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Please turn with me in your Bibles 
to Proverbs chapter 3. Proverbs chapter 3. In our church we have had for a 
period of time three heavy studies going on. Galatians, the Minor 
Prophets, and Hebrews. And I think that if you don't 
loosen the bowstring once in a while, it has the tendency 
to snap. And I personally do not want 
to snap, and I don't want anybody here to snap. So I thought it 
would be good for us to move our Galatians study to the evening 
worship. We'll continue on in Hebrews 
on Wednesday night. But I thought we'd do a series 
or revisit the book of Proverbs. We had done this a couple of 
years ago. some various themes from this 
particular book. We are going to review those 
particular messages, because I think we always need to be 
reminded of the things that we covered there. So, this morning 
we're going to consider biblical manhood in the book of Proverbs. And I'll explain a little bit 
more of this as we go along. But I want to read Proverbs 3, 
beginning in verse 1. My son, do not forget my law, 
but let your heart keep my commands. For length of days and long life 
and peace they will add to you. Let not mercy and truth forsake 
you. Bind them around your neck. Write 
them on the tablet of your heart. And so find favor and high esteem 
in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your 
heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways 
acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Do not be 
wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and depart from 
evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones. Honor the Lord with your possessions 
and with the firstfruits of all your increase, so your barns 
will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with 
new wine. My son, do not despise the chastening 
of the Lord, nor detest His correction. For whom the Lord loves, He corrects, 
just as a father the son in whom he delights. Amen. Well, let 
us pray. Father, we thank You for the 
Holy Scripture and we pray now for the guidance and aid of Your 
Spirit. We pray for illumination. We 
pray that our minds would be renewed and that we would continually 
seek to honor You, God, in our thoughts. and in our actions 
which should follow. We just pray that You would forgive 
us for all of our sins and iniquities. Cleanse us afresh in the blood 
of the Lord Jesus Christ. How we thank You that there is 
a fountain open for sin and uncleanness. How we thank You for redemption 
through Christ. How we thank You that You made 
Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the 
righteousness of God in Him. May we never stray from this 
reality of 2 Corinthians 5. God, as we study the Scripture, 
as we see what our responsibility is, definitely discouragement 
can result. But cause us to always be encouraged 
that we have a surety of a better covenant, that we have a forgiving 
Lord, that we have a gracious Father. And may these things 
not tend to license, but may they tend to holiness and righteousness 
on our behalf. And we ask through Jesus Christ 
the Lord, Amen. Well, in many ways, this is a 
natural outflow or an application of the things that we have been 
studying in the book of Galatians. We've been noticing and emphasizing 
the doctrine of justification by faith alone. So, over the 
next several weeks, as we consider manhood, and womanhood and childhood 
in the book of Proverbs, we see what a justified by faith man, 
woman or child looks like. When we come to the book of Proverbs, 
we see our instructions for Christian living. We are presupposing that 
we are saved by grace alone, through faith alone. in Christ 
alone. All that I say this morning concerning 
manhood does not mean if you go out and you do these things, 
then God will reward you with salvation. That is contrary to 
the emphasis that we are seeking to bring forth. We are justified 
by faith alone, in Jesus Christ alone, by God's grace alone. 
from works. We contribute nothing. Jesus 
provides for us that spotless righteousness. Jesus provides 
for us pardon from iniquity. When Jesus does this, He then 
informs our minds and our hearts in how we are to conduct ourselves 
as justified by faith men. And as we consider this this 
morning, if you are not a man, I still invite you to listen, 
because these are dealing with Christian virtues that should 
be exemplified in each and every one of our lives. And my hope 
and prayer is not only that we'll see the responsibilities that 
are justified by faith man has, but also that you'll see the 
utility, the practical nature of the book of Proverbs. It is 
a wonderful book, full of instruction from God. One commentary calls 
it, The Laws of Heaven for Life on Earth. And I think that is 
a good subtitle, The Laws of Heaven for life on earth. So, we'll consider the Christian 
man specifically this morning, and God willing, in the coming 
weeks, we'll look at him as a husband and as a father. But again, this 
applies to each and every one of us. And there's four observations 
that I want to make this morning on the Christian man. The first 
is that he's devoted to Christ. He is devoted to Christ. He is 
not a part-time fan. He is not a fair-weather fan. 
He is not somebody who simply does his religious thing on Sunday, 
but rather his life is characterized, not perfectly to be sure, but 
his life is characterized by devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. He fears God. The Proverbs sets 
forth the fear of God over and over and over again. And I'm 
going to tell you now, we're going to be looking at plenty 
of texts, so please be aware of that. If you miss some and 
you want the notes, please feel free to ask me, because these 
are wonderful passages that instruct us. Proverbs chapter 2, beginning 
at verse 5, it says, Then you will understand the fear of the 
Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom 
from His mouth from knowledge and understanding. He stores 
up sound wisdom for the upright. He is a shield to those who walk 
uprightly. He guards the paths of justice 
and preserves the way of His saints. Then you will understand 
righteousness and justice, equity and every good path." Proverbs 
14, verses 26 and 27. It says, in the fear of the Lord 
there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place 
of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain 
of life to turn one away from the snares of death. The fear 
of God. Devotion to Christ expresses 
itself in this manner. We fear the Lord. This fear of 
the Lord is not a servile running away from God, like Adam and 
Eve did when they sinned against Him. They ran from Him. The fear 
of the Lord runs through him. The fear of the Lord seeks refuge 
in the wings of God Most High. I think John Murray has explained 
the fear of the Lord perhaps as good as any author of this 
side of Scripture. He says, the fear of God in us 
is that frame of heart and mind which reflects our apprehension 
of who and what God is. The fear of God is that frame 
of heart and mind which reflects our apprehension of who and what 
God is. He says, and who and what God 
is will tolerate nothing less than totality commitment to Him. That's what the fear of the Lord 
is all about. Totality commitment to Him. And the Christian man is devoted 
to Christ. We notice in the reading that 
we did in Proverbs 3, notice his worldview according to verses 
5 and 6. It says, trust in the Lord with 
all your heart. You see, the Christian man walks 
by faith. The Christian man walks by faith 
in the exalted Lord of glory. The Christian man understands 
that he is not saved by doing. He has been saved by grace through 
faith in the Lord. And so his entire orientation 
is God-word. He doesn't do anything with an 
eye to his own accomplishments. He doesn't do anything because 
he thinks he is meriting his salvation. But rather, he is 
conscious of the fact that Christ has merited his salvation. And 
therefore, he trusts in the Lord. And it says, with all your heart. 
There's that devotion to Christ. Do you give God everything? Do 
you give God only a portion? Look what Charles Bridges says. 
He says our trust must not only be entire, it must be exclusive. Entirety and exclusivity. We have a whole nation of people 
professing faith in the risen Lord that give Him very little 
in terms of devotion. We have a very nation that confesses 
Christianity. But when we look around us, we 
are left with the question, is it genuine? Is it real? You may 
make a profession of faith this morning, but are you genuine? Is your devotion to Christ the 
real thing? This Proverbs man, this godly 
man, this Christian man trusts in the Lord with all his heart. 
He doesn't lean on his own understanding. He doesn't look to his own resources. He realizes well that he's made 
a mess of things. that he has sinned against a 
thrice holy God, that left to his own devices, he will certainly 
end in hell. So he cannot look to his own 
accomplishments. He cannot look to his own merit. 
He cannot look to his own law-keeping. The Scriptures have convinced 
him that he must be extraspective. He must be looking to Jesus. He must be trusting in the Lord 
with all his heart. Bridges goes on to say, no other 
confidence, no confidence in the flesh can consist with it. He said, man with all his pride 
feels that he wants something to lean to. As a fallen being, 
he naturally leans to himself, to his own foolish notions and 
false fancies. Human power is his idol. God 
saves us. God breaks that power of reigning 
sin. God frees us. God gives us liberty 
to no longer be will-worshippers, to no longer be self-worshippers, 
but to be God-worshippers. And we find our joy and our peace 
in Him. This man is devoted to Jesus 
Christ. He goes on to say, lean not on 
your own understanding. Verse 6, in all your ways acknowledge 
Him, and He shall direct your paths. Notice that he goes on 
to describe this man's health. His health. His spiritual health. 
Notice verse 7. Do not be wise in your own eyes. 
Fear the Lord and depart from evil. That's what the fear of 
the Lord produces is a departure from evil. You cannot successfully 
fear the Lord while you're running to evil. You fear God in order 
to run from evil. To depart from evil. He goes 
on in verse 8 to say, it will be health to your flesh and strength 
to your bones. You want spiritual health? You 
want spiritual vitality? You want spiritual ability in 
the Christian life? Be devoted to Christ. Remember, 
Jesus uses the imagery in John 15 that He is the vine and we 
are the branches. The branches sustain life based 
on the vine. They receive the nutrients from 
the sap. They receive strength as they 
are connected to the vine. Well, such is the case with the 
Christian life. So many times we try to do it 
in our own strength. I'm not suggesting we let go 
and let God. I am suggesting we adopt that 
biblical paradigm of Philippians 2. We are to work out our own 
salvation with fear and trembling, knowing that God is at work in 
us, both to will and to do for His good pleasure. We work out 
that which God has put in us, and we do it in conscious dependence 
upon the fact that He is at work in us. Both to will and to do 
according to His good pleasure. Notice, the man devoted to Christ 
honors God with his possessions. Whether he has a lot or he has 
a little. Notice in verse 9. It says, honor the Lord with 
your possessions and with the firstfruits of all your increase. 
So your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will 
overflow with new wine. I realize that there is out there 
a health, wealth, prosperity gospel, which is no gospel. The 
idea is that if you just throw God a bone, He'll make sure you 
prosper. If you just do your religious 
observance, then everything will go your way. You won't have any 
pains, you won't have any aches, you won't have any problems, 
you won't drive a 25-year-old car, you'll have a new ride, 
you won't live in a hovel, but you'll have a nice big house, 
you'll have a comfortable bank account, all of that. That's 
garbage. However, God does say, honor 
me with your possessions and I'll bless you. It's not always 
a mathematical equation. Certainly there have been people 
in the history of the world who have honored God with their possessions 
and things didn't always go their way. But God does say to do this. 
A man devoted to Christ realizes that whatever he has, he is a 
steward of because God owns it. We like to think everything is 
ours. Mine is probably the first word we learn outside of daddy 
and mommy. I never taught any of my five 
children the word mine. They sure got it down. From what 
Kelly tells me, Lily is saying mine. She says mines. That's us, man. It's mine. Not according to the Bible. And 
a man devoted to Christ realizes this. A man devoted to Christ 
realizes that the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. God is gracious. He owns everything. And He gives us a portion to 
be stewards of. Look at what He says. Honor the 
Lord with your possessions and with the firstfruits of all your 
increase. God shouldn't be the bottom line 
on your budget. God shouldn't be if there's some 
left over. God shouldn't be a negotiated 
item. This is not self-serving. I'm 
not doing this because we need money as a church. I am saying 
this because a man devoted to Christ doesn't have to be begged 
to give God his due. And it's not just the possession 
of money. It's the possession of time. 
And anymore, the big accomplishment in the religious life is to show 
up at church consistently. Why is that? Because it's my 
time. I had a guy tell me once, oh, 
I go in the morning, but the rest of the afternoon is my time. Really? Because I thought it 
was called the Lord's day. Not Jim's day. Not Cam's day. Not your day. Not even family 
day. It is the Lord's day. Honor God 
with your possessions, your talents, your time. I actually think that 
we can tell a lot about a person by what they do with their money 
and time. I think it says a lot about who they are. I think it 
says a lot about what they worship and what they value. Wherever 
the time is spent and the money is spent is generally that place 
of the most commitment. God says honor. Honor the Lord 
with your possessions and with the first fruits of all your 
increase. So your barns will be filled with plenty and your 
vats will overflow with new wine. Now, don't get into this trap. 
Well, I'm going to give in order to get. No, you give. God is 
sovereign in the dispensing of good gifts. You don't give to 
get. You give to obey. You give to 
honor. You give to bring glory to God. 
You give to wean yourself from the love of this world. You give 
to express your contentment and your thankfulness for what God 
has given. He has given us abundantly. Look 
at these emails from Christie. Man, she has to walk two hours 
to get vegetables. We probably throw away more vegetables 
than a lot of people even see in a year. And yet we complain, 
or we hoard, or we grip those things as if we have made them, 
and they are ours, and there is no coming between us. Dude, 
it's stuff. Don't be so rigorously committed 
to stuff. Be rigorously committed to Jesus. 
Honor the Lord with your possessions. Don't take the worst and give 
it to God because you don't really want it anyway. Take the best. Give it to God. That's what sacrifice 
is all about. When God came to redeem man, 
He didn't do it with the worst of His flock. He did it with 
His only begotten Son. He did it with the one He said, 
this is My beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. And yet we'll 
wander in, we'll seek to worship God, bringing our less than best. That's offensive. The Christian 
man doesn't do that as a pattern. We all do it. We all do it occasionally. But as a pattern of life, as 
the governing principle of his life, he seeks by the grace of 
God to honor the Lord. And then notice his status in 
verses 11 and 12. He's devoted to Christ in His 
worldview, in His health, His possessions, and then the status 
of verses 11 and 12. My son, do not despise the chastening 
of the Lord, nor detest His correction. For whom the Lord loves, He corrects, 
just as the Father, the Son, in whom He delights. You see 
the emphasis that we seek to lay on doctrinal Christianity. We are predestinated by the grace 
of God. We are called by the grace of 
God. We are justified by the grace 
of God. We are adopted into His family 
by the grace of God. It's based on that adopted status 
as sons and daughters of Jesus Christ, or sons and daughters 
of Abraham, that we live the way God has called us. It's very 
important that you get your minds around what you are in Jesus 
in order to live for Jesus. And this is what he says, do 
not despise the chasing of the Lord, nor detest His correction. 
For whom the Lord loves, He corrects, just as a father the son in whom 
he delights. You know what this tells us? 
This is a direct contradiction of the health, wealth, prosperity 
gospel. You will be corrected in your Christian life. You will 
be chastened. You will be scourged. You will 
be taken to the wood shack. You know what that demonstrates? 
God loves you. Any parent here worth his weight in salt is going 
to say to his child, I am doing this because I love you. Hopefully 
he's doing it first and foremost because he loves Jesus and wants 
to obey God's Word. But he's doing it because he 
loves the child. He doesn't discipline the child 
because he hates the child and wants to destroy the child. Just 
the opposite according to the Proverbs. He who spares his rod 
does what? He hates his son. But he who 
loves his son disciplines him promptly. That's a sign, an evidence, 
a display, a manifestation of your love to your child. And 
it's the same with God. Do not despise the chasing of 
the Lord. Sometimes we adopt this victim 
mentality. God's against me. Everything 
is bad. He must hate me. No. Puritans 
understood things better. They understood things in a Solomonic 
reference. They said if God's chastening 
you, that's a sign that He loves you. It's an evidence. That's 
a manifestation. The book of Hebrews picks this 
up in Hebrews 12. What son is there whom his father 
doesn't discipline? He says, no discipline for the 
moment feels good. It's not like while you're getting 
that swat, you're saying, wow, is this ever great. Any of you 
children do that, your parents aren't spanking you properly. 
You shouldn't be going, wow, this is great. This is what the 
Bible says. No discipline for the moment 
feels good. But afterward, He says, it yields 
the peaceable fruit of righteousness. God is bent on not only justifying 
us, but conforming us unto the image of His Son. And that means 
frequent trips to the woodshed. That means frequent visits with 
the switch. That means frequent discipline 
from our loving Father. That's what he says here. Don't 
despise it. Dare I say, rejoice in it? Despise 
it when God doesn't deal with you. Despise it when God doesn't 
discipline you. Despise it when you are left 
to yourself. That's what we ought to despise. 
That's a picture of hell on earth. Thrice in the book of Romans, 
when Paul is tracing the depravity of men, he says, and God gave 
them over. When you get to that place of 
God having given you over, that's a bad place to be. We need restraint. We need discipline. We need to 
be hedged in. We need to be visited frequently 
by our Heavenly Father if we are to be conformed to the image 
of our Lord Jesus Christ. So, the Christian man is first 
devoted to Christ. Secondly, he is disciplined in 
his life. This is going to vary from man 
to man. This is going to vary to be sure. 
But as a general rule and as a general practice, the Christian 
man is disciplined in his life. I believe the first stage of 
good government is self-government. The first stage of good government 
is self-government. If people govern themselves properly, 
life would be so much better, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it be great if people 
actually took the time to do what they're supposed to? Just 
imagine. You're driving on the road. Somebody 
doesn't cut you off because they stopped. They governed themselves. 
They said, if I do that, I may cause a wreck. Not me, man. I'm just going to drive on out 
there. That's not self-government. You've got a nation of ungoverned 
individuals with a group of ungoverned individuals ruling over them. 
It's a recipe for disaster. But the man of God, the Christian 
man, manhood in the book of Proverbs, he is disciplined in his life. This is manifested in three ways. 
The first, he restrains his tongue. He restrains his tongue. Proverbs 
4.24. Put away from you a deceitful 
mouth and put perverse lips far from you. That's in a context. It's the first stage of a practical 
application of verse 23. Verse 23 says, keep your heart 
with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. 
So the Christian man is disciplined in his life. He's watching his 
heart. He understands that from his 
heart flow all the issues of life. He doesn't do this part-time. 
He doesn't do this haphazardly. He doesn't just do this on Sunday, 
but rather he does it with all diligence. He realizes the ability 
that he has for good or ill, and so he is on guard watching 
his heart. And the first practical way that 
he does this is to put away from you a deceitful mouth and put 
perverse lips far from you. Look at Proverbs 10 and verse 
11. Proverbs 10 and verse 11. The 
mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers 
the mouth. of the wicked. Proverbs 10, verse 
19. In the multitude of words, sin 
is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise. There'd be 
a lot less sin if there was a lot less talk. God designed us this way. I know you've heard this before. 
I know you've heard it from my lips. I know you've heard it 
from this pulpit. But it's so important it bears 
repeating. You have two ears. You have one 
mouth. You don't need to be a mathematician 
to figure it out. You should listen more than you 
speak. Because in the multitude of words, 
sin is not lacking. The more you talk, the more opportunity 
for you to sin. What's the take-home message? 
Shut your mouth more. We don't like to hear that because 
we like to talk. You're a preacher, preacher. 
You must like to talk. By nature. Most of the times when we're 
listening to somebody, it's like, please be quiet so I can talk. 
You're sort of waiting for that moment when they stop to take 
a breath so you can shoot in there. Do you do that? When somebody's 
talking to you, are you valuing what they're saying? Are you 
taking it in? Are you mulling it over in your 
head? Are you receiving it? Are you contemplating? Are you 
giving due attention to the fact that they're an image-bearer 
of the living God? Or are you just waiting, just 
waiting for the opportunity to get in there? They're taking 
a breath and you're there. Ok, now let's talk about what's 
really important. Maybe you all don't do this. Maybe you all 
restrain your tongue. Maybe you all got this down. 
There's a lot of people in this world, though, that that shoe 
fits. They can't wait to talk. They think everybody wants to 
hear them. They've neglected the Proverbs where it says, the 
heart of the righteous studies how to answer. Proverbs 10.31, the mouth of 
the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will 
be cut out. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but 
the mouth of the wicked what is perverse. Proverbs 12.22, 
lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal 
truthfully are His delight. You don't get to shame the truth 
because you're a Christian and Jesus has forgiven you of your 
sins. You're going to lie on your tax returns because Jesus 
has forgiven you of your sins? Where does it ever say, okay, 
now you get to lie? You get to speak corruptly because 
Jesus has forgiven you of your sins. Proverbs 13, 3. He who guards 
his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips 
shall have destruction. Proverbs 15, 1 and 2. A soft 
answer turns away wrath. Wouldn't it be great if we all 
took that one home, prayed about it, thought about it, figured 
out how we could apply it? A soft answer turns away wrath. If you're like me, when somebody 
calls you on something, your first response isn't a soft answer. We're like a hornet's nest getting 
poked. What happens when you poke a 
hornet's nest? They come out and sting you. You've got to 
run, because those hornets are going to get you. You poke us 
and what happens? Do you get a soft answer that 
turns away wrath? Or do you get, well, what about 
you? How come you this? How come you that? How come you 
this? How come you...? Okay. Well, I'm talking about 
you right now, man. A soft answer turns away wrath. How would our marriages benefit 
in a Proverbs 15 environment? How would our relationships with 
our children benefit in a Proverbs 15.1 relationship. How could 
you children honor your parents in a Proverbs 15.1 relationship? A soft answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge 
rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. Proverbs 15.28 The heart of the 
righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours 
forth evil. Do you ever get that? You're 
reading the book of Proverbs and you kind of visualize certain 
things. There's a proverb that says, why is there the purchase 
price of wisdom in the hand of a fool? Since he has no heart 
for it. I actually have this view. A 
guy standing in a superstore looking up at wisdom. He's got 
it in his hand. He's looking at the purchase 
price. But the Scripture says, why? He has no heart for it. It doesn't matter to him. He 
doesn't care. What about this one? The mouth of the wicked pours 
forth evil. It just comes vomiting out. We 
do that, brethren. We pour forth evil. Most often 
on the people we love the most, we see some of the most heinous 
things that we wouldn't say to anybody else. But man, God gave 
me this woman or this man for a husband or a wife. God gave 
me these little children to rear unto His glory. God gave me this 
father or mother who works their fingers to the bone so that I 
have everything. And while I should honor and 
praise and glorify God, because He put this person in my life, 
I'm going to pour forth evil on them. I'm going to spew it 
out. I'm going to lie to them. I'm 
going to cheat them. I'm going to deceive them. I'm going to 
say bad things to them. I'm not a godly man. I'm not a Christian man. I'm 
not a Christian woman or a Christian boy or girl. You restrain that 
tongue. You know when James says that 
the tongue is unruly evil? When he says that we can tame 
all manner of beasts? You could teach a crocodile to 
open up its jaw and put your head in there and then remove 
it, and then the crocodile slams its jaw. We can do that, but 
no man can tame the tongue. It's an unruly evil. You ever 
thought of that? Why is James telling me that? 
Why is he telling me that I cannot tame my tongue? So I'll despair? So I'll be discouraged? So I'll 
just justify it? Well, James said, I can't tame 
it, so I'm going to let fly. It sends us to God. It sends 
us to Christ. No man can tame it, but our God, 
through the power of His Spirit and His Word, can restrain that. 
That's what it's about. The godly man restrains his tongue. Silence is often the best proof 
of wisdom, according to Charles Bridges, commenting, of course, 
on Proverbs 17, 27, and 28. He who has knowledge spares his 
words. And a man of understanding is 
of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when 
he holds his peace. When he shuts his lips, he is 
considered perceptive." It's a proverb to live by. You may 
be thinking about Taco Bell, but because you don't say anything, 
people think you're wise. Not that you're trying to fake 
them out. But look at what Solomon says. Even a fool is counted 
wise when he holds his peace. They could be talking about splitting 
the atom, and you're thinking about, what are we going to have 
for dinner tonight? That guy's really wise. You see that? He just sat there. He's quiet. He's so wise. You get him on 
the side. What were you thinking about? 
I was thinking about what I was going to have for dinner. Well, Solomon said, you're wise. Better than jumping into that 
mess. Some of us, maybe not some of 
us, some of you, I don't think I fit that paradigm. I got my 
paradigms. I got my issues. But some of 
you want to fix everything. Everything. I think this is a 
failure, first of all, to reckon with God's absolute sovereignty. 
You're Calvinists. You should know better. But secondly, 
you just can't. What does Solomon say about a 
man who walks into an argument or into a dispute that is not 
his own? It's like grabbing a dog by the 
ears, isn't it? I don't make that a practice. 
I might grab my little dog by the ears just to play with her, 
but if I'm walking down the street and I see a big beast of a dog, 
I don't, as a general rule, go grab it by the ears. Solomon 
says, don't butt into people's things. If you are called upon 
to be a witness, praise God. Do it biblically. Don't try to 
fix everything. Sometimes the best thing is to 
avoid, stay away, let people work out their issues. There 
really is a Holy Spirit in the church. There really is God the 
Holy Spirit who's good at fixing disputes. Who's good at bringing 
conviction. Who's good at bringing correction 
and reproof. Who's good at bringing doctrine 
to remind people of what they ought to do. Now again, if you're 
called upon to help, that's a different story. Both sides agree. Hey, 
let's seek some assistance. Great. No problem. We should 
be able to do that. But some people like to grab 
dogs by the ears. I just can't figure that out. 
So the man restrains his tongue. The Bible calls us to be good 
communicators. That doesn't mean we all stand 
up and preach. Doesn't mean we all use big $5 words. Doesn't 
mean that we calculate everything that we're ever going to say. 
But we are to let no corrupt word flow from our mouths. We're 
to speak those things which are necessary for edification. We 
are called upon as men to communicate. You don't fix problems by not 
communicating. You fix problems by communicating. You deal with people by communicating. And so you need to learn those 
rules. You need to restrain the tongue. 
So he is disciplined in his life, first of all, he restrains his 
tongue. Secondly, he restrains his passions. The Proverbs are 
filled with this emphasis on the restraint of passions. And what I mean by passions, 
the three obvious ones that surface frequently in the book of Proverbs 
are alcohol, food, and sex. It doesn't say these are all 
bad things, never participate in them. But it does say you 
need to restrain your passions in the moderate use of them. 
It doesn't demonize it. It doesn't say they are otherworldly. It doesn't say they are only 
connected to this earth. God made these things. God brought 
these things in the lives of His preachers for His glory and 
for their well-being. But the Christian man is disciplined 
in his life and he restrains his passions. Proverbs 20, verse 
1, He understands that wine is a mocker and strong drink is 
a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise. See the issue there? He is not 
led astray by it. He's not giving it religious 
attention or devotion. It's not a defining characteristic 
in his life. Proverbs 21 and verse 17. 21 and 17. He who loves pleasure 
will be a poor man. He who loves wine and oil will 
not be rich. There's a place in L.A. called Skid Row. Men live in 
boxes. You can see some of this on East 
Hastings in Vancouver. Now, I realize mental illness 
plays a part in some of these people's lives. I understand 
that. I understand that sometimes providence can be a harsh thing 
in people's lives. I get that. But a lot of times, 
people are in that position because they love pleasure. They love 
wine. They love oil. And as a result, 
their lives are jacked up. The Christian man identifies 
this. Augustine came from a place of profligacy. Augustine came 
from a place of whoredom and a place of alcohol abuse. So 
for him, he realized that abstaining from certain things was easier 
than moderation. He understood the reality of 
this pressure that a godly man restrains his passions. Proverbs 
23, 29. Proverbs 23, 29. Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds 
without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those 
who linger long at the wine. Solomon's not saying it's wicked 
and demonic to have a glass of wine with your dinner. Solomon 
is saying that those who linger long at the wine, those who give 
it this attention, those who look upon the wine when it's 
red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly, 
at the last it bites like a serpent and stings like a viper. Your 
eyes will see strange things. Pink elephants it may be. Maybe 
all kinds of strange things. Look at this, what he's saying. 
In your heart will utter perverse things. You may not be being 
honest. You may be being foolish and 
perverse. He says, yes, you will be like 
one who lies down in the midst of the sea or like one who lies 
at the top of the mast saying, they have struck me, but I was 
not hurt. They have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall 
I awake that I may seek another drink? You think the hangover would 
teach the guy differently? Not so. Give me more. The godly man restrains his passion. He restrains his use of food. 
Again, food's a good thing. It's not bad. It's not wicked. 
It's not evil. But do we live to eat? Do we 
eat to live? Right? What is your religious commitment? Food. That's wrong. Now, I don't 
want to be this weird guy demonizing the fact that you're going to 
have a nice roast beef dinner today. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't. Maybe you're 
going to have tacos. We'll probably have burritos. That's the default 
meal in our home when Mrs. Butler is away. Burritos are 
easy. Tortillas are cheap. And they're 
yummy. Food is good. It's a gift given 
by God. In fact, it's demonic to not 
receive it with joy. It's demonic to make rules about, 
you can't eat meat on Fridays, you can't eat meat during Lent. 
These are doctrines of demons, man, that sometimes we avail 
with God based on what we eat and what we don't eat. But having 
said that, brethren, we need to show restraint with reference 
to food. Proverbs 23, 1-3, when you sit 
down to eat with a ruler, consider carefully what is before you, 
and put a knife to your throat if you are a man given to appetite. 
Do not desire his delicacies, for they are deceptive food. Proverbs 23, 20 and 21. Look at verse 19, "'Hear, my 
son, and be wise, and guard your heart in the way. Do not mix 
with wine-bibbers or with gluttonous eaters of meat.' More often than 
not, the abuse of alcohol is coupled with gluttony. And a proneness to abusing alcohol 
and food often is associated with sexual sin." We're not disembodied 
spirits. We're whole men. We're not guarding 
ourselves in one area. We are likely to be off guard 
in all areas. Very important that we understand 
this. He says, the drunkard and the 
glutton will come to poverty and drowsiness will clothe a 
man with rags. And then Proverbs 25, 16. Proverbs 25, 16. Have you found 
honey? Eat only as much as you need, 
lest you be filled with it and vomit. If you find honey, eat 
what you need. Don't eat to the point where 
you've got a purge. Hasn't it ever just puzzled you 
that we live in a world where a large majority of people don't 
have enough food for a day and we have people who binge and 
purge? It's almost a religious commitment 
to food. These contests, and I'm not demonizing 
a legitimate contest. I don't care that you can eat 
50 hot dogs. Go feed 50 people. We have an 
abuse of food. This isn't my pet said. This 
is what a Christian man hopefully is thinking about. He restrains 
his passions. He doesn't go hog wild with alcohol. He doesn't go hog wild with food. And He doesn't go hog wild with 
sex. We're not animals. Evolution 
is wrong. These are not urges that have 
to be met. They're means by which God sustains 
our lives. Gives us joy. Gives us happiness. Gives us a blessing. He restrains 
his sexual passions. Proverbs 5, 7 and 8. Amazing 
statement here in Proverbs 5, 7 and 8. Therefore, hear me now, 
verse 7, my children, and do not depart from the words of 
my youth. Remove your way far from her and do not go near the 
door of her house, lest you give your honor to others in your 
years to the cruel one. The wisdom of Solomon, I only 
wished he would have listened to this later on in his life. 
Remove your way far from her. Do not go near the door of her 
house." He doesn't say, get as close as you possibly can without 
sinning. He doesn't say, don't go near 
her bed. He says, don't go near her door. Why? Because you're not that 
holy. You're not that godly. You're 
not that restrained. If you go to the door, you are 
making a huge step. Most of the times when people 
fail or fall sexually, there was a lot of steps that preceded 
that. You're foolish to think otherwise. 
I guess there's the crime of passion. I guess there's that 
time when it just happened. Those probably do consist, but 
by and large, it's a series of steps. We start off not going 
near the door of her house. Then we rationalize, well, I 
won't go near her bed. I can be in a hallway. I can 
get close. No, you can't. Can a man take 
fire into his bosom and not get burned? Proverbs 7. What's the 
answer? Of course not. What happens to an adulterer? 
Wounds and dishonor he will get. From who? From the offended man. He's going to punch your lights 
out. God says you have it coming. Don't mess with another man's 
wife. You don't touch her. You touch your wife. Rejoice with the wife of your 
youth. Proverbs 5 goes on to say. Regard yourself against 
sexual sin. Remove your way far from her 
door. Rejoice in your own life and remember that God is always 
watching everything you do. Those are the three R's to sexual 
purity in Proverbs chapter 5. Remove, rejoice, and remember. A Christian man seeks to apply 
that paradigm. Proverbs 7, I already alluded 
to it. Proverbs 23. 26-28. Proverbs 23, 26-28, My 
son, give me your heart and let your eyes observe my ways. For 
a harlot is a deep pit and a seductress is a narrow well. She also lies 
in wait as for a victim and increases the unfaithful among men. So the man restrains his tongue, 
he restrains his passions, and most importantly, he restrains 
himself. Galatians 5 speaks of the fruits 
of the Holy Spirit. One of those fruits? Self-control. Proverbs speaks a lot to that 
very issue. Proverbs 14 and verse 17. Proverbs 14 and verse 17. It 
says, A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man of wicked 
intentions is aided. A quick-tempered man acts foolishly. What should you change? Quit being quick-tempered. But 
I've tried. I can't change. Try harder. Restrain yourself. Because you're 
going to make foolish decisions. Proverbs 14 and verse 29, He 
who is slow to wrath has great understanding. But he who is 
impulsive exalts falling. Proverbs 15, verse 18, a wrathful 
man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention. Proverbs 16, verse 32, he who 
is slow to anger, notice, is better than the mighty. You're 
better than the mighty if you're slow to anger, according to Solomon. 
And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. What's he 
saying? It's easier to join a militia 
and take down a city than to govern your spirit. Doesn't experience teach us that? 
Some of you guys accomplish a great deal of things. We do all our 
work, we seek to honor God, we're faithful, and you might say, 
wow, it's easier to go and build this, or do this, or go there, 
or compute this, or work this figure out, than to control my 
spirit. Christian man identifies that. 
By God's grace, he seeks to subdue it. Proverbs 18, 2. Proverbs 
18, 2. A fool has no delight in understanding, 
but in expressing his own heart. 19, 11. The discretion of a man 
makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. God calls that a glory. Some 
of us have difficulty ever, ever being wrong. Man, how could you 
ever do that against me? Don't you know I'm me? The glory 
of a man is to overlook transgression. Let it go. Be forbearing. Be forgiving. Remember that Jesus 
has forgiven you a lot. You don't have to make your wife 
or your husband or your child pay for everything he's ever 
said. Proverbs 20, verse 3. It is honorable for a man to 
stop striving since any fool can start a quarrel. You come 
home from school one day, children, and say, wow, I started a quarrel 
today. Good job. Now Solomon says any 
fool can do that. You don't need any advanced training 
in that. You don't need a seminar for that. Any fool can start 
a quarrel. Proverbs 25 and verse 28. Proverbs 
25 and verse 28. I know we're going through a 
lot of these because I want you to see. These are emphases that 
Solomon has for us. These are laws from heaven for 
life on earth. God does not waste words. We 
get to a man in business and we get to a man who is determined 
to do justly. Several times in the book of 
Proverbs, God says He abominates unjust scales. We think, what's 
the big deal? Shave a little, cheat a little. 
God says it's a huge deal. When you cheat men, when you 
deceive men, when you try to hurt men financially or in business 
or in merchandise, God calls that an abomination. It's interesting, 
several things He doesn't call an abomination in the book of 
Proverbs. Things that incense us, things that anger us, things 
that make us go nuts. I don't know of anywhere in Proverbs 
that it says God abominates a homosexual. But I know several times where 
God abominates those who cheat people. But to say God doesn't 
abominate homosexuality, other passages in the Bible speak to 
that. You know, things that make us angry don't always pan out 
or flesh out. But the things that we take for 
granted, of course everybody cheats in this, of course everybody 
does this, of course, nobody does this. God says it's an abomination. Proverbs 25-28, whoever has no 
rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls. 
Young men, remember that. You don't have rule over your 
spirit, you're like a city broken down without walls. I know this 
doesn't mean as much today. We don't have a wall around Chilliwack. 
We don't have a wall around Canada. But in ancient cities, that wall 
was of vital importance. If you didn't have a wall, you 
were open to attack, you were open to be pillaged, you were 
open to be destroyed, dispossessed, displaced. Every bad thing could 
possibly happen. That's what he says. Whoever 
has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without 
walls. You're open. You're praying to 
be displaced, to be dispossessed. You don't have that wall firmly 
constructed. You don't have that self-control. 
You don't have that desire to govern yourself as God's Word 
calls you to. You're going to be open to everything. 
And that is simply not a good way to live. We'll close or we'll 
finish there. He's devoted to Christ. He's 
disciplined in his life. God willing, next week we'll 
take up. He is diligent in his work. And fourthly, he is determined 
to do justly. He is determined to do justly 
by way of application. Men, it's not just for you. All 
of these things should be true of all of us who profess faith 
in Jesus Christ, devotion to Christ, and discipline in our 
lives. And going through this list, 
ladies, this doesn't mean you get to just do whatever you want. You can have it all, baby. Just 
whatever. No, we're going to focus on that 
in a few weeks. So, right now, everybody think 
about this and ask the question, am I devoted to Christ? And if 
I profess faith in Christ, why am I not devoted to Him? And in this instance, it's easy 
to blame everything else. Well, I'm not as devoted as I 
ought because I'm married to him or I'm married to her. I'm 
not as devoted as I ought because I have them for children. I'm 
not as devoted as I ought because I have him for a father. It's 
always interested me and always caused me to think through this 
that Proverbs 4.23 says we are to keep our own heart with all 
diligence. The onus is first and foremost 
always on us. Good godly men throughout the 
history of the world have overcome in spite of opposition. Good 
godly men have persevered in spite of opposition. There was 
a man that we look at in the Scriptures as a hero, and rightly 
so. We sing a song about him. We 
say, dare to be a Daniel. I dare say, brethren, being brought 
up in the Babylonian empire, being put into Nebuchadnezzar's 
cabinet, being schooled in their schools, being reared in their 
literature, Being taught the wisdom of Babylon was probably 
a difficult chore for a godly man. He did it. When the decree is made that 
he can't pray to his God, what's he do? Oh, my circumstances have 
limited me from being devoted to Jesus. We're all such victims. It started with Adam. The woman whom you gave me. She 
gave me the fruit. Then Adam says, it was the serpent. 
Just accept responsibility. I believe this is the first place 
of biblical healing. When you realize, I'm jacked 
up. I'm a sinner. Jesus heals sinners. There is a fountain open for 
sin and uncleanness. Not a fountain open for all of 
your reasons and excuses. There is, because God's that 
good. He'll even wash you clean from that. We profess faith in Christ, we 
ought to be devoted to Him. We ought to be devoted to Jesus. 
We ought to have that Proverbs 3, 5, and 6 mindset. Trust in 
the Lord with all our hearts, not leaning on our own understanding. 
In all our ways, acknowledging Him. That means through prayer 
and it means through searching the Scriptures, seeking biblical 
counsel, dare I say it, from the Bible. Read it. Study it. Underline it. Make the Bible practical in your 
life. Take these Proverbs. Write a 
little J next to the ones that deal with justice. Write a little 
D for the ones that deal with diligence. Write a little M for 
the ones that deal with your big mouth. So you can go to those 
and you can pray about those and you can say, God, help me. 
I want to be this kind of a man. Because Jesus died for me. He 
rose again. Jesus has justified me. And Jesus 
is to sanctify me. And I want to be sanctified. 
I want to be holy. I want to be a blessing to others. 
I don't want my wife or my husband to roll their eyes every time 
I walk in the room. I don't want my children to think 
I'm a big, fat hypocrite. I don't want my sons or daughters 
to look at me like I'm off my rocker. Brethren, own it. Examine yourselves. Are you, 
by God's grace, striving to maintain restraint in these particular 
areas? The tongue, the passions, and 
in self? Ladies, I don't want to hurt 
your feelings, but most of the times in the Bible, when it speaks 
of gossip, it's in connection with women. Shut your mouths. Speak kind things. You don't 
have to repeat everything. Don't be a slanderer. Don't be 
a tail bearer. God's law speaks to these issues. And are you striving to maintain 
restraint over your physical passions? The use of food and 
alcohol and sex isn't just a man thing. Bridges says God gives 
us our body to feed, not to pamper, to be the servant, not the master 
of the soul. And then secondly, by way of 
an exhortation specifically to men, I want to call your attention 
to something. Weak men. Biblically weak. I don't mean 
physically weak. Josh could outbench anybody here 
at this point. No, I'm just kidding. Just picking 
on my son here. He's put on some weight. He's 
good in the weight room. I'm not talking about physically weak. 
You're physically weak, my problem is not with you. You're biblically 
weak, step it up. I don't think it's the unpardonable 
sin. There's a couple of preachers I've heard who've attacked men 
as if it's the unpardonable sin. Boy, you this bad, blah, blah, 
blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what? It's a sin like 
all the other sins. Repent. Continue to believe the 
Gospel. Go to that fountain that is open for sin and uncleanness. 
Deal with it. Resolve. I'm going to actually 
govern my passions. I'm going to shut my mouth more. 
I'm not going to drink so much. I'm not going to eat so much. 
I'm not going to look at this. I'm not going to go there. I'm not going to do that. Because 
weak men, biblically weak men, produce weak families. They produce weak churches. They produce weak societies. Please, take that home. Pray 
about it. Ask yourself, am I doing what 
God calls me to do? And finally, be encouraged, my 
brothers. It's not the unpardonable sin. 
It is a sin. We all need to repent. I'm not 
up here like, I'm the machismo guy here. I got it all down. 
No, no, no, no. I got to repent. By the time 
I read the book of Proverbs, I got to repent. By the time 
I read the Bible, I got to repent. But praise God and be encouraged, 
it's not the unpardonable sin. Praise God that Jesus restrained 
His passions. Praise God that Jesus was always 
devoted to His Father. Praise God for Jesus' righteousness. Praise God for the doctrine of 
imputation, where we have failed, where we have not governed, where 
we have been a city broken down without walls. Christ did all 
things perfectly. Be encouraged that you will not 
go to heaven because you did these things. You will go to 
heaven because Jesus did these things. Jesus obeyed perfectly. Jesus died at Calvary. Jesus 
rose again for our justification. Do not forget the doctrine of 
justification. Do not forget that truth, that 
God pardons all our sins and accepts us as righteous in His 
sight, only for the righteousness of Christ imputed to us and received 
by faith alone. That's the foundation for us 
to go out and restrain our passions. For us to go out and be godly 
men. For us to go out and be strong. To be of service in our 
church, in our family, in our society. That's the gospel dynamic. We believe we're justified. Now 
go out and live the way God has called you to live. And if you 
are not saved, if these things have found you out, you are broken, 
you are sinful, you are destitute of any righteousness before God. 
You see yourself as having abused these areas, flee to the Redeemer. 
Flee to Jesus and He will forgive you of all of your sins. Well, 
let us pray. Father, we thank you for your 
Word, and we thank you, God, for the fact that it speaks to 
each one of us. And we pray that you would help 
us to take these things to heart, help us to search the Scriptures, 
help us to continue to show some familiarity with the book of 
Proverbs and to understand your Word for our lives. And I pray 
for all of my brothers here that you would just cause them to 
reflect on the glory of Christ Jesus, our covenant head, our 
mediator, our surety. May we be encouraged. And God, 
may we, by your grace, go from this place seeking, by your grace, 
to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, knowing 
that you are working in us both to will and to do for your good 
pleasure. And we ask through Jesus Christ 
our Lord, amen.