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Please turn in your Bibles to 
Colossians chapter three as we work our way through Paul's letter 
to the Colossian Christians, looking specifically at the household 
code or those relationships where the new man must indeed live 
like the Lord Jesus Christ. We remember in chapter three, 
verses 18 to chapter four, verse one, we see the new man's relationship 
to others, specifically in three pairs, wives toward their husbands, 
Husbands toward their wives, children to parents, parents 
to children, and then servants to masters. And we take up this 
morning the Christian father, very specifically in verse 21. 
But I'll pick up reading in verse 18. Wives, submit to your own 
husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives 
and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in 
all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, 
do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 
Bondservants obey in all things your masters according to the 
flesh, not with eye service as men pleasers, but in sincerity 
of heart, fearing God. And whatever you do, do it heartily 
as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you 
will receive the reward of the inheritance for you serve the 
Lord Christ. But he who does wrong will be 
repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, 
give your bond servants what is just and fair, knowing that 
you also have a master in heaven. Amen. Well, let us pray. Father, 
we thank you for the Holy Scriptures, and as we come to consider them 
now, we pray that your spirit would be at work in our hearts. 
that he would guide us and lead us into all truth and that we 
would take these things to heart, that we would pray them in, that 
we would consider our own station before you, that we would examine 
ourselves and that we would again rejoice because of the finished 
work of our Lord Jesus. We know no man here will ever 
enter into heaven because he's performed well as a father. We 
will only enter in by grace alone through faith alone in Jesus 
Christ alone. And God, we rejoice in that. 
We pray that you would forgive us now for all of our sins and 
anything that would hinder us from receiving your truth and 
applying it in our lives. We pray God most high that you 
would just deal with us with grace and with kindness as you 
have shown yourself so faithful in the past. We pray for that 
even now. And we ask through Jesus Christ 
our Lord. Amen. Well, we remember that 
the whole section begins with the Christian being exhorted 
to keep his mind on Christ. Chapter three, verses one to 
four. He then tells us we are to put 
off certain sins or vices. We are to put on certain virtues 
and all of this, not in order to be saved, but because God 
in his grace has saved us. We cannot mistake that in this 
particular section, we notice in verse nine, he says, Do not 
lie to one another since you have put off the old man with 
his deeds and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge 
according to the image of him who created him. God in His sovereignty, 
God in His grace, God in His power has put to death our old 
man and He has made us alive together with Christ Jesus. And He has given us every spiritual 
blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. And as new men, we 
must function the way God has called us to. We must put off. We must put on. And in the section 
we are considering now, we must be subject to one another and 
live in a manner that is consistent consistent with God's design 
for his creation, and as we consider the Christian father this morning, 
we're going to take up three thoughts or three observations. 
First of all, the party addressed. I know it's obvious, but sometimes 
we need help understanding the implications of the obvious. Secondly, we'll notice the prohibition, 
and here that's all we have in Colossians is a prohibition or 
a negative statement. We're told what not to do. Do 
not provoke your Children lest they become discouraged. But 
thirdly, we'll take up a positive exhortation when we look at the 
parallel passage in Ephesians He tells us to bring them up 
in the training and admonition of the Lord. So, it is good for 
us to balance out this negative with the positive, to investigate 
what Ephesians says also, so that we can have a fuller understanding 
of our responsibility as fathers. Well, first of all, that is the 
party addressed, the father. This is so because they are the 
heads of the household. We see that not only in the Bible, 
but it was true in the Roman Empire as well. This does not 
mean that wives and mothers have no authority in the home. It 
does not mean that they can turn off now and fall asleep or think 
about other things because this only applies to their husband. 
No, it is primarily responsibility of the father. to provide this 
government in his home to make sure that these things are being 
carried out. Now the wife, the mother of the 
children, is the co-region. She is right there alongside 
with him in acting and carrying out these particulars. But by 
looking at this, fathers, we see that Paul wants men not to 
be lazy, not to be passive, not to be distant spectators with 
reference to the government of their home. Fathers have a responsibility. In some respects, we live in 
a fatherless age. If you were to, I think, in about 
a hundred years from now, if you look back on Generation X, 
as they call it, or the baby boomers, the Generation X followed 
the baby boomer generation, we have seen a lot in terms of lacking 
with reference to fatherhood. So, a lot of homes where fathers 
are inactive, where they are passive, where they are lazy, 
where they are not carrying out their responsibilities in terms 
of the government of their home. And far from being passive and 
lazily in the home, fathers are directly charged with active 
involvement in their children's lives. You don't just delegate 
this to your wife and say, well, I'll see the kid at 18 when he 
needs, you know, money for college. Call me up at that particular 
point. No, a father must be actively involved from cradle to grave 
in the lives of his children. Not as much once they leave the 
home to be sure. Children, you should really achieve 
that goal to leave the home and start your own homes. and to 
initiate your own family, so that you're not forty, sitting 
on the couch, living at home, you know, bumming off your parents 
all the time. You ought to really want to desire 
to get out and initiate families. But fathers are to take an active 
role in the development of their children. This is very important 
as a new man in Christ Jesus. Remember, as a new man in Christ 
Jesus, it's not just your orientation to pray and preach and speak 
of the things of God. Your orientation is to love your 
wife as Jesus Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 
Your orientation as a father is to not provoke your children 
lest they become discouraged, but rather to bring them up in 
the training and admonition of the Lord. When Grace has affected 
a man's heart, it affects every area of his life. He wants to 
be involved. He wants to do what he's able 
to. He wants to provide that guidance to his children that 
God has commanded him to do. Now, as we consider the party 
address, I just want to suggest a few biblical examples, both 
positive and negative, for your consideration. If not now, maybe 
later. You can look these things up 
later. Genesis 18 and verse 19, we read about Abraham. We read 
about that man, Abraham, and it's very instructive as to what 
God says concerning him with reference to his role as a father. Genesis 18 at verse 16. Then the men rose from there 
and looked towards Sodom and Abraham went with them to send 
them on the way. And the Lord said, Shall I hide 
from Abraham what I am doing since Abraham shall surely become 
a great and mighty nation and all the nations of the earth 
shall be blessed in him. For, I have known him in order 
that he may command his children and his household after him, 
that they keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and 
justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken 
to him." Abraham took these things seriously. And very specifically 
in the context, we see that his allegiance is first and foremost 
to the Lord God. Last week, I quoted from Klaus 
Bachmuel. He said the parents who reject 
the first commandment can expect their children to reject the 
fifth one. The parents who do not submit 
to God should not expect their children to submit to them. He 
commanded his children and servants or would do so to keep the way 
of Jehovah and to do righteousness and justice. He doesn't just 
say, Sarah, I want to educate the kids. I want you to bring 
them up in the training in the admonition of the Lord. No, Abraham 
took an active role in this. The same thing is true of Joshua, 
Joshua, 24 passage that is very familiar, a passage that we probably 
all have heard of or know, or it's on our front door or we've 
sloganized that we put it as a bumper sticker, but do we really 
feel the import of what Joshua is saying. Joshua twenty four 
fifteen. This is his parting charge to 
the people of Israel. Joshua twenty four beginning 
in verse verse fourteen. Now, therefore, fear the Lord, 
serve him in sincerity and in truth and put away the gods which 
your father served on the other side of the river in Egypt. Serve 
the Lord. And if it seems evil to you to 
serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, 
whether the gods which your father served that were on the other 
side of the river or the gods of the Amorites in whose land 
you dwell. But as for me and my house, we 
will serve the Lord. So I'm going to let some Buddhist, 
you know, or some child say, well, I want to be a Buddhist 
now, dad. I want to worship the gods of the Amorites, dad. I 
really want to follow Muhammad in the system called Islam, Dad. 
I want to express my independence, Dad. I want to be a Shintoist. 
I want to be a Hindu. I want to worship Baal or the 
Asherah. Joshua says, under God, ask for me in my house, we will 
serve Jehovah. Now remember, Joshua was a busy 
man. I love this. Sometimes we as 
fathers say, I'm so busy, I don't have time to rear my children. What was Joshua 1 to 23 about? It was about General Joshua leading 
the armies of Israel into the land of Canaan to conquer it, 
to dispossess the land of the heathen. He was a busy man. He had a lot of people dependent 
upon him for instruction. A lot of people would die if 
General Joshua wasn't serving effectively. Matthew Henry said 
Joshua was a ruler, a judge in Israel, yet he did not make his 
necessary application to public affairs an excuse for the neglect 
of family religion. Sometimes it's just an excuse 
to say I'm so busy. Sometimes it's just a mask upon 
laziness and indifference. And I dare say, brethren, it's 
a lot better under God to confess laziness and indifference than 
try to show how busy you are and you can't fulfill the duties 
given to you as a father. To embrace reality, let's understand 
what God calls us to. So those are a couple of positives. 
The negative is in First Samuel, chapter two. There's other negatives 
that we could look at, but something interesting in First Samuel, 
chapter two. The priest called Eli, whom Samuel 
went to live with as a young boy. Well, Eli had two sons who 
served as priests. These were bad cats, bad characters. They were not good godly men. 
In fact, they stole sacrifices. Well, we thought that's the depths 
of depravity right there is when you are stealing a sacrifice. We'll see that when we get to 
the book of Malachi. Malachi chapter one, God indicts 
the nation. He says, you bring the sick, 
you bring the lame, you bring the worst of your flock. And 
then later on in Malachi chapter one, he says, and you steal a 
sacrifice to bring it to the temple. That's a warped sinner. That's us. Sacrifice means it 
should hurt us. Stealing from somebody else and 
bringing that animal, calling it our own and saying it's a 
sacrifice, just sort of undercuts the whole process. These men 
operated as priests of God, and when worshippers would come with 
their meat, these guys would take that meat and eat it for 
themselves. These men would also lie with 
temple prostitutes. They were bad guys. Notice in 
1st Samuel 2 12. Now the sons of Eli were corrupt. They did not know the Lord. It's 
a theological. That's the theological foundation 
upon which they're stealing sacrifices and they're lying with women. 
Follow. Because they did not know the Lord, they functioned 
wickedly. They were ungodly men, ungodly men do ungodly things. 
What we think about God affects how we live. Theology always 
goes first and then comes the practice. But then God says that 
he's going to judge Eli and he tells Samuel this. And I want 
you to notice here in First Samuel chapter three at verse eleven. First, Samuel three eleven, and 
the Lord said to Samuel, behold, I will do something in Israel 
at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle in that 
day. I will perform against Eli all 
that I have spoken concerning his house from beginning to end. 
For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the 
iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile. 
Notice, and he did not restrain them. What's the implication? that even though your little 
child is not born again, even though your little child perhaps 
is not regenerate, even though your little child perhaps does 
not know the Lord, you can and must restrain them. John Piper 
has a very good study right now on this whole issue. It's on 
his blog, and I encourage you to look at that. He talks about 
why do we force unconverted children, not force like we put their arms 
behind their backs, but we force them to obey the law. If they're 
unconverted, they have no heart to obey. Why do we do that? It's 
a very good study in that particular some good observations that he 
makes. But notice here, they didn't 
know the Lord. So is Eli to conclude as a hyper-Calvinist? Well, they don't know the Lord, 
so I'm not going to be involved in their lives. I'm just going 
to be passive. I'm going to be lazy. I'm going to be indifferent. 
Whatever it is they do. No. God says I'm bringing the 
heat upon him because he did not restrain them. Implication, 
fathers, is that you must restrain your children. You must hedge 
them in. You must set up parameters. You 
must watch over them prayerfully and lovingly and graciously and 
yet firmly. If you get wind that your child 
is in the in the temple, stealing sacrifices or lying with women, 
you grab him by the scruff of the neck and you pull him into 
the house and you have dealings with him. You restrain him. It's a negative example. And 
then, of course, the negligent father of Proverbs thirteen twenty 
four. He who spares his rod hates his 
son, but he loves him, disciplines him promptly. A couple of positive 
and negative examples. Let's look at the prohibition 
that we find in Colossians chapter three. First of all, the sin 
and its result. Fathers do not provoke your children 
unless they become discouraged. The word provoke means to excite. 
Not in a good way. It can in other contexts, but 
here the implication is not a good way. It means to excite. It means 
to provoke. It means to irritate. Very often 
it means to provoke, to anger, to wrath, and to sin and evil. The prohibition here is very 
clear. In your children's lives, be a blessing and not a curse. 
Be of benefit and help to them. Don't make it harder on them. 
In fact, one commentator says that the parallel passage of 
the text that is most relevant to Paul's mind here is Deuteronomy 
2120. You say, well, how that possibly 
be because the same words used, or at least the Greek translation 
of the Old Testament translates the word the same way. Douglas 
Moose says the text most relevant to Colossians 321, however, and 
one that Paul may well have had in mind is Deuteronomy 2120, 
where parents are charged with bringing a disobedient son before 
the elders and proclaiming this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. Same Greek word that we find 
here. Do not provoke. He will not obey 
us. He is a profligate and a drunkard. 
So, Moo comments, Paul, in effect, is exhorting fathers to raise 
their children in such a way that they do their utmost to 
avoid provoking this kind of rebellious attitude in them. You've got to understand that 
your child comes out of the womb. He is conceived in iniquity, 
not the conjugal act, but as soon as your child becomes a 
person, an identity, he is a sinner. And when we have a direct contact 
with them and over them, we can help them to sin, to build it 
up even more firmly, to get it more entrenched and more rooted 
in their hearts. Or we under God can be a blessed 
means to help them drive it out, to restrain them, to care for 
them, to not provoke them. And then he speaks of this this 
result, the discouragement. Do not provoke your children 
less. They become discouraged. What's he mean by that? Well, 
some of us who didn't have the best fathers know precisely what 
he means by this. Some of us who aren't the best 
fathers know precisely what he means by this. The discouragement 
in view means to be without courage or spirit, to lose heart, to 
become spirit less. The father, I believe, should 
aim to break the sinful bed of his child, but he shouldn't break 
the child. We don't want to reduce them 
to crying, cowering, shivering, huddled masses. God is at war with sin, not nature. We need to be the same. We need 
to be at war with the sin, not the nature, not the childishness 
of them. Not that they're little, not 
that they're not mature. We want to drive out the wickedness, 
but leave the child intact. The discouragement promotes anger 
in the child. It excites their bad passions. It is an evil influence on the 
child rather than a good one. Now, again, this does not excuse 
the sinful nature of a child. We can't look at a child and 
say every problem and every bad thing he has is because his dad 
is a dummy. We can't do that. We're all individuals. 
We all stand before the Lord God most high. But sometimes 
foolish dads help their children to be a whole lot worse. They 
help them to be a whole lot worse. That's what Paul says. Don't 
provoke them. Well, how do we provoke them? 
I think there's several ways that we do provoke them. One 
is unrighteous anger. Now, it's not going to be the 
case that your child will never see you angry. Show me that house. But it shouldn't be unrighteous, 
ungodly, venting and yelling and screaming. And I'm going 
to let you have it. The Bible authorizes reproof 
and rod as the means to instruct and discipline. But the rod is 
not given as an instrument of tyranny. It's not given as an 
instrument of punishment. It's not given as an instrument 
of torture. Unrighteous anger certainly provokes 
our children. Unbiblical discipline of already 
alluded to that the Bible authorizes reproof and rod. You know what 
it not only says that it's wrong to severely implemented, but 
it says it's wrong to neglect the implementing of it as well. 
He who stares his rod does what he hates his son. So it's wrong to beat a child 
into a punishment or torture or all that sort of thing. But 
it's wrong to advocate in this area as well. I love what he 
said, the paternal reign, the fatherly reign is not to be one 
of terror and stern authority. You raise your hand to comb your 
hair and your kids like this, you got problems, man. You go 
to caress your child and he's wincing. You might have a problem. The paternal reign is not to 
be one of terror and scorn authority, but of love. The rod may be employed, 
but in reason and moderation and never for momentary impulse 
and anger. You give the child an instruction. 
He doesn't do it. You count to twenty five. You 
get the twenty four and three quarters and then you slip out. 
Then you run after him and you hit him. That's not biblical 
discipline. It isn't. He says children are not to be 
moved to wrath by harsh and unreasonable treatment or by undue partiality 
and favoritism promotes wrath as well. Undue partiality and 
favoritism. Bridges says in his commentary 
on the Proverbs, the rod without affection is revolting tyranny. It's a beautiful statement. The 
rod without affection is revolting tyranny. But this same bridges 
cautions us on the neglect of the rod. He says Satan begins 
with the infant in arms. I know this sounds hardcore. 
We don't think this way when you read the Bible. This is the 
way the biblical authors speak. It was David under the inspiration 
of the Holy Spirit who said the wicked are estranged from the 
womb. They go astray, speaking lies as soon as they are born. 
That wasn't bridges in the 18th century. That was David in the 
end of the inspiration of the spirit. So Bridges says Satan 
begins with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first 
stir of the day of corruption. Do we begin as early? Again, 
he's not advocating giving the rod and hurting and beating up 
a child. He's talking about loving biblical 
discipline. Do we begin as early? He says 
every vice commences in the nursery. This is so contrary to what we 
hear today. That's why I'm smiling. You wretched man, you guys are 
monsters. No, the Bible really does say. The great secret is to establish 
authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before 
the naughty oak is beyond our power. Bend that tender twig 
before that naughty oak is beyond your power. It's easier to deal 
with the serpent when it's an egg. than when he's nine feet 
tall and he wants to bite you or wrap himself around you and 
squeeze you to death. It's easier to step on an egg, 
isn't it? So unrighteous anger, unbiblical 
discipline. These are the ways we could have 
a seminar. Come and learn how you can provoke 
your children. I'll teach you. Unbiblical or 
unrighteous anger, unbiblical discipline, unbiblical demands. Unbiblical demands. We really 
want to teach our children God's law. But we also want to really 
remember who they are as sinners. We mentioned this a bit last 
week. We often address our children. We say, how in the world could 
you ever do this? Talking to one of the brothers afterward. 
You know, your little five-year-old does something, or your ten-year-old, 
and you just flip out and you say, how in the world could you 
have ever done that? If your little five-year-old, 
ten-year-old was thinking theologically, he or she might answer, well, 
I was born an Adam, and as a result, I have died. I am a sinner by 
nature. I have a depraved nature. I am 
unable to please God in the flesh. I am unable to please God with 
my mind. I am far from Him. I am estranged from Him. OK, 
yeah, gotcha. That about sums up the biblical 
doctrine of total depravity. We probably spank them for getting 
lippy like that. Unbiblical demands, ungodly inconsistency, 
and I stand up here as a father trying to communicate to you 
things that I know you can look at me and say, man, that guy's 
got his issues. It's tough. Something I've observed as a 
Christian, it was said to me by someone about the Reformed 
Baptist movement. When the modern Reformed Baptist 
movement started off, the first little while, from what I understand, 
I wasn't there at the time, but they preached a lot on the doctrines 
of grace. Calvinism, Calvinism, sovereignty, predestination. 
And then it sort of ushered into this time of family piety, where 
everything was family piety, family piety, family piety. I've 
observed a bit of this in the evangelical world as well, and 
it's very much in place right now for guys to preach and yell 
at men and tell them how bad they are. That's not what I want 
to do. I know it's hard. Of all my jobs, 
of all the hats that I wear, fatherhood is the most difficult. And I want you to remember that 
it's not the unpardonable sin. Some of these guys can make it 
sound like if you don't this the way they say to man, you 
are just messed up. You know what? You're messed 
up in everything. That's just one more. First, John one nine applies 
to our sins as fathers as well. I'm not advocating go out and 
be a bad father, but I am telling you, when you are found out, 
the answer is always the cross. If we confess our sins, he is 
faithful and just to forgive us our sins. And something else, 
children image God in a way that adults don't. Children are a 
lot more forgiving. How many times have I had to 
ask my children for forgiveness and they forgive me. How many 
times have you had to ask your children for forgiveness and 
they forgive you? There's natural affection. There's 
love. There's a willingness. There's 
a desire to do so. So I believe to provoke your 
children under wrath and under discouragement is bad. It's wicked. 
It's sinful. It's not the unpardonable sin. 
We get these sort of ideas that this one thing, if this one thing 
were changed, everything would be great. No, we got to change 
a lot of things. I would suggest my one thing 
is first and foremost, how we think about God and his gospel 
and then everything else hopefully will fall into place. Ungodly 
motives. You need to be like this person. 
You need to be like that person. You need to be like Jesus. It's 
going to look different in this child than it is in this child. 
Jesus is our standard. Ungodly imbalance. What do I 
mean by that? All law, no gospel. Oh yeah, 
you need to be the opposite of an Eli and you need to restrain, 
but you need to point to Christ. You need to bring that law, but 
you need to bring that gospel. You need to point them to the 
Redeemer that can save them by grace, through faith in himself. So that's a bit of the prohibition. Let's look thirdly and finally 
at the positive exhortation in Ephesians six and verse four, 
Ephesians six and verse four familiar passage. You fathers 
do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up. in the training and admonition 
of the Lord to nourish them, to provide for with tender care, 
to cultivate, to educate, to train, to discipline and love. 
That's the that's the the range of this language of bring them 
up. Doesn't just mean make sure they 
eat, though that is implied, and we'll see that in just a 
moment when we close. Doesn't mean just that they have 
shoes, though that is implied to bring them up. to help them 
to be everything they're supposed to be. You to be a means in their 
lives to help shape them to what God has created them to be. And then he specifies the manner 
and he speaks of act and word in the training. The word is 
paid up. It means to educate, to trade, 
to discipline. It means to be hands on with 
them. means to act in their lives, 
means to example truth to them, means to be involved with them, 
but not just in the treaty, but the admonition. This is new. This is word. This is reproof. You got to talk to them. You 
have to actually open that mouth. And not in the context of rooting 
for your favorite hockey team, but talking to your son or your 
daughter. Communication. This is nothing 
new in redemptive history. You shall teach them diligently 
to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your 
house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you 
rise up. Deuteronomy six. Describe us both act and word. Does Paul's description here, 
does it find some taproot in our home? Does it connect with 
us on some level? We may not be an Abraham and 
we may not be General Joshua. We may not be John G. Payton's 
father, but by the grace of God, we are seeking to act and to 
speak to our children in such a way as to carry out his word 
in our lives. And then notice the orientation. 
Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. It is to be distinctly Christian. It is to be distinctly biblical. 
Again, this does not depend on whether your child is converted 
or not. You as a new man in Jesus Christ, 
your orientation is always Christ word. Everything you do, whether 
you eat or whether you drink or whatever it is you do to the 
rearing of your children under God, you do it for his glory. You do it as a Christian. You 
do it as one who has been saved by grace through faith in the 
Lord Jesus Christ. If you do it for any other motives, 
you are wrong. Sometimes we say, oh, we got 
a lot of our children, so they'll be happy and well-adjusted. No, 
you do that because God will be glorified. He'll take care 
of the happy and well-adjustedness. Matthew 633 is a pervasive principle 
that we need to adopt in every area. We need to seek first the 
kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then all other things will 
be added unto us. We need to put God first. over our children. We need to put God first over 
our wives. We need to put God first over 
our husbands. Why? Because when we do that, 
they'll benefit. They will profit. Well, I want 
to end now. With five P's, I want to make 
this really simple as a father to fathers, I thought a five 
piece, not I thought, you know, I've got this great guru mind, 
but just taking some observations from the scriptures, five P's, 
I think, can help us to take some of what Paul has said and 
put it into practice. And the first P is presence. 
And by presence, I don't mean you give your kids a lot of stuff. 
It's a different present. Talking about presents, you need 
to be in your child's life. That's foundational. You've got 
to be there. Now, I'm not saying you should 
quit your job and be a stay at home dad. In fact, I would highly 
suggest you don't do that. Buster said I need to be with 
the kids, honey. I quit my job to go lay on the 
couch and, you know, watch Oprah while your kids are running around 
in dirty diapers. I'm present. That's not what I'm saying. Don't do that. Please don't do 
that. Under God, don't do that. There's a move to do that today. 
It's weird. You need to be in the kids lives. Now, as young men especially, 
we have to work more. That's the way life is. I don't 
know if you've all figured that out, but it's pretty evident. 
As a young man, you have to work more overtime. You've got to 
work harder. Because hopefully the idea is that when you're 
older, you've saved some money, you've learned to work smarter, 
so you don't have to work as much overtime, and you've ascended 
the levels in your corporate setting, and you're now the boss, 
or whatever. As young men, you are going to 
have to work hard. You're going to have to work 
long. I am not advocating being Nancy boys who never take overtime 
so that they can go home and watch Oprah and let their kids 
run around with dirty diapers. That's not what I'm advocating. 
But there is a problem with this idea. I'm only with that child 
10 minutes a week, but it's quantity time, or quality time. They need 
quantity, too. Not just quality, but quantity. Shouldn't be your kid. Oh, yeah, 
that's what you look like. Presence, you must be present 
in order to fulfill your responsibility as a Christian father. The second 
key is provision. You do have to feed them. You 
have to put shoes on their feet. You've got to make sure they're 
warm in the winter time. What does Paul say in first Timothy 
five verse eight? If a man does not provide for 
his own, he's worse than an unbeliever. You have denied the faith when 
your child is hungry or when your child is naked or when your 
child is in in bad state of repair. These are your principles rather. First, Timothy five, eight. You 
might also look at Proverbs, chapter 20, 13, 22, Proverbs, 
27, 23 to 27. And one of those proverbs says 
that a godly man needs an inheritance for his children's children. 
Now, in today's economic climate, that's becoming increasingly 
more difficult. But you better be able to leave 
a spiritual inheritance. You better erect a spiritual 
heritage. You better make Christianity 
and good doctrine and Bible a very preeminent place in your child's 
lives. And then they hopefully will 
pass that inheritance on to their children. Bridges on Proverbs 
1322, which fathers, if you want a good parenting manual, Bridges 
commentary on the book of Proverbs. It's in the Geneva series in 
the banner of truth. Trust it is excellent. Just look 
at all the passages that deal with being a father and read 
Bridges. His comments are good. They're 
saying they're excellent and they really get to the point 
of the matter on Proverbs 1322. He says, if there is no earthly 
substance to leave, Yet, a church in the house, a family altar, 
the record of holy example and instruction, and above all, a 
store of believing prayer laid up for accomplishment. When we 
shall be silent in the grave will be an inheritance to our 
children of inestimable value, inestimable value provision. The third is protection. It warmed my heart this morning. 
to see in the Sunday school class the threat of a spider. One of 
the girls actually was holding the spider up like that, but 
she was an older girl. And then I was in the bathroom and a young 
fellow dutifully came in with that spider to dispose of it 
into the trash can. He manned up. Maybe he didn't look at it like 
that. I said, oh, you're getting rid of that spider, are you? 
Yes. You got a lesson to teach a lot of men out there today. 
They need the man up and protect. Last week, I said to the children, 
if your father or your mother want to molest or abuse you, 
you disobey them. It is increasingly more the case 
that one of the most dangerous places for a child is in their 
homes. Let it not be named among you, 
brethren. Protect those children. Let them see righteous anger 
when it comes to protecting them. Let them see something of Jesus 
Christ in you, turning over the money changers tables and driving 
out the beast when there is a threat to the integrity of your home. 
Protect those children. Fourth, prayer. Being a godly 
father requires prayer. I don't know how any of us can 
function in the capacity that God has stationed us without 
fervent, earnest, believing prayer. How do we do these spiritual 
things in the flesh? We must pray. I mentioned earlier, 
John G. Payton, because he came up last 
week after the sermon. Listen to John G. Payton, whose 
father exercised a tremendous influence upon his life. Beautiful. If you just want to read the 
first section of his autobiography, he was a missionary to the New 
Hebrides. Again, Banner of Truth publishes that. Just read the 
section on his early life in his home, the way he describes 
his father retiring to what they called the sanctuary after meals, 
where he would go and meet with God. where he would go and pray. 
He said this of his father with reference to prayer, how much 
of my father's prayer at this time impressed me, I can never 
explain, nor could any stranger understand. When on his knees 
and all of us kneeling around him in family worship, he poured 
out his whole soul with tears for the conversion of the heathen 
world to the service of Jesus. And for every personal and domestic 
need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior 
and learn to know and love him as our divine friend. As we rose 
from our knees, I used to look at the light on my father's face 
and wish I were like him in spirit, hoping that in answer to his 
prayers, I might be privileged and prepared to carry the blessed 
gospel to some portion of the heathen world. Little did that 
father know when he was on his face with his children, that 
God would snatch one of them and send them to send into the 
New Hebrides. to preach the glory of Jesus 
Christ. One biographer calls him, I think 
Spurgeon referred to him as the king of the cannibals. See, that's 
what you got at the New Hebrides. You met a bunch of angry cannibals. 
There were times when he was running from the cannibals and 
he said, I looked up as it were and I saw Jesus on His throne 
and I realized that one day these islands would be His. Look what 
he attributes it to. of his father. It's convicting. It's convicting. And the last 
P presence, provision, protection, prayer, preaching. It doesn't 
mean you've got to stand up here. But it means you need to open 
your mouth with your kids. You need to teach them the truth. 
You need to preach to them the truth again, you'd be weird. 
If I came over and you have a pulpit set up in your living room and 
you ascend it and you had a robe on and you said, children, I'm 
going to preach. That'd be awkward, man. A whole lot of awkward. 
Would you like a big bowl of awkward with that? No, please. 
But preach to them, teach them, tell them the good news. You 
are charged with instructing your children. You may not be 
able to teach them calculus. Some of you may. You may not 
be able to teach them everything about social theory, about economics. You may not be able to teach 
them everything about politics. You may not be able to teach 
them everything about English. You may not know what a dangling 
participle is. You may not know what an infinitive 
is. But you better teach them the 
truth as it is in Jesus. Teach them the Bible. Teach them 
the books of the Bible. Teach them the major epochs of 
biblical revelation. Teach them that tonight when 
they come and they sit and they listen to Zechariah, it is of 
deadly importance for them to learn about the prophet Zechariah. Teach them to appreciate God's 
working in history. Teach them the mighty miracles 
of God. Teach them about the exodus. 
Teach them about King David of Israel. Teach them about when 
King David of Israel, as a shepherd boy, went out and met an unbelieving 
Philistine giant and he took him down. Not for the glory of 
David, not for the good of Israel, but so all the earth would know 
there is a God in Israel. Teach them that. Teach them justification 
by faith alone. Teach them there are big problems 
with Roman Catholicism. Not because they stand or kneel 
or they wear funky hats, but because they mess up justification. Teach them the atonement. Teach them about the person of 
Christ. Teach them what that hymn that 
we'll sing sometime this month says. Veiled in flesh, the Godhead 
see. Hail the incarnate deity. teach them about his crosswork 
teach them about his life and his death and his resurrection 
teach them about the active obedience in the passive obedience He shouldn't 
be foreign concepts to a 12-year-old. They should be cutting their 
teeth on that stuff young, learning sound doctrine, learning good 
theology, understanding truth, putting it together, and learning 
how it affects them. You fathers play a primary role 
in that. You mothers as well play a primary 
role in that. Pick up a theology book once 
in a while. Pick up a systematic theology 
and learn what the Bible is all about so that you can accurately 
convey that to your children. Teach them the gospel of our 
Lord Jesus Christ. Teach them the law. It was said 
that if a young Hebrew boy couldn't recite the Ten Commandments, 
it wasn't him that got in trouble. It was his father. Do your kids know the Ten Commandments? 
Do they know that those Ten Commandments are to drive them to the cross 
of our Lord Jesus Christ? Fathers, teach them. You see 
why presence is important? I guess you could email them 
or text message this, but it's sure a lot better when you're 
in their lives and loving them and caring for them and right 
there with them to guide them. Now, of course, fathers, very 
specifically, in order to teach these things, you need to believe 
them. Can't teach someone something that you yourself are contrary 
to. Now, I guess there is a realm 
where academically you could teach them the facets of Christianity 
and all those sorts of things. But I want to appeal to the men 
here that maybe do not know Jesus Christ. In order to effectively 
do what Paul says here, you should be a new man in Christ. And there's 
only one way to become a new man in Christ. And it's not by 
performing these things. It's by believing the gospel 
of Jesus Christ. And when you believe that gospel 
of Jesus Christ, you are justified. You are sanctified. You've been 
empowered and enlivened and renewed and given the ability by the 
grace of God to be the father Paul calls you to be. It's a 
beautiful way that God has designed for things to operate. So if 
you are a stranger to the gospel of Jesus Christ today, you may 
be even saying, man, I'm a bad father. Oh, maybe that'll be 
the sin that drives you to the Lord who forgives sin. That's of most importance today. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ 
and you shall be saved. And as a believing father, don't 
provoke your children. Don't bring them to that discouragement 
and despair, but bring them up in the tree and the admonition 
of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us pray. Father, we thank 
you for the Holy Scriptures. We thank you for the unity, the 
consent of all the parts. We know that ultimately you are 
to be glorified in our study of Holy Writ. We pray to that 
end, God, and I pray for my brothers here very specifically to just 
forgive each one of us for our sins. Forgive us that we are 
not more like God as a father to our children and cleanse us 
afresh in the blood of Jesus and help us to take these things 
seriously. Help us to pray them in, Lord 
God, and help us to do what your word calls upon us to do, enabled 
always by your grace and the power of your spirit. We ask 
that you would go with us now. We pray that you would just give 
peace to us in our homes. May they genuinely be a place 
where Christ is glorified and honored. And we ask in his name. 
Amen.