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to Colossians chapter 3. Colossians chapter 3, our focus 
is on verses 20 and 21, but I do want to read beginning in Colossians 
3 at verse 1. If then you were raised with 
Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting 
at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, 
not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is 
hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, 
appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Therefore 
put to death your members which are on the earth, fornication, 
uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath 
of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, in which you 
yourselves once walked when you lived in them. But now you yourselves 
are to put off all these anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy 
language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since 
you have put off the old man with his deeds and have put on 
the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image 
of Him who created Him, where there is neither Greek nor Jew, 
circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor 
free, but Christ is all and in all. Therefore, as the elect 
of God, holy and beloved, Put on tender mercies, kindness, 
humility, meekness, long-suffering, bearing with one another and 
forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, 
even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all 
these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection, and 
let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you 
were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word 
of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing 
one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing 
with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do 
in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving 
thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own 
husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives 
and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in 
all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, 
do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 
Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the 
flesh, not with eye service, as men pleasers, but in sincerity 
of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily, 
as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you 
will receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the 
Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be 
repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, 
give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you 
also have a master in heaven. Continue earnestly in prayer, 
being vigilant in it with thanksgiving. Meanwhile, praying also for us 
that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery 
of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it 
manifest as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward those who 
are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with 
grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to 
answer each one. Well let us pray. Father we thank 
you for the written word and we pray now for the ministry 
of the Holy Spirit who gave the word. We ask God that you would 
encourage our hearts and strengthen us in the inner man. Cause us 
to pursue those things that are pleasing in your sight. Those 
things so clearly laid out in a passage like this. May God 
help us to pursue these things in light of the first few verses, 
to focus upon our Lord Jesus, to seek Him, to set our minds 
upon Him, to derive power for the Christian life from the blessed 
enthronement of our Lord Jesus Christ at the right hand of the 
Father. God in heaven, may we indeed operate according to your 
word. And may we indeed obey the commandments 
of God for your glory, for your honor, and for your praise. And 
may we always be mindful that we don't obey as a condition 
for our salvation, but a consequence of you having saved us by grace 
alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone. And we pray these 
things through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. Well, this particular 
section of Scripture, the apostle in chapter 3, beginning in… or 
the section in verses 1 to 4, he calls the people of God to 
consider Christ. If then you were raised with 
Christ, seek those things which are above. In other words, the 
people of God are to be heavenly-minded. The people of God are to set 
their minds on things above, not on things on the earth. And 
he gives us the rationale, verse 3, for you died, your life is 
hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, 
appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. The apostle 
has set forth the glorious truth of the gospel in chapters 1 and 
2. In fact, look back for just a 
moment at chapter 1. Notice, in verses 15 to 20, He 
calls us to reflect upon the supremacy of Jesus Christ. He 
sets forth Christ in His glory as the Creator. He sets forth 
Christ in His glory as the one sovereign in providence. And 
He sets forth Christ in His glory as sovereign in redemption. And 
then notice, very specifically, beginning in verse 19, "...it 
pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, 
and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him whether things 
on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the 
blood of His cross." He gets real applicable to the situation 
of these Christians in Colossae. He says in verse 21, who once 
were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet 
now He has reconciled." So you see, we have moved from this 
place of alienation toward God to reconciliation with God, and 
it comes as a result of the gospel. Notice, verse 22, "...in the 
body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and blameless 
and above reproach in his sight, if indeed you continue in the 
faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the 
hope of the gospel, which you heard, which was preached to 
every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister." 
Notice in chapter 2, beginning in verse 11. In Him, you were 
also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands by putting 
off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of 
Christ, buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised 
with Him through faith in the working of God who raised Him 
from the dead. And you, being dead in your trespasses 
and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made a life together 
with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped 
out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was 
contrary to us, and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed 
it to the cross, having disarmed principalities and powers. He 
made a public spectacle of them. triumphing over them in it. So 
that's the foundation. It's our salvation by grace through 
faith in Christ. Our salvation is tied to the 
cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. So chapter 3 is the consequence. In other words, you've been saved 
by grace. Now here is how you ought to 
live. Chapter 3 ought not to be interpreted 
this way. I need to put off vice, I need 
to put on virtue, I need to be kind to the people in my church, 
I need to be kind to the people in my family, and if I fulfill 
all those requirements, then the Lord will save me. That's 
not the way Colossians 3 is to be read. These people, or Paul, 
addresses them as those who have been saved. This is a prescription 
for the Christian life, for those who have been conquered by the 
grace of God through the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. And 
before we get to the very particular commands and duties and responsibilities, 
Paul wants us to focus upon Christ. Power in the Christian life does 
not come from you. Power in the Christian life does 
not come from you pulling up your bootstraps or knuckling 
under. Now, certainly you need to be 
disciplined. You need to be consistent. You need to be faithful. A fruit 
of the Holy Spirit is, in fact, self-control. But we are always 
to live in light of the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ, and 
that's the emphasis in verses 1 to 3. I'm sorry, 1 to 4, and 
then after that he does tell us we need to put off vice, verses 
5 to 11. You've been saved by the grace 
of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, therefore you need 
to put these things off. You're not supposed to be characterized 
like you were prior to your conversion. He then goes on in verses 12 
to 17 to say we are to put on virtue. In other words, as believers 
in Christ Jesus, we are to pursue those things that are pleasing 
in God's sight. There's a corporate dimension. 
In other words, how we are to function toward one another within 
the context and in the life of the church of the Lord Jesus 
Christ. And then this last section, beginning in chapter 3 at verse 
18 and continuing to chapter 4, verse 1, is sort of a household 
code. It's the way you're supposed 
to conduct yourself in your home. It's the way you're supposed 
to conduct yourself in your several relations, husbands and wives, 
parents and children, masters and servants. There is a code 
of conduct for the people of God, and that is what is set 
forth here by the apostle Paul. So, in other words, we might 
suggest that what we find in terms of this heavenly-mindedness 
enjoined upon us in chapter 3, verses 1 to 4, does not translate 
into asceticism. Now asceticism is this idea where 
we do not touch, we do not taste, we withdraw ourselves from the 
world. The ascetics were the kinds of 
people that would go live in the wilderness. They would build 
these great big poles and live on top of these big poles. Asceticism 
is a withdrawal. But when we see Paul's emphasis 
on engaging our minds toward Christ, it is not with a view 
to withdrawing from life. But rather, heavenly-mindedness 
ought to produce the most consistent earthly conduct. That's the emphasis 
by the apostle. So as I said, we're going to 
take up two of the specifics this evening in verses 20 and 
21. I hope it's an encouragement 
to my brothers who are fathering children. I don't want to be 
too vicious or hard or mean this time around, but I hope that 
you will derive some encouragement. And I think the best encouragement, 
perhaps, fathers, is that I do address the children in verse 
20. So we're going to look at the 
instruction to children in verse 20 and the instruction to fathers. 
I know what it's like to be a father and give your child instruction, 
and you keep doing it, and you keep doing it, and you keep doing 
it, and it seems like they never hear you. Well, tonight you're 
going to have someone else yell at them for you. Actually, I'm 
not going to yell at them. That's your job. but I want to remind 
you children what your relationship is toward your parents. Note, 
the instruction to children, verse 20, the party addressed 
children. You know, there's an old adage 
that children are better seen than heard. Children are better 
seen than heard, but here specifically Paul, writing under the inspiration 
of the Holy Spirit, addresses children. It is very important. The fifth commandment specifically 
addresses children. Honor your father and your mother. So, children, you are being addressed 
by the apostle in Colossians 3.20. If you compare it to a 
parallel passage in Ephesians 6, you would see a similar thing. 
Note, secondly, the duty. You are to obey your parents 
in all things. I mean, when all is said and 
done, your job description is very short. Obey your parents. It's pretty easy, isn't it? In 
terms of what we're supposed to do. Now because of Adam and 
because of sin and because of transgression and rebellion, 
that complicates the execution of this obedience. But in terms 
of your job, in terms of your calling, in terms of your purpose 
on earth, Paul's words are crystal clear and do not bear any misinterpretation. Obey your parents in all things. Now I believe that Paul would 
indeed qualify this or affirm the qualification that I'm about 
to make. If your parents want you to sin, 
don't obey them. If your parents want you to engage 
in some sort of ungodly activity, obviously don't obey them. It's 
similar to the wife's injunction to submit to her husband in all 
things. Well, Paul doesn't mean in sinful things. Paul doesn't 
mean in wicked things. Paul doesn't mean in things contrary 
to the word or law of God. So the mandate is that you submit 
in all lawful things. Obey your parents. And then notice 
the scope of the command is all things. You don't get to pick 
and choose. You don't get to say, well, I 
like 7 out of your 10 rules, or I like 17 out of your 20 rules, 
but these last three are just not going to do it for me. No, 
children, you are to obey in all things. And then note the 
Christocentric motivation. That means the Christ-centered 
motivation. He says, obey in all things, 
for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Now, based on creation, 
you should obey your parents. Based on creation, you ought 
to do what your parents say. But Paul adds this further dimension 
in terms of redemptive privilege, in terms of redemptive privilege, 
a benefit. Obey your parents, for this is 
well-pleasing to the Lord. And then, of course, Paul's command 
here has its foundation in the fifth commandment. The fifth 
commandment tells children to obey their parents. Now, the 
command to obey deals specifically with action. When you are told 
to honor them, that deals with attitude. You see, it's not consistent 
to do it externally, to comply with a particular command while 
your face looks like Nebuchadnezzar's. Did you see that in the reading? 
His expression changed. I think the Hebrew is that his 
nostrils flared. Isn't that intriguing? Nebuchadnezzar 
was so bent out of shape over what was happening under his 
watch that his nostrils flared. Well, we know what that means 
when somebody's nostrils flare. I mean, think of a bull. When 
its nostrils flare, what should you do? Run like the dickens. 
But when a person's nostrils flare, it's typical of the reality 
that they are angry. They are upset. So if your parents 
gives you a particular command, and you comply, you do it, you 
pick up the object and you take it from point A to point B in 
compliance with your parents' instructions, but your nostrils 
are flared, or your eyes are rolling, or your eyebrows are 
doing awkward things, or you've got some other visible demonstration 
of resistance, you are not honoring them. You may engage in the outward 
obedience to the command, but your heart is far from them. 
You see, God's not gonna say, well, you did well, 50% is absolutely 
okay with me. No, the command of God, most 
high, is to be obeyed. You're to obey the parents, external 
compliance with the law, but you are also to do so with an 
attitude of honor toward them. Now, children, if you are tracking, 
you will see that this is difficult, isn't it? You don't have to actually 
nod your heads, I'm just going to say yes for you. The Heidelberg 
Catechism asks the question, how do we know our sin and misery? From the law of God. So if you have questions about 
who Jesus is and why should I fly to Jesus, ponder the law of God. Ponder that fifth commandment. 
Ask yourself, do I comply? Do I obey my parents in all things 
the way God says? Do I honor my parents in all 
things the way God says? I am absolutely 100% convinced 
the answer is going to be a big, fat no. And so the law of God 
in that instance shows you Why you need Jesus Christ? The law 
of God in that instance functions as a tutor, as a helper, as what? That points you to the Savior 
King. So it is good for us to meditate 
upon the law of God. It is good for us to consider 
the ramifications of children. Obey your parents in all things, 
for this is well pleasing in the Lord. If you find that you 
are not compliant, if you find that your hearts are far from 
your parents, if you find that you have rebellion in your soul, 
then flee to the Savior. And once you have gone to the 
Savior, then, by God's grace, you put these things into practice. The law of God is absolutely 
crucial to demonstrate to us our sin and misery. Once we see 
that sin and misery, we run to the Savior. Once we run to the 
Savior, we believe the gospel, we are received by Him, we are 
forgiven of our sins, even fifth commandment violations, we receive 
His righteousness imputed to us, received by faith alone, 
then the Savior is going to point us back to that fifth word. The 
Savior is going to point us back to Colossians 3.20. The Savior 
is going to say, now I want you to walk in obedience to this 
particular command. But lo and behold, as believers, 
you have a resource you didn't previously have, namely the Holy 
Spirit, who enables compliance with the command, who enables 
you by the grace of God to pursue those things that are indeed 
pleasing to the Lord. So children, very simply, verse 
20, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing 
in the Lord. Now, notice secondly, with reference 
to the fathers. The father is addressed. He is 
the party addressed in the first place. He is the head of the 
household. He is the primary responsible 
agent. Now, this was true, obviously, 
in the Roman Empire, but it's certainly true in the larger 
context of biblical revelation. It's not the case that a mother 
is an afterthought. It's not the case that a mother 
is a less important human being. In fact, the injunction in verse 
20 is, obey your parents. plural, we see that as well in 
the fifth word, honor your father and your mother. So we see that 
mothers are definitely included. We already dealt with mothers 
when we looked at Mother's Day or on Mother's Day, but the specific 
emphasis in the text here before us is fathers. You are indeed 
the party addressed. John Eady makes this observation, 
the training of the children or the training of children is 
the father's special function. For the duty is devolved upon 
him to select and put into operation the best means and methods for 
the culture of his offspring. So you see, fathers, we're not 
to be passive in the home. We're not to be lazy in the home. 
We're not to be apathetic in the home. We're not to be lethargic 
in the home. We're not to be absentee in the 
home. But rather, fathers are addressed 
as the responsible agents And I don't think it's an understatement 
to say, as the father goes, so often goes the home. If the father 
is not faithful, if the father is not consistent, if the father 
shirks his responsibility and rejects the admonition of the 
Apostle Paul, then his wife and children are going to be miserable. 
It's going to be the contrary to what we see there in Psalm 
128. The man who fears the Lord, what's his table look like? children 
around the table like olive branches and vines. His wife is happy 
and well-adjusted. Fathers, it is absolutely crucial 
that we take to heart the Apostle's word here. Now notice, secondly, 
there is a prohibition, a prohibition. Paul tells us not to do something. Fathers, do not provoke your 
children lest they become discouraged. Fathers, do not provoke your 
children. The verb simply means, do not 
provoke them. It means to excite them, to provoke 
them or to irritate them. Certainly, you can excite them 
by telling them, hey, we're going to get ice cream today. All right, 
that's the kind of excitement that's acceptable and legit and 
righteous. But the provocation in view here 
is wrong. You are not to provoke your children, 
according to the apostle Paul. John Eady again says, fathers 
are spoken to since training is their duty. And because this 
peculiar sin, which the apostle condemns, is one to which they, 
and not mothers, are particularly liable. It doesn't mean that 
a mother doesn't have it in her, but it means that of the two, 
father and mother, the father is probably more likely the candidate 
to provoke his children. Douglas Moo in his commentary 
makes a very excellent or perceptive observation with reference to 
some background. He says, the text most relevant 
to Colossians 3.21, however, and one that Paul may well have 
had in mind is Deuteronomy 21.20. I'm expecting everybody to remember 
what Deuteronomy 21.20 is. Deuteronomy 21.20 or that section 
is the incorrigible son, the son whom the father and the mother 
has borne long with, the son who is a rebel, the son who rejects 
the parental authority after their involvement in seeking 
to bring him up. It's not a two-year-old, it's 
not a five-year-old, it's an adult rebel son. He's a drunkard 
and he's a glutton. He is ultimately delivered over 
to the elders in the city, and then that boy or that son, rather, 
is put to death. So the text most relevant to 
Colossians 3.21, and one that Paul may have well had in mind, 
is Deuteronomy 21.20, where parents are charged with bringing a disobedient 
son before the elders and proclaiming, this son of ours is stubborn 
and rebellious. It's the same sort of root word 
there, this rebellious and this provocation. He will not obey 
us. He is a profligate and a drunkard. 
So Moose says Paul, in effect, is exhorting fathers to raise 
their children in such a way that they do their utmost to 
avoid provoking this kind of rebellious attitude in them. 
You see, if we're not careful in the exercise of discipline, 
we may actually be provoking our children to a place of more 
grievous rebellion against our authority. Now, note what Paul 
says in terms of the result. Fathers, do not provoke your 
children, lest they become discouragement. Now, the discouragement in view 
means to be without courage or spirit, to lose heart, or to 
become spiritless. Certainly, we ought to discourage 
them when they want to sin. Certainly, we will discourage 
them when we say, no, we can't get ice cream today. I checked 
the coffers and there's not enough dough. That's going to bring 
some discouragement. That's not what Paul's talking 
about. This provocation in the upbringing of your children to 
the point where they are spiritless to the point where they are empty 
shells, to the point where they are in some sense dehumanized 
because you've continually exasperated them or provoked them, to use 
the verb, and brought them to this place of abject discouragement. Paul says don't do that. Now, 
brothers who have children, I want to encourage you by way of a 
reminder that fathering children is one of the greatest responsibilities 
that any man will ever have. There are a lot of things we 
can mess up, and I'm not suggesting go out and mess them up, but 
there are a lot of things that we can mess up, and there are 
not eternal ramifications. But if we are bad fathers, if 
we are lazy, and apathetic, and passive, and we do not involve 
ourselves in the upbringing of our children, we abdicate our 
authority, or we're abusive, or we're tyrannical, or we're 
wretched in some other way, We are going to blow it huge. Now, praise God for His grace, 
praise God for forgiving children, praise God for all of the mercy 
that we see demonstrated in and through His Word, but we need 
to take seriously this responsibility with reference to our children. 
We get one kick at the can. You don't ever get them back 
at two years old. You don't ever get them back 
at four years old. You don't ever get them back 
at six years old. You mess up those years, you don't get a 
mulligan. You know what mulligans are in 
golf? If you slice one off into the woods, you get to call it 
a mulligan and take another shot. I don't know why that popped 
into my head, having golfed since high school, just a bizarre thought 
there, but that's what a mulligan is. You don't get do-overs in 
this thing called fatherhood. As well, the discouragement in 
view promotes anger in the child. It excites their bad passions 
and is an evil influence on the child rather than a good one. Now, we might ask the question, 
how does a father do this? Not so that we can do it, but 
how does a father do this so that we can avoid it? Fathers 
do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. 
In the first place, the exhibition of unrighteous anger. the exhibition 
of unrighteous anger. If you're the kind of guy that 
flies off the handle over everything, that is going to provoke your 
children. I think a good course to pursue, man, is to be faithful, 
to be consistent, to be a man who exercises self-control so 
you're not like this. It's hard to track with somebody 
that's like this, isn't it? One day we're on top of the mountain 
and everything's wonderful. The next day we're down here 
and everything's miserable. Just be faithful, be consistent, 
exercise that fruit of the Spirit which is indeed self-control. 
The exhibition of unrighteous anger and as well the application 
of unbiblical discipline. The Bible authorizes reproof 
and the rod. Again, as I said with reference 
to our Mother's Day sermon, with reference to the rod, we live 
in an increasingly hostile society towards the Bible. Do not advertise 
the types of things that you do. I'm not saying be covert 
and sinful and wicked and all that sort of thing. But brethren, 
be wise, be prudent in this current situation. The Bible does authorize 
such things, and if the Bible authorizes such things and we 
refuse to use such things, then that is going to exasperate or 
provoke a child. A child needs discipline. Kids 
are going to say, don't pursue this thought. You know you need 
discipline. You know you need discipline. I think engraved 
on all our hearts is Proverbs 13, 24. He who spares the rod 
hates his son, but whoever loves him disciplines him promptly. You children know that if your 
fathers or your mothers do not discipline you, it's the absence 
of love or a desire for your well-being. I mean, there were 
times when I was growing up, I thought I should have really 
gotten it good. But I didn't get it good, and 
it made me conclude that perhaps my father wasn't as vested in 
my well-being as he should have been. I knew Proverbs 13, 24 
as a child, or as a teenager, without ever having read Proverbs 
13, 24. I saw it in my own experience. My father was a man who provoked 
me in broad discouragement. Not because he was heavy-handed, 
not because he was tyrannical, not because he was abusive, but 
because he was passive, because he didn't discipline, because 
he didn't demonstrate the love that discipline demonstrates. Isn't this Paul's point in Hebrews 
chapter 12? Before we conclude that this 
whole concept of a father disciplining his child, that's just barbaric, 
it's a throwback to a terrible age. Brethren, Hebrews 12, the 
Apostle Paul tells us that God's discipline of His children is 
the proof that He loves His children. You are illegitimate. You're 
a bastard, to use the King James Version. if you are not disciplined 
by God the Father. It is an evidence, it is a manifestation 
of, it is a proof that the Father loves you when He takes you to 
the woodshed and He gives you discipline. The same is the case 
in the home. Certainly the abdication or the 
lack of application of biblical discipline does provoke a child 
and bring discouragement to them, but so does exercising it in 
an ungodly manner, exercising it as a tyrant, exercising it 
as an abuser. John Eady again says, the paternal 
reign is not to be one of terror and stern authority, but of love. Your children ought to know that 
you're disciplining them out of the context of love. Not because 
you want to ruin their lives, or not because you've got this 
cosmic killjoy attitude that doesn't want them to thrive and 
flourish and be the sorts of people. No, they ought to know. 
And how are they going to know that? Because that's the context 
in which you live. That's the atmosphere, that's 
the aroma, that's the sort of way your home is already set 
up. Albert N. Martin, in his series 
on how not to foul up the training of your children, uses a very 
good analogy. He says when you walk into somebody's 
house, you often know something about the condition of the house 
by the smell. Now, it could be a bad smell 
or it could be a good aroma, right? He says that we as parents 
need to create an aroma, not physically, not in terms of, 
you know, people ought to smell, but we ought to be about creating 
an aroma in our home that is characterized by the sorts of 
things that we see here in Colossians 3, that we see in Galatians 5, 
that we see as fruits of the Holy Spirit. So that when we 
get to that point of disciplining our children, there's no question 
that we're doing it because we love them. They know that. We 
don't even have to tell them, I'm going to do this because 
I love you. They should already know that, men. You should create 
an environment in your home where your children know they're secure, 
they're stable, they're comfortable in the love of a father toward 
them. So Eady says, the rod may be 
employed but in reason and moderation and never from momentary impulse 
and anger. Children are not to be moved 
to wrath by harsh and unreasonable treatment or by undue partiality 
and favoritism. Charles Bridges in his excellent 
commentary on Proverbs, and I think the excellence of his commentary 
on Proverbs is seen in those comments on child-rearing texts. Bridges says, the rod without 
affection is revolting tyranny. Let that sink in. The rod without 
affection is revolting tyranny. You may go through the motions, 
you may engage in the sorts of things that Paul admonishes here, 
but if you don't have love in your heart, it's revolting tyranny. 
But back to the whole idea of abdicating or not engaging in 
reproof and rot or not engaging in discipline, listen to what 
Bridges says. He says, Satan begins with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first 
stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Now, I 
don't think he means go and spank the infant. The idea being is 
that we need to appreciate the validity, the truthfulness, the 
reality of Psalm 58.3. The wicked go estranged from 
the womb, speaking lies as soon as they are born. Right? You 
look at these beautiful little good-smelling things, but they're 
in Adam. They are in Adam. To use a sprolism, 
they are vipers, no actually it was Gerstner. They are vipers 
in diapers. I realize that won't win many 
accolades in the modern climate, but I think Gerstner was right. He says, do we begin as early? 
Every vice commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish 
authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before 
the knotty oak is beyond our power. That's a great statement, 
man. You've got to take it to heart. 
You've got to realize your job is to train those children. And that includes discipline. 
It must mean that you employ it as it is necessary, you employ 
it in the orbit of love, you employ it as a means by which 
you're demonstrating heartfelt affection for the child. It's 
not an impulse, it's not the last result, it's not everything's 
over now, this is it. No, that is not the way to operate 
because you're going to provoke your children and you're going 
to make them discouraged. And as well, the placing of unbiblical 
demands coupled with inconsistency or wrong motives or imbalance. 
If you need help on how to parent your children, read the Bible, 
right? Proverbs especially gives us so many tips and so many helpful 
principles on how to rear these children. But at the same time, 
it's not rocket science. Show them love, show them affection, 
show them your kindness, but as well, show them those things 
they need by way of corrective discipline. You're going to do 
them a favor. You look around us today and 
you see the sorts of things that are going on today and you see 
the lawlessness and the rebelliousness and the just abject wickedness 
of young people all over the world, what are you led to conclude? They weren't disciplined in their 
home. I mean, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? When you see people 
carrying on like fools, you could probably trace it back to bad 
parenting. And I know that doesn't sound 
nice either. We want to blame the government 
or blame the community or blame everything else. Ultimately, 
it's the child. We ought to blame them. But as 
parents, let us not help them on their way to hell by refusing 
to discipline them as God commands. So that's the prohibition. We 
ought to thirdly look at the positive exhortation. This is 
found in the parallel in Ephesians 6. There's not only a prohibition, 
do not provoke them lest they be discouraged or become discouraged, 
but there is a positive exhortation in Ephesians 6. Specifically verse 4, you fathers 
do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in 
the training and admonition of the Lord. Bring them up in the 
training and admonition of the Lord. You see the contraries 
there. Do not provoke them to wrath, but rather bring them 
up in the training and admonition of the Lord." You need to couple 
both things in your parenting. You need to be faithful with 
your children in this particular way. Now, the language employed, 
this in the training, highlights the actions involved, and that 
probably includes education, child training, and discipline. 
The admonition, in view, includes words. It's how you speak. It's what you instruct them. 
It's the kinds of things that you say. It's preaching to them 
law and gospel. It is highlighting to them the 
word of the living God. You see, there is this positive 
admonition. You cannot successfully claim 
that you are a good father as long as you're not only not provoking 
your children to wrath or discouragement. You need to positively bring 
them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. That takes time, 
it takes effort, it takes energy, it takes a whole lot in terms 
of commitment, not only to God, but to your wife and to your 
children, and you need to step up to the plate. Brethren, we 
need to think through these things with reference to, who am I going 
to marry? You know, young ladies, young men. Think in terms of 
Bible before you get married. You know, ask yourself, as a 
young woman, is this guy I've set my affections on going to 
be able to do Ephesians 6-4? Is this guy that I have a yearning 
to be united to going to be an Ephesians 6-4 man? Same with 
young men. The woman that I'm going to marry, 
is she going to be the kind of woman that can function properly with 
reference to her children? Why don't we ever think through 
these things as young people? I'll tell you why, because we're 
18, 19, 20, and for young men, our testosterone is revved up, 
Young women, we are romantic and we want to get married. I 
get all that, but be principled. Think through it. Don't just 
jump into something and say, man, we're making a mess out 
of things. Think about it on the front end so that the back 
end is good and blessed of God. So you see, it's not only negative, 
do not provoke your children to wrath, but it's positive, 
bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Now, 
fourthly, I want to look at a couple examples and then we'll conclude. 
Positively, Abraham in Genesis chapter 18. I hope and trust 
that you are all familiar with these. We'll just run through 
them quickly. But these are good examples of 
good fathers. Something that, unfortunately, 
is lacking to some degree today. I hope and pray within the context 
of the church we see good examples in terms of fatherhood, but in 
society as a whole, it's not always the case that we see such 
examples. It's good for us to reflect upon 
the written word to see God's men. Notice the example of Abraham 
in Genesis 18, 19. It's on the eve of the destruction 
of Sodom and Gomorrah. Verse 18, since Abraham shall 
surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of 
the earth shall be blessed in him, for I have known him, in 
order that he may command his children and his household after 
him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness 
and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has 
spoken to him. And I think the first thing we 
ought to appreciate with reference to Abraham is his disposition 
toward God in the first place. In other words, men, you're going 
to be best for your children when you fear God. You're going 
to be best for your children when you are walking with God. There's a man by the name of 
Klaus Bockmuehl, and he made this observation. The parents 
who reject the first commandment can expect their children to 
reject the fifth one. The parents who do not submit 
to God should not expect their children to submit to them. Makes 
sense, doesn't it? If you're not fearing God, walking 
before the Lord in obedience, with reverence, with a holy awe, 
then you are not fit to father your children. Now, that's a 
very, very harsh statement, but brethren, if we follow the vibe 
of Scripture, it is valid. Abraham feared God. As a result 
of his fearing God, he would be well-equipped to instruct 
his children, very specifically that they keep the way of Yahweh, 
that they do righteousness and justice. Notice Joshua, Joshua 
chapter 24, a covenant ceremony at Shechem. Joshua 24, covenant 
ceremony at Shechem. This is basically a covenant 
renewal ceremony where the children of Israel swear fidelity to the 
God of Israel, and it's on the heels of this exhortation by 
Joshua. It's a blessed, wonderful exhortation 
on the part of this man. But we all know the text, we 
all know the emphasis, but let's just look at verse 14. Now, therefore, 
fear the Lord. Serve Him in sincerity and in 
truth, and put away the gods which your father served on the 
other side of the river and in Egypt. Serve the Lord, and if 
it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves 
this day whom you will serve. whether the gods which your father 
served that were on the other side of the river or the gods 
of the Amorites in whose land you dwell." Now, realize that 
Joshua imbibes the attitude of Elijah the prophet here. He's 
not actually entertaining the thought or encouraging these 
people to go follow the Canaanite deities. to lay down a challenge. It is similar to 1 Kings 18, 
where the prophet Elijah says, if Baal is God, then serve him. 
If Yahweh is God, then serve him. How long will you limp between 
two options or two opinions? That's the spirit in which we 
ought to interpret this. Joshua's not actually saying, 
you know, there's some options on the other side of the river. 
Why don't you go pursue? No, he's laying down a challenge, 
calling them to an exclusive commitment to Yahweh. Notice, 
in whose land you dwell, but as for me and my house, we will 
serve the Lord. You see, man, that's the way 
we need to operate. As for me and my house, we will 
serve the Lord. Now, when we say that and when 
we state that, that carries a lot of implications. Our service 
to the Lord includes us being men, being husbands, being fathers, 
being workers, being citizens, all of that. It's not we will 
serve the Lord in these particular things. It is a comprehensive, 
universal application of oneself to serve and fear the living 
and true God. Specifically in the context, 
they are to fear Yahweh, they are to serve Yahweh, and they 
are to put away idols. Matthew Henry's comment here 
is just beautiful. He says, Joshua was a ruler, 
a judge in Israel, yet he did not make his necessary application 
to public affairs an excuse for the neglect of family religion. 
You hear this sometimes, especially in our day and age when we've 
got so many things to help us with time. I just don't have 
time to do this with my kids. You don't have to preach an hour-long 
sermon. Just open the Bible and read 
a few verses and pray with your kids. That could take, what, 
five minutes? You don't have five minutes? 
Your car hasn't enabled you to free up five minutes in a day? 
Your phone hasn't enabled you to free up five minutes in a 
day? We're talking about little kids here. They don't need five-point 
sermons. They need five minutes of your 
time. Now, if you can give more, and I think you can, then give 
more. But Joshua was a busy man, wasn't 
he? Have any of you ever been called 
to go in and conquer the land of Canaan? Have any of you ever 
been called to function as a military commander with a whole multitude 
of troops under your command, to marshal them up, to lead them 
into battle, to kill Canaanites, and to dispossess the land of 
its Canaanites? Have you ever been called to 
do that? No. We have so many helps in terms 
of time that for us to neglect religion, family religion, to 
neglect the rearing up of our children with the claim that 
we're too busy for that, that is absolutely unconscionable. Now, I realize there are busy 
seasons in life and there are times when you may only have 
five minutes to give to your children. I am always amazed 
at the hard work that our brothers put in with reference to their 
earthly callings. That is a blessing. That is a 
good thing. And I think that speaks multitudes 
of good things to kids. They ought to see dad work hard. They ought to see dad, you know, 
going out there and doing those sorts of things. But brethren, 
if you can't spare a few minutes in a day to love your children 
and to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord, you 
got to make some changes, you got to cut some things out, maybe 
no more golf games and mulligans and that sort of stuff. So, we've 
got those positive examples, of course we've got the negative 
examples and I think that everybody who's attended the Wednesday 
night studies probably has Eli pop into their heads. Eli chapter 
2 in 1st Samuel. Chapter 2 in 1 Samuel, just get 
a glimpse of Eli's sons before we look at Eli's negligence. I mean, these two guys were certainly 
not the best and the brightest in Israel. They were certainly 
not those men of integrity and godliness and loyalty that they 
ought to have been. In the first place, Eli's sons 
stole sacrifices brought to the temple. Chapter 2, verses 13 
to 17. Now, there were allotments for 
the priest in terms of what they could eat with reference to sacrifice. These guys would throw in a three-tined 
fork and pull out meat and just mow it down. They weren't supposed 
to do this. They were stealing sacrificial 
meat ultimately from God at the expense of the worshiper. As 
well, they lay with women, according to chapter 2, verse 22. Not their 
wives in a lawful, conjugal sort of way, but most likely temple 
prostitutes. Now Eli was very old, and he 
heard everything his sons did to all Israel, and how they lay 
with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle 
of meeting." You see, these men were terrible. Now, these were 
symptoms, these were the manifestations of, these were the evidences 
of the fact that they did not know Yahweh. Notice in chapter 
2, verse 12, here is the origin or the fountain or the very hub 
of their problem. Verse 12, now the sons of Eli 
were corrupt. They did not know Yahweh. You 
see, it's in that context we ought to understand the promise 
of the new covenant in Jeremiah 31. You see, Jeremiah describes 
the old covenant where within Israel you had those who knew 
Yahweh and those who did not know Yahweh. With reference to 
the new covenant, all will know Yahweh. It means by way of grace, 
salvation through faith. Eli's sons were covenant members 
in Israel. They were priests within the 
covenant community of Israel. They were lawfully authorized 
to all the privileges and all the benefits associated with 
membership in the covenant people of Israel, but they didn't know 
God. The fundamental distinctive with 
reference to New Covenant religion is that everyone in that covenant, 
the New Covenant, will know the Lord. That means that within 
the New Covenant community, it's not a mixed bag. It's not the 
case that there are actually New Covenant members that are 
unsaved. No, everybody in the New Covenant 
knows the Lord. They've been forgiven of their 
sins. The law of the Lord has been internalized within their 
hearts. They've received the Holy Spirit of God. Those are 
the promises, and we see that contrast here with reference 
to the sons of Eli, covenant members, priests in the tabernacle, 
and men who did not know Yahweh. Now, just to highlight Eli's 
sin, notice in chapter 3 at verse 11, 1 Samuel 3, verse 11, Then Yahweh 
said to Samuel, Behold, I will do something in Israel, at which 
both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. In that day I 
will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning 
his house from beginning to end. For I have told him that I will 
judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because 
his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them. 
You see, there's a passive abdicating man. There is a man who did not 
take seriously the mandate to exercise discipline over his 
sons. Now, I'm not suggesting that 
shortcomings on your part is going to automatically result 
in sons who steal sacrifices and sons who lay with tabernacle 
prostitutes. I'm not making that connection. 
But brethren, it certainly opens the door to such things. We don't 
want to push them in the direction of wickedness and evil because 
we don't have the guts, the strength, or the commitment to exercise 
the kind of discipline that under God will be used for their well-being. The other negative example, I 
already mentioned it in Proverbs 13, 24, he who spares his rod 
hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines 
him promptly. He who loves his son disciplines 
him promptly. That is absolutely crucial for 
us to get our minds wrapped around. Well, in conclusion, with reference 
to the children, I think the Bible envisions, or envisages, 
I think might be the more appropriate term, that you have natural affection 
for your parents. And, well, you should. You should 
love your parents. You should esteem your parents. 
You should honor your parents. You should obey your parents. 
You say, well, my parents aren't perfect. Nevertheless, do those 
things. You ever consider Jesus, that 
time when he's with his, you know, he has strayed from Joseph 
and Mary and he's at the temple and he's, you know, theologizing 
with the doctors of the law there, and when they come to get him, 
it says that he continued in subjection to them. There's a 
perfect example of somebody perfect submitting himself to imperfect 
people. So don't say, my dad and mom, 
they're just not perfect, so I don't need to do this. Yes, 
you do. Yes, you do. Secondly, you ought to remember, 
be reminded of, be encouraged about the importance of salvation. If that law does anything, it 
should show you your waywardness. If that law does anything, yes, 
it should define your duty, your responsibility, the path you 
ought to pursue, but you'll always come up short. You'll always 
come up short. And so that law should drive 
you to the Lord Jesus Christ as well when you, by God's grace, 
close with Christ through faith the necessity of obedience to 
the law of God. I know, kids, it may be strange 
to understand or hear, but there's a lot of people outside the church 
and people within the professing church that suggest that we have 
no need for God's law. That's absolutely incorrect. 
Jesus said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments. The 
Bible tells us the commandments of God are not burdensome. The 
psalmist typifies for us a godly man in Psalm 119. He loves the 
law of God. It's his meditation day and night. 
And then as well, oftentimes I think with young people, with 
children, they ask good questions. How do I know if I'm saved? The 
primary place that will be evident is in the home. I mean, certainly 
on the playground if you're an idiot or mean to, sorry about 
that, if you're mean to other kids and you steal their toys 
and you do that, that's not a good sign. But remember in Malachi's 
prophecy in chapter 4, fulfilled in Luke chapter 1, What is John 
the Baptist's role? It is to turn the hearts of the 
fathers to the sons and the hearts of the sons to the fathers. The 
primary orbit in which a child's profession of faith can be measured 
is in the home. I think that bears emphasis in 
our lives. I mean, in the first place, brethren, 
I can ask questions of your little one, I can pray for your little 
one, but who knows your little one better than you? You're the 
one that ought to be able to evaluate their profession of 
faith, because that is the primary sphere by which we will know 
and see if indeed God has moved their hearts. John Gill says, 
and the heart of the children to their fathers, or with their 
fathers, that is, both fathers and children. The meaning is 
that John the Baptist should be an instrument of converting 
many of the Jews, both fathers and children, and bringing them 
to the knowledge and faith of the true Messiah. And then finally, 
with reference to the fathers, just a few encouragements. In 
the first place, the importance of your presence with your children. I said this to the ladies on 
Mother's Day. You know, we all talk about quality time. Quality time is good, but quantity 
time is good too. I mean, if you're painting the 
fence, have your kid with you. The world might say, that's not 
quality time, you're not feeding them or putting ice cream down 
their throats and letting them throw balls. That's what they 
need, quantity time, presence. Not presence here with a gift 
wrapped in bow, but presence, you being with your children. As well, you need to provide 
temporally for your children. Proverbs 13, 22, 27, 23 to 27, 
the New Testament passage, 1 Timothy 5, 8. If a man does not provide 
for his own, guess what? He's worse than an unbeliever. 
You need to provide temporally for your children. That doesn't 
mean they need the most expensive shoes, but they do need shoes. It doesn't mean they need the 
most expensive food, but they are addicted to eating, so you 
need to feed them. I would include, with reference 
to temporal provision, protection. As fathers, we are to protect 
our children. We're to protect our sons and 
daughters. We're to seek, by God's grace, to make sure no 
harm befalls them. That doesn't mean we follow them 
in the bushes and watch every move they make, and we're there. 
No, but we ought to be a protective lot, with reference to our children. 
As well, the importance of spiritual provision for your children. 
Spiritual provision for your children. We would all agree 
with 1 Timothy 5.8, a man does not provide for his own, he's 
worse than an unbeliever. But brethren, how many of us 
are as committed to providing spiritually? giving them those 
things that are bringing them up in the training and admonition 
of the Lord. Proverbs 13, 22 says, a good man leaves an inheritance 
to his children's children. Now, if you're like me, you might 
struggle with that passage and say, wow, that's a big calling. 
Better start saving my dough. There is a spiritual application 
or a spiritual reference to this as well. Here are bridges. And 
if there is no earthly substance to leave, it might just be the 
case, children and children's children, you're not going to 
get dough. If there is no earthly substance to leave, yet a church 
in the house, a family altar, the record of holy example and 
instruction, and above all, a store of believing prayer laid up for 
accomplishment, when we shall be silent in the grave, will 
be an inheritance to our children of inestimable value. You may 
not be able to leave them your piles of money, but you ought 
to be able to leave them the knowledge that you love them, 
that you cared for them, and that you preached Christ to them. That's what's important, brethren. 
That's what most matters. And then the final place, prayer 
and preaching. Again, I don't think you should 
erect a pulpit in your living room and say, okay, children, 
I've got three points this morning and I've got four lines of application, 
so we're going to be here for a while. Tell your friends you're 
not going to come out tonight. No, that's not it. Make sure 
you bring them to church. You say, well, they don't understand 
everything. Hopefully they'll understand something. They're 
brought up in it, and they're exposed to the terminology, and 
they're exposed to the concept, and they're exposed to the reality 
that, you know what, you just have to sit still for an hour. 
I mean, that just is so counter-cultural to that. You make your kids sit 
still in church? Yeah. Sue us. What have people been doing throughout 
the history of the world? What happened in Nehemiah's day 
when all the assembly was gathered with their little ones? A pulpit is erected and the Levites 
bring it. They're there for hours. Oh, 
that's child abuse. You've got to provide a playground 
for them. No, we've got to tell them there 
are seasons, there are instances, and there are times in life when 
you just need to sit still and be quiet. If that shocks your 
delicate sensitivities, then brethren, take it to the scriptures. The reading of the law was to 
be done, not only to the adults in Israel, but with their children. You see, this is absolutely crucial. Bring your child to church. Put 
them under the preaching of the gospel. Trust the power of the 
Holy Spirit to work through the preaching of the word, to bring 
them under conviction and bring them to the Savior. At home, 
teach them the truth. At home practice. Okay, you're 
gonna have to sit for an hour on Sunday. You're gonna sit for 
10 minutes tonight. We're gonna stretch it to 15 
minutes tomorrow. There are ways that you can do these sorts of 
things without engaging in the sorts of things that people think 
are absolutely outlandish. Introduce them to this. Teach 
them this. Give it to them incrementally. 
Teach them language in the scripture when they're really little. Teach 
them. Listen for the word God. Listen for the word Jesus. Listen 
for the word gospel. Jot down on your little notepad 
how many times... There's ways to engage. Brethren, if you're creative, 
if you're desirous to accomplish this, it really isn't rocket 
science. It takes effort, it takes energy, 
it takes commitment, and above all, it takes prayer. and preaching. And I don't mean just the corporate 
preaching, but your preaching, your teaching, your, you know, 
when you rise up, when you walk by the way, and when you lie 
down, sort of instruction to your children. So fathers, be 
encouraged. You have a great responsibility. 
You serve a great God, and he gives great grace. And there 
is no greater privilege and no greater joy. I think most of 
us as fathers, and I hope all of us as, you know, most of us 
as mothers would say, you know, the best thing I ever got to 
do was raise children. That was the best thing I ever 
got to do, was to rear children. Yeah, it was great to serve in 
this capacity, it was great to do this particular thing, but 
when all is said and done, I'm most happiest when I'm surrounded 
by those olive plants. I am most happy when I am with 
those people that who, by the grace of God, I've had influence 
over for this amount of time. There is no greater joy, no greater 
blessing, no greater delight than to bring up children in 
the training and admonition of the Lord. Well, let us pray. 
Father, we thank you for your word and we thank you for this 
prohibition to not provoke our children to wrath or discouragement, 
as well for this positive statement to bring them up in the training 
and admonition of the Lord. Pray for all of us as fathers, 
as mothers, that you would grant us grace and commitment to the 
scriptures and help us, God, to see the great delight and 
the great joy and the great privilege it is to rear children unto God. Give us grace in this, give us 
commitment and help and strength, and give us the Holy Spirit in 
a powerful measure so that we may do this for your glory and 
for their well-being. And do smile upon the little 
ones in this congregation. Bless them, God. Cause that law 
to stir up their consciences and to stir up their hearts and 
to show them their need for the Savior. And may they come to 
the Savior by your grace, believing on Him and knowing the joy of 
everlasting life. But with us now we pray through 
Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.