woman in Christ Jesus ought to live as such within 
the domestic sphere. Our homes ought to be characterized 
by Christian ethic. Our homes ought to be characterized 
in a manner that is consistent with God's holy will. So I'll 
just pick up reading in verse 18. We'll read the chapter 4, 
verse 6. Wives, submit to your own husbands 
as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and 
do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in 
all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not 
provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, 
obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with 
eye service as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, hearing 
God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, 
as to the Lord and not to men. knowing that from the Lord you 
will receive the reward of your inheritance, or of the inheritance, 
for you serve the Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be 
repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, 
give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you 
also have a master in heaven. Continue earnestly in prayer, 
being vigilant in it with thanksgiving. Meanwhile, praying also for us 
that God would open to us a door for the word to speak the mystery 
of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it 
manifest as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward those who 
are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with 
grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to 
answer each one. Amen. Well, let us pray again. 
Father, thank you for this, your Word. We pray for the mind of 
Christ now. We pray that we would take every thought captive to 
the obedience of Christ. I pray for the children. I pray 
for the young people, that they would receive your Word, that 
they would have ears to hear and hearts to receive the truth 
of God Almighty. Pray for us as fathers, as mothers, 
that we would receive instruction from this passage, that we would 
see the high calling that we have in this area of stewardship 
to rear children as unto the Lord. We ask God in heaven that 
truly our homes would be characterized by Christian ethics, that our 
homes truly would be saturated in the blood of the Lord Jesus 
Christ, that we would be a people that are marked by the things 
we find in this chapter. Do forgive us of our sin. Forgive 
us that we fall short. Thank you for the Lord Jesus. 
Thank you that he stands in the gap. Thank you that we have his 
blood and his righteousness. And it's in his name that we 
pray. Amen. The Bible has a lot to say to 
children, and here specifically children are addressed as being 
assumed to being a part of or being within the life of the 
Church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Perhaps some of you children, 
certainly you adults, have all heard the maxim, children are 
better seen than heard. Now, Paul here speaks specifically 
to the children. So, while some may marginalize 
children, while some may say they're unimportant, God in the 
Scripture speaks specifically to children. In fact, there's 
a commandment that I believe undergirds this statement here 
in chapter 3, verse 20. It is the fifth commandment where 
children in Israel were addressed specifically with their responsibility 
to father and mother. Now, as Reformed Christians, 
we believe that law given to Israel is simply the codification 
or the summary of the moral law written on the heart of man at 
creation. So this is hardwired. God has 
built us in such a manner that we respond well, that we should 
understand this admonition for children to obey their parents. This is right in the sight of 
God. This is a no-brainer. So if anything, 
this is a reminder for the children here at the Free Grace Baptist 
Church. So we'll take up the instruction 
to children under several considerations, and then we'll move our attention 
to some instruction to fathers. And again, several considerations. 
But notice, first of all, as I've already mentioned, the party 
address. The party addressed children. 
Paul assumed, Paul presupposed, Paul realized and knew that children 
would be in the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ. We don't need 
a doctrine of paedo-baptism to mandate this instruction. It 
is a no-brainer that people who have been saved by grace through 
faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, whether they be paedo-baptists 
or credo-baptists, are going to bring their children to church. Baptists want their children 
to hear the gospel and sit under the instruction of God's holy 
word just like any paedo-baptist does. That does not need to be 
in place, that we have a view of infant sprinkling that necessitates 
this idea that children being in the church. They're going 
to be there by virtue of God's created order. We want to indoctrinate 
We want to instruct, we want to rear our children in the fear 
and admonition of the Lord. It certainly stands to reason 
that on the Sabbath day, when the redeemed of the Lord go to 
the house of God, they certainly bring their children to the house 
of God as well. The Lord God Almighty, in this 
particular verse, addresses children. It's a beautiful thing. The Lord 
leaves no stone unturned. He speaks to every matter of 
faith and practice. The Lord God does not disregard 
children. The Lord God, as we have seen 
in our studies in Malachi, wants a godly offspring. One of the 
functions, one of the reasons why the Lord operates the way 
He does. is when He redeems us, He calls 
us to bring up our children in a manner consistent with His 
Word, so that more and more people will be converted in that sphere 
of natural affection, in that sphere of natural domestic tranquility. It is a great place for the people 
of God to instruct their offspring In the truth of God, O'Brien 
says, the children are addressed as responsible persons within 
the congregation. So that means children and young 
people, when you come here. It's not a matter of, well, I've 
just got to occupy time in my head until the preaching is over. I've just got to try to keep 
myself busy in my head until Pastor Butler says, Amen, or 
closes. Children, you are being addressed 
here as responsible persons. within the context and the confines 
of the local church of Jesus Christ our Lord. You are responsible 
not only to pay attention, but you are responsible to heed the 
word of the living and true God. You can't say, but I'm just a 
little guy or I'm just a little girl. None of this has effect 
upon me. No, God the Lord speaks to you 
as a rational creature, as one who has a mind, as one who is 
capable of thought, as one who can receive instruction. God 
the Lord commands you in a specific task, in a specific responsibility, 
and that causes us to consider, secondly, what you are to do. Obey your parents in all things. Not argue with your parents in 
all things. Not disobey your parents in all 
things. Not be a lawyer toward your parents. I'm sure some of you people have 
this idea that your child is going to be an attorney. They 
have all these arguments, and all these reasons, and all these 
abilities to put together statements, and to rationalize, and to try 
and explain, and to try and get you thinking that you're the 
one who's nuts. that they're just perfectly consistent, 
responsible, and doing what they're supposed to do every step of 
the way, and it's you, mom or dad, that don't have a clue. 
Notice that Paul's mandate here is very clear. Obey your parents. Obey, I want to teach you Greek 
here, means obey. Pretty simple, isn't it? We don't 
need lexicons. We don't need that back wall 
of my study that has the sort of great definition. It's very 
simple. Obey. That means do what you're 
told. That means do it when you're 
told. That means don't ask why. That 
means don't scratch your melon. That means do what you're supposed 
to do when your parents tell you to do it. Now again, we make 
the necessary qualification as we did with wives. Be submissive 
to your own husbands as to the Lord in all things except sin. If your father or your mother 
wants to harm you or do wicked things to you, you don't obey 
in that particular situation. You must obey God rather than 
men. And it's an unfortunate reality, 
but we have to put out this qualification, because we live in a godless 
age, in a wicked age, in a profligate age, when men who ought to protect 
their children are violating them. May God in heaven keep 
any man or woman in this congregation from ever engaging in such abominable 
activities. That's the qualification. As 
far as your parents are telling you right things, obey them. Do what they say. Do when they 
say it. Do how they say it. And work 
on the attitude while you're at it. Because just going through 
the motions isn't exactly what the Lord God is looking for. 
Obedience is what He calls us to do. Edie says, the love of 
the child's heart naturally leads it to obedience. Only an unnatural 
child can be a domestic rebel. Generally speaking, children 
want to please and obey their parents. I understand sin. I 
understand remaining sin. I understand that bent in our 
hearts. I understand that darkness. I 
understand that depravity. But all things being equal, generally 
speaking, children want to obey their parents. Remember, the 
contrary is an abomination to the Lord God Most High. As you 
children think about this admonition, this command, children, obey 
your parents. Think about how God despises 
the contrary. Think about how God hates, God 
loathes, God abhors, God can't when children disobey their parents. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious 
son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of 
his mother, it's important for us in biblical ethics to understand 
that here in Deuteronomy 21 we're dealing with an adult son. We're 
not dealing with a two-year-old who's got a bit of a temper tantrum. 
We don't deliver him over in his diapers and his runny nose 
to the elders of the city and call for his execution. We're 
dealing with an adult son who's a rebel, who's a drunkard, who's 
a glutton. He's had time to mature into 
the wretched specimen of a human being that he is. But I just 
want to underscore God's mind, God's heart, God's will toward 
the incorrigible son, the rebel son who doesn't obey. the rebel 
son who will not obey, the rebel son who refuses to obey, and 
who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them. Then 
his father and his mother shall take all of him and bring him 
out to the elders of the city to the gate of the city. And 
they shall say to the elders of the city, this son of ours 
is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He 
is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city 
shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall put away 
the evil from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear again. I'm not suggesting you take your 
two-year-old who won't take his bottle or he won't clean his 
room and deliver him up to Pastor Cam and I and say, this son is 
a rebel. He's a glutton. He's a drunkard. 
And we want to execute him. That's not what I'm suggesting. 
I want you kids to see how God takes seriously parental authority, 
domestic tranquility, and your responsibility to obey your parents. Proverbs chapter 30 and verse 
17. The eye that mocks his father 
and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will 
pick it out and the young eagles will eat it. The terrifying picture, 
isn't it? Kids, if you're disobedient, 
you refuse to honor your parents, you refuse to obey them, you 
happen to walk out some day and there's a bunch of ravens and 
eagles sitting in your tree, may I suggest you run back inside 
and repent? May I suggest that you cover 
your eyes, run inside, get on your knees before your parents 
and say, please forgive me? It's a horrific picture, isn't 
it? The ravens will pluck your eyes out. This is God's mind 
with reference to disobedient, incorrigible, wretched children. Romans chapter one. Romans chapter 
1, we are most mindful of Romans chapter 1 as Christians when 
we launch our attack on homosexuality. Because Paul speaks in that chapter 
about homosexuality. It is not a legitimate lifestyle. 
It is not an alternate lifestyle. I'm not advocating we hate homosexuals. Not saying that at all, but because 
we love them and we fear God, we ought to preach the truth 
that God abominates this particular sin. But it's not the only sin 
that He abominates. Now, certainly here He calls 
it against nature. It is against the created order. But it's very interesting to 
me that as Paul highlights this vice list, After speaking about 
men with men and women exchanging the natural use for what is against 
nature, he then goes on in verse 28 to say, and even as they did 
not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over 
to a debased mind to do those things which are not fitting, 
being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, 
covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, strife, 
deceit, evil-mindedness. They are whisperers, backbiters, 
haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, 
disobedient to parents. Do you think a man just ends 
up in a horrible place because he always obeyed in his youth? Do you think he always did what 
his parents told him? He always submitted to authority? 
I've got to tell you kids something very, very important. If you 
have a problem with authority in the home, it's probably going 
to carry outside of the home. I'm not a prophet, I'm not the 
son of a prophet, but if you have a problem with the authority 
whom God has placed over you, who exercises that authority 
in the orbit of love, in the orbit of compassion, in the orbit 
of kindness. No, it's not perfection. Fathers 
and mothers mess up, to be sure. But by and large, they are seeking 
to do what is right before God and before you. If you have a 
problem with that natural affection authority, what's it going to 
be like when you have a boss who can't stand you? When you 
have a policeman who doesn't care one whit about you? When 
you have people in your life who have no affection for you 
whatsoever, do you think you're going to just gravitate toward 
them in an obedient and submissive fashion? If you have problems 
in the home with authority, nine times out of ten it will carry 
outside the home and you'll be that guy. You see, God is angry 
within subordination. God abominates those who are 
disobedient to parents. A description of the character 
of the last days includes this particular sin. I believe we're 
living in the last days. I believe that the last days 
is that period of time between the first and the second coming 
of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul writes about that period 
in 2 Timothy 3. Know this, that in the last days, 
again, it is a theological identifier. for the time frame between the 
first and the second coming of Jesus. We're not waiting for 
the last days. We're not looking to the last 
days. We're in the last days because Paul can describe these 
things and tell Timothy, avoid such men as these, which highlights 
the fact that Timothy was in the last days. It is a theological 
identifier of a particular time frame. But notice, kids, what 
he says. In the last days, perilous times 
will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, 
lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents. You take the career criminal, 
nine times out of ten, you trace back to his infant days. You 
trace back to his toddlership. You trace back to his teenage 
years. He wasn't the obedient child. There are patterns established. There is a disposition confirmed. There is a hardness that ensues. Disobedient to parents, unthankful, 
unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, 
brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of 
pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness 
but denying its power, and from such people, Timothy, such people 
that punctuate the last days, turn away from them. You see, 
God despises this. Back to Colossians 3, the duty 
is clear. Obey your parents in all things. That is the scope. The all things, of course, does 
not include criminal activity, does not include abuse, does 
not include other violations of God's law. But the all things 
is comprehensive. Your parents tell you to do something, 
do it. When did we ever get to this 
point where we let children dictate? Where we let children define 
the terms. We let children call the shots. 
We let children actually say, you know, that just doesn't work 
for me. Oh, really? That just doesn't work for you? 
Well, tell me what works for you, son, daughter, because we're 
a you-focused life, or we're a you-focused family. So you 
call the shots, and we'll do whatever you say. I'm sorry, 
kids, but you don't know what's best. No, I'm not even sorry. 
I don't know what's best. None of us knows what's best. 
Best is following God's will, God's mind, God's word. You do 
not know what's best for you. When your parents say, I don't 
want you to go there. Don't go there. I don't want you to do 
that. Don't do that. I want you to do this. Do this. 
Not to say your parents are perfect. Remember, we considered the Lord 
Jesus. He continued in subjection to Mary and Joseph. They weren't 
perfect. They weren't sinless. They weren't 
perfect people. And yet our Lord Jesus continued 
in subjection to them. That was at the age of 12. He 
starts His public ministry at the age of 30. People always 
wonder, what did He do in those mysterious years? Why doesn't 
the Bible record that? Because it was uneventful. You would read and it would say 
He got up. He had some food, he went to work, he came home, 
he had some food, he went to bed. Next day, he got up, he 
ate some food, he went to work, came home, ate some food and 
went to bed. You want 20 years of that? Everybody wants to know about 
those mysterious years between 12 and 30. It's pretty simple. Is this not the carpenter's son? They all knew who he was. They 
all saw him swinging the hammer every day. They all saw him planing 
wood or doing whatever it is that wood needs done to it. The 
carpenter brothers are going, dude, come on. It was uneventful, but it was 
marked by subjection to lawful authority in his life. The fifth 
commandment was vital. You see, if Jesus at the age 
of 20 carried on like any 20-year-old today, we would all die in our 
sins. You see, he had to obey perfectly. 
He had to follow exactly the Fifth Amendment. He had to fulfill 
all righteousness. So from ages 12 to 30, what was 
characteristic and typical of the life of our Lord was hard 
work, basic human society, subjection to his parents. That's it. Obey in all things. Again, John 
Eady says the principle involved in the admonition is that children 
are not the judges of what they should or should not obey in 
parental precepts. They're not the judges. This 
is the way it's going to be, mom or dad. What? What world are you living in? 
Because this isn't God's world. Who actually gave you the idea 
that you're the judge and the arbiter? Kids, the best thing 
you can do is embrace God's work, to embrace God's will, and to 
obey your parents. And then notice the Christocentric 
motivation. That means Christ-centered motivation. Children, obey your parents in 
all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. That's another thing. People not only want to know 
what was going on between ages 12 and 30. They're always wondering, 
what is the will of the Lord for me? What is the will of the 
Lord for me? I've got to find out the will 
of the Lord for me. You know the will of the Lord. 
I guarantee you know the will of the Lord. Just do it. Am I 
going to be a lawyer? Am I going to be a doctor? Am 
I going to be a college professor? What am I? Obey your parents. That's the will of the Lord. 
This is pleasing to the Lord. This makes the Lord look down 
from heaven, enthroned on high, and smile. You see, sometimes 
Christians get this zany idea that we can only serve the Lord 
doing the great. We can only serve the Lord by 
looking after orphans in China. We can only serve the Lord by 
being the Apostle Paul. We can only serve the Lord by 
being a pioneer missionary. Ten-year-old child, when you 
obey your parents, according to Paul, and I take his authority, 
this is pleasing to the Lord. Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that 
dignity to all of life? There is dignity, there is sanctity, 
there is blessedness in the most mundane thing. Kid, go in and 
clean your room. I don't know that most of us 
parents speak that way, but permit me for the moment. And the kid 
goes in and cleans his room. What does Paul say? This is pleasing 
to the Lord. Get that in your mind and heart. Why submit to your own husbands 
as is fitting in the Lord? The Lord looks down from heaven, 
and when He sees new men and new women and new boys and new 
girls in Christ Jesus, functioning the way He designed us to function, 
it's pleasing to Him. It's something He delights in. 
It's something He likes. It's a Christocentric motivation 
here for obedience to the parent. And then notice, specifically, 
The old covenant, I don't even want to say that, the moral law 
foundation of this. Children, obey your parents in 
all things. In the parallel, in Ephesians, 
the apostle Paul says, obey, and then he says, honor your 
father and your mother, which is the first commandment with 
promise. So the moral law, it's hardwired in, it is foundational 
to life in God's world, is this fifth commandment, where we are 
called to honor, where we are called to obey, where we are 
called to render up the attitude that is consistent with the authority 
over us. The child is to count as valuable. We are to value, we are to honor, 
we are to revere our parents. We are to consider them as weighty, 
as heavy, The idea there, this honor, something is honorable 
because it's heavy, it's weighty, it's solid, it's worth value. That's what we're told. The confession 
or the catechism says, what is required in the fifth commandment? 
The fifth commandment requires the preserving the honor and 
performing the duties belonging to everyone in their several 
places and relations as superiors, inferiors, or equal. The new 
humanity described in Colossians 3 is not an antinomian society. They are not a people who are 
to throw off the law, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, 
they are to walk according to the law, which is pleasing to 
the Lord, and this brings Him glory and honor. That's Paul's 
point here. That's Paul's intention. That is Paul's thrust. And then 
notice specifically there is a promise. I've already mentioned 
the parallel that it may be well with you and you may live long 
on the earth. The blessing of God is upon those 
who obey. Now I realize sometimes people 
obey and traumatic things happen to them. Sometimes people obey 
and they end up persecuted for their faith. Stephen was an obedient 
man who came to a violent end. The general principle, the general 
outworking in God's moral universe is such that if you do what the 
Lord God calls you to, there can be this confident hope, this 
confident, dare I say, expectation and faith that things will go 
well with you. You can pretty much guarantee 
that if you're disobedient, that if you rebel against authority, 
if you do not care whatsoever about God's created order, it's 
probably not going to go well with you. Again, Hodge says this 
is the usual course of God's providence. Ede again, it is 
a principle of the divine administration and the usual course of providence. Obey your parents and the Lord. 
Honor your father and your mother that you may live long on the 
earth. It's an interesting thing as 
well. Fifth commandment given to Israel, that it may go well 
with you in the land, universalized by the Apostle Paul, applicable 
to Gentile Christians in Ephesians 6, that it may go well with you 
in the earth that the Lord your God is giving to you. Children, 
obey. Parents, when you go home, say, 
you should listen to that sermon. Doesn't it facilitate the domestic 
sphere? Kids, can I just tell you, it's 
really hard when you don't do what you're supposed to do. Just 
speaking practically here. It throws a real fly in the ointment. Puts a real burr under the saddle. 
This kind of messes everything up. It's not a good way for you 
to live, disobedient to your parents. Eventually you'll be 
disobedient to the cops, disobedient to lawful authority, disobedient 
in every sphere. Obedience. It's better to obey 
than to sacrifice. It's not God's will, God's mind, 
God's heart for us. Obey Him. Some instruction for 
the fathers. Notice in verse 21, fathers do 
not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. The 
fathers here are addressed specifically as heads of the household, both 
in the Christian sphere and in the empire. It's not a neglect 
of the mother. What is envisioned here is father 
and mother, but the father is addressed as the head of his 
particular home. Again, Edy says the training 
of children is the father's special function. For the duty is devolved 
upon him to select and put into operation the best means and 
methods for the culture of his offspring. Father is charged 
with this particular task. Again, he will use the resources 
of a godly wife. Mother is involved, to be sure. 
But the buck stops with the father. The father is the authority, 
the father is the head of the household, and so fathers are 
hereby instructed and addressed primarily. Fathers, do not provoke 
your children lest they become discouraged. We'll unpack that 
in just a moment, but consider a couple of good godly examples 
of fatherhood. I know that many of you have 
heard sermons like this from this pulpit. You know that I'm 
thinking of Abraham. God says that he was a man who 
walked in the fear of God. He promoted godliness in his 
household, in his family. He had allegiance, first and 
foremost, to God. You see, that's one of the mistakes, 
I think, that Christian parents can unwittingly fall into. We 
put the children first. Now hear me, brothers and sisters. 
God always comes first. The best gift you can give to 
your wife is to fear God. The best gift you can give to 
your husband is to fear God. The best gift you can give to 
your parents is to fear God. The best gift you can give to 
your children is to fear God. Klaus Bachmuel. Says the parents who reject the 
first commandment can expect their children to reject the 
fifth one. You don't seek first the kingdom 
of God and His righteousness. You neglect the first commandment. 
You neglect the first table of the law. Don't scratch your head 
and look puzzled when your kids don't have any concern whatsoever 
for the fifth commandment. This is what Bat Muel said. He 
says the parents who do not submit to God should not expect their 
children to submit to them. Abraham commanded his children 
and his servants to keep the way of Yahweh, to do righteousness 
and justice. Joshua, that covenant ratification 
ceremony at Shechem says, as for me and my house, we will 
serve the Lord. Now, did Joshua make that statement so that centuries 
later people could make these little door knockers with that 
phrase on it so that we can adorn our front door with our holy 
commitments to the Lord? Were there Christian marketers 
there at Shechem? That was a good word, Joshua. 
Let's go build. Let's go make plaques. Let's emboss that on a plate. 
Let's make bumper stickers. Certainly in North America, the 
Christian community would go hog wild for that. Some people call them holy horseshoes 
or whatever it is. We purchased that Get the thrust 
of the message in your heart. What is Joshua doing in that 
covenant ratification ceremony at Shattuck? He's throwing down 
the gauntlet. We've come into a new land. We're 
surrounded by pagan deities. We're surrounded by all sorts 
of competitor gods. What are you going to do? Are 
you going to follow Moloch? Are you going to follow Baal? 
Are you going to follow Asherah? He says, as for me and my house, 
we're going to serve the Lord. We're going to side with Yahweh. 
As the leader of the community, Joshua is putting his money where 
his mouth is. I love what he says. We are to 
fear Yahweh. We're to serve Yahweh. We're 
to put away idols. Matthew Henry says Joshua was 
a ruler, a judge in Israel, yet he did not make his necessary 
application to public affairs an excuse for the neglect of 
family religion. He doesn't say, I'm so busy leading 
Israel, I don't have time for you. No, he says, as for me and 
my house, we will serve the Lord. Negative examples. You can already 
know who I'm going to say. Eli and his sons. His sons were 
priests in the service of the temple of God Most High. Well, at that time it was the 
tabernacle. They stole sacrifices. They lay with women. The theological 
foundation upon which these vices flowed was that they did not 
know Yahweh. Well, they knew Him patechinically. 
They knew who God was. They didn't know him experientially. 
Now, I know that Eli could not control that. Eli could not regenerate 
his children. And yet Eli was held culpable 
and responsible for not restraining his children. See, the law can't 
change the heart, but it certainly restrains the heart less. And 
a parent who avoids the implementation of the law of God Most High is 
not doing his job. And Eli was not doing his job. As men of God, we had better 
understand law and gospel. And we better be able to press 
the one and call them to the other. If we are negligent in 
this area, we are going to end up like Eli. How about the man 
in the book of Proverbs? He who spares his rod. read the newest book on how to 
deal with children, and the rod only creates an environment of 
distrust. He who spares his rod hates his 
son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Now the Proverbs 
isn't all rod to the neglect of reproof. In fact, reproof 
outguns rod. But nevertheless, the two aspects 
of training are there in the book of Proverbs. Paul alludes 
to this in the parallel passage in Ephesians 6. We only have 
the negative statement here in Colossians 3. Do not provoke 
your children. But in the book of Ephesians, 
he gives the positive element involved in child rearing as 
well. Let's just look at this prohibition 
here in Colossians 3. Fathers do not provoke your children 
lest they become discouraged. The word provoke here means to 
excite, to provoke, to irritate. Fathers are spoken to since training 
is their duty and because this peculiar sin which the apostle 
condemns is one to which they and not mothers are particularly 
liable. Mothers don't generally, because 
there's that niceness factor, that natural affection factor. Remember that Paul seems to be 
dealing with areas of particular temptation. Husbands, do not 
be embittered against your wives. Most husbands, at least professing 
Christian husbands, don't want to punch their wives, but certainly 
the temptation is there to be bitter against them. Most Christian 
women don't want to just kill their men. But one of the difficulties 
and one of the temptations is that they don't want to submit 
to the men. Fathers, what is the particular 
temptation? What is the particular tendency? 
What might you have a disposition towards? Provoking your children. Don't do that. They'll be discouraged. I already read that text in Deuteronomy 
21 about the incorrigible son. Douglas Moo links this passage 
with that passage. He says the text most relevant 
to Colossians 321, however, and one that Paul may well have had 
in mind is Deuteronomy 21, where parents are charged with bringing 
a disobedient son before the elders and proclaiming, this 
son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a 
profligate and a drunkard. Paul, in effect, is exhorting 
fathers to raise their children in such a way to do the utmost 
to avoid provoking this kind of rebellious attitude in them. Don't do this. Now, this is one 
of those passages, this is one of those sermons where we're 
all guilty, right? I am not standing up here as 
the guru of godly parenting. Just watch me, brethren. I'm 
going to write books. Colossians 321.com. Jim Butler's School of Good Parenting. These are hard texts. These are 
difficult passages. What brother out there has never 
provoked his child? What brother out there has never 
discouraged his child? What brother out there doesn't 
stand constantly in need of blood, the blood of another? That doesn't minimize the responsibility 
as new men in Christ, we are being called upon to not provoke 
our children lest they become discouraged. The discouragement 
in view means to be without courage or spirit, to lose heart, to 
become spiritless. We want to neuter our children. 
We want to drive out their character. You know, God is at war not with 
our nature. He's at war with our sin. As 
fathers, we ought to be at war with the sinful bent, with the 
bad and the dark disposition, but not our children. They're 
our children. We should just love them, care 
for them. As we engage in the various elements 
of upbringing, we do so with love, with affection. We care for them. They know that 
we care for them. We want to be with them. Some 
examples. Unrighteous anger. You need to 
guard against that. I mean, just because you read 
a biography that says John Calvin struggled with anger doesn't 
mean it's OK to be angry at your kids. Does it? I read a clip recently that John 
Gill, I want to verify this, but I saw this, not that it was 
on the internet, so therefore, John Gill was up at first light 
in the winter, and he was up about six o'clock in the summer, 
or maybe it was vice versa. Six o'clock in the winter, first 
light, summer. And he had chocolate for breakfast in his study every 
morning. Now does that mean hot chocolate? 
Does it mean Hershey bars? What does that mean? Let's just 
say it was Hershey bars. That doesn't mean I can have 
Hershey bars in my study every day. See, well, John Gill did 
it. He was godly. He was a Hebrew 
scholar. He knew the rabbis, man. He knew 
his Bible. He ate chocolate. Unrighteous anger provokes our 
children and discourages them. Unrighteous anger. We need to 
be men of control, self-control. We can't control ourselves. How 
can we preach self-control to our children? You punch holes 
in the wall. You yell. You scream. You throw 
things at mom. You're going to tell me I need 
to have self-control? Unbiblical discipline. The Bible 
authorizes reproof and rod. Neglecting discipline is a reality. Eli didn't restrain his sons. Eli knew what they were doing. 
They're the priests of God Most High and they're prostituting 
temple sacrifice and they're actually lying with temple prostitutes. Remove them from the premises. Don't let that go on. The paternal 
reign is not to be one of terror and stern authority, but of love. 
The rod may be employed, but in reason and moderation and 
never for momentary impulse, and anger I've shared before. 
My remembrance of my mother giving us the rod was chasing us through 
the house, wielding a yardstick through the air, screaming, hollering, 
us running as fast as... That's not biblical discipline. Thankfully, she never connected, 
which a yardstick really isn't that strong anyway. Listen to what the brother says. 
The rod may be employed, but in reason and moderation and 
never from momentary impulse and anger. Children are not to 
be moved to wrath by harsh and unreasonable treatment or by 
undue partiality and favoritism. Another thing, you've got five 
kids, but it's obvious who the one you really love. I suspect 
all kids will suspect that someone is, you know, head and shoulders 
above the rest. Don't give any credence to them. 
Don't exasperate. Don't camp on the one with the 
rod and the other you treat like they're the angelic one. They 
fell out of heaven. Sometimes parents are tempted 
to say, why aren't you like your brother? He fell out of heaven. 
He only ever does what we tell him. The only thing we ought 
to do for him is help him clean the back of his wings from time 
to time. Why can't you be more like that? The only family where 
that could have ever worked is in the family of the Lord Jesus 
Christ. Magic being his earthly brother. Why aren't you more 
like Jesus? That's the only time it would 
have fit. Joseph and Mary were the only ones who could have 
done that. And I suspect if they were godly people, they didn't 
do that. Kids are different. They're unique. This one's not that one. Strengths, 
weaknesses, disposition, all that goes into the mix. We need 
to be careful. Bridges says the rod without 
affection is revolting tyranny. Bridges again says Satan begins 
with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first 
stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Every vice 
commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish 
authority in the dawn of life. To bend the tender twig before 
the naughty oak is beyond our power. Christian parents have 
lost something of this. Depravity starts young. And the positive, well, there's 
some other examples, unrighteous anger, unbiblical discipline, 
unbiblical demands. Ungodly inconsistency, ungodly 
motives, ungodly imbalance. If it's all law and no gospel, 
guess what? You're going to provoke your 
children. If it's all gospel and no law, you're not going 
to discipline, and that will provoke your children. You need 
to understand command and demand and imperative, and you need 
to understand there is a fountain open for sin and uncleanness. The positive exhortation found 
in Ephesians 6, again, we just have the negative prohibition 
here in Colossians 3. Do not provoke your children 
lest they become discouraged. Positively bring them up. Nourish, 
provide with tender care, cultivate, educate, train, discipline, love, 
act in the training of the Lord, admonition with encouragement 
and reproof in the orientation of the Lord. You see, there's 
a positive admonition. There's a negative prohibition. 
And as fathers, we need to take these things seriously. We need 
to pray them in. We need to understand the great 
responsibility that is ours. And we need to go into this situation 
with fear and trembling and with absolute dependence upon God 
the Lord. Parenting is tough. Parenting is tough. Kids, you 
may think it's hard living underneath your parents. You don't know 
what it's like. trying to govern, trying to rule, 
trying to do so in the fear of God. I mean, if you're ungodly 
or wretched, you don't care, there's no standards, there's 
no thought whatsoever of accountability or responsibility. Yeah, I guess, 
you know, those people exist. Within the Church of Jesus Christ, 
any Christian, any man or woman who is a parent realizes that 
this is a high and a difficult calling. And it should cast us 
in mercy and in dependence upon the Lord God Almighty. Children, 
I want to remind you, obey your parents in all things. You hear 
us talk a lot about Spurgeon in this church. C.H. Spurgeon, 
Charles Haddon Spurgeon. You've probably heard this quote 
before. He says, fathers and mothers are the most natural 
agents for God to use in the salvation of their children. 
You know, of all the arguments that are pro-pedo-baptism, I 
think that's one of the ones that's most offensive. You baptists 
just, you don't care. You treat your kids like heathen. 
They're not covenant children. You somehow don't have that affection 
that Pato Sprinkler has. That's offensive, man. We Baptists 
want our children to hear the truth. We Baptists want to catechize 
our children. We Baptists want them to know 
the truth of God. And we Baptists by and large 
believe that oftentimes in God's redemptive plan, he uses the 
family. He uses the home. He uses that 
context where Christian instruction goes on on a daily basis. cause 
that great change to take place. Not always, but oftentimes within 
the context of a family where there is faithful doctrine, faithful 
living, God causes children to pass from darkness to life. It's 
beautiful. It's wonderful. They don't all 
need a dramatic conversion. They don't all have to go out 
and desire the food that pigs are eating and then come back 
broken and cast themselves upon sovereign mercy. Very often the 
change can be imperceptible. Spurgeon alludes to this. Fathers 
and mothers are the most natural agents for God to use in the 
salvation of their children. I am sure that in my early youth 
no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the 
instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive that to 
any child there can be one who will have such influence over 
the young heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for 
her offspring. A man with a soul so dead as 
not to be moved by the sacred name of mother is creation's 
blot. Never could it be possible for 
any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother, and of course, 
a godly father. Read John G. Peyton and see his 
account of his father. His heart stirring. His father 
saw him off to go to the New Hebrides to preach the gospel 
of Jesus Christ. To be, as I think Spurgeon referred 
to him as, the king of the cannibals. And what he owes to his upbringing? 
The godly father who prayed. The godly father who preached. The godly father who taught him 
the scripture. Children, obey your parents. 
Fathers, in terms of some practical things, presents. By that I don't 
mean go to Canadian Tire and buy them things. Presents. Be 
with them. I'm not advocating that you quit 
your job and be a stay-at-home dad. I am advocating, though, 
that you need to spend time with your children. Absolutely crucial. Isn't it? It's got to be quality. This 
quantity. Put in time. Be with your kids. 
Provision. Same rules apply as we said last 
week. Husbands need to provide for 
their wives. Fathers need to provide for their 
children. Not only food. Not only shelter. Not only clothing. Protection. Don't harm your kids. If you're 
not sure what biblical discipline looks like, ask somebody. You smacking your kid till they're 
in tears, bleeding, dying, crying, agonizing isn't biblical discipline. If you're not sure, ask somebody. 
Find an older brother in the congregation. Find somebody who 
has children that look like they're emotionally stable and ask them, 
how did you discipline? What does it mean? There's good 
books you can read. Proverbs, filled with the information. Protect your kids. Pray for your 
kids. Being a godly father requires 
prayer. Bridges on Proverbs 13. He says, 
if there is no earthly substance to leave. The text is, a godly 
man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. Listen 
to Bridges. If there is no earthly substance 
to leave, yet a church in the house, a family altar, the record 
of holy example and instruction, and above all, a store of believing 
prayer laid up for accomplishment, when we shall be silent in the 
grave, will be an inheritance to our children of inestimable 
value. You may not be able to buy their 
new car. You may not be able to put them into the best schools 
in Canada. But if you pray for them, you 
instill in them the fear of the Lord, you teach them God's holy 
word, that's the best inheritance you can pass on to a child. And 
then fathers, preach to them. Preach to them. Not necessarily, 
okay, everybody sit down on the couch. Daddy's got three points. 
First of all, second of all, we got the Greek, we got the 
Hebrew. No. Teach them the truth. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our 
God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your 
God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your 
strength. You shall diligently teach these precepts to your 
children when you rise up, when you walk by the way, when you 
lie down. Informal instruction. Teach them 
about God. Make sure they're under faithful 
preaching. Make sure they've got a Bible. 
Make sure they're knowing that there's resources, books, all 
those things. Teach them the truth of God. 
That's absolutely crucial for us as fathers. Presence, provision, 
protection, prayer, and preaching. Fathers ought to be able to instruct 
children in the law, in the gospel, in those things most surely believed 
among us. If you do not know yourself, 
Then pick up and read, study the confession of faith. You 
want to be able to explain justification, read that chapter in our confession. 
It's pretty clear. You don't have to be a rocket 
scientist. You know, the law of the Lord makes wise the simple. 
Many of us say, praise God for that. Your law makes me wiser 
than my instructors. Praise God for that. You don't 
have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to teach your children 
that there is a fountain open for sin and uncleanness. Teach them to fly to Christ. 
Teach them to believe the gospel. Teach them that Jesus is the 
one who saves to the uttermost all who draw nigh unto God through 
him. So as children, as fathers and 
mothers, to be sure, let us go by the grace of God, taking Colossians 
3 seriously. Set our mind on Christ. Put off 
the sins of the flesh. Put off the sins of the tongue. 
Put on those virtues that Paul enjoins. Flesh them out in the 
church. And flesh them out in the home. And until such time as we believe 
the gospel, that can't be. So if we find ourselves here 
this morning, we're not in Christ, believe. Look to Christ. Look 
to the Savior. Look to the one who said, all 
that the Father gives me will come to me. And the one who comes 
to me, I will certainly not cast out. Believe on him and you shall 
be saved. Well, let us pray. Our Father, 
we thank you for your word. We thank you for its clarity 
and its instruction in all areas of our lives. We thank you that 
you've not left us as orphans in this world. You've provided 
your Holy Spirit. You've provided your sure word. 
We pray that you would help us to receive these things. Forgive 
us for our sins and grant us grace to go and to put these 
things into practice. I pray for all of the children. 
I pray for the young people. I pray that they would have ears 
to hear. And if they are not in Christ, 
may this word of law, may this command break them and show them 
their sin, show them their wretchedness and show them their need for 
the Lord Jesus Christ to cleanse them, to wash them, to purify 
them. I just pray that you would do 
this for your glory sake, Lord God. And we ask through Jesus 
Christ, our Lord. Amen. We're actually going to 
close this morning service by singing hymn number seven in 
our hymn book. hymn number seven, and I'll ask 
you to stand as we sing. be glorious now. And blessed 
be this glorious day to all eternity. For the whole earth let its glory 
fill, come and dwell there with me. The Lord bless you and keep you. 
The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance 
upon you and give you peace.