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I'll just pick up reading in 
Ephesians chapter 5 at verse 15. And do not be drunk with wine, 
in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking 
to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing 
and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always 
for all things to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus 
Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit 
to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head 
of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is 
the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church 
is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands 
in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just 
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that 
he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water 
by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, 
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she 
should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their 
own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, 
for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes 
it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of 
his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a 
man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 
and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, 
but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, 
let each one of you, in particular, so love his own wife as himself, 
and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Amen. Well, let us pray. Our Father 
in Heaven, thank You for Your Word, and thank You that does 
detail or give us detailed instructions concerning our relationships 
here in this present evil age. And we know that apart from Your 
Holy Spirit, we cannot put these things into practice, so we pray 
that You would supply Him first, that we might receive the teaching 
of Your Holy Scripture, And second, that we might put these things 
into practice, both husbands and wives, in their relationships. We pray that we would glorify 
you in the home, that we would glorify you in the church, that 
we would glorify you in society and as individuals, that we would 
take seriously our blessed privilege to walk according to that gospel 
of our salvation. Again, forgive us now for all 
of our sin and unrighteousness, and we pray through Jesus Christ 
our Lord. Amen. Well, in Ephesians chapters one 
and two, we have the doctrinal foundation. Paul expounds on 
the gospel of our salvation. And then in chapter three, there's 
a bit of a transition. He indicates his place in redemptive 
history as the apostle to the Gentiles and underscores that 
mystery, which is Gentile inclusion in the covenant promises of God 
made to Israel, fulfilled of course, in our Lord Jesus Christ. And then from four, one, all 
the way through chapter six, we have practical application. 
We're supposed to walk in a manner that is consistent with our high 
calling. That's the general sort of exhortation 
in chapter 4 at verse 1. We are prohibited, according 
to chapter 4 and verse 17, as walking like the Gentiles in 
the futility of their mind. And then he gets real specific 
in terms of that walk in chapter 5. In verse 1, he says we're 
supposed to walk in love. In verse 8, he says we're supposed 
to walk in light. And then here in 5.15, he says 
we're to walk in wisdom. So he gives this emphasis on 
walking circumspectly, being wise, not fools. And then he 
gives a particular command to be filled with the Holy Spirit. 
And then he indicates what it looks like to be filled with 
the Holy Spirit. It will be reflected in the way 
that we sing. We sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual 
songs. We praise God, we pray to God, 
and we proclaim His truth to those we are singing with. And 
then he says that we will be singing and making melody in 
our hearts to the Lord. And then he says we were giving 
thanks to God for all things through our Lord Jesus Christ. 
And then in verse 21, he says, submitting to one another in 
the fear of God. So that's the general sort of 
a statement. And then from 522 all the way 
to 6-9, he gives specific concrete application. He deals with the 
wife-husband relationship, the child-parent relationship, and 
then the servant-master relationship. And so this, as I said, is a 
household code. How the people of God are supposed 
to live, having been bought by the precious blood of our Lord 
Jesus, and being filled with the Spirit. So we've already 
looked at verses 22 to 24, the exhortation to wives. Tonight 
we'll look at the exhortation to husbands. Specifically, verses 
25 to 27. God willing, we'll finish the 
section next Sunday night, but tonight, the exhortation to husbands, 
and we'll look at, first of all, the exhortation to lead with 
love in verse 25a, and then secondly, the demonstration of leading 
with love in verses 25b to 27. In other words, he calls us to 
a particular manner of life, and then he gives us as the standard, 
or as the pattern for that, our Lord Jesus Christ. So let's look 
first of all at the exhortation to lead with love. It's very 
simple. We've got a duty stated, and 
then the duty explained. Notice in 25a, husbands, love 
your wives. Now with reference to the duty 
stated, there's probably an assumption on our part. Probably not on 
our part because we've read this passage or we've heard this passage 
preached, but for that original audience. After telling the wives 
in verse 22, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, we might 
expect in verse 25, husbands rule your wives, husbands lead 
your wives, husbands govern your wives. But that's not Paul's 
statement here. Paul says, husbands, love your 
wives. He's already stated that the 
husband is the head of the wife. Notice in 23, or 22, wives, submit 
to your own husbands as to the Lord, and then the rationale 
or reason is for the husband is head of the wife. So he's 
already stipulated this. He's already indicated this. 
He's already stated this. He's not arguing that the husband 
should lead. He's not arguing that the husband 
should govern. He's not arguing that the husband 
should rule. He's assuming it because he's 
already stated it. for the husband is the head of 
the wife. The apostle has used the analogy of Jesus as the head 
of the church in verse 23b. And again, that's the standard 
or the pattern that the husband is to imitate or to try and follow. The apostle does not exhort the 
man to lead. God made man to lead. That's 
a given. That's an indicative. It's not 
an imperative. Paul's concern is that the man 
leads in a particular way. So Paul is concerned with the 
how he exercises this headship, how he exercises this government, 
how he exercises this leadership. As John Eady said, husbands are 
not to be domestic tyrants, but their dominion is to be a reign 
of love. They're not to be domestic tyrants, 
but theirs is to be a reign of love. So we've got this statement, 
wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. The reason is 
because the husband is the head of the wife. Well, what could 
possibly happen with a sinful man when he hears that? Well, 
if I'm the head, I'm the leader, I'm the governor, then I'm gonna 
exercise tyranny. I'm gonna be a despot. I'm gonna 
forget all about love. I'm gonna forget all about compassion. 
I'm gonna forget all about the kindness and the gentleness and 
the meekness of my Lord Jesus, and I'm just gonna let her have 
it. I'm just gonna make her submit. That's not what it's supposed 
to be. If that's your conception of 
male headship or wifely submission, you're not biblically minded. 
You're not thinking properly. Again, Edi says, husbands are 
not to be domestic tyrants, but their dominion is to be a reign 
of love. If you don't get anything else 
other than that tonight, get that, because that's Paul's concern 
in Ephesians 5, 25. Husbands, love your wives. Now, in terms of the explanation 
of the duty, I have two things here. First, the nature of the 
command, and secondly, the explanation of the command. The fact that 
this exhortation is repeated, notice again in verse 28 and 
then in verse 33, signifies its importance. In fact, if you look 
at this section 22 to 33, it's about the wife-husband relationship. But the wife gets very little 
in terms of verse count. It's the man that Paul deals 
with. Not that he doesn't deal with 
the wife, but the emphasis is upon that. The emphasis is upon 
his reign, and it's supposed to be a reign of love. And I 
would suggest in terms of the nature of the command, Paul speaks 
realistically. Paul speaks realistically. Inherent 
in a woman is to love her husband. So what does Paul address in 
this particular passage? That love must be tempered by 
submission and respect to her man. The man inherently is going 
to rule. Inherently, he is going to lead. 
Now, I realize there's beta males. I realize there's passive men. 
I realize there's low-T guys. I realize there's those sorts 
of fellows that want to abdicate and give the reins to their wife 
and just about everything. But that's the exception. The general rule is that God 
made man to lead. And men with testosterone typically 
do lead. They either lead well or they 
lead poorly. Paul's concern is that they lead well, that they 
lead by love, lead with love. So Paul speaks realistically. 
So the husband inherently rules, he must temper that with love. She is not his property. She 
is not chattel. She's not like a cow. She's not 
like a John Deere tractor. She is not like a piece of a 
possession that one owns. She is your wife and therefore 
you are to love her. He speaks realistically. FF Bruce 
made the observation that a husband's legal authority over his wife 
was such that she had little hope of redress at law for harsh 
or unfeeling conduct on his part. In fact, several of the commentators 
point that out. The Jews never really commanded 
to love their wives. And in this particular context, 
brethren, I don't know that I brought it out last time, but the typical 
marrying age of a girl in the Roman Empire at this date was 
about 12. Average was about 14. And she 
was usually marrying a man a decade or two decades older than her. 
So it would be quite common for a man 10 or 15 or 20 years older 
than a girl to use her as a slave or reign over her with tyranny 
or to not engage in that loving sort of a relationship. See, 
Paul in this Roman Empire world is revolutionary. George Bernard 
Shaw, the famous novelist, said that the Apostle Paul was the 
eternal enemy of women. Nothing could be further from 
the truth. Paul was the champion for, dare I say it, women's rights. He wanted the wife to be protected. He wanted the wife to be cared 
for. He wanted the wife to be loved. He wanted the wife to 
be treated the way that Christ treats his bride. Paul was not 
the enemy of women. Paul was not a chauvinist. Paul 
was a protector under the Holy Spirit, governing the men in 
the churches on how they were supposed to operate in this orbit 
of marriage. So back to F.F. Bruce, a husband's 
legal authority over his wife was such that she had little 
hope of redress at law for harsh or unfeeling conduct on his part. 
But such a situation should not arise in a Christian household. 
The forbearance and forgiveness which are enjoined in the preceding 
section of the letter. Remember by the time we get to 
Ephesians 5.25, husbands love your wives, we've learned a lot 
about love. We've learned a lot about how 
to conduct ourselves toward one another in the context of the 
local church. If I'm supposed to relate lovingly 
and forbearingly and forgivingly toward my brother or sister in 
the pew next to me, I'm certainly supposed to have that mindset 
with the bride who shares my bed, with the bride who shares 
my living room and my kitchen. I'm supposed to have that orientation, 
and that's Paul's concern here. He says, the forbearance and 
forgiveness which are enjoined in the preceding section of the 
letter, together with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, 
and patience, forbid a Christian man to be harsh in his treatment 
of anyone, especially of his own wife. So I submit that Paul 
speaks realistically. Secondly, Paul speaks consistently. What's he going to do from verses 
28 to 33? He is going to apply the one 
flesh analogy. Where do you think he fetches 
that one flesh analogy? He fetches it from the Garden 
of Eden. He fetches it from the creation account. This is not 
new teaching by Paul. This is not revolutionary. This is God's mind revealed in 
both the Old and the New Testaments. Matthew Henry made the comment 
concerning the creation of the woman. He said, the woman is 
not made out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be 
trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with 
him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. Meredith Klein made the observation, 
the woman was made for the man, yet not as his slave girl, but 
as his queen. See, that's Paul's orientation. It's not brand new. It's revolutionary 
in terms of the Roman Empire. It's revolutionary probably in 
terms of Jewish practice, but it's not revolutionary in the 
mind of God. God saw that the man was alone. There was not 
one comparable to him. There was not a helpmate for 
Adam. That was the one time during the creation week that God said 
something wasn't good. And so what does God do? He fixes 
the problem. He removes the rib, he fashions 
the woman, he brings her to Adam, such that they are now one flesh. 
So Paul speaks consistently. I would suggest thirdly, under 
the nature of the command that the apostle speaks particularly. Notice again in verse 25, husbands, 
love your wives. Not everybody else's wife. Not 
all the wives out there to be loved. Just like when he says 
to the wives, submit to your own husbands. Paul's not a Muslim. He's not telling you ladies that 
you need to be submissive to every single man on the face 
of the earth. No, he's particular. He's a Christian. He is consistent 
with God's mind revealed in scripture relative to the created order. 
Wives submit to your own husbands. Husbands love your wives. That 
doesn't mean you hate your sisters. It doesn't mean you have no kindness 
for your sisters. But it means that you love one 
above all the others. And you love one in a manner 
that's different than the love that you have for all the others. 
And then I would suggest, finally, under the nature of the command, 
that the apostle speaks authoritatively. The Apostle speaks authoritatively. In other words, this isn't open 
for negotiation. This isn't open for argument, 
unless she's not really that lovely. We'll deal with that 
as we move through the text. Neither is the church, but Christ 
loved her and he gave himself for her. And under his rule, 
under his government, under his tutelage, she actually gets more 
beautiful. She gets more radiant. She achieves 
that place of without blemish in that eternal state. So Paul 
says that under your rule, under your government, under your authority, 
your wife should be bettered. Your wife should be helped. Your 
wife should be blessed. That's what it means to love 
her. It means to bring blessing to her and upon her. So that's 
the nature of the command, but the explanation of the command. In other words, what does that 
mean? Love your wives. You know, we have this conception 
of what love is. And it's really wrong. It's really 
wonky. You know, love is defined by 
Hollywood, or love is, you know, just the erotic sort of a sense. 
No, love in the Bible is, you know, objective obedience to 
God's commands. So there's a general sense where 
1 Corinthians 13 advises us on this aspect of love. You can 
turn there. 1 Corinthians chapter 13. The 
argument here, under the explanation of the command, is the definition 
of love in a general sense. And if general, then certainly 
specific husband to wife. If this is to be the overarching 
sort of mindset or ethic or practice of the people of God in general, 
certainly we ought not to withhold that from our wives in the context 
of marital union. Notice in 1 Corinthians chapter 
13 at verse four, love suffers long and is kind. Brethren, short 
fuses have no place in marriage. Right? You better buckle in for 
the long haul, because it's not always going to be as beautiful 
and as wonderful as you think it might be. I know that when 
you're in the honeymoon phase, I know precursor to the honeymoon, 
you think that there's no blemish whatsoever in that potential 
mate. There is, and it's going to be 
evident. It's going to be evident in spades. So much so that you're going 
to have to invoke God's help to suffer long. Patience is what 
it means, but that's a great sort of a way to describe patience. 
Suffering long, right? And I'm not saying this as if 
I've got problems. I'm saying this as I know that 
my wife's got problems having to suffer long with me. But notice, 
love suffers long. Believe it or not, brethren, 
I'm really weird. I got my issues. It cannot be, you know, a walk 
in the park for that dear woman. Love suffers long and is kind. Kind. We need to be kind to our 
brides, kind to our wives, kind to our spouses. Not rough, not 
edgy. The way that you talk with the 
fellas at work, you need to be kind. Love does not envy. That means it doesn't want to 
deprive somebody of something good. Jealousy, I just want what 
you have. Envy, I want what you have and 
I don't want you to have it. There shouldn't be that in a 
marriage. We should love without envy. Love does not parade itself. It is not puffed up. It does 
not behave rudely. It does not seek its own. It 
is not provoked. It thinks no evil. It does not 
rejoice in iniquity, but it rejoices in the truth. It bears all things. It believes all things. It hopes 
all things. It endures all things. Love never 
fails. So as I said before, I'll say 
it again, if general in terms of the Christian's orientation, 
then certainly specific relative to the husband-wife relationship. 
But then with reference to the characteristics of love in the 
marriage union, taking into consideration the example of Christ. This is 
one of those passages where Christ is held up as a standard or as 
an example. Again, that's not all he is. 
We preach Christ in him crucified. To the Jews, a stumbling block, 
and to the Greeks, foolishness, but to those who are being saved, 
Christ, the wisdom and power of God. There is that sense where 
he is an example for the husband relative to the love that he's 
supposed to express to his wife, the same love that Christ expresses 
to his bride. So when we consider and ponder 
what it says here concerning Jesus and elsewhere in the Bible 
with reference to the characteristics of love in the marriage union, 
I would suggest first the husband is faithfully monogamous. He 
is faithfully monogamous. He's a one-woman man. He's not 
a several-woman man. He's not got roving eyes. He's 
not one of those fellows that, you know, can't wait to get away 
from his wife to go chasing after somebody else. Turn to the prophet 
Ezekiel. There's an interesting passage 
in Ezekiel chapter 24. Ezekiel chapter 24. We're on the heels... I'm sorry, 
it's not Ezekiel chapter 24. It must be chapter... Yes, it 
is chapter 24. Sorry. Basically, what we find 
is that God wants Israel to respond to the destruction of their temple 
and their city in a way that is consistent with God's instruction. 
And so the way that He wants them to do that is the way that 
He wants Ezekiel to deal with the tragedy in his own life. 
Notice in Ezekiel 24, verse 15, Also the word of the Lord came 
to me, saying, Son of man, behold, I take away from you the desire 
of your eyes with one stroke. Yet you shall neither mourn, 
nor weep, nor shall your tears run down. Sigh in silence, make 
no mourning for the dead, bind your turban on your head, and 
put your sandals on your feet. Do not cover your lips, and do 
not eat man's bread of sorrow. So I spoke to the people in the 
morning, and at evening my wife died. And the next morning I 
did as I was commanded." Again, the spiritual lesson for Israel 
is that you're going to be decimated, you're going to be devastated, 
you're going to be destroyed. Why? Because you broke covenant. 
You broke covenant. Deuteronomy 28 specified that 
when you broke covenant, you would be judged, severely so. 
You would be decimated. You would be exiled. You'd be 
cast out of the land. The land would vomit you out 
of its mouth. That's the lesson. They're not supposed to whine 
about it. They're not supposed to grumble about it. They're 
not supposed to ache and moan about it. They're supposed to 
take it in stride because they're responsible for this eventuality. But notice the desire of your 
eyes. It is his wife, not every wife 
in Israel, but the one wife that he's married to. The husband 
loves his wife by maintaining faithful monogamy. He's a one-woman 
man. Secondly, the husband is consistently 
self-sacrificing. That's the onus. That's the emphasis 
in 25b to 27. Just as Christ loved the church 
and did what? He gave himself for her. Back 
to Edie's statement, husbands are not to be domestic tyrants, 
but their dominion is to be a reign of love. Genuine headship in 
the Christian home is not the man sitting in his big easy chair, 
pounding the side of it, telling his wife what to do. That's not 
what we're finding in this particular passage. He is consistently self-sacrificing, 
and I would suggest under the characteristics of love in the 
marriage union, the husband is joyfully committed to her well-being. He is joyfully committed to her 
well-being, and all of these modifiers were placed in there 
specifically. We can't just do it. We must 
do it happily. Well, I gotta love you, baby. 
That's just the way it goes. I mean, man, it's a real bummer. 
It's a real chore. It's a real burden. Now, we may 
not vocalize that, but sometimes we don't have to. Sometimes it's 
written all over us that, yeah, I'll do it, but I'm not really 
happy about it. I don't want... Don't look surprised, brethren. 
You all have children. You've seen this before. Tell 
your child it is. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna do it. 
That's not sweet submission. Dare I say, I can't be the only 
man in the room. Maybe I am, maybe I'm outing 
myself. Maybe this says a lot more about me than it does any 
of you, but you gotta have the right disposition too. It's gotta 
be this joyful pursuit of her wellbeing. Notice the language 
when he does invoke this one flesh argument. Look at verse 
29, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but he does what with 
it? He nourishes it and he cherishes it just as the Lord does the 
church. Well, the only way to nourish 
and cherish something is with diligence, obviously, but there's 
a joyful purpose. There's a desirable end. You 
do this because it's good. You do this because you give. 
You do this because you want her well-being. And then I would 
suggest the expression of love in the marriage union. Three 
Ps here. I made this alliterable so that you can remember this. 
Three Ps. Pray for her, provide for her, 
and protect her. Pray for her, provide for her, 
and protect her. Now nothing's ever that simple, 
so I'm gonna investigate this a little bit more deeply. First 
of all, he prays for her. Notice again the example of Jesus 
in verse 26, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing 
of water by the word. So under pray for her, I mean 
religious, spiritual government. religious spiritual leadership, 
religious spiritual rule. In other words, you encourage 
church participation, you encourage Bible reading, you encourage 
prayer, you encourage singing, you do this with her and together. You pray for her, you're concerned 
about her spiritual state. She says, honey, I was reading 
heresy on the internet today. Oh, that's good, babe. I hope 
you come out as an Aryan. No, you don't do that. You try 
to prevent that. You try to speak love to her 
in a way that promotes peace in the home. So the husband prays 
for his wife. He cares for her. There's spiritual 
tutelage going on. Not master to servant, not, you 
know, wondrous teacher to lowly one. That's not what I mean. 
But I mean that the husband takes charge in the home and he governs 
with reference to religion and spirituality. Secondly, the husband 
provides for his wife. There's two things here, the 
law of God and the instruction by Paul. The law of God in Exodus 
chapter 21, specifically at verse 10, indicates that if a man took 
a wife, an additional wife to the one he already had, it's 
in the context of slavery, he could take this woman that was 
a slave and either marry her or give her to his son. But in 
either case, if he took her as his wife, or if the son took 
her as his wife, there was still an obligation to wife number 
one. In other words, just because 
he found another wife doesn't mean he forgets wife number one. So again, polygamy was never 
God's intention. He made man, He made woman. He 
made one man, He made one woman. But because of sin, polygamy 
obtained. Because of sin, men added wives. So what does God do? He provides 
redress in the law to protect the innocent parties. And He 
does that. So with reference to Exodus 21, 
there's three specifics. If he took wife number two, he 
could not diminish wife number one's pantry, closets, or bed. He could not diminish her right 
to food, to clothing, and to marital intimacy. That's what 
Exodus 21 10 says. In terms of marital intimacy, 
1 Corinthians 7, verses 3-5 gives that reciprocal obligation on 
the part of husbands and wives. And in that instance, it says 
the wife has the authority over the man's body when it comes 
to marital intimacy, the conjugal relation. So the Apostle Paul 
then comes along in 1 Timothy chapter 5, and he gives that 
admonition. If a man does not provide for 
his own, what is it? Well, he's a common 21st century 
deadbeat that doesn't serve his spouse. Yeah, he's an infidel. He's an unbeliever. He's a bad 
guy. The guy that reneges on his responsibility 
to keep his wife's pantry filled, to keep her closet filled, and 
to keep her sexually fulfilled is a deadbeat, according to the 
apostle Paul. He's worse than an infidel. He's 
worse than an unbeliever. So you pray for her, you provide 
for her, and then thirdly, you protect her. There's a couple 
of passages that speak to this. Again, the law of God, Exodus 
chapter 22. Now Heber, the Kenite, had a 
sturdy wife by the name of Jael, and she was quite handy wielding 
a tent peg. Even so, it was his responsibility, 
if somebody broke into the house, to go and rebuff them, to go 
and stop them. While you're under the covers, 
you don't nudge your wife out of the bed. Honey, go downstairs 
and see what's going on. You know, take the knife, take 
the stick, whatever, just go figure it out. No, you have an 
obligation to protect her. The Apostle Paul makes this very 
clear in our passage as well. This whole idea of love and then 
a comparison with the Lord Jesus Christ. Westminster's Shorter 
Catechism picks up on this. It says, how does Christ execute 
the office of a king? Christ executes the office of 
a king in subduing us to himself in ruling and what? Defending 
us and in restraining and conquering all his and our enemies. So we 
need to reckon with something our culture absolutely despises. 
Our culture hates this. Our culture thinks this is bad. 
Our culture thinks that a man with a beard ought to be able 
to compete in women's sports and win. That's how messed up 
we are. They actually stop calling women 
women and they call them birthing persons or whatever the nonsense 
of the day might particularly be. Listen to Peter in 1 Peter 
chapter 3. This is not denigrating. Ladies, don't get, you know, 
offended. If you're offended by Peter's statement, you're 
more connected and attached to this culture than you might imagine. 
Listen to what he says. Husbands likewise dwell with 
them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker 
vessel. I'm not the weaker vessel. Yeah, you are. Sorry. Again, if you don't like that, 
if you recoil in horror against that, you've probably got more 
sympathies with the present culture than you do with the biblical 
worldview. The apostle Peter acknowledges what everybody up 
until the 21st century acknowledged. That men are stronger physically, 
emotionally, not always spiritually. Some women give you a run for 
the money there, but in a general sense, brethren. So who's supposed 
to go downstairs? Jail with the tent peg or you 
with the tent peg? It's supposed to be you. You're 
supposed to defend her. You're supposed to protect her. 
That in the context of love. Now, I would suggest that when 
he invokes the example of the Lord Jesus Christ, that supreme 
demonstration of self-sacrifice, he gave himself for her, what 
should we extrapolate from that? We should be willing to die for 
our brides. I don't think any of us would 
disagree with that in principle. We would all say, yeah, if there's 
a guy who robs us on the street, he's got a gun, he points it 
in the face of my wife, I'm going to try to get betwixt her and 
the gun. That's noble, that's good, but 
let us not forget we need to live for her each and every day 
as well. In the parallel passage in Colossians chapter 3, the 
Apostle says, If you're willing to eat a bullet for her, you 
ought to be willing to bury your bitterness because she burned 
dinner. Or bury bitterness because she didn't make everything perfect 
for you. This is the orbit of love. This is what it means. This is the self-sacrifice that 
the apostle calls us to, and that's the section we move on 
to. Well, before we do, let me just read John Gill. He summarizes 
it beautifully. Husbands, love your wives. He 
says, which consists in a strong and cordial affection for them, 
in a real delight and pleasure in them, in showing respect. 
It's interesting because if you've seen the picture of John Gill, 
it doesn't sound like this comes from him. Looks like the brother 
could have used some Metamucil or something. He looks all stopped 
up, he looks unhappy, but he sounds like a happy brother when 
it comes to contemplating his beloved. In showing respect and 
doing honor to them. In seeking their contentment, 
satisfaction, and pleasure. In a quiet, constant, and comfortable 
dwelling with them. In providing all things necessary 
for them. In protecting them from all injuries and abuses. 
In concealing their faults and covering their infirmities. In 
entertaining the best opinion of their persons and actions. 
and in endeavoring to promote their spiritual good and welfare. 
This love ought to be hardy and sincere, and not feigned and 
selfish. It should be shown in private 
as well as in public. It should be chaste and single, 
constant and perpetual. It should exceed that which is 
bore to neighbors, or even to parents, and should be equal 
to that a man bears to himself, not so as to hinder and break 
in upon love to God and Christ. Do you know what he's saying? 
Your love for your bride ought to far surpass every relationship 
except God. It doesn't mean you hate your 
kids. It means you love your bride. You love your queen. You 
take good care of her. You pray for her, you provide 
for her, and you protect her. That's what Gil is saying is 
what love is all about. Now notice, secondly, the demonstration 
of leading with love, verses 25b to 27. We have here first 
the pattern of our Lord Jesus in 25b, and then second, the 
plan of our Lord Jesus in verses 26 and 27. Note with reference to the pattern. 
There is this declaration of his love, right? We know that. 
He speaks verbally. The Bible is not silent when 
it comes to God so loving the world. There's that verbal acknowledgement. There is that communication by 
the written and spoken word that God loves us. Notice that Jesus 
functions here as the standard with reference to the husband's 
love for his wife. This isn't new. Look back at 
5.1. It says, therefore, be imitators of God as dear children and walk 
in love as Christ. That was 5.2. I said 5-1, just 
like I said Philip this morning. It was Thomas in John 14 that 
asked to see the Father. So here it's walk in love as 
Christ also loved us and has given himself for us. So this 
is not new. The standard is Christ. So husbands, 
love your wives just as Christ also loved the church. Now, this 
is an analogy, and all analogies break down at some point. We 
can't push this too far. We don't have the power to redeem 
our wives. We don't have the power to sanctify our wives. 
We don't have the power to convey upon them a free justification 
or sanctification. So the analogy is good, and we 
need to model ourselves after it. We need to realize the limitations. So when we come to this particular 
passage, we see the relevance of the analogy as well. Husbands, 
love your wives just as Christ also loved the church. Because 
again, you're going to have somebody sitting in the congregation, 
the Apostle Paul sends the letter, the Apostle Paul reads the letter, 
and he says, husbands, love your wives. What's going to immediately 
suggest itself to some, you know, meathead in the congregation? 
But she's not that lovely. She's just not. She's just not. I would always want to say, well, 
why did you marry her? If you couldn't love her, you shouldn't 
have married her. Remember the emphasis last time? Do some work 
on the front end so you don't end up in divorce on the back 
end. Do a little bit of contemplation and meditation on Ephesians chapter 
5 before you say, I do, before you covenant together before 
God and men. Do your work, do your due diligence. If you were buying a car, you'd 
certainly want a mechanic to investigate it. I'm not suggesting 
you get a mechanic to kick the tires on this potential bride, 
but you do your work. You make sure that you can love 
this particular person, right? This seems obvious. So if somebody 
says, well, you know, Paul, husbands love your wives. I get it in 
principle, but she's just not that lovely. Listen to Stephen 
Baugh. He says, Christ's model demonstrates 
a love toward someone who is not perfect or purely lovable. In the case of the church, Remember 
this, brethren, you and I are the church, okay? When the church 
is referred to, there's present blessing to be sure, there is 
a not yet consummated glory to be sure, but there's a lot of 
mess. A lot of wrinkles, a lot of spots. He says in the case of the church, 
she is full of warts, wrinkles, and impurities outside Christ's 
loving consecration and cleansing. So there is this declaration 
of his love, love your wives just as Christ also loved the 
church, but then notice there is this demonstration of his 
love. So the declaration is the verbal 
acknowledgement that he loves her, but the demonstration is 
that he gave himself for her. That's the end of verse 25. So the apostle now is engaged 
in a bit of a digression. He doesn't immediately return 
to the responsibility of husbands or wives. He takes up his favorite 
subject. It's Jesus. And by the way, according 
to verse 32, the whole section or unit is about Jesus. Now there's 
incidental teaching about husbands and wives to be sure, and we 
need to glean that and gain that and garner that, but the whole 
emphasis here is upon Christ and his bride. So the apostle 
Paul first declares Christ's love for his church, but then 
he demonstrates Christ's love for the church. And the analogy 
in the hand of the apostle indicates that the love of Christ for us 
is self-sacrificing. He gave himself for her. He doesn't 
demand everything. He doesn't sit in his easy chair, 
banging the side, telling him to do this and to do that. His 
is in fact a reign of love. And as well, his love for her 
is not only self-sacrificing, but it's redemptive. Again, the 
analogy breaks down. We can't redeem our brides, but 
we can certainly encourage them. We can certainly press upon them 
the need to read scripture and go to church and pray and all 
those sorts of things. But with reference to our Lord 
Jesus, He betters our state, doesn't He? That's what redemption's 
all about. Jesus Christ elevates us under 
His leadership, under His government, under His rule, we become something 
better. What's the point? Is your wife 
becoming something better under your rule, under your government, 
under your leadership? If not, brother, it's probably 
not her fault. I mean, it is because she may 
be a deadbeat too, but you've got to bear some of that responsibility. Look at Peter again in 1 Peter 
3. You ever struggle with prayer? Not the act of, but feeling as 
if it never got out of the room. It never ever got to the very 
ear of God. Look at again, 1 Peter 3. I stopped 
the reading of the text just to highlight the weaker vessel, 
but notice what Peter goes on to say. Husbands likewise dwell 
with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to 
the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of 
life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Huh, you mean the 
way that I mistreat my wife may actually bar up blessing from 
God? Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it says. The way that you 
mistreat your wife may actually bar up the blessing of God. See, 
the Lord Jesus Christ, under his government, the church is 
bettered. The church is redeemed. He self-sacrifices for her increase. The same ought to obtain in the 
married relationship. Back to our text. So that's the 
pattern of our Lord Jesus in verse 25b, but then notice the 
plan of our Lord Jesus in verses 26 and 27. Paul uses a lot of 
Old Testament stuff here. I'm gonna just try to unpack 
it a little bit. We're gonna bring this home very soon. We're 
not gonna be much longer, but look at what Paul does here. 
So he says, generally, just as Christ also loved the church 
and gave himself for her. So there's definite atonement, 
blood atonement, particular redemption. Paul's Christology is impeccable. 
He's not, you know, telling us that Jesus died for every man 
without exception. He died for the church. He purchased 
his bride. He went after the elect. Those 
are his. Those are the ones. But then 
notice the particular plan, the sanctification of his bride, 
verse 26, the presentation of his bride, verse 27a, and then 
ultimately the consummate holiness of his bride in verse 27b. But note first the sanctification 
of his bride, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing 
of water by the word. Again, lots of metaphors, lots 
of things to unpack there, but I think if we just adopt the 
mindset that Paul's already spoken in terms of Old Covenant cult, 
it helps us to navigate this passage. Because some wonder, 
well, did he cleanse her with the washing of water? Is that 
baptism? Wasn't it cleansing by the washing through his own 
precious blood? You know, there's all these background statements 
in Ezekiel 16, the Lord God Yahweh comes to Israel. She's in her 
blood. He says, live, live. He decks her with ornaments. 
He takes her as his own. Certainly an obvious sort of 
a connection to this particular passage. Ezekiel 36, the God 
of heaven and earth says that He'll sprinkle clean water upon 
them and cleanse them. I think back even further. It's the idea of ceremonial washing. It's the idea of preparation 
to go into the house of God. Again, this concept is already 
present. Notice in Ephesians 2. Ephesians 2, verse 18, for 
through Him we both have access by one Spirit to the Father. 
Verse 19, now therefore you are no longer strangers and foreigners, 
but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household 
of God. Having been built on the foundation 
of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the 
chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building being fitted together 
grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being 
built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. How 
did you enter into the temple? You had to first be cleansed. 
You had to go through water rites. You had to be purified. Something 
had to obtain before you could enter into the very presence 
of God. This sort of temple mindset or motif is present. Notice in 
chapter three at verse 19, to know the love of Christ, which 
passes knowledge that you may be filled with all the fullness 
of God. I remember preaching that vividly. 
There's two particular ways one can look at it. I favored the 
Shekinah glory of God coming upon the temple, and that blazing 
glory manifested in their midst. So going back to this particular 
section, instead of trying to, you know, figure out every jot 
and tittle of it, just understand that what Christ does is He prepares 
His bride for communion with the Father. He prepares his bride 
for entrance in to the very presence of God Almighty. He sanctifies 
her. He cleanses her with the washing 
of water by the Word. The Geneva Bible glosses this 
way, through the promise of free justification and sanctification 
in Christ, received by faith. Gil says, being justified by 
His righteousness, washed in His blood and sanctified by His 
Spirit. So a general statement in verse 
26, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing 
of water by the word. Again, it's about Christ, but 
there's certain parallel, and the analogy obtains with reference 
to the man. You can't do this, you can't 
affect this, you're not the powerful Holy Spirit, but you again can 
encourage it. You can pray for her. You can 
make sure that she can access those means that are sufficient 
to benefit her soul. And then notice, secondly, the 
presentation of his bride, that he might present her to himself 
a glorious church. Paul says something like this 
in 2 Corinthians 11, 2, highlighting his own instrumentality with 
the church at Corinth. He says, for I am jealous for 
you with a godly jealousy, for I have betrothed you to one husband 
that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. Paul saw his 
apostolic ministry in those terms. And he's upbraiding the Corinthian 
church because they were the Corinthian church. They had a 
multitude of problems. They had a multitude of issues. 
They had a multitude of failures. And yet he says, I am jealous 
for you with godly jealousy for I have betrothed you to one husband 
that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But obviously 
the effective agent, the emphasis falls upon the Lord Jesus. And 
you see that here. in verse 27, that he might present 
her to himself a glorious church. And don't miss that two little 
words, to himself. He saves us for himself. Isn't 
that beautiful? Tidal Bird Catechism number one, 
what is your only hope in this life? Or your only comfort in 
life and death? That I am not my own, but belong, 
body and soul, in life and death, to my faithful Savior, Jesus 
Christ. He does this to present her to 
himself. And there's an already aspect 
of this and a not yet. The already is Hebrews chapter 
10, verses 19 to 25. We have been cleansed in his 
precious blood, and as the church gathered, we have access into 
the presence of God most high. But there's a not yet consummate 
glory aspect that awaits us. Revelation chapter 19, 7 to 11. 
Revelation chapter 21, verse 2. Revelation chapter 21, verses 
9 to 11. We've already received great 
blessing from our Lord. We've already been justified 
freely by His grace through His blood. We've already been sanctified 
or being sanctified But we're not at that state of not-yet-ness, 
and that's where he finishes his argument in verse 27b, that 
he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having 
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and 
without blemish. Now, the apostle uses this metaphor, 
this language, because it does suggest a blemish, right? Wrinkles. You notice this as you get older. 
Spots. You notice that as you get older. And all kinds of other things. 
But what is the apostle's mindset here? For those of us who were 
gathered on Wednesday night, it's Leviticus. It's Leviticus. Remember, the idea is that you 
need to be cleaned up before you enter into the house of God. 
You need to be washed with water, cleansed ceremonially, prepared 
to meet the bridegroom. Well, in the book of Leviticus, 
there were certain foods that you were not supposed to eat. 
There were blemished animals that you were not supposed to 
sacrifice. And there was a class of priests 
that if they had certain physical anomalies, they were not allowed 
to engage in service at the altar. They weren't condemned for being 
a hunchback. They weren't condemned for being 
a dwarf. They weren't condemned for having 
a gimped hand or a foot. But they were prevented from 
offering at the altar. And we think, that sounds a bit 
unkind, a bit unfair. No. The God of absolute glory, 
majesty, and holiness who is altogether wondrous, demands 
that the animals used for sacrifice are blemish-free. And he demands 
that the man who offers the animals, as far as is able, be blemish-free. In other words, in the entirety 
of the covenant community in Israel, pick the fellows that 
don't have these blemishes to serve at the altar. Now God doesn't 
say they can't eat from the altar, because they were priests, they 
were entitled, as I said earlier. They didn't have allotments, 
they didn't have tribal allotments, they didn't have places to grow 
food, they didn't have places to raise animals. So what does 
God say, through Moses, to the people of Israel? They're free 
to eat. They're not unclean. They're 
not impure. They've just got a blemish that 
keeps them from presenting sacrifice in the presence of God Most High. 
I submit that that's what Paul is on about. There's no spot. There's no wrinkle. There's no 
blemish. There is nothing that would bar communion with the 
triune God of absolute glory and holiness. this under Christ's 
rulership, this under Christ's headship, this under Christ's 
leadership, this under Christ's government. He sanctifies her, 
he cleanses her, he washes her, he does it instrumentally through 
the word of the gospel, and he does so that he can present her 
to himself a glorious church, such that on that day she'll 
have no spot She'll have no wrinkle and she will be blemish free 
when she stands in the presence of God Most High to worship world 
without end. Amen. Talk about a standard for 
our love for our brides. Brethren, we better get at it 
because we got lots of work to do to try and imitate what our 
blessed Savior does in terms of cleaning this mess up and 
making it presentable to his Father in heaven. We are moving. We are on our path, we are going, 
we are in sanctification, we are being washed, we are being 
sanctified, we are being cleansed, we are being presented to Him 
as a glorious church, but it's not been yet fully realized what 
we're gonna become without spot, without wrinkle, and without 
blemish. The Apostle Paul underscores 
the blessedness of our Lord Jesus Christ, who not only justifies 
us, not only sanctifies us, but has purposed and planned to glorify 
us. And he does this for himself. In conclusion, we need to understand 
the responsibility of the husband, the necessity to lead his wife 
in the context of love. The standard of leading his wife 
in the context of love is the Lord Jesus Christ. The explanation 
of what it means to lead his wife in the context of love. 
And again, you saw where I got that. I didn't just come up with 
pray for her and provide for her and protect her. John Gill 
says exactly the same thing. So does John Calvin, John Eady, 
Charles Hodge, just about every commentator who takes pen to 
paper and comments on what it means to love like Christ loved 
the church. And the encouragement, brethren, 
from me to you, and hopefully you to me, that we do this for 
God's glory and for our wives' well-being. Secondly, the relationship 
of husband and wife. I would suggest first the need 
for obedience to God's commands. You know that most of your problems 
as a married couple could be worked out pretty simply. Get 
on your knees, open Ephesians 5, read, and then pray, God forgive 
me that I haven't been doing that, and God help me to do that. 
What, five minutes? Not saying we should rush through 
it like that. Well, yeah, that's it. Now we 
can go play, you know, phase 10, baby. You know, everything's 
great. Whatever. You see what I'm saying? 
We overcomplicate. Now I realize, you know, there's 
the principle of a general practitioner, a doctor, that you know, can 
prescribe a solution for lots of things. But sometimes people 
need specialists. Sometimes you need a brain specialist 
or neurologist. And there's a place for that. 
There is a place for that sort of a thing. But for the most 
part, the ebb and flow of the Christian life, if we got on 
our faces before God and were willing to repent, humble ourselves, 
and actually do what God says, we'd probably iron out a lot 
of our issues just like that, that quick, honestly. Secondly, 
we need to understand the blessing of reciprocity in obedience to 
God's commands. The goodness of marriage when 
both parties comply. See, we always just think that 
the thing in itself is a blessing. Children are a blessing from 
the Lord. Not if you don't pray for them. Not if you don't discipline 
them. I'm not saying they're monsters, 
but they can be monsters. It takes effort. It takes work. So does a good marriage, brethren. 
It doesn't just fall out of heaven. Wow, we just got a perfect marriage. 
Aren't we lucky? No, usually you have to work 
at it. You can't just expect these things 
to iron themselves out or work these things out. You have to 
work at it. And then I would suggest the 
ease of compliance when both parties obey. I alluded to this 
last time. If I'm loving my wife the way 
I'm supposed to be, I've got to think it's going to make her 
job of submission to me a little easier. And if she's submitting 
to me the way that she's supposed to do, I think that it makes 
my job of loving her a bit easier. Again, it's not going to be blemish-free. 
It's not going to be without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. 
There's going to be issues. There's going to be challenges 
and all that sort of thing. But far fewer than when we're both 
butting heads and neither of us are willing to obey God's 
Word. That's the key, that's the instruction here. And then, 
as I mentioned before, the preparation for marriage should include much 
meditation upon Ephesians 5, 22 to 33. If you're a single 
that wants to get married, learn what this passage says. And pray 
for somebody that fits the bill, but pray that you'll be somebody 
that fits the bill. God, send me a wife that submits. 
No, first pray, God, help me to love a woman the way Christ 
loves the church. And then finally, I think the 
onus is on the redemptive work of our Lord Jesus. This is a 
great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Paul draws 
out the truth of particular redemption. He loved the church and he gave 
himself for her. He speaks concerning the efficacy 
of the blood and righteousness of our Lord Jesus Christ, and 
he speaks concerning the glory of the eternal state when we 
are presented to him as a glorious church without spot or wrinkle 
or any such thing. The Apostle, in the context of 
dealing with husbands and wives, cannot help himself from engaging 
in that high and glorious and wondrous Christology that we've 
come to expect from the Apostle Paul and we love and we appreciate. May God indeed bless us, not 
only as a church, but as individuals and as families, so that we may 
indeed do what the Lord calls us to and conduct ourselves in 
a manner that is consistent with the gospel. Well, let us pray. 
Our Father in heaven, we thank you for your word. We thank you 
for the instruction that we find here in Ephesians 5. We pray 
for your blessing upon us. We pray for your grace. We pray 
for the aid and assistance of the Holy Spirit that we may be 
enabled to comply And I pray that you would go with us now, 
watch over us in this coming week and be glorified in the 
midst of our lives. And we pray through Christ our 
Lord, amen. We'll close with a brief time 
of meditation.