Scripture Reading: 2 Samuel 13:1–22
2 Samuel 13, in the interest of full disclosure, this is an unsavory chapter of Scripture. It's probably not going to be the happiest Bible study that you've ever participated in. It is the record of the rape of Tamar. I want to read verses 1 to 22.
We'll take up that section tonight. God willing, the rest of the chapter next week. 2 Samuel chapter 13, beginning in verse 1. After this, Absalom, the son of David, had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, the son of David, loved her.
Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick, for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man and he said to him, why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day?
Will you not tell me? Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. So Jonadab said to him, lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand.
Then Amnon laid down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, please let Tamar, my sister, come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight that I may eat from her hand. And David sent home to Tamar, saying, Now go to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, and he was lying down.
And she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, Have everyone go out from me. And they all went out from him.
Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the bedroom that I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come, lie with me, my sister. But she answered him, No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel.
Do not do this disgraceful thing. And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.
However, he would not heed her voice, and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Arise, be gone. So she said to him, No, indeed, this evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.
But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servant who attended him and said, Here, put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her. Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king's virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.
And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her robe of many colors that was on her and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom, her brother, said to her, has Amnon, your brother, been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother.
Do not take this thing to heart. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon, neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Amen.
Introduction
Well, as I said, not a very happy chapter. It does indeed record for us the sinfulness of man. As the Bible elsewhere declares the glory of God, it certainly reveals also the sinfulness and the wretchedness and the depravity of man. So hopefully as we look at this passage tonight, we will be able to learn some things.
I think there's a lot, actually a lot of practical lessons in this section for us. But
Background on Rape and Incest
I want to, before we begin with this particular portion, first have a bit of a reminder regarding rape and incest. That's probably not why you would come to a Bible study on a Wednesday night, even uttering such a thing. But it's important that we understand what's happening in this chapter. I mean, I read it, and we read it, and we know what's going on.
There's some confusion, especially concerning a passage in Deuteronomy, that I think times like these are helpful for us to clear away, hopefully, some fog and confusion.
Deuteronomy 22: Sexual Sin Legislation
You can turn to Deuteronomy chapter 22. I think the enemies of the Lord God Most High oftentimes cite Deuteronomy 22 to try and show an inconsistency or a contradiction when it comes to legislation regarding rape. And essentially what we have in Deuteronomy chapter 22 verses 22 to 30 is a prohibition against all manner of sexual sin. In chapter 22, specifically verses 13 to 21, we have the charge of premarital unchastity.
A man takes a bride and later finds out that perhaps, or he suspects that she was unfaithful prior to their marriage. That's dealt with in verses 13 to 21. In verse 22, you see a prohibition against adultery. Again, a sin that is prohibited elsewhere in the Pentateuch.
Then you have the seduction of a betrothed woman in verses 23 to 24, the rape of a betrothed woman in verses 25 to 27, and then the seduction of a single woman in verses 28 to 29. Now here's where the contradiction appears, or at least is believed to be there by the enemies of the cross. Notice in verses 23 and 24, it's dealing with the seduction of a betrothed woman, and that it is a capital offense, it's treated as a rape, and then in the seduction of a single woman in verses 28 to 29, she is not betrothed, she's single. There's no mandate for capital punishment on the part of the man that lie with her.
And so some would say, well, it's wrong to rape a betrothed woman, but you can go ahead and rape a single woman. That's the discrepancy alleged by enemies of the Bible. And I think if you've never heard that, someday you may hear that. I think there's some faulty understanding among the people of God when it comes to this section.
So I just want to work through it a little bit so we can get an understanding of what is going on here. Notice in verses 23 to 24, it is the seduction of a betrothed woman. If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones. The young woman, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he humbled his neighbor's wife, so you shall put away the evil from among you." I made a mistake, it's the next account. that is pitted against the third.
But in this instance, notice what's going on. It is the seduction of a betrothed woman who is participating in this particular act. Betrothal was illegally binding, and the breach of it was constituted as adultery. Notice, in verses 23 and 24, she is betrothed, and then at the end of verse 24, it refers to his neighbor's wife.
So, betrothal constituted the woman as a wife to the man. In this particular instance, she's betrothed to a man. Another man finds her in the city and he lies with her. Then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones." Notice, the young woman, because she did not cry out in the city, that indicates that she was a willing participant.
If she had cried out, that would indicate that she was taken by force. The fact that she cried out, the fact that she did not seek assistance in this particular situation indicates that she was complicit in the matter, and so therefore both parties are subject to the death penalty. Notice the rape of a betrothed woman in verses 25 to 27. But if a man finds a betrothed young woman in the countryside, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die.
But she shall do nothing to the young woman, There is in the young woman no sin deserving of death. For just as when a man rises against his neighbor and kills him, even so is this matter. For he found her in the countryside, and the betrothed young woman cried out, but there was no one to save her." So you see, that instant, she cries out. It just happens to be the case.
Because they're in the countryside, there's nobody there to render support or aid to her. But she is not guilty in this instance. She is not wrong. I think at times in our culture, and there is a tendency among some to blame rape victims.
Well, that's absolutely ungodly. You don't blame a murder victim. Why would you blame a rape victim? When a man seizes a woman against her will and violates her, The Pentateuch, the law of God here, indicates that this crime of rape is just as the sin of murder, and it's a heinous and a vicious and a vile thing.
Now notice in verses 28 and 29, the seduction of a single woman. It says, if a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, so there's a difference here between that and the one preceding, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out, then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman's father fifty shekels of silver, and he shall be his wife because he has humbled her, or she shall be his wife because he has humbled her. He shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days. So you see the logic there.
In verses 25 to 27, capital punishment if a betrothed woman is raped. No capital punishment in verses 28 and 29 where an unbetrothed woman is allegedly raped. You see the difference? Everybody with me?
You get this? Because the enemies of Christ say this. They say, how come It's capital punishment for a woman who's betrothed, but when it comes to a woman who's not betrothed, all the guy has to do is marry her. That seems like a big disparity, doesn't it?
Well, if we investigate verses 28 and 29 more fully, we will see it's not a case of rape. This woman, as well, is a willing participant in this particular situation. The woman is not betrothed, but she is a virgin. Notice the verb is used here, seizes her.
It's different than the verb used in verse 25. In verse 25, we see in the man forces her and lies with her. In verse 28, he seizes her and lies with her. Now, the NIV is wrong. to interpret this as rape.
It is not rape. It's not a matter of her being forced. He seizes her. It doesn't sound like the most pleasant verb to be sure, but it's not the forcing.
And then notice the next clause. It says, are found out. If it was just the man who was engaged in criminal activity, it would say, and if he is found out. But she is a willing participant in this, so there is no disparity, there is no discrepancy, there's no crime of rape present in verses 28 and 29.
So, no problem. The Mosaic legislation is not contradictory. There's not different sets of rules for different castes in society. The law of God applies equally.
The particular instance, however, is one is a case of rape and the other is not a case of rape. As well,
Incest Prohibited in the Law
we need to understand what the scripture says concerning incest, because what we have with Tamar is not simply rape, it is a case of incestual rape. And the law of God prohibits that. Leviticus 18, 9-11. Leviticus 20, 17.
And while you're still in Deuteronomy, Deuteronomy 27, 22. just to see what scripture says concerning the background of what occurs in 2 Samuel 13. Notice in Deuteronomy 27.22, Cursed is the one who lies with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. You see, it's specific. It's not simply we both have the same parents, we both have a father or a mother in Comet, and that's what's going on in 2 Samuel 17.
So the applicability, obviously, in 2 Samuel 13 is the relationship between Amnon and Tamar. They had different mothers, but they had the same father, namely David. One man says, remarks that this brief narrative in 2 Samuel 13 contains no less than 11 repetitions on the word brother and 8 of the word sister, highlighting the family relationships of the individuals involved in the narrative. And as well, 2 Samuel 13, 14 clearly indicates the force used by Amnon in order to rape Tamar.
So that's the background, and what we find in 2 Samuel 13 is a heinous violation of God's law when it comes to this matter of sexual ethics. So back to 2 Samuel 13.
Introduction to the Four Headings
Let's look at this particular account under several headings. First, the desire on Amnon's part. Secondly, the assistance of Jonadab. Thirdly, the act committed by Amnon.
And then fourthly, the aftermath, what occurs after the fact.
Amnon's Desire
Note first the desire on Amnon's part in verses 1 and 2. After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister whose name was Tamar and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick for she was a virgin and it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. The after this goes along with what we've already seen.
Gill defines it this way. After the sin with Bathsheba his repentance for it, and pardon of it, and the birth of Solomon as a token of reconciliation. Yet after all this, the divine threatenings must take place. They had begun already in the death of the child begotten by adultery, and others here follow." Remember, God, through Nathan, said the sword would not depart from David's house.
God, through the prophet Nathan, said that there would be adversity that would rise up from David's own family, and that God, through Nathan the prophet, said that David's own wives would be publicly defiled in Israel. Sin has its consequences, and temporally we see it already enacted in this particular account. This is a result, causally, to what David had accomplished, or what David had done previously, and you cannot miss the similarities. You cannot miss the fact that Amnon rapes Tamar.
He goes into a woman that is not his wife. That is precisely what David does with reference to Bathsheba. This then incenses Absalom, who goes on a campaign to rid the earth of Ammon. Amnon.
He hatches this particular plan and later in the chapter he executes the plan by executing Amnon. The same sorts of things that David did when it came to dealing with Uriah. You cannot miss the connection that is given to us in this instance. Now notice her identification.
She is the sister of Absalom, which does mean she is the sister of Amnon by a different mother. Amnon, according to 2 Samuel 3.3, was David's firstborn son by Ahinoam, and Absalom was David's son by Maacah. And Tamar was beautiful. The text describes that for us, it indicates that for us.
And Robert Alter makes this observation, connecting it again with the scene in 2 Samuel 11. He says, the catastrophic turn in David's fortune began when he saw a beautiful woman and lusted after her. Now the curse pronounced by Nathan on the house of David begins to unfold through the very same mechanism, a sexual transgression within the royal quarters resulting in an act of murder. So the very same sort of thing that David does is fleshed out in the judgment of God in terms of David's sin or the consequences for David's sin.
Describes Amnon's love for Tamar. The chapter or the section begins with the love of Amnon for Tamar and it ends in verse 22 with Absalom's hatred for Amnon. Now we know as we work through this chapter that this is not love. We know, as we work through this chapter, that lust is not love.
Amnon is a man who's governed by his genitals. He has no desire whatsoever to express love to Tamar. There is nothing, 1 Corinthians 13-ish, about whatever it is that Amnon feels towards Tamar. He is a man with unbridled passion, a man with godless lust, a man who is desiring to satisfy that lust by using and abusing his own sister.
He is distressed over this situation. I mean, in some senses, drips with irony. Here's a man who's about to hatch an amazingly large crime, and he's just sick to his stomach, because he cannot lie with his sister. It was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.
Jonadab's Counsel
Now note the assistance of Jonadab. Jonadab in some ways is scarier than Amnon. I mean, with Amnon, what you see is what you get. With Jonadab, he's a crafty man, he's a shrewd man, he's a wise man, but he's a wise man without principle.
And that can be a very scary thing. It's like handing a chimp a monkey. You don't know where the monkey is going to point the gun and shoot. And this is what we have with Jonadab.
Note the text in verse 3. Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimea, David's brother. So he happens to be cousin to both Tamar and to Amnon. I mean, imagine having a cousin like this that facilitates a brutal rape of another cousin.
And then at the end of verse 3 it says, now, John Adab was a very crafty man. It's literally he was a very wise man. Now, the versions pick up well on it. The New King James and the ESV have very crafty.
The NIV has very shrewd. Those are good glosses on the translation, because he is wise, that is certain, and that's what the author tells us, but it's a wisdom that isn't governed. It's a wisdom that isn't hedged in. It's a wisdom that's reckless, as we see in this particular chapter, and I think as we'll learn later on.
Notice specifically, he is his friend, he is his counselor, he is a cousin to both, and he is literally a wise man. He gives this particular counsel to Amnon. And he said to him, verse 4, why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?
Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. Catch that? See what Amnon does? She's my brother Absalom's sister.
Not my sister. Not one that is close to me. He's distancing himself. Isn't this what sinners do?
There's a disassociation going on. It's his sister. It's not my sister. Because for him to say, I want to have sexual relations with my sister, Well, that just doesn't have the same ring to it that it does in this particular situation.
I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. Now, I know it's still the same, my brother Absalom's sister, but throughout the narrative, and in fact when he appeals to David, who does he say? Does he say, David, I want you to send my brother Absalom's sister? No, there it's the intimate, my sister, of course she'll send my sister to alleviate my suffering and to make those little cakes that I like and to serve me from her own hand.
I mean, it's a my sister sort of episode until Amnon wants to disassociate himself or try to distance himself from the actual wickedness of the evil that is going on in this situation. As Gil says, the more to cover his ill design upon her. I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. Now notice the continual counsel of Jonadab.
Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, please let my sister Tamar come and give me food and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand. This is the particular plan. Now it's ambiguous.
We can't conclude specifically that Jonadab is trying to set up a rape, but we can conclude that he may be trying at least to set up an intimate connection between Amnon and Tamar. I mean such that they would engage in this illicit relationship. So Jonadab He doesn't say, I think you ought to force her and rape her, but he does cook up this story so that Tamar will come along and will be alone with Amnon so that he can carry out his particular deed. The Geneva Bible says concerning Amnon's seeking counsel from Jonadab, here we see that there is no enterprise so wicked that can lack counsel to further it.
In other words, if we want to engage in wickedness, we will find counselors that will help us and aid us and abet us in executing our wickedness. Now notice,
The Act Committed by Amnon
thirdly, the act committed by Amnon in verses 6 to 14. He pretends illness. He lay down. He pretends to be sick.
And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, This indicates something of David's fidelity and David's paternal instincts. We saw in the last chapter when that child conceived in adultery was about to die, what does David do? David fasts, David prays, David goes in that state for seven days. David loved his children.
You know, when all this happens and David finds out about it, I'm going to, you know, pick on him a little bit tonight, but it hurt him. He was angry. He was very angry. If any father had heard of such goings on in his house, this would certainly be an offense to them.
But in this instance, David comes to visit Amnon as he hears that he is sick. And Amnon says, let Tamar, my sister, come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight that I may eat from her hand. As far as David is concerned, this doesn't sound fishy. I wouldn't imagine any father in this vantage point would think that he's trying to conceive a plan in order to rape Tamar or in order to have relations with Tamar.
As far as David is concerned, this is legit. Here's a sick son. The son wants his sister to come, make those cakes that he likes, feed him so that hopefully he'll get strong again. So David willingly complies.
Verse 7, David sent home to Tamar saying, now go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him. It is intriguing that he is a vital link in this whole process. It was David that dispatched Tamar to go and see Amnon. I'm certain if it were me later on, I would have mused on that and reflected upon that and thought, man, I wish I'd have never done that.
I don't know if David had that sort of a mindset later on, but it is unfortunate that David was the one who sent Amnon to his house. Now notice in verse 8, so Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house, and he was lying down. She took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight. These are called heart cakes, or the wording is heart cakes.
I don't know if they were shaped like a heart or if they were something to strengthen the heart or whatever it was, but she makes them and then she feeds it to them and then Amnon gives this particular order. Notice verse 9, Amnon said, have everyone go out from me and they all went out from him. Robert Alter links this story to the Joseph narrative and quite ably. There's a lot of parallels between the Joseph narrative and what's going on in this particular instance.
And he picks up on this phrase, have everyone go out from me. He says the identical words are pronounced by another prince-like figure, Joseph, just before he reveals his true identity to his brothers in Genesis 45.1. He says in Genesis these words preface the great moment of reconciliation between long estranged brothers. Here, they are a prelude to a tale of fraternal rape that leads to fratricide.
Fratricide, of course, is the murder of a brother. So there is a parallel but a big contrast in terms of this phrase, have everyone go out from me. The Geneva Bible makes the observation that men are willing to do in front of God what they're not willing to do in front of men. He is going to try and have relations with Tamar and he wants to excuse men, but he'll do it in the full sight of God Most High.
That's an interesting and curious thing about sinners as well. What we would never do before another human being, we will do before God Most High. We will engage in utter wickedness and depravity and acts of vile things in front of God. Persons, no, but God, yes.
And this is precisely what's happening here. He wants them to go. They all went out from him. And then Amnon says to Tamar, bring the food into the bedroom that I may eat from your hand.
Again, at this point, Tamar is not suspecting. You know, people could say, Tamar, don't go into his bedroom. As far as she knows, he's her brother and he's sick and this is medicine to help treat him. So, you know, to jump all over, you know, Tamar and say, well, you shouldn't have gone into his bedroom.
I mean, it's probably a good rule of thumb that you don't go into another man's bedroom. But in this instance, she doesn't have a clue what's going on. So Amnon invites her in and then Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to her to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, come lie with me.
Note the language. sister. Lie with me, my sister." Now it's all become apparent to Tamar what is happening in this particular instance. This is wretched. Deuteronomy 22, that's the law of God Most High.
Leviticus 18, Leviticus 20, Deuteronomy 27, 22. Incestual rape is condemned by God, and this is what Amnon desires. Well, at this particular point, he's hoping for a consensual incest. He's hoping that she will join him when he says, come lie with me, my sister.
Now, note the response of Tamar. This is brilliant, the way that she responds to him. In the first place, she reminds him of their status. She says, no, my brother.
Brother should have crushed him. I mean, he's already said sister, but obviously it doesn't mean anything to him anymore. But when he hears her say, my brother, this is a reminder of their familial status. This is a reminder of Leviticus 18, Leviticus 20, Deuteronomy 27.
You're not supposed to have relations with a brother or a sister. Notice, secondly, she entreats him. Notice, do not do this disgraceful thing. Literally, it's do not do this godless thing.
It's sort of the idea of Nabalism. Remember that fellow Nabal? We often translate it as fool. It can be translated as godless.
See, when Nabal is called a fool or when Amnon here is called a fool. It's not somebody that does foolish things, like they slam the door on their thumb, or they fall down when there's nothing in their way. It's not that kind of fool. The Bible connotes something ethical in nature.
It is a godless man. And this is her appeal to him. Do not do this godless thing. Notice, then, she highlights the shame involved in the act.
She says, where could I take my shame? So you have to understand, as we move through this particular narrative, what he does to her is essentially ruin her. She is trapped, she is ignored, she is raped, she is despised, she is banished, and ultimately she's a ruined woman. She ends up living with her brother Absalom.
Now again, in the grand scheme of things, it's not the worst thing in the world for a woman to live with her brother. I'm not suggesting that, you know, that's the end of life. But in Old Covenant Israel, what was the hope of every young Israelite girl was to get married and to have babies. I mean, that is it.
And he ruined that. He destroyed her in this particular instance, and she understood that if this occurred, if she consented, it would be a shameful thing, obviously, and it would be a lawless thing. But as well, if she does not consent and he goes through with it, it will bring great shame to her. That's why later she essentially says, don't send me away because when you send me away it's going to be even worse than what you did initially.
Again, you've got to think like an old covenant Israelite woman. We will look at that and say, you've got to run right to the police and get them checked and have CIS in there and check for evidence and deal with them. But in this instance or in this context, it was the shame that would arise that would ultimately be that which ruined her for the rest of her life. And then notice the effect upon Amnon himself.
She says, and as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel, one of the Nabals, one of the godless. You've got to think through this. Again, I think this passage highlights something to us about the strength of temptation. Notice that it can't be reasoned with.
It can't be bargained with. It can't be presented arguments in favor of not following through. There comes a point in the time when a man or a woman enters that realm of temptation when they're going to do what they're going to do. Arguments, contrary, not I would suggest that what Tamar presents here is a quite sufficient sermon on why Amnon should seek to preserve his sexual purity in the matter concerning his sister Tamar.
But no, he's got this bee in his bonnet, he's got this lust inflamed in his heart, he's got this passion that is now governing him and driving him, he won't be reasoned with. He won't listen. Doesn't matter about her shame. Doesn't matter about his shame.
Doesn't matter about her life. Doesn't matter about her future. All that matters at the moment for this wretched man is to gratify his own carnal lusts. probably take what? I don't know, how many minutes will this take?
And it will have lifelong ramifications. See, I don't think persons really think through the ramifications of sexual sin. I'm certain they don't when they shoot people in the head for no good reason either. But sexual sin seems to be rampant in our culture.
In fact, Amnon would be making music videos in our day. Amnon would be selling records in our day. Amnon would be, you know, big in iTunes on our day. I mean, isn't that the culture in so much of the popular music and movies is a celebration of gratifying the lusts? of pursuing that which is most special and most endearing to you?
You see, this temptation cannot be reasoned out of him, and he is going to engage. Notice, finally, she appeals to the king. Notice, the end of verse 13, now, therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you. Now, Tamar knew better, I suspect.
Tamar had to know Leviticus 18, Leviticus 20, and Deuteronomy 27, 22. Tamar knew it was wrong for a brother and a sister to engage in sexual sin and as well to get married. But Tamar makes this appeal probably grasping at straws. And if, for chance, Amnon snaps out of it, then when they go to the king to make this proposition, then he...
Tamar is certain that the king will, you know, put the brakes on this. You can't marry your sister, son. That's just not done in Israel. The pagans might do it, but that's not how Yahweh has called us to live and how He's called us to operate.
So she is probably grasping at straws here in order to prevent this. And so Josephus and most other commentators, Tamar is desperately struggling to prevent Amnon's rape. She is clutching at straws in an emergency and cannot be expected to speak as a paradigm of legal precision. We don't come to Tamar and say, well, don't you know about Leviticus 18 and 20?
Don't you know about Deuteronomy 27, 22? Don't you know it's wrong for us? That's not the point. The point is, she is screaming at Amnon to stop.
Stop. Stop. Don't do this sin. Don't engage in this.
We will appeal to the king. If it's his good pleasure, he will let you have me. But he doesn't stop. Sin, once it enters into the heart of a man, Nigh impossible to root out.
Well, it is impossible. Isn't that the whole reason for the gospel? I mean, Jesus didn't come to live and die and rise again because we have the ability to deal with sin. Jesus came to live, die, and rise again because we don't have the ability to deal with sin.
He came to save us from our sins and to enable us to deal with our sins in a way that is consistent. And then the center portion of the narrative is verse 14, unfortunately. I mean, if you diagram or structure this out in what's called a chiasm, where the several portions of the text sort of work together, verse 14 is the center. However, he would not heed her voice, and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her." It's a terrible crime that had been committed in David's household in 2 Samuel chapter 13.
It's a brief description. The Bible's not about celebrating wickedness and godlessness, but at the same time, it's not about not telling us about sin and depravity and wretchedness and wickedness. So that's the rape of Tamar.
The Aftermath
Now note the aftermath. Verses 15 to 17, the exchange between Amnon and Tamar. Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred. So that the hatred with which he hated her.
What's the emphasis? He hated her, so he never loved her to begin with. It was lust, vile, wicked, base lust. But the text could not be more conspicuous on how his attitude changed toward her.
Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, arise, be gone. This man is an absolute wretch. Working through this passage today, I was not a part of the Amnon fan club.
In fact, the guy really, really, really bugs me. The intense hatred he had for her. Note the complete disrespect in his dealings with her. Arise, be gone, a Jewish commentator observes. the exact antonyms in reverse order of the two imperative verbs of sexual invitation he used before.
Before it's come, lie. Now it's arise, go. I am done with you. I have gotten what I wanted from you.
I am going to hate you with a very great hatred, and that hate is going to far surpass any supposed love that I had before. I just want you out of here, is what he says to her. She makes an appeal to Amnon. Notice what he says, or she says in verse 16.
So she said to him, no indeed, this evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me. Again, I don't think she's thinking rationally at this particular point. I don't know that she thinks that, hey, we can go ahead and get married and pay the 50 shekels to dad and promise never to divorce. It almost seems like she's invoking what we saw there in Deuteronomy 22.
But it's not applicable because this was incest. You can't do this. The only thing I can reckon is that she's just been raped. She's not got all her faculty.
She's not thinking like a theologian. She's not, you know, one of the Jewish commentators, one of the Christian commentators working with the text of scripture while they're, you know, drinking coffee in the warmth of their study. She just got rained. She is shaking.
She is disgraced. She is in a bad state, but she does nevertheless make this appeal Now note what this bulwark of wretchedness does. He would not listen to her, verse 16. Then he called his servant who attended him and said, here, put this woman out away from me and bolt the door behind her.
If you have the New King James, you'll notice that woman is in italics. That means it's supplied. Literally, what Amnon says is, get this out. He doesn't even show her the respect of referring to her as a woman.
Get this out. You're starting to understand why in Deuteronomy 22 it likens the crime of rape to murder. It's just as the crime of murder. I truly believe that with every fiber of my being.
It is to murder, in a certain sense, a human being. He doesn't have the respect, the bare minimum, the shred of decency to refer to her as this woman. No, it's get this out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her. Here's a guy that was pretending to be sick, lying in his bed, whining to whoever would hear him, so that he could get Tamar to enter into his room.
And now he hates her with a very great hatred, a hatred that far surpasses the supposed love that he has, and he says, get this out and bolt the door, because I want to see nothing of her ever again. It's an absolute terrible situation that this woman faces here. Notice the conduct of Tamar in verses 18 to 19. Mourning, desolation, and living with Absalom.
Again, not the worst thing to live with your brother if that's what's got to happen, but in this instance it's a terrible thing. It's a horrible thing. Now note the response by Absalom in verses 20 and 22. In verse 20, Absalom, her brother, said to her, I think this shows some tenderness on the part of Absalom.
We're probably not going to like Absalom in a few weeks, but right now let's appreciate Absalom's kindness to his sister. Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? Not has Amnon, your brother, raped you? Not, has Amnon your brother violated you?
Not, has your brother Amnon engaged in incestual... No, he doesn't say that. He says, has your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister.
He is your brother. Do not take this thing to heart. So he minimizes, at least for the moment, the particular sin. He says, this is your brother.
Don't take it to heart. Well, we know why Absalom is doing this. Absalom has a heart full of rage, and a heart full of hatred, and a heart designed with vengeance in mind. So he wants her to stay the course, just be silent, don't make a fuss, don't go public, don't take this out into the court.
We're gonna handle this. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house, and then notice in verse 22, Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon, neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister Tamar. And that leads inevitably into the following section in chapter 13. Well, notice the response by David in verse 21.
But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. OK, that's good. He should be very angry, right? But shouldn't he do something else?
Shouldn't he punish? Shouldn't he adjudicate? Shouldn't he deal? If you notice in your margin in the New King James, the LXX, which is the Septuagint, or the Greek translation of the Old Testament, they add a clause.
Actually, it's not indicated in our margin, but it indicates that because he really loved Amnon, because he was his firstborn. It's sort of an explanatory note as to why David was angry, but he didn't do anything. I don't think the explanatory note should be there. I think the text is punctuated in such a way so that we understand and learn something about David.
When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. It was good that David would be angry, wouldn't it? I mean, if you're a father and this happened in your home, you would be very angry, I suspect. But he was unresponsive.
He didn't do anything. And he should have done something. He should have executed some justice or some judgment. I mean, isn't this what marked David's reign? 2 Samuel 8, 15, so David reigned over all Israel and David administered judgment and justice to all his people. except those in his own family, except his own precious little Tamar.
His little daughter had just been violated by his son, his firstborn son. He's very angry, and in that we congratulate you, David. And well, you should have been very angry, but you should have lowered the boom on Amnon. You should have done something.
You should have executed some of that justice and that judgment that all Israel has seen, but your own family isn't seeing. Some have suggested that David did not act because of his own lack of moral authority. In other words, how could David execute judgment in a situation that so closely paralleled his own situation? Which is a reason, brethren, why we ought to strive to maintain a conscience void of offense toward God and men.
I mean, if we're parents, we ought to seek to not be hypocrites so that we have the moral authority to impose upon them standards and bring judgment and justice to bear upon them when they violate. May it never be the case. What about you? What about you?
What about this? What about that? Perhaps that was in the back of David's mind. I have no moral authority to correct this, and so therefore I'm going to be very angry, but I'm not going to do anything about it.
Davis addresses this. He says, of course, legions of expositors say that David found himself a prisoner of his own folly. After all, how could he call Amnon to account when he himself had violated Bathsheba and eliminated her husband? Hardly a solid basis for exercising moral authority.
He says, and yet such an argument does not negate David's responsibility. He holds nevertheless the office of a magistrate, one might say, both in his kingdom and in his family. As both father and king, he is charged with maintaining justice, whether he is personally compromised or not. One may understand David's failure to act.
One may not, however, excuse it. So, Amnon remains an unpunished felon, Tamar languishes as damaged goods, and Absalom becomes a seething vigilante. You see, David had the potential to at least head off at the pass some further sin. I mean, sin had been conducted or had been executed, but had he punished it and dealt with it, it would have at least headed off at the pass the following sin when Absalom takes justice into his own hands and dispatches with Amnon and gets rid of him.
So you see David, to be commended for being very angry, but not in terms of his lack of activity. Well,
Application and Lessons
that's, as I said, a pretty unsavory chapter of Scripture when we ask the question, what can we learn from it? I hope we've learned something. But
Consequences of David's Sin
in the first place, we ought to see the consequences of David's sin and its real-life personal effects on individual people. Again, I don't think we do this. I mean, you know, when Amnon's doing what he's doing or when David's doing what he's doing, they're not thinking 10 steps down the road saying, wait a minute, if I do that, then this might happen. We need to think that way.
If I as a husband, or I as a father, or I as a mother, or I as a wife, or I as a child, or I as a worker, or I as this, or I as that, if I engage in this activity, then what's going to happen, or what is that going to mean to people down the road? I mean, Tamar's wrecked, right? She's in bad shape. The chapter does not end with her on a high and positive note.
Absalom is destined to fail. I mean, he's got rage in his heart. He's not in a good position whatsoever. Amnon is going to meet his maker in the not too distant future as a result.
See, David didn't think about that. He looked upon Bathsheba and he saw that she was beautiful and all he thought about was his lust. And then after engaging in that act of adultery, David didn't think about, well, if I continue to compound my sin, then it could mean trouble or spell trouble for my family later. No, I've got to get rid of Uriah, because Uriah is sort of a bump in the road to my happiness with Bathsheba.
You see, we need to think this way. We need to think in terms of the consequences of sin. Now, if we are actually in Christ, We are believers in Him. In terms of the eternal consequences, they have been satisfied.
The Lord Christ has bore our sin on the cross. He has satisfied divine justice through His own sufferings. That is the heart of the atonement. But brethren, as redeemed sinners, when we sin, there are oftentimes great consequences as a result.
Again, we can't take an always direct cause and effect sort of a thing. It was the case that God took the baby that was born in adultery to David and Bathsheba. He doesn't always do that. You don't find formulas applied to Yahweh.
You don't find 2 plus 2 equals Yahweh. He will baffle your mind, and He will baffle your expectations, and you need to understand that. But the general overarching principle is that when I sin, there will be consequences. It may not be public, it may not be as much a spectacle, it may not be in 2 Samuel 13 for all of our posterity to read, but there will be consequences.
So we need, by the Spirit, to mortify the deeds of the body.
Lessons from the Characters
Secondly, the lessons afforded by the characters. I think most of you know me well enough to know that I'm not the sort of guy that likes to look for moral lessons in people in the Bible. I think as they are there and they're obvious, we should take them as they are here. But the Bible's about God, it's about His glory, it's about His honor. you know, dare to be a Daniel and therefore go stand among lions.
I don't think some of that exemplary preaching is always in the right vein in terms of what's called redemptive historical preaching. But I don't think that the author wants us to miss what he's telling us about this cast of characters. In the first place, you have the godlessness of Amnon. He is filled with lust rather than love.
I mean, talk about a man governed by his lusts. You ever have, you know, a situation where you know someone or you're struggling? Amnon would be a great place to take yourself and read, this is what happens to somebody who always wants to get their way. This is what happens to somebody who can't control themselves sexually.
This is what happens to people that are not exercising the fruit of the Spirit, which is self-control. Secondly, we have the craftiness of Jonadab. He is possessed with wisdom, but he has none of the other traits to make it helpful. I mean, he's a sharp guy.
He's a bright fellow. He is wise, but it's a crafty wisdom. It's a cunning. It's a shrewdness.
John Calvin said this concerning Jonadab, Therefore, when we see that the Spirit of God stated here as a reproach that Jonadab was a prudent man, and that he so forgot himself as to be pimp for his male cousin, disgrace his female cousin, and be disloyal to his uncle the king, It warns us to pray that if God has given us some prudence, He would also add integrity and sincerity so that we may keep ourselves from craftiness. I think that's a good way to pray. If you have the smallest semblance of wisdom, pray that God will give you integrity and sincerity. Doesn't Jesus combine these two traits?
We must be gentle as what? As doves, but cunning as serpents. What happens if we're only gentle as doves? We're not going to be effective for our Lord.
What if we're cunning as serpents, but we have no gentleness? We need both. We need a good, godly, healthy mixture of those principles and traits. Thirdly, we have the inactivity of David.
He's very angry. Yes, but he is devoid of justice. He doesn't execute his role as the governor, as the king, as the legislator, as the servant of God Most High over the kingdom. He just remains inactive.
And then we have the unrestrained hatred of Absalom. He's filled with hatred. I mean, brethren, we read the text. Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Now you say, okay, that would be natural. That would be obvious. You know, you would hate him. Two years goes by.
One of the reasons why I divvied this up a little bit, because if we just go on into the text, we forget that for two years Absalom's been harboring this. For two years Absalom's strategizing. For two years Absalom's biding his time, waiting for his opportunity until he can strike and kill Amnon dead. So you see what the results of sin are and the lessons afforded by these characters.
And then
Where Is God in This?
finally, I think a question that at least Christians in the church today might be inclined to ask is, well, where is God in all of this? I mean, this is an unsavory chapter, am I right? This is a tough chapter of scripture. It is tough to work through, it's tough to talk about, it's tough to bring to people that don't typically think about incestual rape.
Brethren, where is God? I mean, this is one of those godless chapters, not just because of the conduct of godless Amnon, but because of the absence of God. There's no good from God in this passage. There's no, but they all blessed the Lord.
There's no overruling sort of statement that, but God nevertheless waved his magic wand and they all lived happily ever after. So often Christians are tempted to go, well, isn't this kind of stuff going to destroy the kingdom? Well, we know it doesn't because there's a 2 Samuel 14 to Revelation 22. So it obviously doesn't destroy the kingdom, but we ask the question, where is God in the midst of such things?
I want to read a lengthy quote from Davis because I think that he summarizes this well. Yahweh had told David that the sword would not depart from your house and that he was raising up disaster against you from your own house, 12, 10, and 11. Is this not what has begun to happen in chapter 13? See, what Davis is going to say, I'm just going to paraphrase him here, is that God is present in judgment just as much as God is present in blessing.
See, we Christians only tend to see God when, you know, showers of blessing are falling on our heads. We can't help but see God then. But those periods of darkness or judgment, we, where's God? What's happened to God?
It never dawns on us that the same God who sends showers of blessing also sends arrows of judgment. I mean, doesn't Job correct his wife this way? Job's wife is whining, moaning, grumbling, complaining, has the gall to tell her husband to curse God and die. And what does Job say?
Shall we receive blessing from his hand and not adversity? God is as much present in 2 Samuel 13 as he is in 2 Samuel 7. Listen to Davis. Many have pointed out the appropriateness of the disaster.
Amnon's sexual escapade with Tamar corresponded to David's with Bathsheba, and Absalom's contrived murder of Amnon paralleling David's of Uriah. In this sordid episode, then, Yahweh is fulfilling his word of judgment against the house of David. Humanly speaking, everything seems to be going amok, yet Yahweh is fulfilling His Word. Not that it is pleasant, anything but, yet Yahweh has not hung out a vacancy sign over His universe or His people.
He is there, bringing His Word to pass. And I love this last statement. Sometimes only that assurance keeps His people sane. So even in adversity, and even in judgment, and even in a chapter as sordid and as wretched and as vile as 2 Samuel 13, God is everywhere present.
He had promised through Nathan to bring judgment, and in 2 Samuel 13, He brings judgment. So we ought never, as God's people, to conclude or ask, where is God? We should see Him not only in the blessing, but we should see Him in adversity as well. Well, let us pray.
Closing Prayer
Father, we thank You for Your Word, and we thank You for Your graciousness to us, God. As we read accounts like these, as we read Scriptures that describe the sinfulness of man, as we reflect upon our own hearts prior to our conversion, and yea, God, even after our conversion, We are amazed at Your grace and the fact that You have saved us, the fact that You have forgiven us, the fact that You will keep us and bring us unto that blessed eternal state. And we look forward to that time when we will be confirmed in righteousness, where there will be no more sin. And we will serve You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, with all of our heart and soul and mind and strength.
May You hasten the day, Lord God. We pray with John, even so come, Lord Jesus. And we pray this in His most blessed name. Amen.