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Please turn with me in your Bibles 
to the book of Proverbs, Proverbs chapter four. Proverbs chapter 
four. I'll read verses one to nine. 
Proverbs 4, beginning in verse 1, hear my children the instruction 
of a father and give attention to no understanding. For I give 
you good doctrine. Do not forsake my law. When I 
was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of 
my mother, he also taught me and said to me, let your heart 
retain my words. Keep my commands and live. Get 
wisdom, get understanding. Do not forget nor turn away from 
the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her and she will 
preserve you. Love her and she will keep you. 
Wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom. And in 
all you're getting, get understanding. Exalt her and she will promote 
you. She will bring you honor when you embrace her. She will 
place on your head an ornament of grace, a crown of glory she 
will deliver to you. Amen. Well, let us pray. Father, 
we thank you for your word. We thank you now for the ministry 
of the Holy Spirit to take these things and apply them to our 
hearts. Thank you for the men in this church that are fathers. 
I pray for your blessing upon them. Pray for all of us that 
we would be faithful in light of our callings in scripture, 
that you would cause us to know the presence and the power of 
the Spirit, and to know the joy of being found in Jesus Christ, 
that gospel of our salvation. We thank you for all of your 
provision to us. We thank you that you keep us, 
that you protect us, that you guard us and defend us, and that 
you have promised that you who have began this good work in 
us will bring it to completion on that day of Christ. And we 
rejoice in that, Lord God. Forgive us now again for all 
of our sins and unrighteousness, and we pray through Jesus Christ 
our Lord. Amen. Well, I want to address 
the Christian husband and father tonight. It won't be just from 
here in Proverbs chapter 4, but you do see something interesting 
here in Proverbs chapter 4 in terms of the blessing of transgenerational 
Christianity. It's not a transgenerational 
Christianity just because someone is born to a Christian man. they're 
going to necessarily be saved. But in this particular instance, 
that's what happens. David was a godly man. David 
was theologically oriented. David feared the Lord. He didn't 
commit idolatry. He fought the wars of the Lord. 
He was faithful in all of his days. And he passes down wisdom 
to Solomon, And then Solomon in the book of Proverbs does 
the same thing with reference to his own children. So according 
to verses 3 and 4, David taught Solomon, and then Solomon taught 
his children. The primary emphasis is on wisdom, 
and that shouldn't shock us because that was Solomon's request when 
Yahweh comes to him and asks him what is it that he desires. 
He doesn't ask for riches, he doesn't ask for houses, he doesn't 
ask for wives, but rather he asks for wisdom. He understands 
that to administer the kingdom of heaven on earth as it was, 
typologically, he would require a great deal of wisdom and commitment 
to the truth of God's word. So the primary emphasis is on 
wisdom, and it is God's Word and Spirit that produce that 
wisdom or promote that wisdom in the hearts of God's people. 
So I want to do two things tonight. First, look at the Christian 
husband, and then secondly, the Christian father. And if asked 
why the husband first, well, I think that one of the best 
things that a man can pass on to his children is a true love 
and a devotion to his wife. not in a sinful, sick, sort of 
adorational way, but to be a good, godly husband to one's wife is 
a great gift to the children that witness such things. For 
the young men, it causes them to rise up and to want to have 
that type of a marriage. For a young woman, it causes 
her to want to find that kind of man. that loves and is devoted 
to her. So it's a great gift, or one 
of the better gifts, that a man can pass on to his wife, or to 
his children rather, and that is the love of his wife. So first, 
the good husband is a godly man. The good husband is a godly man. 
There's three things here that I want to deal with. First, he 
fears the Lord. If you go back to Proverbs chapter 
1, you see that emphasis early on in the book of Proverbs. Essentially, 
you have the purpose of the Proverbs in verses 1 to 6, and then the 
necessary prerequisite for the study of Proverbs in verse 7. And that is, the fear of the 
Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and 
instruction. Notice in chapter 2 at verse 
5, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the 
knowledge of God. Chapter 3 in verse 7, do not 
be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. 
To the degree that we fear God is the degree to which we will 
depart from evil. If we're not departing from evil, 
then chances are we're not fearing God. And so the godly man fears 
the Lord. Notice in 9.10, similar to what 
we saw in 1.7, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom 
and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 
14 and verse 26, in the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence 
and his children will have a place of refuge. And then again in 
1533, the fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom and 
before honor is humility. So a godly man, a godly husband 
is a man who fears God. and that means he's rightly connected 
to God by grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. The 
fear of the Lord oftentimes in the Old Testament is simple theological 
shorthand for rightly related to God by grace through faith 
in our Lord Jesus Christ. It's not the sort of fear that 
runs from God, it's the sort of fear that runs to God and 
finds a refuge because of what God has done in and through his 
son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Secondly, not only does he fear 
the Lord, but he deals with his sin. Proverbs chapter 28. Proverbs chapter 28. The good 
husband is a godly man. He fears the Lord. Secondly, 
he deals with his sin. Proverbs 28, 13. A text that 
ought not to ever be overlooked or underlooked or neglected or 
ignored. He who covers his sins will not 
prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. 
Now, the principle is obvious. If you try to cover your sin, 
you're not gonna prosper. What does that mean? Well, don't 
cover it before God, but don't cover it before your wife. Don't 
cover it before your children. A good godly man demonstrates 
that reality in the lives of the people in his home. He sins. He needs forgiveness. He needs 
to invoke the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. He comes to 
you with that humility that is requisite, a safe sinner, and 
he seeks to deal with his sin biblically and righteously and 
faithfully. So the godly man deals with his 
sin. And then thirdly, the husband 
is a godly man. He is committed to the Lord. 
You can turn to Proverbs 3. Proverbs chapter 3. Specifically 
at verses 5 and 6, trust in the Lord with all your heart and 
lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge 
him, and he shall direct your paths." Now, none of this should 
be a surprise. None of this should be a shock. 
No one should say, wow, this is absolutely amazing. It's just 
basic biblical Christianity. But notice specifically, it's 
to be an entire commitment. Trust in the Lord with all your 
heart. It's supposed to be an exclusive 
commitment and lean not on your own understanding. And it must 
be an exhaustive commitment in all your ways acknowledge him 
and he shall direct your paths. That's the type of man that functions 
well as a husband to his wife. So the good husband is a godly 
man. And then secondly, by way of 
a larger observation, the good husband loves his wife. If it 
is one of the better gifts for a man to pass on to his children 
a good relationship with his wife, one that they can see, 
one that is quantifiable, one that is demonstrable, then it 
must be worked out in the life of the home. And I would suggest 
first here that the man sees her as a gift. He sees her as 
a gift. He doesn't see her as an albatross 
around his neck. He doesn't see her as the curse 
upon him. He doesn't see her as drudgery. 
He doesn't see her as a chore, but rather he sees her as a gift. Notice in Proverbs 12 at verse 
four, an excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she 
who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. So an excellent 
wife is the crown of her husband. That's a gift. Notice in Proverbs 
18.22. Proverbs 18.22. He who finds a wife finds a good 
thing and obtains favor from the Lord. It's a blessed thing. 
It's a gift God gave to that particular man. And here specifically, 
he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from 
the Lord. And then again in Proverbs 19 at verse 14, houses and riches 
are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the 
Lord. Brothers, everyone in your house 
knows when you're not operating according to this fundamental 
presupposition. Everybody knows when you see 
your wife as an albatross rather than as a gift. Everyone knows 
when you hold her in contempt or with bitterness or with an 
anger, everybody sees it. You may think you're the mystery 
man. You may think you're getting away with it, but you're not. 
It is evident. It is obvious. And your wife 
and your children, they see it. They witness it. They see the 
difference between contempt and they see the difference between 
love and kindness and an appreciation for a good wife. Luther said, 
the greatest gift of God is a pious, amiable spouse who fears God, 
loves his house, and with whom one can live in perfect confidence. 
Now, it shouldn't go without saying that ladies function as 
gifts. Don't function as an albatross 
around his neck. Don't function as the one that 
would rather make him live out in the wilderness or live on 
a rooftop. Next, he provides for her needs. Proverbs 27. Proverbs 27. This is picked up by Paul in 
1 Timothy chapter 5 at verse 8. If a man does not provide 
for his own, he's worse than an infidel. He is worse than 
an unbeliever. But in Proverbs 27, specifically 
at verse 23, be diligent to know the state of your flocks and 
attend to your herds. For riches are not forever, nor 
does a crown endure to all generations. When the hay is removed and the 
tender grass shows itself and the herbs of the mountains are 
gathered in, the lambs will provide your clothing and the goats the 
price of a field. You shall have enough goat's milk for your food, 
for the food of your household and the nourishment of your maidservants. 
There's that bit in the book of Exodus when a man takes on 
an additional wife, and I don't want to get into all the ethics 
involved in that, but if a man does take on an additional wife, 
he is not to neglect the cupboards, the closet, or the marriage bed 
of wife number one. It's not to pour his energies 
and efforts into wife number two to the neglect of wife number 
one. If he does take on wife number 
two, and again, there's ethics involved, there's a context involved, 
but the prohibition against that is that he doesn't neglect wife 
number one when it comes to those basic needs. Her cupboards need 
to be filled. She's got to have food. Her closets 
have to be filled. She's got to have clothes. And 
her marriage bed needs to be occupied with her husband. She 
has sexual needs that that man is to meet. Thirdly, the man 
protects her. The man protects her. Proverbs 
chapter 6, he protects his wife. Proverbs chapter 6, and we'll 
look at this in a bit more detail a little later on, but here for 
the specific purpose, notice in verse 34, for jealousy is 
a husband's fury, therefore he will not spare in the day of 
vengeance. And essentially what's happening is that a man commits 
adultery, and when the man commits adultery, the husband of the 
wife is the one spoken of here. For jealousy is a husband's fury, 
therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He protects 
his wife. Jealousy answers to love. If 
there is no love, there is no jealousy. Now, jealousy can be 
obnoxious. Jealousy can be overarching. 
Jealousy can be too comprehensive. Jealousy can be a bad thing. 
But God is a jealous God. Why is that? Because of the way 
that he loves his children, by the way that he loves his people. 
He will truck or brook no competitors in terms of that relationship 
between him and them. They go a-whoring after Baal 
or after Asherah or after the gods of our particular age. The 
Lord our God is a jealous God. He does not brook rivals. And 
that is true in a marriage relationship. A man protects his wife. Notice 
in Proverbs 14. Proverbs 14, specifically at 
verse 11. The house of the wicked will 
be overthrown, but the tent of the upright will flourish. Now 
part of the flourishing of a tent depends in large part upon the 
protection of the tent. Your house, your life, your goods, 
your property, your people, they're not going to prosper unless there's 
a large degree of protection involved. I would suggest, fourthly, 
he communicates well with her. He communicates well with her. 
And there are much more clever preachers that could do a whole 
series of sermons on communication and marriage. That's not me. 
But notice in Proverbs 15.1, a soft answer turns away wrath, 
but a harsh word stirs up anger. If that is the default response 
in your home is a harsh word, you're not loving your wife as 
Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Notice as well, 
Proverbs 16 and verse 24. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, 
sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. You don't cut her 
down. You don't mock her. You don't 
rip her apart in front of the children. That is a horrific 
way to deal with your wife. And then Proverbs 31. Proverbs 
31, a text we saw when we looked at the Christian mother. Proverbs 
31, look at how this man speaks to his bride. Proverbs 31, 28, 
her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, 
and he praises her. Many daughters have done well, 
but you excel them all. He's not afraid to praise her. 
He's not afraid to commend her. He's not afraid to tell her that 
she's doing a good job. He's not afraid to do that because 
he knows that encouragement is absolutely necessary and it's 
absolutely consistent. If you've got a good thing God 
has given you, then you ought to appreciate that and you ought 
to be faithful in your commendation. And then the final thing is that 
he is sexually faithful to her. Notice in Proverbs chapter five. Proverbs chapter 5. Again, a theme picked up by the 
Apostle in 1 Timothy 3. The elder must be a one-woman 
man. He must be sexually faithful. He must exercise fidelity in 
that basic covenantal arrangement. If a man is not faithful in that 
basic covenantal arrangement, then how is he going to take 
care of the Church of God? How is he going to function as 
a gospel minister? Or by extension, how is a Christian 
man going to be proven or entrusted with much when he doesn't handle 
the little that God has given him? If he's not faithful to 
that one he is closest to, then he is going to be compromised. 
Notice in Proverbs 5 at verse 8, or verse 7, Therefore hear 
me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. 
Remove your way far from her. He's talking about the strange 
woman. He's talking about that woman you need to avoid, that 
woman that would disrupt, that woman that does entice, that 
woman that wants to lay with you. He says, remove your way 
far from her and do not go near the door of her house, lest you 
give your honor to others and your years to the cruel one. 
Lest aliens be filled with your wealth and your labors go to 
the house of a foreigner. And you mourn at last when your 
flesh and your body are consumed and say, how I have hated instruction 
and my heart despised correction. I have not obeyed the voice of 
my teachers nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me. I 
was on the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly 
and congregation. Now, just by way of parenthetical observation, 
if your father was profligate, if your father was an infidel, 
if your father was compromised in this, that's the kind of lessons 
that he's gonna pass on to the children in his home. Notice 
the positive encouragement. Drink water from your own cistern 
and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be 
dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them 
be only your own and not for strangers with you. Let your 
fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth. 
As a loving dear and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you 
at all times and always be enraptured with her love. For why should 
you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman and be embraced 
in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before 
the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. His own 
iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the 
cords of his sin. He shall die for lack of instruction, and 
in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray." I don't 
think I have to tell you, brothers, this is a great threat to many 
marriages today. The actual act of adultery, pornography, 
the internet, those things that are often frequented by men, 
professing Christian men. We need to guard our hearts and 
minds. We need to make a covenant with our eyes, the way Job says 
in Job 31. We need to remove our way far 
from her and not go near the door of her house. That's not 
authorization to click. That's not authorization to look. 
That's not authorization to text. That's not authorization to set 
up a meeting. That is a prohibition against 
any sort of thing. So godly husband loves his wife. He sees her as a gift. He provides 
for her needs. He protects her. He communicates 
well with her. And he is sexually faithful to her. Again, look 
at Proverbs 6. Proverbs 6. Notice in verse, we'll just pick 
it up at verse 25. We could start at verse 20, but 
for the sake of time, we'll pick up at verse 25. Do not lust after 
her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. 
For by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread 
and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man 
take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Can one 
walk on hot coals and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes 
into his neighbor's wife, Whoever touches her shall not be innocent." 
Notice, this is adultery. This isn't prostitution. I'm 
not suggesting that prostitution is okay, but what's in view here 
specifically is adultery. The man is committing adultery. 
And he goes on to amplify in verse 30, people do not despise 
a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving. 
Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold. He may have 
to give up all the substance of his house. Whoever commits 
adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own 
soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will 
not be wiped away. Why? We already read it. For 
jealousy is a husband's fury, therefore he will not spare in 
the day of vengeance. In other words, that wounds and 
dishonor the adulterer gets in verse 33 is from the fury and 
the rage coming from the jealousy of the husband whose wife was 
violated. It's going to punch him in the 
nose. He's going to inflict upon him wounds and dishonor. He's 
got a jealous love for his wife. He wants to protect her. He wants 
to support her. He wants to provide for her. 
And here, this man has broached that covenant relationship, and 
he has done a very foolish thing. And I love the intuitiveness 
of, or intuitiveness, there it is, in verse 30. People don't 
despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is 
starving. We get that. Right? We get that. We don't 
condone it. We don't encourage it. And if 
he is caught, he must restore sevenfold. But whoever commits 
adultery with a woman lacks understanding. Why? Because he's supposed to 
protect. He's supposed to provide. He's 
supposed to walk in faithfulness before God and toward his bride. 
He is supposed to see her as a gift and not jeopardize that 
covenant arrangement. And then notice in verse 35, 
he will accept no recompense, nor will he be appeased, though 
you give many gifts. You can't buy him off on that 
one. You're gonna get a punch in the nose. You're gonna get 
a dotted eye. You're gonna get what you've got coming to you, 
wounds and dishonor. Why? Because you breached that 
covenant boundary. So therein lies a Christian husband. He's a godly man. He loves his 
wife. Now, secondly, in terms of the Christian father. I would 
suggest the same with reference to the good father as a godly 
man. He fears the Lord. He deals with his sin. He's committed 
to the Lord. We won't repeat that. But then 
secondly, the good father loves his children. The good father 
loves his children. I mean, it's supposed to be an 
orbit of love, a context of love. It's not mechanistic. It's not 
just put in the quarter and pop out the, well, it's not a quarter 
anymore, a dollar, two dollars, whatever it costs to buy a Coke 
out of a machine. It's not formulaic. It's not 
algorithmic. It's a context of love. The recurring 
emphasis in Proverbs, the constant use of my son shows that filial 
relationship, shows that familiarity. My son, one, eight to 10, two, 
one, three, one, three, 11, four, one, four, 10, four, 20, five, 
one, five, seven, six, one, six, 20, seven, one, and seven, 24. My son, it's familiar, it's loving. It expresses that love. It shows 
and demonstrates that love. It speaks forth that love. There 
ought not to be any question whatsoever in a Christian home 
as to whether or not daddy loves me. That ought to be easily communicated 
and demonstrated in the way that we conduct ourselves. And then 
it will be tangibly followed up by temporal provision and 
spiritual provision. How do we know he loves us? Well, 
he puts food in our pantry, he puts clothes in our cupboards, 
and he takes care of us, he protects us, he watches over us, he provides 
for us. That same emphasis that you see 
there in Proverbs 27, that man who's diligent with reference 
to his herds, that man who is diligent with reference to his 
preparations, what happens? The whole household gets to participate 
in those good things. Notice in Proverbs 13, specifically 
at verse 22. Proverbs 13 at verse 22, a good 
man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but 
the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. A good 
man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but 
the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. Temporal 
provision. Say, well, I don't have that 
kind of money. Well, there should be spiritual provision as well. 
In fact, Bridges expounds on that with reference to Proverbs 
13, 22. He says, and if there is no earthly 
substance to leave, yet a church in the house, a family altar, 
the record of holy example and instruction, and above all, a 
store of believing prayer laid up for accomplishment when we 
shall be silent in the grave will be an inheritance to our 
children of inestimable value. That is blessed. And as fathers, 
we should demonstrate that love with what he calls here a family 
altar, family religion. Because of the whole family integrated 
church thing, I think I'd probably excise the church and the house 
thing. But beyond that, it's perfectly 
wonderful material. It's great. As well, thirdly, 
a good father instructs his children. You've probably heard pagans 
say this, and I think they're right. Yeah, we can use pagans 
even when they're right. Any man can have children, biologically. It's not rocket science. It's 
not splitting the atom. It's not quantum physics. Any 
man can produce children. But a Christian man loves those 
children, and a Christian man rears those children, and a Christian 
man brings them up in the training and the admonition of the Lord. 
You've got the emphasis on that in the Shema. Hear, O Israel, 
the Lord our God, the Lord is one. What do you do with that 
information? Well, you love the Lord your 
God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your 
mind, and with all your strength. And what do you do with that 
information? You pass it on to your children when you rise up, 
when you walk by the way, and when you lie down at night. You 
need to pass on this instruction, the Proverbs, the my son sayings, 
and the indictment of those who reject instruction over and over 
again in the book of Proverbs. And of course, the New Testament 
emphasis in instructing children. Paul says, you fathers do not 
provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training 
and admonition of the Lord. He doesn't just think that, oh, 
everything's going to work itself out in the context of a Christian 
home. No, he's specific, and he tells fathers not to provoke 
their children. He tells fathers not to bring 
them to a state of wrath, but rather bring them up in the training 
and the admonition of the Lord. So the good father is a godly 
man. The good father loves his children. The good father instructs 
his children. And finally, the good father 
disciplines his children. The good father disciplines his 
children. We're going to spend a little bit of time here. Two 
elements are involved. Disciplining children involves 
word instruction, commands, reproof, exhortations, rebukes, and the 
discipline of children involves act. And we'll call that corporal 
punishment with reference to the body. I know it sounds pretty 
severe. But scripture is full of it. Be, as I've said many 
times, wise and prudent. When you exercise these things, 
make sure that you don't jeopardize your place in society and end 
up in prison. I'm not saying don't do it, I'm 
saying do it wisely. But with reference to this, Proverbs 
29.15 lays emphasis on both of these aspects in terms of training 
children. Proverbs 29, specifically at 
verse 15. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left 
to himself brings shame to his mother. The rod and rebuke gives 
wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. I 
think Bridges makes a helpful observation on sort of the ratio 
involved. Word and act. So the word, speaking, 
reproving, exhorting, rebuking, and then the act of, parental 
disciplining of the child. He says, yet, and he's talking 
about the rod, yet let not it be used at all times. Let remonstrance 
be first tried. Our heavenly father never stirs 
the rod with his children if his gentle voice of instruction 
prevail. Continual finding fault, applying 
correction to every slip of childish trifling or troublesome thoughtlessness, 
would soon bring a callous deadness to all sense of shame. Let it 
be reserved, at least in its more serious forms, for willfulness. It is medicine, not food, the 
remedy for the occasional diseases of the Constitution, not the 
daily regimen for life and nourishment. And to convert medicine into 
daily food gradually destroys its remedial qualities." I think 
that's very helpful. It's a good corrective. You should 
be speaking a lot more than you're doing that. I would suggest there 
are, secondly, some governing presuppositions when it comes 
to this whole idea of disciplining children. The home, please hear 
me and understand, the home is the basic fundamental unit for 
the bringing up of children. The church serves a function. 
The church preaches to the children. The church preaches to the parents 
so that the parents then can do what they're supposed to do 
with reference to the children. The state's job isn't to bring 
up your children. It's your job. It's my job. Parents, parents bring up your 
children in the training and admonition of the Lord. That's 
not something you farm out. That's not something you say, 
well, the church is gonna do a great job raising my kids. Don't hang 
that on the church. Please don't ever say the state's 
gonna do a great job raising my kids. Yeah, if you want them 
to be communists and transsexual, they'll do a fine job. They'll 
do a bang up job. It's the task of the parents. The home is the basic unit for 
passing on values. The parents are to be committed 
to the law and gospel. They're to be committed to the 
entirety of God's word. And the reality that folly is 
bound up in the heart, in the child's heart, and that more 
than just words at times is necessary to root it out. Notice in Proverbs 
22, Proverbs 22, specifically at verse 15. Foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive 
it far from him. Foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive 
it far from him. Now you might be wondering, why 
are we doing this? Well, it's Father's Day. I don't 
want to clobber. I don't want to coddle, but I 
want to encourage. Because fathers and mothers, 
what you're doing in your home has a great impact on the future. You either do it well, and it 
has a great impact for good, or you do it unwell, and it has 
a great impact for bad. You're raising future spouses. You're raising future employees. You're raising future leaders. Or you're raising future bums. You're raising children to go 
out into this world to function as adults. And it's our job as 
the adults in the room, to use a common saying, to bring them 
up in the way that they should go. To bring them up with a mind 
that one day as fathers, we're going to give our little baby 
girls away to another man. Are we handing him an albatross 
of our own making? Or as parents, we're sending 
our boys out into the world to find women. Are they going to 
be an albatross? Are they going to be a tyrant? Are they going to be abusive? 
Are they going to be sexually profligate? What we do in terms 
of our home and parental discipline and training of our children 
makes an impact on the future. You cannot just leave a child 
to himself and hope that everything turns out all right. It's kind 
of like taking the newborn baby that's, you know, a little bit, 
got a few months on him and he's able to roll. You know, he's 
kind of getting that place where he can kind of roll. We all like 
that. We like movement. We like to see him do things. 
It's great. Look at it. He did this. But imagine putting 
him in the middle of your bed and it happens to be, you know, 
that high. Well, I'm going to see if he rolls off. That would 
be ghoulish. That would be fiendish. I'm gonna 
just see if he rolls off without, you know, intervening to catch 
him. I like those videos where dads, you know, for the win, 
catch the kid that's falling. It's just pretty amazing. Fathers 
have that built-in protective sort of desire. You wouldn't 
do that. You wouldn't put your baby in 
harm's way just kind of to see what happens. And we do that 
with children all the time. We're gonna just let them make 
their own decisions. No, we're not. What are you crazy? They'll always choose for that 
which is evil. They'll choose that which is 
contrary to Jesus Christ. They'll choose that which is 
consistent with their Adamic nature. They'll choose that which 
is consistent with their deadness in Adam. Of course we're supposed 
to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Of 
course we're supposed to try to shape them. Of course we're 
supposed to try to mold them. Of course we're supposed to, 
dare I say it, indoctrinate them with the truth of God's holy 
word and good biblical theology. We don't just let them do their 
own thing. The way of a man seems right, 
but its end is destruction. Are we gonna foster that mindset? Now, in terms of some specific 
texts in view with reference to child training or parental 
instruction and discipline, I would suggest first the implementation 
of parental discipline must start early. It must start early. 4.3, Proverbs 4.3, when I was 
my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 
he also taught me and said to me, let your heart retain my 
words, keep my commands and live. Notice in Proverbs 19, specifically 
at verse 18. Proverbs 19 verse 18. Chasten 
your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on 
his destruction. Proverbs 20 and verse 11. Even a child is known by his 
deeds whether what he does is pure and right. And then of course, 
Proverbs 22.6, one that we all, I hope, know, train up a child 
in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart 
from it. Listen to Bridget's, Satan begins 
with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first 
stir of the native corruption. Do we begin as early? Every vice 
commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish 
authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before 
the naughty oak is beyond our power. It's just the way it was 
back then. His brothers saw the importance 
of starting early with reference to child rearing and child training 
and discipline. I would suggest, secondly, the 
neglect of parental discipline is ungodly. Look at Proverbs 
13. The neglect of parental discipline 
is ungodly. Now, I get it. Inconsistencies 
abound. The tension is tough. The ability 
to be faithful and steadfast and persevering every step of 
the way, it's hard. So let me always remind you, 
we have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ the 
righteous. And to remind you that you're not gonna go to heaven 
because of your exemplary parenting skills. You're gonna go to heaven 
because of the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. Never forget those 
things. I hope I said that when I was not coddling or clobbering 
the ladies. Never forget, ladies, you're 
not going to enter in because of your exemplary mothering skills, 
but by grace through faith in Jesus. Same with husbands and 
fathers. You don't enter into heaven because 
you're father of the year, or you got the husband of the year 
coffee cup from your wife. That's not why, it's by God's 
grace through faith in Jesus. Now that said and that qualified, 
we need to take seriously as blood-bought children of God 
who are now indwelt by the Holy Spirit, whose conduct is to be 
regulated by the scriptures of both the Old and the New Testaments, 
we need to understand that to neglect something as foundational 
as this, it's not just, I mean, we've looked at a lot of Proverbs 
tonight and we've only scratched the surface. Do you think Solomon 
has a theme, or one of the themes that Solomon has is to encourage 
his sons? He's a king, his sons are kings 
to be. What does he want from them? 
Yes, to function well as sons, to function well in the home, 
but to function well when they take the throne, to function 
well when they take wives, to function well when they take 
or have children. He wants that. He demands that 
by the spirit. So notice in Proverbs 13, 24, 
he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines 
him promptly. And if you were raised in a home 
without discipline, that may have resonated with you at a 
time or two. Why would my parents let me do this? Why would my 
parents let me get away with this? Why would my parents allow 
such conduct? Intuitively, children at times 
know that their parents are being foolish in the way that they're 
bringing them up. Gil says, the sin of old Eli in 1 Samuel 2 
and 3, and both he and his son suffered for it. You remember 
that? Sons of Eli did not know the Lord. How was that expressed? 
Well, they lay with temple prostitutes and they stole sacrifice. Some 
poor slob would come as a worshiper and bring his meat to the tabernacle, 
and these sons of Eli would steal it. They would take it. They 
would take above and beyond what was apportioned to them. It was 
a wretched thing. And God doesn't say, well, you 
know, that's okay, Eli. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 
If you doubt the importance of this, may I encourage you to 
read 1 Samuel 2 and 3 sometime. This was huge. This was big. On the plains of Moab, when God 
says in Deuteronomy 4, 9 and 10, teach your children and grandchildren, 
that's not a suggestion. That's not just kind of a, well, 
if you feel like it, if you've got some time after endless hours 
of paw patrol, then maybe you can give them some teaching. 
No, Samuel rebuked Eli. Eli was judged by God. Why? Because he did not restrain 
his sons. It's that important. Listen to 
Waltke. Loving parents seek to correct 
the faults of their children because, as the preceding units 
showed, their children's lives, favor, protection, healing, dignity, 
and prosperity are at stake. That's it? Listen, he's right. They're to seek to correct the 
faults of their children because as the preceding units showed, 
that doesn't apply necessarily, their children's lives, favor, 
protection, healing, dignity, and prosperity are at stake. 
So I say, you're raising future spouses. You're raising future 
employees. You're raising future employers. You're raising, you know, hopefully 
future brain surgeons or rocket scientists. Do it well. Listen to what Waltke continues. He says, unloving parents turn 
their backs on them and hand them over to death, social ruin, 
public exposure, calamity, and shameful poverty. Proverbs 13, 
14 to 18. He says the failure of the apostate 
Western world to continue the biblical practice has left its 
civilization in moral chaos. Really? Yeah. How do you explain where we're 
at civilizationally? Well, there's probably a lot 
of factors, but has to be top five, top three, terrible parenting. It's just rotten parenting. You know, when kids are losing 
their minds at Walmart and parents are begging them to be quiet 
if I buy you a candy bar, I don't think it was ever meant to be 
that way, brethren. That's not the way I read Proverbs. 
Bribe your kids in the Walmart shopping center, and then you 
will lead them to the paths of righteousness. Buy them Hershey 
bars to shut them up so that they're not an offense to all 
the people there in Walmart. No, that's a poor reading of 
the book of Proverbs. Civilization, that's huge, big 
word, but I don't think he's out of line. The failure of the 
apostate Western world to continue the biblical practice has left 
its civilization in moral chaos. I would suggest thirdly, the 
context of parental discipline is love. Proverbs 3. We saw this 
a bit this morning in our studies in the Confession, with reference 
to God's chastening of his children. We see that emphasis in Hebrews 
12, and the author of Hebrews cites Proverbs 3, 11 and 12. My son, do not despise the chastening 
of the Lord, nor detest his correction. For whom the Lord loves, he corrects, 
just as a father the son in whom he delights. This is an expression 
of love. It's not an expression of hate. 
The expression of hate is the man who spares the rot and allows 
the child to get away with murder. I would suggest, fourthly, the 
usefulness of corporal punishment is highlighted. 2215, we've already 
seen it. Again, some of these texts probably 
make a lot of Christians blush, but it is in the Bible. And if 
the apostle cites Proverbs 3, 11 and 12, and brings it as an 
argument in terms of embracing the parental discipline of the 
father, why wouldn't he bring other Proverbs? Is it just select 
portions of Proverbs that are applicable in the New Testament? 
No. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and it's 
profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and 
for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God, as a father, 
may be thoroughly furnished unto every good work. Notice Proverbs 
22, 15. Foolishness is bound up in the 
heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far 
from him. bridges. It is not the sheet 
of pure white paper, not the innocent or even the tractable 
creature, easily guided by proper means that we have before us, 
but a little heart full of sin, containing all the seeds of future 
evil, multiplying to a fruitful harvest. Notice Proverbs 23, 
13 and 14. Proverbs 23, 13, and 14. I'm telling you right here, 
right now, this is why the child in Walmart's losing his mind. 
It could be a one-off. We've all had bad days. I'm sure 
as parents that have tried and sought to be faithful, you had 
those Walmart episodes and you wish you could go hide behind 
the garden center and nobody would ever be able to identify 
you for being a a terrible and a horrible parent. I think I've 
shared with you before, I was a newly converted Christian, 
and you know, get that zeal, right? And we used to go to the 
laundromat to do our laundry, and I'd always see all these 
little wretched children there. And I thought, you know what 
I'm going to do? Because I love my fellow man, and I want to 
serve them. I got paper, and I typed out all the text dealing 
with child discipline on them from Proverbs. And I happily 
handed it to the parent that was about to tear their own hair 
out when their child was losing their mind. Oh, you know, the 
Bible will help you with that. I'm sure they love that. I'm 
sure they receive that. Oh, thank you, kind sir, for 
setting me straight with my incorrigible little man here. It was just 
offensive. You know, I apologize to anybody 
that I did that to, but I think that's problematic. You don't 
discipline your kids in the home. When you go out of the home, 
they're undisciplined, and they're a nightmare. I shouldn't want 
to have to spank your kid. That's your job. God gave you 
that job, embrace it and engage in it. Proverbs 23, 13, do not 
withhold correction from a child. For if you beat him with a rod, 
he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod 
and deliver his soul from hell. Again, wisdom, caution, judiciousness, 
but scripture is scripture. Bridges says here, it is not, 
or is it not better that the flesh should smart than that 
the soul should die? Oh yeah, absolutely positively. Proverbs 29. 15 and 17, Proverbs 29, 15, the 
rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings 
shame to his mother. Verse 17, correct your son and 
he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to 
your soul. I would suggest fifthly, and 
this from Hebrews chapter 12, the implementation of parental 
discipline is imperfect. It is imperfect. We're not infallible. We're not perfect. We're not 
absolutely spotlessly pure and holy. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to be inconsistent. 
We're going to struggle at times. So I don't want you to be discouraged 
to say, well, I'm not perfect at it, so therefore I'm never 
gonna do it. No, seek by God's grace and by the power of His 
Holy Spirit to implement it in a way that is consistent with 
the revealed will of God. And then a final observation, 
a qualification concerning corporal discipline. A qualification, 
the commitment to biblical child rearing is not abuse, nor should 
it be carried out as if it is abuse. Remember the orbit and 
context of love. Love is the overarching principle. Love is that by which you engage 
in this particular task. Again, Waltke, the cleansing 
rod must be applied with warmth, affection, and respect for the 
youth. It's important, respect for the 
youth. If the criminal, according to 
Deuteronomy chapter 25, is to have his manhood, his dignity 
as one of God's creatures in view when it comes to corporal 
punishment of a criminal offender, then certainly your child deserves 
that respect and to be treated with that dignity as well. So 
the cleansing rod must be applied with warmth, affection, and respect 
for the youth. Warmth and affection, not steely 
discipline, characterized the father's lectures in chapter 
4. Parents who brutalize their children cannot hide behind the 
rod doctrine of Proverbs. There might be a fine line there. 
You need to make sure you navigate it very well. John Eady says, 
the paternal reign is not to be one of terror and stern authority, 
but of love. The rod may be employed, but 
in reason and moderation and never for momentary impulse and 
anger. Children are not to be moved to wrath by harsh and unreasonable 
treatment or by undue partiality and favoritism. If they be uniformly 
confronted with paternal frown and menace, then their spirit 
is broken, and the most powerful motive to obedience, the desire 
to please, is taken from them." This is commentary on Ephesians. That's a beautiful statement. 
We don't want to break or crush their spirit. Do not exasperate 
them. Do not provoke them to wrath. 
Do not hurt them, but rather love them. So in conclusion, 
with reference to men who have wives and children, the book 
of Proverbs is a most helpful instruction or gives most helpful 
instruction to this whole aspect of being a husband and being 
a father. The grace of God and wisdom from 
God are necessary to comply with this material. Right? Just like 
any other portion of scripture, we need God's grace, we need 
God's wisdom in order to understand, uncover, and apply what we find 
in this treasure chest. And then the applicability of 
2813 always stands. Don't cover your sin, don't pretend 
like you never sinned. I think children need to see 
repentance and forgiveness exercised in the home. They need to see 
that. They need to see those gospel 
things. It needs to be a part of the 
fabric in our homes that there is mercy, there is forgiveness, 
there is repentance, there is expressions of faith in the living 
and true God. Then with reference to children, 
pray for them. When I type things in my notes 
like this, it almost hurts me. I shouldn't have to tell brothers 
to pray for their kids. I really shouldn't. But God oftentimes 
tells us things that He has to tell us because we're thick-headed 
and hard-headed and forget things and we don't always prioritize. 
Pray for them. Provide and protect them. 1 Timothy 5.8. If you don't provide 
for your own, you're worse than an infidel. Preach to them. It 
doesn't mean set up a pulpit in the living room and let them 
have it with a three-hour sermon. That's not what it means. But 
teach them the law. Teach them the gospel. Teach them the gospel. 
Teach them the gospel. Teach them about Christ, about 
forgiveness, about mercy. Teach them about the imputed 
righteousness of Jesus received by faith alone. Teach them about 
the law. Teach them the Ten Commandments. 
Teach them those things that God would have for them to know, 
and then be present for them. You've heard that. Well, it's 
all about quality time. Yeah, and quantity time. Take 
them out with you when you do your errands. Take them out with 
you when you paint the fence. Take them out with you when you 
cut the grass. Be with them. There's no substitute 
for quantity time. Now, if you're screaming at them 
for the entirety of the time, then yeah, maybe that's not good, 
but don't do that. And then as I said, the necessary 
encouragement, you and I are not going to heaven because of 
our exemplary skills here, but because of what Christ has accomplished. 
And for young men, young men, prepare yourselves. You spend 
a lot of time thinking about the woman you're going to marry. 
Spend a lot of time thinking about the man you're going to 
be to the woman you marry. A lot of self-preparation, a 
lot of self-medication, a lot of self-help relative to being 
prepared to marry a good and godly woman. and then be diligent 
to find a good and godly woman. I've shared this on many occasions. 
This is John Murray's, I'm sorry, Ian Murray's biography on Jonathan 
Edwards. Quote, not all the children were 
as mild as Jerusha or as obedient as Esther. He's talking about 
Edwards' children. The quick temper of Sarah, the 
eldest daughter, so persisted that according to tradition, 
when her hand was asked in marriage by Elihu Parsons 10 years later, 
Edwards plainly disclosed to him the unpleasant temper of 
his daughter. But she has grace, I trust, asked 
Parsons, to which Edwards replied, I hope she has, but grace can 
live where you cannot. So be very careful in your pursuit. It's a good thing to get married. 
But it's a tough thing to marry unwell. Don't be chomping. Chomping is literally it. I always 
said chomping. Shane pointed out it's actually 
champing. I looked it up, and it is chomping at the bit, something 
that horses do. But I'll still say chomping because 
everybody understands chomping more than champing, and it saves 
you from having to explain. Everybody's chomping at the bit 
to get married. Prepare yourself, and then find one prepared. That 
should just be fundamental. Parents, you have a vested interest 
in your children marrying well. So help them to think clearly. 
Help them by teaching them. Help them by encouraging them 
and praying for them. I love those stories of moms 
and dads who prayed for their babies that they would grow up 
and marry the right person. That's pretty awesome. That's 
the way it ought to be because it's a huge thing to give away 
a child as a spouse, a child as an employee, a child as an 
employer. May I add, child as churchman. 
We want to prepare them for each of these aspects of life that 
they can function in a manner that is consistent with the revealed 
will of God. Well, let us pray. Our Father 
in heaven, we thank you for your word. We thank you for its clarity 
at the point of raising children. Pray for the children and the 
young people and the babies in our church. We thank you for 
each one. Again, we pray for Silas and for Janelle that you 
would bless and encourage them. and strengthen them at this time, 
Lord God. We thank you for your goodness 
to us. We thank you for your mercy. Thank you that you do 
not leave us to ourselves to try to figure out the most difficult 
aspects of our lives. But the scriptures speak to it. 
It is full of doctrine, full of reproof, full of correction, 
and full of instruction in righteousness. So help us to internalize these 
things and bless the families, the young parents, the young 
children, all the families in this local church. May we seek 
by your grace to bring them up in the training and admonition 
of the Lord. And we pray this through Jesus Christ our Lord. 
Amen.