← Back to sermon library

Okay, you can turn in your Bibles 
to 2 Samuel 13. 2 Samuel chapter 13. I'll read 
the whole chapter, but our focus tonight is on the second half, 
verses 23 to 39. Because the second half depends 
on the first half, I'll read that as well. It is a difficult 
chapter. It's filled with the sin of man, 
And as I was thinking about this, I considered the fact that if 
it were not for God and His grace, the kingdom would never even 
be, let alone extend and advance and be preserved. If it was up 
to men, then it would certainly tumble and fall, but because 
of God's grace and mercy, He does cause His kingdom to march 
onward. 2 Samuel 13, beginning in verse 
1. After this, Absalom, the son 
of David, had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, 
the son of David, loved her. Amnon was so distressed over 
his sister Tamar that he became sick, for she was a virgin. And 
it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon 
had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty 
man, and he said to him, why are you, the king's son, becoming 
thinner day after day? Will you not tell me? Amnon said 
to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. So Jonadab 
said to him, lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And 
when your father comes to see you, say to him, please let my 
sister Tamar come and give me food and prepare the food in 
my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand. And Amnon 
lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to 
see him, Amnon said to the king, Please, let Tamar, my sister, 
come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may 
eat from her hand. And David sent home to Tamar, 
saying, Now go to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food 
for him. So Tamar went to her brother 
Amnon's house, and he was lying down. And she took flour and 
kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And 
she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused 
to eat. Then Amnon said, Have everyone 
go out from me. And they all went out from him. 
Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the bedroom, that 
I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes which 
she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them 
to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come, lie 
with me, my sister. But she answered him, no, my 
brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done 
in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing. 
And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would 
be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to 
the king, for he will not withhold me from you. However, he would 
not heed her voice, and being stronger than she, he forced 
her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, 
so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than 
the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Arise, 
be gone. So she said to him, No, indeed, 
this evil of sending me away is worse than the other that 
you did to me. but he would not listen to her. Then he called 
his servant who attended him and said, here, put this woman 
out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her. Now she had 
on a robe of many colors, for the king's virgin daughters wore 
such apparel. And his servant put her out and 
bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head 
and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her 
hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom, 
her brother, said to her, Has Amnon, your brother, been with 
you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart. 
So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. 
But when King David heard of all these things, he was very 
angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon, neither good nor 
bad. For Absalom hated Amnon because 
he had forced his sister Tamar. And it came to pass after two 
full years that Absalom had sheep shearers in Baal Hazor, which 
is near Ephraim. So Absalom invited all the king's 
sons. Then Absalom came to the king 
and said, kindly note, your servant has sheep shearers. Please let 
the king and his servants go with your servant. But the king 
said to Absalom, No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we 
be a burden to you. Then he urged him, but he would 
not go, and he blessed him. Then Absalom said, If not, please 
let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said to him, 
Why should he go with you? But Absalom urged him, so he 
let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him. Now Absalom 
had commanded his servants, saying, Watch now, when Amnon's heart 
is merry with wine, and when I say to you, Strike Amnon, then 
kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not 
commanded you? Be courageous and valiant. So 
the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. 
Then all the king's sons arose, and each one got on his mule 
and fled. And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that 
news came to David, saying, Absalom has killed all the king's sons, 
and not one of them is left. So the king arose and tore his 
garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by 
with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab, the son of Shimea, 
David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose 
they have killed the young men, the king's sons, for only Amnon 
is dead. For by the command of Absalom, 
this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister 
Tamar. Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing 
to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead, for 
only Amnon is dead. Then Absalom fled, and the young 
man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there 
many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind 
him. And Jonadab said to the king, Look, the king's sons are 
coming. As your servant said, so it is. 
So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king's 
sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also 
the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom 
fled and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son 
every day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur 
and was there three years. And king David longed to go to 
Absalom, for he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he 
was dead. Amen. Well, as I said, this is 
an unsavory chapter of Scripture filled with incestual rape and 
murder, vengeful murder. And a few things by way of reminder, 
if you remember last week in the beginning part of the chapter 
in verses 1 to 22, we see the desire on Amnon's part to lay 
with Tamar. Now, she is his sister. They 
both have the same father. They do have different mothers. 
However, they are blood relatives, so this compounds the sin, its 
incest and its rape, conducted by or executed by Amnon. We see 
the assistance of Jonadab, this crafty man. He's described as 
being wise. Literally, that's what verse 
2 tells us. He was wise. I'm sorry, verse 
3. The new King James renders it 
very crafty. I think the NIV has it shrewd, 
which is a good interpretation. He had a wisdom, but it wasn't 
mingled with principle. He had no integrity. He had no 
righteousness. And Jonadab fares in our story 
tonight as well, and he doesn't look a whole lot better. Also, 
we saw the act committed by Amnon. It was rape. He forced her. The 
text is conspicuous in verse 14, verse 22, and then even Jonadab 
rehearses the same thing in the passage that we read tonight 
and indicates that Jonadab knew of of Absalom's intention to 
deal with Amnon in this way. And then in verses 15 to 22, 
we have the aftermath, the various responses or the reactions by 
the persons involved in the story. It says that Amnon hated her 
with great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her 
was greater than the love with which he had loved her." Amnon's 
love for her initially was not love, it was lust. He was governed 
by his desires, he was driven by his lusts and by his passions. We see the response of Tamar. 
She is disgraced, she goes to stay with her brother Absalom, 
and she remains desolate there. The text specifically indicates 
concerning Absalom that Absalom hated Amnon. He hated him. He 
despised him. He did not approve, obviously, 
of what Amnon had done to his sister. And then the text indicates 
David's response in verse 21. But when King David heard of 
all these things, he was very angry. And the text just moves 
right on. I think the author wants us to 
appreciate that David should have done something. Even though 
David didn't have the moral authority he once had because of his own 
indiscretion or his own sin, adultery with Bathsheba and then 
the murder of Uriah, nevertheless, David should have acted. It was 
good that he was angry, it was good that he was upset, but it 
was bad that he didn't act. And we'll see that as we move 
through the passage tonight. And we do need to as well remember 
the conspicuous nature of these sins. Amnon's sexual rape, or 
his escapade with Tamar, corresponds to David with Bathsheba. And 
then Absalom's contrived murder of Amnon corresponds to David's 
dispatching of Uriah. And this is in accordance with 
what God had said to David there would be consequences as a result 
of his sin, and we see that even here in chapter 13. So, tonight 
we'll look at the murder of Amnon in verses 23 to 29. Secondly, 
the reaction of David in verses 30 to 33. And then thirdly, the 
flight of Absalom in verses 34 to 39. But note first, with reference 
to Absalom in verse 23a. and it came to pass after two 
full years." So he has been nurturing this anger. He has been nurturing 
this hatred. He has been nurturing this vengeful 
spirit for two long years. So what happens in this particular 
passage is premeditated. It is malice aforethought. It 
fits all of the requirements, obviously, of the crime of murder. He hated him. and he nurtured 
that hatred for two full years after the rape of his sister. 
Calvin said, for the space of two years, he nursed the hatred 
which he had conceived until he at last spat out his venom 
and executed the vengeance which he had conceived in his own heart. 
Now, as we work our way through the passage, I'm sure it might 
rise up in your heart, as it has in mine, that Amnon got what 
was coming to him. I mean, he committed capital 
rape, he committed incest, the law of God stipulated that he 
die for that. But just because the justice 
inflicted upon him was legitimate, it does not mean the means by 
which that justice was inflicted upon him was legitimate. We are 
never to condone or encourage vigilantism. Now, I suspect, 
or I believe, and I will argue later, that David's inactivity 
set the stage for such a response. In other words, when the civil 
government, when our earthly rulers don't do their jobs, then 
it causes the sons of men to engage in things that are not 
righteous. Well, it doesn't cause them, 
they're free moral agents, but it's certainly a circumstance, 
and so the idea is is that the government or the civil authority 
is supposed to do what they're supposed to do, so that private 
individuals won't be seeking out justice at their own hands. So, what we have here is a case 
of unauthorized homicide. It is a murder of Amnon. Now, note his plan in verses 
23b to 27. He's having a sheep-shearing party. I know that strikes us as a bit 
odd, but in this particular culture, we saw it back in 1 Samuel 25 
with Nabal, a sheep shearing party. It happened typically 
in the summertime. They would shear the sheep, and 
they would drink, and they would feast, and they would eat, and 
they would just have a right merry old time. shearing sheep 
and counting their money and enjoying the blessings and the 
provisions of God. This is precisely what was going 
on. Davis says that Absalom was having 
a sheep shearing party. It would be a perfect time to 
shear sheep and to butcher Amnon. You see, this is his procedure, 
this is his plan, this is what he is going to carry out. Note 
that he invites the king, he asks his father in verse 24, 
kindly note your servant has sheep shearers, please let the 
king and his servants go with your servant. Now perhaps because 
of David's track record previously, Absalom is betting on the fact 
that David won't attend. I doubt he really wants David 
to attend because Absalom's plan is to liquidate Amnon. He does 
not want King David there, but David has been somewhat inactive, 
not just according to verse 21, but when kings went out to battle, 
David stayed behind in Jerusalem. David's been using Joab more 
and more. And so Absalom asks David to 
participate in this, and David says in verse 25, No, my son, 
let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you. And I think 
that means financial aid. And King David comes, then his 
entourage comes, and then servants come, and Absalom probably doesn't 
have enough sheep and shearers to feed that particular group. 
So David kindly rejects or declines the offer, and then Absalom pushes. Notice in verse 26. He says, if not, please let my 
brother Amnon go with us. Now one wonders if David had 
any suspicion whatsoever or did the passage of the two years 
solidify in David that everything was okay between Absalom and 
Amnon. I mean, think about it. You're 
a father. You know that one of your sons raped one of your daughters, 
and that the other son is very upset about that activity. So when that son says, can you 
send Amnon? I'd like him to enjoy the feast 
and the party tonight. I don't know about you, but I 
might be thinking that I don't know if this is such a good idea. 
It does seem as if there's a bit of hesitation on David's part. Notice in verse 27. Or verse 
26, and the king said to him, why should he go with you? Again, 
I don't know if he's suspicious or if he's just inquisitive or 
what the issue is, but Absalom urged him, so he let Amnon and 
all the king's sons go with him. Now if you notice something intriguing 
here, what's David's function? David's function in this particular 
account is exactly his function in the previous account. Robert 
Alter says Absalom's making David his go-between to lure Amnon 
to his death, just as Amnon made David his go-between to lure 
Tamar to her violation. So it was Amnon that went to 
David so that David would send Tamar to Amnon. And it's Absalom 
who goes to David so that David will send Amnon to Absalom. Matthew Henry comments on this. 
He says both incidents, the Amnon situation, the rape of Tamar 
and the murder of Amnon, he says both incidents were great griefs 
to David. and the more because he was unwittingly 
made accessory to both by sending Tamar to Amnon and Amnon to Absalom. In some respects, he had a hand 
in it. Now, it was unwitting. He was 
not complicit in the sense that he knew what was going on, but 
it certainly was an awkward position for David to be in as the one 
who sent Tamar to be raped by Amnon and the one who sends Amnon 
to be butchered by Absalom. Again, He didn't know that, he 
didn't mean to, but I think the text is indicating something 
of that sword not departing from David's house, directly connected 
to the fact that David had brought this on to his own family. Now 
note the execution of his plan in verses 28 and 29. He commands 
them to murder Amnon. I mean, the Geneva Bible says, 
you know, men in authority think that they should be obeyed whenever 
they say anything. And that's precisely what we 
have here. Now, Absalom had commanded his servants, verse 28, watch 
now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to 
you, strike Amnon, then kill him. He commands them to murder 
Amnon. Amnon had it coming to him, I 
understand that, he had sinned, a grievous sin, he had broken 
the law in Israel, but he deserved to die at the hand of the governing 
authority and not at the hand of Absalom's henchmen. Notice 
as well, he encourages them with language that sounds as if he's 
sending them out to battle with Philistines. when he's sending 
them out to do some noble, valiant thing. In fact, he uses that 
language. He says, do not be afraid. What do you mean, do 
not be afraid? Do you think this is, pardon 
the pun, overkill? I mean, the man's heart is married 
with wine. I don't think he poses much of 
a threat. You're not launching an attack 
on Osama Bin Laden's compound. You're not engaged in some military 
strategy that's going to take expert precision to carry it 
out. He's a man that is under the 
influence of alcohol. And for Absalom to say, do not 
be afraid, and then he says, be courageous and valiant. I think it drips with irony. 
I think it's palpable. I mean, what is involved here 
is a very cowardice and a very lawless act, and he tells them 
to be courageous and to do it with valiancy. That's absolutely 
horrendous, the sorts of things that he is commanding in this 
particular instance. John Gill said, it is very reasonably 
supposed that Absalom had not only in view to revenge the rape 
of his sister, but to get himself next heir to the crown. And if 
that was the case, you could see the vested interest in the 
servants in carrying this out. Because if Absalom assumes the 
throne in Israel, well then, he'll remember those servants 
that did that nasty deed of disposing Amnon. So you see how it all 
sort of jives together and fleshes itself out. And then in verse 
29, so the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, 
and each one got on his mule and fled. And just a bit of a 
foretaste, we're going to draw out some lessons later, but you 
really see how sin begets sin, don't you? You really see how 
it just opens the door for further instances of sin. And this is 
why we are told to cut sin off, or actually to resist temptation, 
not to act upon it, not to give into it, and specifically when 
it comes to hatred and anger. What does Paul tell us in Ephesians 
4.26? Paul is conspicuous that we're 
not to let the sun go down on our anger, nor give place to 
the devil. Guess what Absalom did? He let 
the son go down on his anger for two long years. And in so doing, he gave place 
to the devil. And so that sin of hatred and 
the anger that he harbored for that two long years, ultimately 
was fleshed out in the execution of his brother. Again, not an 
innocent man, but a man under the influence of alcohol and 
a man that was murdered outright as a result of someone who didn't 
have the sort of self-control that Amnon himself didn't have. 
If you look back in chapter 13, when you study Amnon, what's 
his problem? He's not governing his passions. He's not watching over his heart. 
He is not restraining himself from wickedness. He's not practicing 
self-control. Well, the apple doesn't fall 
far from the tree because that's the same thing that Absalom is 
doing. Again, they don't have the best model in terms of at 
least practical religion with David because David is functioned 
in an ungoverned and in an ungodly way when he lay with Bathsheba 
and when he murders Uriah. You see, sin is nasty business, 
and the moment that we entertain it just a little bit, and we 
don't cut it off at the root, it's going to grow. Does any 
of us doubt that? Has any of us ever had an experience 
with sin where it just had its little way with us, and then 
it was done, and it ran off, and it was okay to live on it? 
No, it always wants the uttermost, doesn't it? John Owen says something 
in Volume 6, a volume I think everybody should read, by the 
way. Something to the effect that, you know, every lustful 
look would end in utter adultery, if not checked. Every angry thought 
or every thought of bitterness would end in murder. Every doubt 
would end in utter atheism if not checked and stopped. And 
I suspect Owen knew the human heart quite well because he knew 
his Bible. And we need to understand that 
and appreciate that and see that right here fleshed out with Absalom. He let the sun go down on his 
anger. Now, that may not be our experience, 
where we, you know, bide our time for two long years, and 
then we throw a sheep-shearing party, and we invite our arch-nemesis, 
and we dispatch... No, that may not be our issue. 
But when husbands and wives let the sun go down on their anger, 
when parents and children let the sun go down on their anger, 
when friends let the sun go down on their anger, what does it 
do according to Ephesians 4.27? It gives place to the devil. 
This is the reality, and we need to appreciate that. We need to 
see it in the heart and life of Absalom. Two years the guy 
harbored this. Two years he plotted. Two years 
he planned. The time was right. He asked 
the king, he sends Amnon, and done. It's over. Brethren, we 
have to learn from passages like these. We're not moralizing the 
tax. We're not looking at Absalom as the moral lesson that we all 
ought not to follow. But we would be fools not to 
see the consistency in our own hearts and in our own lives with 
what goes on in passages like these. But for the grace of God, 
we don't sit on our anger for two years and actually murder 
somebody. But for the grace of God, we 
don't get up on our roof and see some woman bathing, and then 
send for her and take her for ourselves, and then murder her 
husband in order to cover it up. But for the grace of God, 
we're not in it. We don't have our sister Tamar. 
We don't engage in incestual rape. But for the grace of God, 
brethren, It's not because we're champions of morality or we're 
exponents of virtue, but rather it is because God in His grace 
is merciful to us. So we ought to learn the lessons 
from men like Absalom. We ought to learn from Amnon. 
We ought to learn from Jonadab. With friends like Jonadab, you're 
going to be in big, big trouble. Get away from the Jonadabs in 
your lives. You don't need crafty men or 
wise men who have no principle. You don't need crafty men who 
are not righteous men. You need righteous, godly, wise 
men and women in your lives. So all of these men, and even 
David, All of them are examples of how not to be and who not 
to surround yourself with. It's unfortunate. Chapter 13, 
as I mentioned last week, is a godless chapter. It's godless 
in terms of the conduct of its players, and it's godless in 
terms of the fact that God is not mentioned, they don't look 
to Yahweh, they don't ask for help, there's no counsel being 
sought, there's no prayer being given, there's no worship being 
offered to Him. It is godlessness fleshed out 
through the lives of sinful people. Now notice the reaction of David 
in verses 30 to 33. He first hears an exaggerated 
report. And it came to pass, while they 
were on the way, that news came to David, saying, Absalom has 
killed all the king's sons, and not one of them is left. You 
can see why David responds the way that David responds, right? 
I mean, this is terrible news, especially in light of 2 Samuel 
chapter 7. Remember, God made a promise 
to David that of his seed there would be one who would sit upon 
the throne, his kingdom would reign forever and ever. So David 
remembers this promise called the Davidic covenant in 2 Samuel 
7, that he would have an heir, that he would have a seed, that 
one would reign on his throne. And here he hears that all of 
his sons are dead. This certainly throws him into 
a tailspin at this particular spot. So the king arose, verse 
31, and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his 
servants stood by with their clothes torn. The storytelling 
here, the way the narrative is created is just brilliant. I 
mean, isn't this exactly what Tamar does after she is raped? 
She tears her clothes, and we see the same sort of thing in 
this instance. David hears this terrible news 
that all of his sons are killed, and so he tears his garments, 
he lays on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their 
clothes torn. So David responds, he reacts 
to the very news that he has received that all his sons are 
dead. apparent, are gone. And so he responds accordingly. 
Then Jonadab, verse 32, the son of Shimea, David's brother, so 
it's David's nephew, answered and said, let not my lord suppose 
they have killed all the young men, the king's sons, for only 
Amnon is dead. Aren't we glad that we have Jonadab 
here to narrate and weave the tale for us? I mean, you know, 
all of them are terrible in this chapter, but Jonadab is a special 
type of terrible. Amnon is governed by his lust. Absalom is governed by his vengeful 
spirit. Jonadab just plays the field. He'll be whoever you want him 
to be. Jonadab, you know, would have been perfect in any political 
cabinet today. He would be, you know, the archetype 
of political office in our own generation. But notice, he says, 
do not be afraid, do not suppose that they've killed all the young 
men, the king's sons, for only Amnon is dead. Now, notice at 
the end of verse 32, for by the command of Absalom, this has 
been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. So that indicates that Jonadab 
knew the plan, doesn't it? Or at least hints at the fact 
that he knew the plan. Matthew Henry makes this comment 
concerning Jonadab. And Matthew Henry is free, by 
the way. If you don't have Matthew Henry, get Matthew Henry. It's 
a great commentary on every verse in the Bible. So if you ever 
have a question, I wonder what this means. I'm not saying he's 
always got the right answer, but he'll put you in the ballpark, 
and sometimes getting in the ballpark is helpful. If you can 
just get into the ballpark of a particular text, and you start 
praying through it, and thinking through it, and musing on it, 
and you see what Henry says, and John Gill's also free, and 
I would recommend him even more so. then you're in the ballpark 
with two good men, and you're hopefully going to get some help. 
But here's what Henry says. What a wicked man was he, John 
Adab, if he knew all this, or had any cause to suspect it, 
that he did not make David acquainted with it sooner. That means might 
be used to make up the quarrel, or at least that David might 
not throw Amnon into the mouth of danger by letting him go to 
Absalom's house. So if Jonadab knew this for the 
two years that the plan was hatched or cooking or brewing in Absalom's 
heart, Matthew Henry's right. What a wicked man. He could have 
headed this off at the pass. On the one hand, Absalom, we 
understand you're angry, you're upset, you hate him in your heart, 
but you can't do this. They could have used that time 
to talk him off the ledge and stop him from doing what he was 
going to do. Henry goes on, if we do not our 
utmost to prevent mischief, we make ourselves accessory to it. It is well if Jonadab was not 
as guilty of Amnon's death as he was of his sin. Such friends 
do those prove who are hearkened to as counselors to do wickedly. He that would not be so kind 
as to prevent Amnon's sin would not be so kind as to prevent 
his ruin. See what he's saying? This is 
a wretched man and a man that you don't want as a friend. If 
Jonadab wasn't concerned enough for Amnon to stop him from engaging 
in incestual rape, then he doesn't care enough to stop him from 
getting a knife in the belly or however the servants carried 
it out. He didn't care about Amnon. He 
doesn't care about Absalom. He doesn't care about David. 
The Jonadabs of this world, they care about the Jonadabs of this 
world. They care about themselves. They're shrewd, they're crafty, 
they're cunning, they're wise, but there's no principle, there's 
no righteousness, there's no integrity, there's no loyalty, 
there's no fidelity. You see, just because a man is 
wise doesn't mean anything. Wisdom must be coupled with all 
those other virtues to make it a good thing. He goes on to say, 
or he says, he that would not be so kind as to prevent Amnon's 
sin would not be so kind as to prevent his ruin, when it should 
seem he might have done both. And then finally, notice the 
flight of Absalom in verses 34 to 39. Then Absalom fled. Why do you 
think Absalom fled? Because he knew he broke the 
law. He knew that what he did was wrong. Gil makes this observation. He says, he who promised his 
servants protection could not protect himself. I mean, didn't 
he tell his servants, don't be afraid, be courageous, be valiant. 
What's the implication? I'll take care of you. I'll protect 
you. I'll watch over you. I'll make 
sure everything's good for you. He who promised his servants 
protection could not protect himself, and who no doubt fled 
with him. He knew what he had done was 
death by law, and that there was no city of refuge for such 
sort of murder as this. And he had no reason to hope 
the king would suffer so foul a crime as this to pass on Punished 
remember the cities of refuge there were several of them in 
the nation of Israel and the cities of refuge were places 
Where persons who had committed manslaughter they had committed 
homicide, but not murder They could flee to these cities of 
refuge and there find safe haven they would be protected They 
would not be executed for this particular act remember the Bible 
makes a distinction between homicide or manslaughter rather and murder 
Manslaughter is when you accidentally kill somebody. The biblical illustration 
is you're chopping wood in your backyard and the axe head flies 
off and it buries itself in your neighbor's head. You didn't mean 
to do that. I mean, you were a bit... not 
cautious and not checking the axe head, I mean, maybe you could 
be done for that, I don't know, but it flies off, hits your neighbor, 
that's manslaughter, you killed him, it's homicide, but you didn't 
have malice aforethought, you didn't premeditate it. The alternate 
example or the illustration of murder is that you lie in wait 
for him, you hide in his bush with your axe ready to roll, 
and when he pops up, you smack him and you murder him. Well, 
the cities of refuge were for those guilty or those who had 
engaged in manslaughter. There's no city of refuge for 
a murderer. What does old covenant law demand 
for murder, for the crime of murder? It demands death, not 
murder. Don't ever say murder. To execute 
a criminal offender is not murder. That is a legitimate expression 
of violence. There are three of them in scripture. The capital punishment, self-defense, 
and legitimate war. So it's not murder to kill somebody 
on a battlefield. It's not murder to execute a 
criminal offender that deserves it. And it's not murder if somebody 
breaks into your house tonight and they try to hit you with 
an axe, but you wriggle it out of their hands and give them 
a whack. That's self-defense. It's not 
murder. Murder includes malice. It includes 
premeditation. And as we apply that grid to 
Absalom, he is the textbook character. Two years of premeditation. There's no court in Israel that 
would let him out on a technicality. He was guilty and he knew it. 
So he left. He fled from there. Now notice. What we find, verse 35, Jonadab 
said to the king, look, the king's sons are coming. This is from 
verse 34. And then notice what Jonadab 
says here, as your servant said, so it is. Ah, this guy just bugs 
me. That's a little self-exaltation, 
isn't it? This guy loves himself, as your 
servant said, so it is. Gil says, he seems to applaud 
himself and exult at his penetration and foresight. I'm actually the 
brains of this operation, David, so, you know, just calm down. 
The king's sons are coming, as your servant said, so it is. Verse 36, so it was as soon as 
he had finished speaking that the king's sons indeed came, 
and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all 
his servants wept very bitterly. Now Absalom fled to family. Absalom fled to his maternal 
grandfather. If you go back to 2 Samuel 3, 
it indicates who David's sons were by the various wives he 
had. And Maacah was the daughter of 
Telmai, who was the son of Gesher. Absalom has this connection to 
Gesher, so he flees there. It's outside of David's jurisdiction, 
and so he goes and he finds safe haven there for three years. Now notice verse 39. It says, 
"...and King David longed to go to Absalom, for he had been 
comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead." It's kind of a 
puzzling verse at this particular point. I think there's a couple 
of ways we can understand it. The way it's in the New King 
James. And then what our margin has, there's a gloss or a variation 
on this particular text. And did David long to go to Absalom 
in the sense that he couldn't wait to be reconciled to him 
or see him again? you know, restart their father-son 
relationship? I mean, it had been three years. 
The text specifies that his heart was now comforted concerning 
Amnon. That doesn't mean it was okay, 
but three years, you do move on. And so does David now long 
to go and be with Absalom, or as the margin says, did he cease 
to pursue after him? Did he stop wanting to find Absalom? Did he just cut his losses with 
that son and say he's with Gesher and we just don't, you know, 
we aren't going to move on anymore. Note 14.1, there's a bit of a 
translation issue here too. So Joab, the son of Zariah, perceived 
that the king's heart was concerned about Absalom. So, what follows 
then in chapter 14 is Joab's design to get David and Absalom 
back together. So, that being the case, when 
we get to verse 39, when it says he longed to go to Absalom, that 
doesn't necessarily mean everything was hunky-dory. It doesn't mean 
everything was absolutely, positively wonderful. because then in chapter 
14, Joab wouldn't have had the labor to try and get them together. Robert Vanoy says something to 
this effect. He says, If 14.1 is translated 
as he longed to see Absalom, not trying to be confusing, but 
it'll probably come up in 14. Why in the world, if David was 
longing to see Absalom according to 13.39, doesn't he just go 
see Absalom? Why does Joab have to send to 
this woman from Tekoa and have her go to David and try to, you 
know, grease the wheels of progress to bring these two men together? 
You see, it will come up if you're, you know, reading the text and 
thinking through things like that. So I just want to try and 
head that off at the pass. He says, if it's translated long 
to see, then there would be no need for Joab's elaborate scheme 
to secure Absalom's return to Jerusalem as reported in 14.1-20. This, however, is not as clear 
as it might seem. There appears to have been a 
deep ambivalence in David's heart concerning how to deal with Absalom's 
murder of Amnon and his self-imposed exile. It is possible that Joab 
perceived this ambivalence and decided that the best course 
of action was to push David toward reconciliation." I think that 
probably, I don't know how much ambivalence, I don't know that 
I'm with Vanoi there, but I think I see the flow. if David is longing 
for him in verse 39. I don't think there's anything 
wrong with keeping that translation and then seeing in 14 that Joab 
just wants to prod him so that he will rejoin with Absalom. So, you may be thoroughly confused 
over that last seven minutes. Sometimes those textual things 
are helpful for me as I try to stay rooted in the context and 
what's going on. But let's close with just a few 
observations on this passage. In the first place, I think we've 
picked on Jonadab not enough. If you have a friend like Jonadab, 
it might be best to cut bait. He's not a good influence for 
you. He's not a good person. Crafty, wise, shrewd, but without 
integrity, without fidelity, without kindness, without the 
things that the Bible enjoins, is consistent with wisdom. It's not enough to just have 
the answers. We need to have the answers with 
Christian grace and with virtue and with love and kindness and 
with a genuine desire to do good things. Jonadab was in a situation. Now, he did not necessarily knowingly 
facilitate rape, but he necessarily knowingly facilitated a situation 
where there would be an intimate encounter. He set it up in such 
a way, or he told Amnon to set it up in such a way that Tamar 
would be in his bedroom. Again, I don't want to pin rape 
on Jonadab, but Jonadab was certainly guilty of facilitating this intimate 
meeting between Amnon and Tamar. We get down into our passage 
tonight, and Jonadab, at least from what we read, had an idea 
of what was going on with reference to Absalom's intention with reference 
to Amnon. And he never stops to intervene. 
He never seeks to try and help. He never tries to put himself 
into the situation to stop men from engaging in utter wickedness. 
Solomon will say in Proverbs, My son, if sinners entice you, 
do not consent. Certainly don't be their friends. 
Don't be the kinds of people that surround yourself with that 
sort of influence. The Bible is very clear that 
Jonadabs are the type of people in our lives that corrupt good 
morals. And if you have a Jonadab in 
your life, cut them out. I don't mean do it the way Absalom 
did it with Ammon, but you cannot continue with ungodly people 
because they will drag you down. As well, secondly, we ought to 
consider Absalom. He responds to this situation 
with hatred. Again, on a level, brethren, 
all of us can identify with. We get it, right? I mean, your 
sister's raped. You don't want to throw a parade 
for the rapist. There's a hatred element. There's 
an anger element. There is this longing, because 
I think Well, I don't think, I know we're created in the image 
of God. God is a God of righteousness, God is a God of justice. For 
the believer to cry out for God's justice and righteousness to 
be poured out on the heads of a vile offender, I think that's 
legit. But it's what he does with that 
hatred, it's what he does with that anger that ruins him. He 
nurtures hatred for two years. Can you imagine that? Just biding your time. I wonder 
if we do that, though. I wonder. We may not be, Absalom, 
about to dispatch Amnon into the next world, but do we harbor 
bitterness, anger, malice, strife for two years, for three years, 
for four years? We break relationships. We never 
seek reconciliation. We don't try to fix it. We don't 
try to mend it. We've gone through this in our 
studies in the Confession, the whole process of church discipline. 
Is church discipline in the Bible so that we can be mean to people? 
Absolutely not. Church discipline is in the Bible 
so that we can have fellowship and closeness and reconciliation 
with people. It's a process that the believing 
people of God are to employ. They're not to resist it. They're 
not to be afraid of it. They're not to nurture hatred 
toward a brother for whom Jesus died because they're too afraid 
to go to them. or they're too afraid to let 
sin cover a multitude of sins, or they're too afraid or too 
proud rather to just go out and deal with sin the way they should. 
If you've got a bitter, vengeful spirit in your heart, or you're 
a bitter, vengeful spirit, take it to Absalom and say, hey, this 
is the outcome of this sort of thing. He bides his time until 
revenge could be executed. He plots with malicious intent. I mean, the whole sheep-shearing 
thing. I just have this picture of him at home with his calendar. 
When kids are little and they have a special event, they make 
those chains and they rip off one a day. Mom might say, well, 
four more sleeps until the big day. That's how I see Absalom. He is chomping at the bit, but 
he's biding his time. He's careful. He's going to nurture, 
He's going to harbor, He's going to contain that hatred and anger, 
but it will be spent, it will be fleshed out. He commands His 
servants to murder Amnon. As we have seen, the act of sin 
begets acts of sin. It's just the nature of the case. 
Acts of sin begets acts of sin. When David commits adultery with 
Bathsheba, he doesn't stop. He doesn't repent. He doesn't 
say, please forgive me, Bathsheba and Uriah. Please forgive me 
to my other one. He doesn't do that. More sin 
comes as a result. Now he's got to cover his tracks. 
He murders Uriah in order to do that. The same sort of thing 
is going on in 2 Samuel 13. Sin begets sin. As well, the 
nurturing, as I pointed out, of hatred affords opportunity 
for the devil. Be angry and do not sin, Paul 
tells us. Do not let the sun go down on 
your wrath, nor give place to the devil. James 1.20, he says, 
for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of 
God. Now we need to appreciate, as we look at this passage, and 
I'm sure all of us can find some contentment in saying, well, 
I'm not an Amnon. I got some issues, but I'm not 
an Amnon. And I've got issues, but I'm not an Absalom. And I 
got issues, but I'm not an inactive David. And I'm not a Jonadab. And I try not to be around people 
like that. But in some sense, we really 
are. I mean, it may not have been fleshed out in the same 
manner, but those seeds are in all of our hearts. That's why 
we take time to look at passages like these, because if you look 
real hard, and I hate to suggest this, but if you look real hard 
at Absalom, you might see a little glimpse of yourself if you're 
not careful. Paul tells us that prior to our 
conversion, we looked like this. For we ourselves were also once 
foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, 
living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another." Now 
Paul says that with reference to those who have been conquered 
by sovereign grace. The same Paul tells the people 
of God, actual believers, those in a church. He says, do not 
grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the 
day of redemption. If I asked you right now, you 
are not familiar whatsoever with Ephesians 4. If I said to you, 
what sins grieve the Holy Spirit? I guarantee you, you would not 
write down the sins that Paul indicates. You would say murder 
grieves the Holy Spirit. You'd say adultery grieves the 
Holy Spirit. You'd say bank robbery grieves 
the Holy Spirit. Maybe, I can't speak for you, 
but when we think of grieving the Spirit, don't we have sort 
of some benchmark sins that we know are really bad? Like when 
I was a a papist growing up and somebody on Hollywood Boulevard 
told me I was a sinner. I've never done anything really 
bad. I've never murdered or committed adultery. We somehow think that 
if we haven't murdered or committed adultery, somehow we're okay. 
Interesting that David committed murder and adultery and he was 
a man after God's own heart. God really turns things over 
by his grace. But listen, do not grieve the 
Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 
Let all bitterness, was that a major list? Grieving the Holy 
Spirit, bank robbery, yeah, adultery, yeah, methamphetamine, yeah, 
crack whores, yeah, but bitterness? Is that the sin that we deal 
with? Jerry Bridges, before he died several years, well, a few 
years ago, wrote a book called Respectable Sins. Respectable 
Sins. I love that title. What's it 
mean? We in the church have respectable 
sins. If you smoke meth, you're terrible. But if you're bitter, eh, it's 
no big deal, is it? Because everybody's bitter, right? 
It's only the really bad people that smoke meth. I typically 
think it's the other way around. God really abhors the bitter 
spirit in the hearts of his people when they shouldn't be grieving 
the Holy Spirit but loving the people of God. So he says, bitterness, 
wrath. Again, wrath there doesn't necessarily 
mean giving the order to your servants to kill Amnon. It may 
mean frowns or facial expressions or I'm not happy with you or 
whatever. Anger. I mean, who of us doesn't 
get angry? Well, this grieves the Holy Spirit. There was a time in our church, 
brethren, and it's tough to even mention it. A couple of you know. 
Back in the day, early on, I knew that they're not here anymore, 
so I'm not picking on anybody present, but there were people 
that I knew didn't get along with each other. You know how 
hard it is to try to preach the word of the living God when you 
know that so-and-so doesn't like so-and-so and so-and-so doesn't 
like... That's just not the environment to foster the ministry of the 
Holy Spirit. I mean, preaching the gospel 
with the hope that sinners get converted, we absolutely, positively 
need the Holy Spirit. Because men can't do it. We can't 
change hearts. If the Holy Spirit doesn't come, 
everybody's going to go off to hell if they're not saved. And 
so, God, send the Holy Spirit. And yet, within our own context, 
we're doing everything we can to chase him away. It just seems 
so counterproductive to me, and it seems so idiotic, because 
God gives us strategies so that this guy and this guy can get 
along together. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, 
clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice." 
Evil speaking, speaking about others, gossiping, slander. Watch Paul's positive exhortation 
in verse 32, "...and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, 
forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Again, 
you might be wondering, what in the world does this have to 
do with Absalom? The seeds in Absalom's heart 
are probably the same sorts of seeds in our heart. It's just 
a matter of, you know, what we do with those things. Cut off 
the wrath, the anger, the clamor, the bitterness, the evil speaking. 
Put it to death, brethren. It's never going to advance the 
cause of Jesus Christ. Calvin said, We have long been 
far too guilty of this kind of behavior, but we nurse this wicked 
emotion, this hatred, this anger. He says, it dominates our hearts 
and the sun goes down on it, and then the devil takes possession 
of us. But we need to get rid of everything 
which can be used to incite us to vengeance. He says, so let 
us learn not to nurse our vices, lest we give place to the devil. Don't nurse the vice. Cut it 
out. Rip it out. Destroy it. Get it? That's what God says. Remember, 
Jesus told a little story that if your right hand caused you 
to stumble, talk to your right hand and say, don't you do that 
anymore. No, he says, chop it off, metaphorically. Please don't 
chop your hands off. And please don't blog later and 
say, Butler told me. to do this. It's a metaphor to 
tell us how radically we're to deal with sin. If your right 
eye causes you to sin, well, I wonder what Jesus had in mind. 
He's in the context of lust and all that. If your right eye causes 
you to sin, pluck it out, cast it far from you. It's better 
to enter into heaven named than to enter into hell with all of 
your appendages. So we need to root it out. Let 
us learn not to nurse our vices lest we give place to the devil. 
And I love what he says here. For he already has too much advantage 
over us without our relaxing control over our emotions. Thus, 
in this matter of vengeance, let us be careful not to gratify 
ourselves in it or flatter ourselves, but rather, if someone has angered 
us, let us fight until our wicked desires for vengeance are put 
to death. If you got Calvin on 2 Samuel, 
read him on this section. It's just fantastic. And then 
finally, the responsibility of David. It pains me to have to 
bring this out because David's like one of my huge heroes. But David messed up. David messed 
up. I mean, the whole thing with 
Bathsheba and with Uriah, God through Nathan tells him in 12, 
11, and 12, this is going to happen. The sword will not depart 
from your house. Adversity will rise up from your 
own home. Guess what's going to happen 
later with Absalom? I mean, this is one good looking 
guy. This is a man whose head and shoulders, he's, you know, 
top of his head to the end of his feet. There's no blemish. 
He's gorgeous. He cuts his hair every, every 
year and the weight of it is worth 200 shekels. I mean, this 
guy's amazing. So what does Absalom do? He stands 
at the gate and usurps the kingdom itself. He leads Israel away. David has to flee from Jerusalem. 
I mean, this is the consequence for David's sin. We need to think 
through consequences of our sin. I need to think through consequences 
for my sins. Not only the consequences spoken 
by Nathan in 12.11 and 12, but the failure to execute justice 
in the rape of Tamar. Verse 21, when David heard of 
all these things, he was very angry, but he didn't do anything. Davis says he holds the office 
of a magistrate. One might say both in his kingdom 
and in his family. As both father and king, he is 
charged with maintaining justice, whether he is personally compromised 
or not. One may understand David's failure 
to act. One may not, however, excuse 
it. So Amnon remains an unpunished 
felon, Tamar languishes as damaged goods, and Absalom becomes a 
seething vigilante. Ecclesiastes, Solomon said, because 
the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, 
therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to 
do evil. When there is no government in 
terms of civil justice. This is what just pains me in 
the political debates. We never talk about punishment 
of criminals. What happened to that? I asked 
a policeman at the gym the other day. I said, if somebody actually 
gets caught for breaking these windows, do they ever get made 
to pay for them? Oh no, that's not even a thing 
anymore. I mean, wouldn't you just think if you damaged property 
and they caught you, you would have to pay it back? Don't even 
think that way. That's not even a concept anymore. 
That's just not there. I mean, vis-a-vis our building, 
right? Do you think they're sending 
us checks every time we get windows broke? Oh, the bad guy got caught 
and here's your money. No, they don't care. Because 
the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily. 
Because David doesn't do what David's supposed to do, therefore 
the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. 
Absalom's going to take matters into his own hand, and he's going 
to dispatch Amnon into the next life. Brethren, the civil authority, 
I want them not in my life like they are, but I certainly want 
them there to punish criminal offenders. That's their job. And then finally, I know that 
was a finally, but we got four minutes, so that was a pastor, 
a preacher's finally. What has finally made nothing? 
The longing for the Messiah. 2 Samuel 13. The faithful in 
Israel would have read this and they would have said, we can't 
wait till the promised one comes. We can't wait for Jesus. We can't 
wait for the one promised in Genesis 3.15. The one promised 
to us throughout Genesis. Genesis 49.10 in the Shiloh prophecy. We can't wait for that one that 
Exodus and Leviticus pointed to in terms of the sacrificial 
system. We can't wait for that one in Numbers that is the antitype 
for that brazen serpent that was raised up in the wilderness. 
We can't wait for that one that Moses spoke of in Deuteronomy 
chapter 18 as that prophet that God would raise up from among 
your brethren. Him you shall hear. We can't 
wait for that one that David was supposed to typify, and he 
does, but he doesn't do it perfectly, which that doesn't necessarily, 
you know, it's not the case that a type has to perfectly correspond 
to the anti-type. Then there wouldn't be that differentiation, 
the type types for the anti-type. But these people, reading 2 Samuel 
13, would have probably stopped, bowed in prayer, and said, Thank 
you, Lord, that one is coming that will not engage in the sorts 
of things that we have seen gone on in this particular chapter. 
And that one is the Lord Jesus Christ, who in the fullness of 
the time, God sent him forth, born of a woman, born under the 
law, in order to redeem those who were under the law. So this, 
like all of the Old Testament, at least in some respect, points 
continually forward to the Lord Jesus Christ. Well, let us pray. Father, we thank You for Your 
Word, and we thank You, God, for Your graciousness to us. 
And I pray that we would learn the lessons from Jonadab, and 
from Amnon, and from Absalom, and even David himself, and that 
we would seek by Your grace to guard our hearts against such 
things. Help us not to give place to the devil by letting the sun 
go down on our anger. Help us to deal with one another 
in faithfulness and in righteousness. and with love and kindness and 
compassion. And our Father, we thank you 
for Jesus Christ. We know that if the kingdom were 
left in the hands of men, it would certainly never have progressed. 
But in the hands of Christ, he will build his church and the 
gates of hell shall not prevail against it. We ask that you would 
go with us now and watch over us and help us, God, to honor 
you in the remainder of this week. And we pray through Christ 
our Lord. Amen.