Good evening to everyone. Welcome to the House of the Lord. Just one announcement this evening before we begin worship, and that is the luncheon will be next Sunday. So there will be an email coming this week for what you can bring, if you're able to bring anything.

So again, that's luncheon next Lord's Day. Let's begin our worship then by reading from Psalm 113. Psalm 113, as we begin worship this evening. The Word of God.

Scripture Reading

Praise the Lord. Praise, O servants of the Lord. Praise the name of the Lord. Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.

From the rising of the sun to its going down, the Lord's name is to be praised. The Lord is high above all nations, his glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God who dwells on high, who humbles himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth? He raises the poor out of the dust and lifts the needy out of the ash heap. that he may seat him with princes, with the princes of his people.

He grants the barren woman a home like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord. Let's stand and sing together. Our first hymn is 134. 134.

Let's stand and sing together as a church. through faithful servants of the Lord, who in His house do stand by night and praise Him there with all glory. ♪ Lift up your heads in prayer and draw nigh ♪ ♪ Unto this sanctuary high ♪ ♪ Oh, bless the Lord, health, his need ♪ ♪ And worship him, praise his name ♪ love. From Zion in its boundless love, our God, who heaven and earth give free, who rest beneath Let's go to our God in prayer. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we rejoice in the fact that we can now gather for the worship of the one and only living and true God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

We would pray now, Lord God, that you would help us by your spirit to hallow your name. As we have gathered here for worship, we pray that we would reverence you, We pray that we would have that godly and Christian fear as we approach the high king of heaven and worship in this place and do help us in that worship. We know that we need your spirit to worship you are right to worship you in spirit and in truth. We pray Lord God that you would animate our Christian hearts that we might be filled with the spirit in worship that we might honor you. that we might sing the praises of our triune God, that we might reflect with great joy upon Jesus Christ and the blessed gospel.

We do pray Lord God as we engage in these elements of worship, the reading of the scriptures, the singing of psalms and hymns, the The preaching of your holy word in prayer. We do pray in all these things, Lord God, that you would be honored and glorified, that your people would be strengthened, that you would strengthen us by your spirit in our walk with Christ. We do pray that having here gathered, we would be all the better to go out into the world to preach the Lord Jesus Christ and to shine as lights in a crooked and perverse generation. We thank you, Lord God, that we can have The word, your revelation to the sons of men, a Bible's in our hands.

We know that in many other places throughout the world, those who are Christians of yours do not have this particular honor. So we pray that we would count it a high and heavy honor to be able to gather in liberty unmolested by the outside world and by the government. We thank you that we can be here in this place and worshiping Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We do pray, Lord God, again, that you cause us to have sweet contemplations of the gospel of saving grace as we've here gathered, not because of us, not because of our doings, but because of the doing and dying and rising again of the Son of God.

We pray that you would impress upon us the glories of that gospel, that we would reflect upon so great a saviour who came into this world, sinners to save, that he lived that perfect life of obedience to your law in the stead of all who believe in him, that he died upon Calvary's cross and rendered not an atonement of maybe or perhaps but so died upon calvary's cross that he might perfectly secure the salvation of a multitude which no man can number from every tribe and tongue and people and nation we rejoice in that blessed truth and we rejoice in the truth that on the third day he rose again in power and in great victory and in that is the gospel the doing and dying and rising again of the son of god and we thank you by amazing and victorious grace you have caused a a multitude of people to come from darkness to light, from deadness to life, by virtue of the perfection of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. And we pray again, as we have so gathered, that we would reflect with great joy upon these truths. Do forgive us afresh by virtue of the blood, the shed blood of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. We thank you that when we sin, we do have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ the righteous.

We pray, Lord God, that you would be with those who are in need of prayer, those struggling physically with disease, with injury, with many things that we know who are dear to us in this church and even outside of our church. We pray that you would strengthen them in body, that you would give them confidence and courage as they're affected by the physical man. We pray that in the inner man, you would cause them to rejoice in Christ, to be resigned to your will in all things. to cast their fears upon you and to come to you, not to be anxious in anything, but Through prayer and supplication, mingled with thanksgiving, they would make their requests known to you and find the peace of God. We pray, Lord, that you would be with those who we often hear of and those we do not hear of in the persecuted church throughout this world, where there is much persecution by government and countrymen, where they are persecuted, their churches burned down, where physical assaults are brought upon them and even When many die, Lord God, we do pray that you would be in the midst of these communities of Christians, that you would stir them up, that you would cause them to lay hold of the faith without wavering.

We pray that in the midst of opposition and tyranny and the anger of venomous opponents, that you would Cause them, Lord God, to rest upon you, to be courageous for the Lord, and that they would, in the midst of all these things, with eyes of faith, lay eyes of faith upon the Lord Jesus Christ, ascended at the right hand of the Father, ever living to intercede for his people and to judge his enemies. We pray that they would have much confidence in the King of Kings. We pray for those who rule over us, as we're called to pray, Lord God, for those who are kings and those who are in positions of authority. We do just pray that you would cast down those who rule in wickedness, who call vice virtue and virtue vice.

We pray that you would cast them down, that they might no longer bring violence and impositions upon the people of God and rule in wickedness, and we pray, Lord God, even against hope, that you would raise up those who would rule aright and cause there to be righteousness, equity, and justice in the land. We do pray that you would, Lord God, now again be with us in worship. We long to be those who worship you in spirit and in truth. Please help us to attend unto the preaching of the word as Pastor Butler comes up here in a number of minutes.

We pray that our minds wouldn't wander. It's so easy for them to do so. We pray that you would cause us not to be carried off by wanderings of mind into reflections upon the past week or to think of this evening or to think of the next week, but to now be solely focused upon the worship of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. that we might avail of the preached word and leave this place singing your praises. And do be with Pastor Butler as he opens your word.

We know that ministers rest not upon their own strength, but upon the strength that the triune God affords those who proclaim the gospel. So give him what he needs to open up the word of God and to preach to us richly the things of Jesus Christ, our Savior. And it's in his name that we pray, amen. Let's stand again and sing.

This time it's 158. Let's stand and sing 158 together. All the mercies of the Lord, give me, O give me, give me a kiss, give me pride of all my tears. ♪ That in the world myself can be ♪ ♪ The air I sleep and peace may be ♪ ♪ O may my soul be reborn ♪ ♪ And this peace be mine nine years' worth ♪ ♪ Take that we be born in Christ's name ♪ and because of them, never will we desert thy rest. Oh, powers of darkness, we owe thee.

We'll still sing and never die. There is life above all blessings, Lord, praise him above. For our Old Testament scripture reading, you can turn with me to Deuteronomy chapter 21. So we work through the Old Testament.

That's where we're at now. Deuteronomy chapter 21. We'll read the entirety of the chapter. Once again, this is the word of God.

Reading of Deuteronomy 21

If anyone is found slain lying in the field in the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess, and it is not known who killed him, then your elders and your judges shall go out and measure the distance from the slain man to the surrounding cities. And it shall be that the elders of the city nearest to the slain man will take a heifer which has not been worked and which has not pulled with a yoke. The elders of that city shall bring the heifer down to a valley with flowing water, which is neither plowed nor sown, and they shall break the heifer's neck there in the valley. Then the priests, the sons of Levi, shall come near.

For the Lord your God has chosen them to minister to him and to bless in the name of the Lord. By their word, every controversy and every assault shall be settled. And all the elders of that city nearest to the slain man shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley. Then they shall answer and say, our hands have not shed this blood, nor have our eyes seen it.

Provide atonement, O Lord, for your people Israel, whom you have redeemed. And do not lay innocent blood to the charge of your people Israel. And atonement shall be provided on their behalf for the blood. So you shall put away the guilt of innocent blood from among you when you do what is right in the sight of the Lord.

When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hand and you take them captive and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and desire her and would take her for your wife. Then you shall bring her home to your house and she shall shave her head and trim her nails. She shall put off the clothes of her captivity, remain in your house and mourn her father and her mother a full month. After that, you may go in to tell her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife.

And it shall be, if you have no delight in her, then you shall set her free. But you certainly shall not sell her for money. You shall not treat her brutally because you have humbled her. If a man has two wives, one loved and the other unloved, and they have born him children, both the loved and the unloved of the firstborn son is of her who is unloved.

Then it shall be on the day he bequeaths his possessions to his sons that he must not bestow firstborn status on the son of the loved wife in preference to the son of the unloved, the true firstborn. but he shall acknowledge the son of the unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength, the right of the firstborn is his. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of the city, to the gate of this city. And they shall say to the elders of his city, this son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice.

He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall put away the evil from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear. If a man has committed a sin deserving of death, and he is put to death, and you hang him on a tree, his body shall not remain overnight on the tree, but you shall surely bury him that day, so that you do not defile the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, for he who is hanged is accursed of God.

Amen. Well, just very briefly, two wonderful passages that come together by no happy accident in the book of Deuteronomy that point forward to the Lord Jesus Christ. At the end of that first section, we read in verse eight, provide atonement, O Lord, for your people Israel, whom you have redeemed. And at the close of this particular passage, we have a verse, a section of a verse, a portion of a verse that the Apostle Paul cites in Galatians 3.13. when he says that Christ has become a curse for us, for cursed is everyone who hangs upon a tree.

We have this language at the end of Deuteronomy 21, for he who is hanged is accursed of God. We have this blessed reality of atonement provided by God, and atonement provided by one who was not deserving of death, who did no sin, who was wholly harmless and undefiled, and yet bore the death of sinners having the sin of all those whom the father had given to him and imputed to him, and he was hanged upon a tree as if accursed of God for us. What a beautiful thing that we have in the Bibles, the consent of all the parts and the scope of the whole, which is to bring glory to God through the salvation of sinners. Through this cursed one who hung upon a tree, the innocent Savior who gave his life for guilty sinners.

What a Savior we have in Jesus. Well, let us pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the truth of your word. We rejoice in what you have written to us.

And we thank you that page after page, chapter after chapter, your word points to Christ upon the cross, working out the salvation of men. And we do pray. that you'd help us now as we continue in worship, and specifically in this central act of worship, the preaching of your word, that we would again be found to be in spirit and in truth, worshiping Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And we pray in the name of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, amen. Our final hymn then, before the preaching, we'll stand one more time as a church and sing.

It's 128A, 128A, let's stand and sing together. Oh ♪ And prosper all your days ♪ ♪ For white within your house will be ♪ ♪ A white Israel's abode ♪ Behold, thou shalt come and be blessed, who truly fears the Lord. The Lord from Zion gives you dear. His mercy can be borne. throughout your days.

Jerusalem, prosper well. May through your children's children's tears, peace be on Israel.

Introduction

Well, you can turn with me in your Bibles to Ephesians 5, or Ephesians 6, as we continue to work through Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus. Our focus tonight will be verse 4, as we consider the household code beginning in chapter 5 at verse 22 and concluding in chapter 6, verse 9. So I'll just pick up reading in verse 15 of chapter 5 to remind us of the context. So Ephesians 5, beginning in verse 15.

See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart as to Christ, not with eye service as men pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. And you masters do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him. Amen.

Well, let us pray. Our gracious God, we thank you for your word. We thank you for this wonderful epistle to the Ephesian church. And, by extension, for us here now in the 21st century, we pray that the Holy Spirit would guide us as we consider this passage.

Help us, God, to take seriously your admonitions and your exhortations and commandments for life in our homes, and give us grace, God in heaven, to to go to the Word of God, to go to scriptures, to study them, to see what you say concerning the rearing of our children. And God, we thank you for the rich heritage that you have given to us. We thank you for the many children here. We thank you for the young people.

We thank you for the babies in the wombs. And God, we just rejoice. We know that this is a good thing. The world today says it's a bad thing to continue to have children, to populate the earth, but you have called us to be fruitful and multiply, and we mark this as evidence of your blessedness and of your kindness and of your goodness.

Do forgive us now for all of our sins. Cause us as fathers, as mothers, as parents, grandparents. Give us that remembrance that our salvation is ultimately through grace and faith in Christ, and not ultimately the way that we perform or the way that we obey. But in light of that salvation, help us to implement your truth and to be faithful.

And we ask in the name and for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. Well, as we come to this practical section of the epistle, I think it's important that we don't just look at it as a series of sort of exhortations on behavior modification. In other words, we ought not to forget chapters 1 and 2 when we consider chapters 4 to 6.

If you remember, we have doctrine in chapters 1 and 2, very specifically how we're saved. It is because of God's sovereign grace. He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame. In love, He predestinated us unto adoption as sons.

So before time began, God ordained the salvation of a great multitude that no man can number. In terms of the application of that, you see it specifically in chapter 2, verses 1 to 10. We're saved by grace. We're not saved by works.

We're not saved by our efforts. We're not saved by a mingling of our efforts in Christ's work, but we're saved by grace alone. That's Paul's emphasis in chapter 2, verses 1 to 10. So I've mentioned several times, chapter 3 is a bit transitional.

Paul highlights his role in redemptive history. And then in chapter 4, if you notice in verse 1, it says, I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called. So everything that follows in chapters 4 to 6 are sanctification. It's the consequence of God's saving grace in our lives.

In other words, we're not saved because we have performed the way chapters 4 to 6 tell us to, but we're saved by grace so that we may perform the way that God calls us to. Again, not for salvation, but because we are saved in chapters 4 to 6. And remember specifically Paul's admonition on a walk, our conversation, the way that we conduct ourselves. That's what he says there in 4.1.

I beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called. And then he gives concrete illustration of that in chapter 5. He says we're to walk in love. He says we're to walk in light.

And then he says we're to walk in wisdom. And the walking in wisdom is seen specifically in chapter 5, verses 15 to 21. So being filled with the Holy Spirit is a mark of the wise man. And being filled with the Holy Spirit looks like what he describes after he says, be filled with the Spirit.

He says, those filled with the Spirit will speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. They will sing and make melody in their hearts to the Lord. They will give thanks always for all things to God the Father. And they will submit to one another in the fear of God.

And then that leads naturally to what we see or what we've called the household code. So in 522 to 619, Paul deals with concrete application. What does it look like to walk in love? What does it look like to walk in light?

What does it look like to walk in wisdom when one is filled with the Spirit, submitting to one another in the fear of God? He deals first with the husband and wife relationship, and then he turns to the parent-child relationship, and then he turns to the master-slave relationship. So we're in the child-parent relationship, verses 1 to 4. So last time we considered the child's responsibility in verses 1 to 3, and tonight we pick up the father or the parent's responsibility in verse 4.

So I want to look first at the responsibility of parents in verse 4 and then a description of faithful parents from the book of Proverbs. I think Proverbs is most helpful. We need to approach Proverbs not just as the collected axioms of the godly man Solomon, but Christ as wisdom speaking in his word. So what we find in the book of Proverbs is God's inspired revelation on how we're supposed to function as the blood-bought children of God in the various relationships that we sustain in this present evil age.

Responsibility of Parents (Eph. 6:4)

So first, notice the responsibility of parents. I want to look at first the background, second the prohibition, and then third the exhortation.

Background: The Fifth Commandment

In terms of the background, this is connected to verses 1 to 3. Notice how verse 4 starts off, and you. There is a connection there. This isn't disassociated from verses 1 to 3.

This is strictly connected. So when Paul invokes the rightness of obedience for children in verse one, I argued there that it's a light of nature appeal. It's a general revelation sort of a thing. A child owes obedience to its parents.

That's an axiomatic principle. That's a non-negotiable. Even pagans and heathen have stumbled upon that reality. Children obey your parents, for this is right.

The rightness of the principle is embedded in us as image of God and as well in the created order around us. But it's not only the light of nature, it's special revelation that affirms that and Paul appeals to that in verses 2 and 3. Notice, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. And so when he goes on to say in verse four, and you fathers, I think he means fathers and mothers, though he could just mean fathers, but certainly mothers are involved because they have delegated responsibility in the father's absence.

But with reference to this, I think it's in the context of the fifth commandment, but as well, it's in the context of the light of nature. Everybody ought to realize that fathers ought not to torture their children. Fathers ought not to exasperate their children. Fathers ought not to put a stumbling block before their children.

The rightness of it resonates with even, as I said earlier, heathen and pagan. But specifically the apostle has the fifth commandment in mind. So the scope of the fifth commandment, I think, is well argued by the Westminster larger catechism. In number 124, it says, who are meant by father and mother in the fifth commandment?

By father and mother in the fifth commandment are meant not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts, and especially such as, by God's ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth. So you see, the divines rightly understood the fifth commandment applying to children with reference to their parents, parents with reference to their children, but also in terms of church and in terms of state, the doctrine of superiors and inferiors. The Westminster Larger Catechism in number 129 goes on to say, what is required of superiors toward their inferiors? So last time we looked at the inferior toward their superior.

And I realize in our sort of egalitarian age, those terms are a bit offensive. We don't want to make anybody think they're inferior. We don't want to make anybody think they're superior. Well, that's not how the divines use the language.

It meant those who have greater responsibility over others who had lesser responsibility. So again, in the home, the superior is the parent. The inferior is the child. In the church, you've got church officers.

In the state, you've got governors, you've got kings, you've got those in authority, and we are inferiors relative to them with reference to their particular power. So it says, what is required of superiors toward their inferiors? Answer, it is required of superiors and men And women, this is very applicable to parenting children, it is required of superiors according to that power they receive from God and that relation wherein they stand to love, pray for, and bless their inferiors. In other words, the reason you're a superior over the inferiors is not to exploit them, it's not to hurt them, it's not to walk roughshod over them, it's not to keep them down, but rather it is for their benefit, it is for their profit, it is for their well-being. to love, pray for, and bless their inferiors, to instruct, counsel, and admonish them, countenancing, commending, and rewarding such as do well, and discountenancing, reproving, and chastising such as do ill, protecting and providing for them all things necessary for soul and body, and by grave, wise, holy, and exemplary carriage to procure glory to God, honor to themselves, and so to preserve that authority which God has put upon them.

So, in other words, when God gives authority in these certain contexts, whether it be in the family, whether it be in the church, or whether it be in the state or commonwealth, as the divines say there, it's not to be abused. It's not to be tyrannical. It is not to be despotic. It's not to be with an iron fist.

Rather, it is in the context of love with the desire to see the inferior grow and be healthy and be strong and be stable and be secure. We have a perversion of authority in all levels of God-given institutions today. We see perversion in the family. We see it in the church.

We certainly see it in the commonwealth when men who are simply governors or elected officials function as kings and queens. There is a need to get back to what does scripture say concerning the role of superiors and inferior. So the background is the fifth commandment. We see that and you fathers connected to verses 2 and 3.

The Prohibition: Do Not Provoke

Now in terms of the prohibition, it's simple. You fathers do not provoke your children to wrath. Pretty simple, right? Now again, we can argue that mothers are included in there.

Doesn't mean fathers don't provoke your children to wrath, but mom, you go ahead. You chase them all over the house, you scream at them, you throw things at them, you do all kinds of things to just excite those passions. No, no, no, that's not it at all. Fathers and mothers.

Again, you see the connection in verses one to three. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, and then honor your father and your mother. So when this commandment or this exhortation comes to fathers, it includes mothers, and it's very simple. Do not provoke them to wrath.

Don't mess with them. Don't stir up those negative passions. Don't do those things that are going to cause them consternation in their life. Why would you want to do that?

Now, we all have remaining corruption, and there might be that time where, you know, we sin and we do those things, but as the overarching principle, as superior to an inferior, the desire and the design ought to be to promote their well-being. So, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. This is the simple prohibition. Now, what are some of the ways that we can do this?

Now, I didn't read a book here. I mean, I've read commentary. Some of this is unfortunately experiential. So, you know, sometimes the School of Hard Knocks is the best teacher with reference to these particular things.

Ways Parents Provoke Their Children

I would suggest first the presence of unrighteous anger can provoke a like response from your children. Do not provoke your children to wrath. Well, how can we do that? By having our own wrath that isn't governed properly, that isn't righteous.

Turn back for just a moment to Ephesians 4 and verse 26. We're told there, be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Paul seems to envision that there are instances and occasions where persons can be angry and not sin. In fact, we have two instances in the Gospel account of our Lord Jesus Christ.

One concerns Sabbath wars when the Pharisees were upset because Jesus was going to heal a man on the Sabbath day. It says that He looked at them with anger. As well, in John chapter 2, when Jesus is cleansing the temple, He's not got a big smile on His face. He's not prancing around as He's flipping tables over and as He's driving out the beasts.

There is a sense where one can be angry and not sin. Now, to pursue and find that is most certainly a challenge, but God is angry with the wicked every day, and He doesn't sin. So, it's not the case that as parents you're never going to get angry with your children. If you've had children for like 30 seconds, well, not really when they're that little, give it till they're 15.

And, well, even much, much sooner than that. There is a sense where you get angry. But this uncontrolled, undisciplined, sinful anger is something that is calculated to provoke anger in response on the part of your children. I would suggest, secondly, the implementation of unbiblical discipline.

We're going to end on that note tonight. I've often thought this is the children's least favorite sermon in the year, because it ends on child discipline. But children, may I just say that this is a very important thing. If you are an undisciplined child, you're gonna be an undisciplined adult.

And ask any undisciplined adult if that's a happy life. It's not a happy life. The way of the transgressor is hard. Discipline helps to mitigate that hardness, that discipline helps to form, and that discipline helps to bring you to a place where you're a functioning, decent member of society.

But the implementation of unbiblical discipline, You're not authorized to torture your children. You're not authorized to mock them. You're not authorized to make fun of them. You're not authorized to hurt them in an ungodly way.

John Eady said, the paternal reign is not to be one of terror and stern authority, but of love. The rod may be employed, but in reason and moderation, and never from momentary impulse and anger. Children are not to be moved to wrath by harsh and unreasonable treatment or by undue partiality and favoritism. So this use of unbiblical discipline is calculated to promote wrath on the part of your children.

I would suggest, thirdly, the problem of inconsistency. Often thought after sermons like this, the parents will impose a reign of terror for the coming week. We need to get back the ground that we have sacrificed and lost. At least that's what happened to us when we were young parents and we had little kids.

You know, you get into patterns of inconsistency. You don't discipline as you ought. And then Pastor Barcelos would preach from Colossians 3 or Ephesians 5. We'd get home and say, okay, that's it.

It's over. You're done. There's a new sheriff in town. Well, that sort of inconsistency can promote wrath.

It can provoke the child to wrath. The problem of inconsistency, inconsistent application of love. It's always supposed to be the orbit of love. You're always supposed to be loving towards your children, even when you're angry, even when you've got to discipline.

That's not done out of the context of hate, you do it out of love. As well, inconsistency with reference to discipline. You need to be faithful. This is a tough lesson for parents to imbibe, but this is the lesson we're called to imbibe from Jesus speaking to us in the book of Proverbs.

We're supposed to be faithful and consistent with the discipline of our children. And then I would suggest attention, inconsistency with attention. I think that Edy touches on that when he says, by undue partiality and favoritism. Jacob didn't do the family any good when he favored Joseph.

I know there's a lot going on in the Joseph narrative. I know there's a lot of wickedness in the hearts of the brothers. I know all that. But all things being equal, Jacob didn't help the family situation when Joseph was his pride and joy.

And then when Joseph gets the vision from God and he comes back, what does it do? It simply outrages and incenses the brothers. And again, I'm not saying the brothers were the victims in that story. That's not it at all.

But there is an undue partiality or favoritism that can provoke the other children to wrath. It's not going to provoke the one you're favoring. It's not going to provoke the one that you give all this attention to. But if that one has siblings, guess what's going to be the possible effect upon their young psyche?

I would suggest as well the imbalance with reference to law and gospel. Of course we preach the law to our children. Of course we tell them, don't steal. Of course we tell them, don't lie.

Of course we tell them, yes, we're going to church. Of course we tell them, no, you're not supposed to worship Baal. We certainly speak the truth of God's law, but not to the neglect of God's gospel. How do you know your sin and misery?

The law of God tells me so. Use the law that way to show your children the need for the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. But having taught them the gospel, if by grace they confess faith in the gospel, then teach them law. Well, not then, always, because they've got to maintain that non-stealing of things and non-lying about others.

So those are just some ways, and I'm sure if you're a parent that's been at it any time, you could probably add to that list quite a bit. I could too, but we don't want to be here all night.

The Exhortation: Bring Them Up

And then from the prohibition, we then have finally, under the responsibility of parents, the exhortation in verse 4b. So you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. See, that's gospel sanctification, or sanctification which is the consequence of justification. When you read the Bible, when you read sanctification passages, it's never just put off.

Just stop doing that. No, in its place, do something good. Right? Go back to chapter 4.

You see that very vividly displayed. Verse 25, Therefore put away lying. Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. So don't just not lie, but positively speak the truth.

Notice in verse 27, I'm sorry, verse 28, let him who stole steal no longer. Right? Good counsel, Paul. We need to stop stealing.

If that's part and parcel of our life before Jesus, then we need that admonition to stop stealing. But that's not where he stops. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need. So the dynamic of sanctification that we find in the New Testament and the Old Testament as well is to put off and to put on.

Romans 13, 14, put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its loss. So not only are you not supposed to provoke your children to wrath, but positively this is the exhortation. You're to bring them up. You're to nurture them.

You're to train them in the training and admonition of the Lord. Now there is first an emphasis on action. That's that bring them up in the training. That's the external, outward sort of action emphasis.

It simply means education, child training, discipline. And then you have an emphasis upon the word. So bring them up in the training, action, and admonition, word of the Lord. And word here simply means encouragement or reproof.

You've probably heard the terminology, newthetic counseling. Well, it comes from this particular Greek word, this idea of admonition, this idea of exhortation, this idea of encouragement and reproof. So there is the action, training, there is the word, admonition, and then there's the orbit of the Lord. Of the Lord means that Christian parenting, this is going to be profound, is Christian parenting.

In other words, you do this with reference to the Lord Jesus Christ. You do this for Him. You do this by His instruction. You do this to Him.

In other words, your children are not ultimately yours. They are your stewardship, but everything ultimately belongs to God the Lord. Now, they're yours versus the state's. I didn't mean that, I meant that they're not all together yours.

God owns everything and God has called you to steward in a faithful way. And so that faithful way means to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Deuteronomy 6, 4-7 captures both of these sentiments, I think, very well. So you've got Israel's central confession of faith in verse 4.

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And then the response to that central confession of faith. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. See the beautiful consistency between the Old and the New Covenants relative to God's design for parenting. In other words, God wants His image bearers well looked after. If God has blessed you and opened the womb and given you a legitimate issue and has blessed you, it is your responsibility, my responsibility, to take those gifts, to treat them as gifts, and to put into practice the things that God calls us to and not to use them for our own sinful desires.

Faithful Parents in Proverbs

Now that brings us then to the book of Proverbs, the description of a faithful father, specifically, and again, including mothers. If you turn to the book of Proverbs, I want to let you just indicate four things about a good father, faithful father.

First Mark: A Godly Parent

The first is that the faithful father is a godly man. The faithful father and mother are godly people, they're godly parents. Proverbs 1, verse 7, Notice in 2.5, Chapter 3, verse 7, Do not be wise in your own eyes, but fear the Lord and depart from evil. Chapter 9, verse 10, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Chapter 14, verse 26. 1426, in the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence and his children will have a place of refuge. 1533, the fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom and before honor is humility. And then of course, 2813, whoever, he who hides his transgression or covers his transgression will not prosper. The one who confesses and forsakes it will find mercy. So parents, in order to faithfully parent, you need to first and foremost be faithful to God.

It's a sort of Matthew 6.33 thing. I want to be a good father. I want to be a good mother. What do you think's the first priority?

Read Dr. Spock. Most of you don't probably know who Dr. Spock is anymore, but in our youth, he was a guru, probably before our time, but you get these books on parenting and all that sort of thing.

I'm not suggesting all that's necessarily bad. I would put it far behind Proverbs, but your first orientation is to God. Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then these things will be added to you. In other words, maintaining fidelity before the Lord is the primary requisite for every other action in life.

I always look at life as a priority structure. If you're a man, you're a man before God first. And then you're a husband to your beloved. Then you're a father to your children.

Then you're a grandfather to your grandchildren. Not grandfather to grandfather. Then you're a worker. Then you're a citizen in the body politic.

We have a marching order. We have a priority structure in our lives. Same with women. You're a woman before God.

You're a wife to your husband. You're a mother to your children, a grandmother to your grandchildren. Those are the things that we ought to be thinking about. So if we're not faithful as a man, how are we going to be faithful as a husband?

If we're not faithful as a man, how are we going to be faithful as a father? If we're not faithful as a man, how are we going to be faithful as a grandfather? This is Paul's argument for the office of elder in the context of the church of the Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Timothy chapter 3, a man must be able to rule his own household well. Why?

Because if he doesn't rule his own house, then how can he steward the church of God? It's an argument from the lesser to the greater. If you mess up at that level, we're not going to unleash you on the church. Paul's logic is impeccable.

And so the primary obligation or primary responsibility to good and faithful parenting is good and faithful living before the Lord God Most High.

Second Mark: Love for Children

Secondly, the faithful father loves his children. Again, brethren, this, pagans get this, right? I mean, how do you not look at that little bundle of joy and not love him or her? I'm not using that in modern, you know, are we concerned about which, it could be a boy, it could be a girl.

How do you not? This is a light of nature concern. What father doesn't love his children? I know there's beasts out there that abuse and torture and engage in all kinds of wickedness, but the general overarching rule is that people love their children.

And Christian fathers, Christian mothers should be animated by that principle of love relative to their children. There is a recurring emphasis in the book of Proverbs, the constant use, the constant refrain by Solomon, my son. What does my son suggest? It suggests intimacy.

It suggests connection. It suggests love. Over and over again, he appeals to his son. Chapter 1, verses 8 to 10.

Chapter 2, verse 1. Chapter 3, verse 1. Chapter 3, verse 11. Chapter 4, verses 1, 10, and 20.

Chapter 5, verses 1 and 7. Chapter 6, verses 1 and 20. Chapter 7, verses 1 and 24. It indicates the loving nature of the relationship between a father and his children.

Again, brethren, you can argue for discipline, you can argue for admonition or instruction, but it's not done by a machine. It's not done by, well, I've got to check off this list today, child, so sit down. I'm going to give you three Bible verses, give you three swats, send you on your way. It's born out of love.

You love this kid. You want the best for this kid. Everything about you is ready to sacrifice for this kid. You're willing to die for the kid, and if necessary, willing to kill for the kid.

And we see that in nature as well, don't we? We see animals protect their young. We see people, or animals, do things that more people should do. We should have more concern, more love, more desire for children.

This is something that has been increasingly more popular today. All the gurus of this age talking about depopulation. God says it's a positive good. It's a positive benefit.

It's a positive blessing to be fruitful and multiply. It's anti-Christian sentiment that comes along and says, well, no, we've got to reduce the number of people. Reduce the number of people? People are a blessing.

God created the world to people it. That's what he did it for. He didn't create the environment so we would bow down to it. We're not supposed to worship and serve the creature.

We're supposed to worship and serve the Creator. And the Creator has said, go out and be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth. It's a blessing and a benefit.

And by the way, I'm going to put a bunch of oil right in that earth. so I can power the world for you, so that you can increase, so that you can abound. I'm going to give you wisdom such that men can make air conditioning. You'll be able to live in deserts. I'm going to give men wisdom so that they'll be able to figure out irrigation systems.

No shout out to the present workers there, but I'm going to equip the earth in such a way that it yields its bounty to you. It's a beautiful arrangement. So it's anti-Christian when men come along and say, well, we got to depopulate. No, we don't.

That is contrary to the word of the living and true God. We ought to love children, not kill children, not endorse the cutting off of children's parts. We ought to endorse the rearing of them in the training and admonition of the Lord God Most High. They are wonderful.

Now in terms of this love to children, it's borne out in two ways. First, temporal provision. 1322 in the book of Proverbs. 1322, temporal provision. In other words, it's your job to feed them. It's your job to put shoes on their feet.

It's your job to give them a jacket when it's five degrees out. It's your job to have a roof over their heads. That's an indicator of love. And children, may I say, that's an indicator of love.

My dad doesn't always do this, that, and the other. Yeah, but he's out there working constantly to make sure you've got lights, to make sure you've got shoes, to make sure you've got some sort of vittles to put down your throat. That's an indicator of love. It's a good thing.

It's a positive. It's a benefit. Notice in 1322, a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. Turn over to 27, Proverbs chapter 27.

Again, the man is admonished to make sure that he's able to provide for wife and children. We've dealt with providing for wife. also includes providing for children. Any children that flow from you and your wife's union, your job and your responsibility in the context of love is to make sure that they have heat, to make sure that they have water. Notice in Proverbs 27 at verse 23, he says, For riches are not forever, nor does a crown endure to all generations.

When the hay is removed and the tender grass shows itself, and the herbs of the mountains are gathered in, the lambs will provide your clothing, the goats the price of a field. You shall have enough goat's milk for your food, for the food of your household, and the nourishment of your maidservants. What does that mean? It means what Paul says in 1 Timothy 5, verse 8.

If any man does not provide for his own, he's worse than an infidel. He's worse than an unbeliever. This isn't godly. It isn't righteous.

It's not holy. Well, you know, I'm just not measured up to my gifts and my abilities. Go flip burgers. Whatever puts a roof over your head, keeps a coat on your kid's back, whatever's lawful under God, is certainly an option.

So the temporal provision, but as well spiritual. I'm going to argue at the close that you need to pray for your children. You need to bring your children to church. You need to set up a family altar and instruct the children from the word of God.

You need to do the Deuteronomy 6 thing. When you rise up, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, what are you talking about? You're talking about the Lord. You're talking about His handiwork and general revelation.

You're talking about mathematics that ultimately comes from God. You're talking about the various things that the Lord has given. As the Lord God of truth, you're teaching your children those things. But with reference to the spiritual provision, listen to Bridges on Proverbs 13, 22.

We just read it. I'll read it again. And I think Bridges has a perceptive statement. So a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children.

That might present a little bondage. Well, you know, it's tough. The economy's tough. I think the economy was probably tough then, too.

I mean, you know, that's kind of the thing. Yeah, there's been other tough economies. I think that's part of the challenge, is to try to figure out the endgame around the tough economies, right? You cut corners where you can, you turn off the lights, you tell your kids, you know, you can't. bask in hot water for 20 minutes, show them an electric bill once in a while, and tell them what it costs, and hopefully it resonates with them, but there's always been tough economies.

But there are tough economies, and so Bridges makes this observation. He says, if there is no earthly substance to leave, yet a church in the house, a family altar, the record of holy example and instruction, and above all, a store of believing prayer laid up for accomplishment, when we shall be silent in the grave, will be an inheritance to our children of inestimable value." That's a great application in terms of the spiritual. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. That's what we often say.

We want a church here and, you know, a couple more generations. These babies in the womb, when they grow up and they get married, wouldn't it be great if they're at the Free Grace Baptist Church and Chilliwack on Wellington? That'd be great. It'd be wonderful.

That's what we should have in our view in terms of going forward.

Third Mark: Instructing Children

Thirdly, a faithful father instructs his child. A faithful father and mother instructs their children. Any parents biologically can produce children. This isn't simply a Christian thing, right?

You can take the two dumbest people on the face of the earth, give them a night away, and they can produce children. But that's not what Paul is telling us. Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. A godly man evangelizes his children and trains them in and for the Lord.

That's the emphasis that you find. You've got, again, the Shema in Deuteronomy 6, 4 to 9. Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and you shall teach these things diligently to your children.

We've got the various my son sayings in Proverbs, as I've already alluded to, and then the indictment of those who reject parental instruction. The guy that Solomon speaks of in the book of Proverbs that doesn't listen to his parents, he's not the hero in the book. He's not the wise guy. Well, he is a wise guy, but he's not the wise man.

He's not the star of the show. He's the negative example of the fool that hardens his neck to good parental instruction. And then, of course, our New Testament emphasis here in Ephesians 6, 4, and then the parallel in Colossians 3, 21. Now, I'm not suggesting that you need to have family worship that's an hour and a half, and you construct a little pulpit in your living room, and the children all sit there silently, and they've all got their hymn books, and you give them a three-point sermon and four points of application, and now it's time to go brush your teeth and get in bed.

I'm not suggesting that. If you're so inclined and they want to deal with it, great, go ahead. But, some sort of instruction. There are the informal, when you rise up, when you walk by the way, when you lie down at night.

There's the informality. There's the pointing them to God's creation. There's the pointing them to God's gospel. But then there are formal times of instruction.

Remember, you know, give me the Ten Commandments, recite the books of the Bible. What is justification by faith? These are things that you want to try to inculcate in your children. Remember, it's in the training and admonition of the Lord.

If they have a propensity to go on to fix refrigerators and you can't do that, That's okay. But you should be able to pass on the doctrine of justification by faith alone. You should be able to give them at least a rudimentary understanding of the triune God. You should be able to emphasize the divinity and humanity of our Lord Jesus Christ.

You ought to be able to see the connection between, but the difference between, the law and the gospel. The law is not the gospel. The gospel is not the law. But they are inextricably connected in terms of law leads to Christ.

Christ then sends you back to law. So those things are things that ought to be taught to the children. Bring them up in the training and admonition, the encouragement, the admonition, the reproof of God's holy word.

Fourth Mark: Disciplining Children

And then that brings us finally to the faithful father or faithful parents discipline their children. So remember the two elements involved. Discipline of children involves word. That's discipline as well.

When you instruct, when you command, when you exhort, when you rebuke, when you reproof. Those things are disciplinary in nature. It's discipleshipping. It's giving them that formative sort of grounding in scripture.

But then there is the discipline that involves act. And the Proverbs are not silent here. Again, brethren, this is just based out of personal experience and observation. We've got a problem in society today.

We have a big problem in society today at the level of superiors and inferiors. We've got a big problem at the level of inferiors responding to their superiors in a way that God commands. What's God say when an old man enters into a building? You rise up in the presence of a hoary hat.

I mean, you probably see, like I do, on social media, you know, guys on a train, and they won't give up a seat to a pregnant woman. That's just bestial behavior. I mean, like, guys, train your sons to defer, to open doors, to give a, you know, the seat to the old lady that's hunched over. I don't know what happened.

I guess the further we slide into depravity and wretchedness and wickedness, this is gonna be symptomatic of it, a generation where there's just no decency whatsoever. So the act of disciplining your children, again, born out of love, out of a desire for their well-being, Solomon's not silent here. First of all, we have the emphasis in Proverbs 29, 15. You can turn there.

Just one statement, just sort of an overarching thought. Proverbs 29.15. And both elements are here. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Isn't that just so simple and profound and sublime all at the same time? It's just, it's amazing. Do you ever see those videos where guys are fighting each other on a subway car? If you were mom or dad and you were watching that on the news, would you go, well, that's my boy.

I'm sure proud of him. No. You'd say, what is he doing? Why is he fighting on a subway?

Now, if he's defending the weak, great. He's making sure a pregnant woman gets a seat, awesome. But if they're just dummies fighting on a subway car, what parent in their heart just rejoices at the good job they've done? You see, Solomon speaks like a real man to real men.

The rod and rebute give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. You mean that's actually sort of motivation in terms of child behavior that they not shame their mothers? Yes, absolutely. You're not supposed to bring a blight upon the family name.

That's a good sort of impetus for you to go out and not act like a knucklehead. That is okay. But then notice the two elements, the rod and rebuke. The rebuke is the admonition of the Lord.

The rod is the act, it's the training, it's the paideia. Now Bridges here again, specifically on not only using the rod. So you can get imbalanced. This is another way to provoke your children to wrath.

The overarching tendency in the book of Proverbs is on reproof. I'm not suggesting not Rod, Rod is there. Rod is sort of the biblical nomenclature for some sort of corporal punishment, some sort of causation of a degree of pain, not abuse, not torture, not send them to the emergency because you had a fit of rage, but some sort of corrective discipline applied. As I said, the reproof seems to be the overarching concern and that's what Bridges speaks to here.

He says, yet let it not be used at all times, talking about the rod. Let remonstrance first be tried. Our Heavenly Father never stirs the rod with His children if His gentle voice of instruction prevailed. There's sort of a hierarchy here, right?

Try to win them with words. Try to admonish them, correct their behavior with encouragement. If that wins them, then no need for the rod, right? That's what he's saying.

He goes on to say, continual fault finding, applying correction to every slip of childish trifling or troublesome thoughtlessness would soon bring a callous deadness to all sense of shame. Let it be reserved at least in its more serious forms for willfulness. It is medicine, not food, the remedy for the occasional disease of the Constitution, not the daily regimen for life and nourishment. And to convert medicine into daily food gradually destroys its remedial qualities.

In other words, out of the context of love, reprove, admonish, exhort, encourage, rebuke. But if that does not, I don't want to say work, because that's probably not the best way to look at it, but if it doesn't work, then God has given you the rod. Now in terms of some governing presuppositions, I realize this is a hot topic. Biblical discipline is not child torture.

Biblical discipline is not child abuse. Now, our modern culture interprets it this way. So may I just encourage you to be very wise, to be very, very wise, to be very, very cautious that you don't get arrested or brought up on charges for whooping your child. You've got to be able to obey the Bible in whatever context you live in.

But as Jesus says, we need to be wise, cunning as serpents, and we need to be gentle as doves. We need to be able to navigate in a hostile environment, obeying God's words, and I think that requires a great degree of judiciousness and wisdom. But in terms of just some overarching reminders, the home is the basic or fundamental place for passing on values. Turn back to the section of scripture that Cam read for our scripture reading this evening.

I was wondering if he was gonna comment on verses 18 to 21. But in 18 to 21, we see something of this. Now, this is an extreme sort of a situation, and it's dealing with an adult rebel son. We know that because two-year-olds aren't gluttonous and drunkards.

But notice in verse 18, if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, See, in this instance, delivering him up to the elders in the city is the last resort. What's the supposition? The family, the parents have exercised this discipline in the context of the home. So if a man has a stubborn and a rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them, Then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city.

And they shall say to the elders of his city, the son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones.

So you shall put away the evil from among you and all Israel shall hear in fear. That last bit is not really relevant because I'm not suggesting that, but I am suggesting that the parental exercise of chastening and reproof took place in the home. That's the fundamental. That's the foundational orbit for child training.

They're not products of the state. We don't share the job with the civil government. It is the job of the parents. As well, the parents are committed to the law of God and the reality, again, governing presupposition, that folly is bound up in the child's heart and that more than just words at times is necessary to drive it out.

Solomon says that, Proverbs 22, 15. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it from him. I think the simple principle is consequences for bad behavior.

I know that seems so counterintuitive. You mean we shouldn't just let people in California shoplift up to $950 every day? We should just let people do that all the time and somehow think that's going to help society? No, there needs to be consequences.

There needs to be negative sanctions. God's word is filled with that. And again, be judicious, be wise, make sure that you're operating in a manner that is consistent with overarching Christian wisdom. But in terms of some specific texts in Proverbs, we've got Proverbs chapter four.

We see that it begins early. Proverbs chapter four, specifically at verse three. Again, this isn't the rod aspect, but it's the training. Proverbs 4.3, when I was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me and said to me, let your heart retain my words, keep my commands and live.

Get wisdom, get understanding, do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her and she will preserve you. Love her and she will keep you. Wisdom is the principle thing, therefore get wisdom.

He says, when I was a little guy, I was just a little kid and my father would instruct me in these things. You can see similarly 1918, 2011, and 2026. Bridges makes the comment, Satan begins with the infant in arms. The cry of passion is his first stir of the native corruption.

Do we begin as early? Every vice commences in the nursery. The great secret is to establish authority in the dawn of life, to bend the tender twig before the knotty oak is beyond our power. Again, it's sort of intuitive.

You've got these children. God's given them. He's also given you a book. He said, you know, you've got the Holy Spirit now.

You've been justified freely by my grace. Here's what I want. I don't want you to provoke them to wrath. I want you to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Well, how do I know what that means? Well, I've given you the book of Proverbs. Go to the book of Proverbs and it gives you that instruction. Do it early, do it consistently, do it faithfully, do it prayerfully, but do it.

Reprove them, correct them, teach them, and instruct them. We see in the Bible that the neglect of corporal punishment is ungodly. Remember the case of Eli? Eli in 1 Samuel chapter 2 and 3.

He had two sons that were priests. And the problem with these two sons is in 2.12. It says they did not know Yahweh. That doesn't mean they didn't have a cognitive understanding that Yahweh was the God of Israel.

They didn't know him experientially. What did that lead to with them? They lay with temple prostitutes and they stole sacrifices. You would be a worshiper, you'd bring your meat to give it up to God, and what would they do?

They'd take a prong or a fork and throw it in there, pull it out, and they would take that home and eat. You know what that did to the worshiper? It caused them to despise the offering of God. Why should I bring my offering to God if these two low-life priests are going to just grab it and take it and go home and eat?

So these guys were wretched. They were bad. So when God speaks to Samuel, it's first and foremost to deal with Eli. And in 3.13, God says, I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile and he did not restrain them.

What's the implication? He should have restrained them. He should have exercised that parental discipline over his children. So you've got train early, you've got train consistently, you've got neglect the training of it is ungodly, and then as I mentioned earlier, and I want to end here before some practical thoughts, the necessary qualification is be wise, be judicious.

Waltke says, the cleansing rod must be applied with warmth, affection, and respect for the youth. Warmth and affection, not steely discipline, characterize the father's lectures. Parents who brutalize their children cannot hide behind the rod doctrine. of Proverbs. This is not abuse.

It's not torture. It's not designed to break the will of your children or break the back of your children, but to form their will so that they don't continue in willfulness.

Application

Well, in conclusion, just a few exhortations for the brothers and the mothers, or brothers and the wives. The book of Proverbs, along with the New Testament epistles, are very helpful here. Very helpful. And again, it's not just a collection of maxims that Solomon sort of observed.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God. The Spirit of God is speaking to us in the Proverbs. The Spirit of God is speaking to us as parents in the book of Proverbs. We need to listen.

So the book of Proverbs is most helpful. The grace of God and wisdom from God are necessary, ultimately, to comply with this material. And as well, never forget Proverbs 28, 13. If you cover your transgression, if you hide it, you're not going to prosper.

I think godly parenting at times looks like godly parents confessing their own sins to their children. I messed up. I shouldn't have done that. That was wrong.

Oh, well, that'll show my weakness. Well, that's good. They need to see that once in a while. It will show your need for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It will show your need and dependence upon the blood of the lamb. That's always a good lesson to communicate to fellow sinners, and in the context of the home, it's valuable. Now, with reference to children, I would suggest that we pray for them. That should just, again, be a no-brainer.

If dogs could pray, they'd pray for their puppies. If cats could pray, they'd pray for their kittens. It's just built in. You just love the spawn.

And as a result, you pray for them so that they'll turn out in a way that is pleasing and glorifying to God. Pray for them. Provide for them. 1 Timothy 5.8. Protect them.

Protect them. That's a big one today, because there's a lot of sort of competing interests for your children. And oftentimes it comes through that cell phone, or it comes through that internet. You need to protect them.

You need to preach to them. Again, you don't necessarily need to put a pulpit in your living room, but preach law and gospel to them. And I would suggest as well, be present for them. Now, I know brothers, sisters, there's a lot of hard work in here, and that's a blessing.

It's a good thing, a hard work ethic, right? But you've heard that, well, it's not about quantity time, it's about quality time. Eh, it's quantity, too. Bring them when you paint the fence.

Bring them when you clean the garage. Make them help you clean the garage. Quantity time, spend time with your children. Again, if dogs could do this and they had their pups, they would.

This is just a no-brainer. This is inherent in us as people who have little children. We want to be with them. And then I would suggest to young men.

I would suggest if you're a young man or a young woman looking for somebody of the opposite sex in which to marry, I would suggest first the need to prepare yourself. This kind of visits back to what we did in Husbands and Wives. There is a biological factor. You can produce children.

I mean, all things being equal, God has made us in such a way that biologically, male and female coming together can produce children. But there's more to Christian parenting than just producing children, just contributing the necessary DNA to make another human being. As well, there is a soteriological reality. We cannot save our children, but we can certainly use the means that God's ordained to bring them into contact with our blessed Savior.

Bring them to church, bring them to the family altar, preach them the truth of God's holy word, God's holy gospel. And as well, with reference to theology, the father should impart wisdom to children on how to function in God's world. I saw a funny meme on on Twitter, and I sent it to my son, he's an accountant, and it said something to the effect that, I'm so glad that in school they taught me about parallelograms and not taxes. It really helps me during this busy parallelogram season.

Kind of funny, right? When you were a kid, you said, what use does this have? You were probably right. I'm sorry, but a lot of stuff that we learned as kids, much better to learn about debt, about mortgages, about taxes, about hard work, about showing up on time, you know, real practical stuff like walking and chewing gum, that would be much more profitable than probably half of the curriculum taught in status schools today.

So fathers understanding that, Teach your kids good stuff. That's a blessing. Impart to them wisdom. If you are skilled at automotive mechanics, get them in the garage with you and show them how to do that stuff.

This is good as parents to pass on information to our children that's actually useful information. And I would suggest that when you're searching for Mr. Right or for Mrs. Right, the necessity is to find someone who is first converted to Christ, but then secondly committed to the word of Christ.

I'm not sure the second necessarily follows. It should, but it doesn't always. Somebody can be converted and have about that deep of a theology. If you want to rear children the way that God calls you to rear children, you better understand it's not a spectator sport.

It's warfare, baby. It's battles each and every day. And if you're going into those trenches, you better lock arms with somebody who's got the same mindset and is ready to win. and is ready to be victorious, and is ready to press the gospel of Jesus Christ upon these children, such that they could rise up with Mrs. Spurgeon, who said to her own children, if on the day of judgment you are on the opposite side of Jesus Christ, I will stand with him to condemn you, because I did my part, and I exhorted you constantly to flee to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Brethren, rearing children is not child's play. Just because you can do it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be good at it. If you've got the Holy Spirit, you're washed in the blood of Jesus Christ, and you go to the scriptures with a humble attitude to learn in order to pass down information, that's the vantage point wherein I think God blesses. It's not formulaic.

I did everything right and my son wandered off. Well, what's the argument? Don't do everything right? I mean, he could still wander off.

The bottom line is we obey God because God calls us to do so and we see the great heritage that we have in our children and we seek to bring them up in God's way. Well, let us pray.

Closing Prayer

Our Father in heaven, we thank you for your word. We thank you that it's so clear and it's so beautiful and wonderful and the wisdom that we find here, contrary to what we witness in our present evil age. God, what a lamentable fact that persons have disregarded, people have ran from the Holy Scriptures when it comes to these things. God, help it to not be the case among us.

Help us to be faithful with reference to your word. I pray for all of the young families here, for the husbands, the wives, the fathers, the mothers, that you would just grant them with grace and strength and perseverance and with great joy. All of this is a wonderful, joyful, and beautiful thing to seek by your grace to bring up our children in the training and admonition of the Lord. We ask that you would go with us now, watch over us in this coming week, and we pray in the name and for the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen. We'll close with a brief time of meditation.

Scripture References

• Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 21; 21:18-21; 21:23
• Proverbs 1:7; 1:8-10; 2:1; 2:5; 3:1; 3:7; 3:11; 4:1; 4:3-9; 5:1; 5:7; 6:1; 6:20; 7:1; 7:24; 9:10; 13:22; 14:26; 15:33; 19:18; 20:11; 20:26; 22:15; 27:23-27; 28:13; 29:15
• 1 Samuel 2:12; 3:13
• Psalm 113
• Matthew 6:33
• John 2
• Romans 13:14
• Ephesians 2:1-10; 4:1; 4:25; 4:26; 4:28; 5:15-21; 5:22-6:9; 6:1-4; 6:4
• Colossians 3:21
• 1 Timothy 3:4-5; 5:8
• Galatians 3:13