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good evening to everyone and welcome to Free Grace Baptist Church it's a joy to be back a second time in the Lord's Lord's House for his worship no announcements this evening so we'll turn in our Bibles to Psalm 2 as our call to worship this evening Psalm 2 Psalm 2 the the entirety of the psalm this is the word of God why do the Nations rage and the people plot a vain thing the kings of the earth set themselves and the rulers take counsel together against the Lord and against his anointed saying let us break their Bonds in pieces and Cast Away their cords from us he who sits in the heavens shall laugh the Lord shall hold them in derision then he shall speak to them in his wrath and distress them in his deep displeasure yet I have set my king on my Holy Hill of Zion I will declare the decree the Lord has said to me you are my son today I have have begotten you ask of me and I will give you the Nations for your inheritance and the ends of the Earth for your possession you shall break them with a rod of iron you shall Dash them to pieces like a Potter's vessel now therefore be wise o Kings be instructed you judges of the earth serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling kiss the son lest he be angry and you perish in the way when his wrath is kindled but a little blessed are all those who put their trust in him amen let's stand together and sing our first hymn is going to be 20 b 20 Bravo let's stand and sing 20b together prot you his holy you your sa and all your all in your s the Lord your all the will sing my from holy Heaven hes their the of we your and we let's go to our God In Prayer let us pray Heavenly Father we Rejoice that we can gather together this evening for the worship of Father Son and Holy Spirit the one and only living and true God we do uh praise you and thank you for this blessed opportunity this Freedom that we have to do so we pray that you would help us by your spirit to count it a high honor to gather in the name of our savior the the Lord Jesus Christ to rejoice in you our God to sing the Praises of so great A Savior and to rejoice in amazing and Victorious Grace we pray that you'd uh unto this end you'd help us now to be focused that we would by your grace and For Your Glory hallow your name in this place that we would reflect with great joy upon the saving excellencies of Jesus Christ Our Savior we thank you for the gospel of our Salvation we thank you that in the fullness of the time times you did send forth your son born of a woman and born under the law to redeem those under the law we thank you that he did come into this world Sinners to save and we know that it's a Salvation that is not half rendered by him and half by us or even in a measure offered up by us but that our Salvation comes solely and alone by amazing and Victorious grace through the Perfection of the work of our savior the Lord Jesus Christ his perfect life of obedience unto the whole law rendered in our place the place of all those who believe in that perfect salvation upon calvary's cross where he perfectly secured the salvation of a multitude which no man can number from every tribe tongue people and Nation we rejoice in So Glorious of Salvation and we also think about the resurrection that third day the Ascension where our Lord Jesus Christ ascended uh to the right hand of the Majesty on high and that he does from that blessed Vantage Point ever live to intered seed for his people we do pray that we would glory in this not only on this your Lord's day but each and every day that we draw breath we pray that you would cause us to reflect with great joy Upon Our God and upon the savior of men we pray that you'd be with us in worship help us now to uh to be in spirit and in truth worshiping father Son and Holy Spirit As we sing hymns as we pray as we read the scriptures as we engage in that Central act of worship the preaching of your word do help us to be focused help us to attend to these blessed elements of worship and we do pray as we always do Lord God that you would be exalted upon the Praises of of your gathered assembly we do pray that you be with those unable to join us or even those with us who are struggling with illness with with disease with injury uh those who are recovering from such things we pray that you would heal your people physically we pray that you would tend to their bodies and uh just knit together those various wounds and cause them to know gains and strength we do pray for the spiritual man that you would lift up each and every one of us that those who are spiritually downcast you would return to them the joy of their salvation that you would strengthen them uh in the Inner Man and cause them to know the blessings and the joy of God we do pray that you'd be with our persecuted brothers and sisters around the world as we're called to pray for them and as we joyfully ought to we pray that you'd be near to them that you would help them in the the midst of suffering help them in the midst of opposition help them in the midst of the tyranny of of governments and their fellow man cause them to rejoice in Christ to in the midst of opposition look to the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world that they would look with eyes of Faith with great courage upon uh that raised and exalted one and find their peace and their comfort and their confidence in him we do pray that you would deal with those who persecute your people that by gospel and spirit many of these would be brought to a knowledge of Jesus Christ Our Savior and that those who would remain in opposition and Rebellion you would take them out of the way we do pray that you bless your people throughout the world and that day upon Day by the preaching of the gospel and by the power of the Holy Spirit you would bring forth many dead Sinners to life and light in Jesus Christ Our Savior we pray for those who govern over us that you would cause them to do so in righteousness and in a proper equity and Justice we pray that that there would be a Time Lord God where uh the governments of the world would no longer uh rule according to their own fancies that they would no longer call virtue Vice and vice virtue we pray that there would be Justice in the lands and we do pray that unto that end you would even convert uh those who are opposed to you and also Lord God that you would take from out of rule those who are in opposition to you and replace them with those who would rule in a proper Justice we pray in the midst of uh of chaotic governments and those who rule over us that you would cause us to be faithful that you would cause us to attend unto your word and and so act and so or order our lives in obedience to God we do pray now then Lord God again that you would be with us now help Pastor Butler as he comes up here to preach in a few moments give him strength in this Pulpit to Proclaim uh with great glory and with great confidence the things of our precious God and it's in Christ's name that we pray amen let's stand again and sing this time we're going to sing 223 let's stand and sing 223 as a gathered [Music] Church adore Lord we praise our with to through all the world you worship through all the world to worship me to the allels all holy holy k for God host Mery Lord God of [Applause] glorious and [Music] pro eternal to our praise Eternal to praise to to exalted High the we worship for without [Music] for you can turn in your Bibles with me to Deuteronomy 15 Deuteronomy 15 for our Old Testament scripture reading this evening Deuteronomy Deuteronomy 15 beginning in verse one this is again the word of God at the end of every seven years you shall Grant a release of debts and this is the form of the release every creditor who has lent anything to his neighbor shall release it he shall not require it of his neighbor or his brother because it is called the Lord's release of a foreigner you may require it but you shall give up your claim to what is owed by your brother except when there may be no poor among you for the Lord will greatly bless you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess as an inheritance only if you carefully obey the voice of the Lord your God to observe with care all these Commandments which I command you today for the Lord your God will bless you just as he promised you you shall lend to many nations but you shall not borrow you shall reign over many nations but they shall not re over you if there is among you a poor man of your brethren within any of the gates in your land which the Lord your God is giving you you shall not Harden your heart nor shut your hand from your poor brother but you shall open your hand wide to him and willingly lend him sufficient for his need whatever he needs beware lest there be a wicked thought in your heart saying the seventh year the year of release is at hand and your eye be evil against your brother and you give him nothing and he cry out to the Lord against you and it become sin among you you shall surely give to him and your heart should not be grieved when you give to him because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and all to which you uh in all to which you put your hand for the poor will never cease from the land therefore I command you saying you shall open your hand wide to your brother to your poor and your needy in your land if your brother a Hebrew man or a Hebrew woman is sold to you and serves you six years then in the seventh year you shall let him go free from you and when you send him away free from you you shall not let him go away empty-handed you shall supply him liberally from your flock from your threshing floor and from your wine press from what the Lord your God has blessed you with you shall give to him you shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt in the Lord your God redeemed you therefore I command you this thing today and if it happens that he says to you I will not go away from you because he loves you and your house since he prospers with you then you shall take an all and thrust it uh thrust it through his ear to the door and he shall be your servant forever also to your female servant you shall do likewise it shall not seem hard to you when you send him away free from you for he has been worth a double hired servant in serving you 6 years then the Lord your God will bless you in all that you do all the firstborn males that come from your herd and your flock you shall sanctify to the Lord your God you shall do no work with the firstborn of your herd nor Shear the firstborn of your flock you and your household shall eat it before the Lord your God year by year in the place which the Lord chooses but if there is a defect in it if it is lame or blind or has any serious defect you shall not sacrifice it to the Lord your God you may eat it within your Gates the unclean and the clean person alike may eat it as if it were a gazelle or a deer Only You shall not eat its blood you shall Pour It On The Ground like water amen let us pray Heavenly Father we thank you for this the reading of your holy scriptures we thank you that we can Avail of your word to the sons of men we thank you as we see in the this passage that chapter after chapter page after page your word does Point forth to Christ upon the cross working out the salvation of men as we see this spot the spotlessness of your commanded sacrifice it it draws our Christian Minds to that lamb without blemish and without spot who gave himself upon calvary's cross sacrificing himself for the sins of a multitude which no man can number we thank you that we as Christians Avail of that sacrifice we pray that you would cause us to reflect with great joy again upon the the saving work of Jesus Christ Our Blessed Redeemer and we pray Lord God that you would wash us aresh cleanse Us aresh in the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ do forgive us of our sins we thank you that you are faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness and we do pray that we would as we continue in worship return Praises unto you for so so perfect and for so merciful a work we pray that you'd be with us now unto the praise of your glorious Grace and we pray in Jesus Christ Our savior's name amen our last hymn then before the preaching of the word is 128b that's 128 Bravo to a familiar uh to a familiar tune let's stand and and sing that together walking ever in his way by shall be prosper and be happy home in your you [Music] shall shall F your home with good happy in her loing service and of children sons and daugh your table all bless strength and beauty full of and pro shall bless our to you [Music] his shall seeing Prosper all your shall you shall see your children children your [Music] you can turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Ephesians as we work our way through Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus we're in Ephesians chapter 5 considering the responsibilities of husbands toward their wives our Focus will be verses 28 to 33 but I do want to begin reading in chapter 5 at verse 15 Ephesians 5 beginning in verse 15 see then that you walk circumspectly not as fools but as wise Redeeming the time because the days are evil therefore do not be unwise but understand what the will of the Lord is and do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation but be filled with the spirit speaking to one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and Mak melody in your heart to the Lord giving thanks always for all things to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting to one another in the fear of God wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of Water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh excuse me but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord Lord does the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ in the church nevertheless Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband amen well let us pray Father in heaven we thank you for this Lord's day we thank you for the privilege to gather again in your house and to come to you we thank you for your mercy your grace your loving kindness we thank you for the redeeming work of our Lord Jesus on our behalf and for this great salvation that we enjoy by your grace we ask that you would bless our time now that you would instruct us from Holy Scripture that your spirit would guide and direct us that it that as men as husbands in our local body we would receive this teaching that by your grace and the according to the power of the spirit we would put it into practice and that you would bless our families cause us to truly reflect what it is for for a wife and a husband to function in a manner like the church and her Lord forgive us now for all of our sins and unrighteousness cleanse Us in that precious blood of the lamb and again sustain us and give us an a ability to carry out these things not so that we may be saved but because by Grace we are saved and this is our our a reasonable service unto our holy God and we ask your blessing in Jesus holy name amen well remember we're in the Practical part of Paul's letter to the Ephesians and specifically Paul wants us to walk in particular ways he gives a general sort of admonition in chapter 4 at verse one walk according to the calling with which you've been called and then he prohibits us from walking as the Gentiles in chapter 4 at verse 17 and then in chapter 5 there's emphasis on three things first we're to walk in love 52 we're to walk in light 58 and here we're supposed to walk in wisdom according to chapter 5 and verse 15 he gives a general admonition or exhortation concerning that and then in verse 18 he tells us he exhorts us specifically to be filled with the spirit and then he indicates or underscores what it looks like to be filled with the Holy Spirit we will speak to one another in Psalms hymns and spiritual songs we will sing and make melody in our hearts to the Lord we will be thankful to God for all all things through our Lord and then we will submit to one another in the fear of God so verse 21 is sort of a general overarching concern and then in verses 22 to chapter 6 and verse 9 he gives specific concrete applications and in our section wives and husbands in the next section children and hus uh children and parents and then in the final section in this section he deals with servants and Masters so as I said we find ourselves in the argument now concerning wives and husbands remember the wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord he points to the the situation or rather the relationship between Christ and his church verse 23 for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything and then he directs his attention most of of his attention here in this section to the husbands about 34s more in this section is directly affecting the man the husband in the relationship in verses 25 to 27 he looks at redemption in particular husbands are to love their wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her in the section we're considering tonight in verses 28-33 he looks at creation so we've got the category of redemption what happens in terms of special Revelation and special Grace and then he turns his attention to what what I'll call the one flesh argument and that is what his concern is in verses 28-33 remember that he speaks realistically he speaks to husbands who have rule or government or leadership in the home he speaks to them to temper that government with love he speaks to wives as we saw this morning if you take that interpretation and Genesis chapter 3 her desire will be to usurp Authority and so she needs to be reminded to be submissive to her own husbands a husband as unto the Lord he speaks particularly this isn't why or women to men in general but it's wives to their own husbands and it's husbands to their own wives as well he speaks authoritatively as Christ's Apostle what he says here is non-negotiable you can't come to this passage and say well I think my wife has far better gifts than I do so she's going to be the head of our family she's going to wear the pants in our family no that is an ungodly bib unbiblical sort of assumption or imposition you are to take the word of God you are to take the authorit authoritative word of the Apostle Paul and you're to appropriate it in your life and then last week I mentioned that he speaks consistently and by consistently I mean in reference to the Book of Genesis in other words God's intention with the created order with that Old Testament background in view that's how he deals with this particular argument remember the husband's leadership role is not argued for it is rather assumed again notice in verse 23 for the husband is head of the wife he doesn't deliberate he doesn't set forth the parameters if he's gifted if he's solid if he's able now the husband is he's either a good one or he is a bad one I guess there is a Continuum he might be an okay one but the bottom line is is he is the leader he is the head in his home and so as we approach specifically verses 28-33 I want to look as I said at the argument from creation and I've got four things I want to consider first the explanation of the one flesh argument in verse 28 secondly the implication of the one flesh argument in verses 29 to 30 third the affirmation of the one flesh argument in verse 31 he goes back to the Book of Genesis and then the application of the one flesh argument in verses 32 and 33 but let's take up first the explanation of the one flesh argument there from verse 28 notice he says so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies they are the head they are the governor they are the ruler not in some dictatorial tyrannical way if you read Paul rightly you'll notice that that is not the conclusion rule from your easy chair pound the arm and tell your wife what she is supposed to do know that leadership is to be regulated by love as John EDI says husbands are not to be domestic tyrants but their Dominion is to be a reign of love that's the apostles emphasis so in verse 28 so husbands ought to love their own wives notice as their own bodies now specifically last week I just tried to sketch the nature of that love and I'll run through it quickly first the definition of love in a general sense 1 Corinthians chapter 13 the great love chapter that should govern our conduct relative to Every Creature but in particular a husband to his wife as well the characteristics of love in the marriage Union as far as the husband is concerned with reference to his wife he is to be Faithfully monogamous he is to be consistently self-sacrificing and he is to be joyfully committed to her well-being now in terms of the Practical day in day out how does that look he prays for her that means he tends to her spiritually not only prays for her but reads scripture with her prays with her brings her to church make sure that she's being cherished and nourished and all the things that we see stipulated in this particular passage he provides for her he's not a deadbeat he's not you know honey I want you to go out on the streets today and beg for our dinner no he's to Pro provide for her Paul says in 1 Timothy Chapter 5 if a man does not provide for his own he's worse than an Infidel he's denied the faith he's a Defector he is not one that is walking consistently with his uh confession and then he protects his wife I mentioned JL sturdy girl had the ility with the tent Peg still you're not to send her downstairs if an intruder comes it's your job to protect your wife it's your job to care for her it's your job to tend to her now as he makes this statement he says so husbands ought to love their own wives and then notice as their own bodies and then he goes on to say he who loves his wife loves himself and again Brethren he's going to confirm that special Revelation speaks the same thing but this is what we would call a light of nature thing this is something that is true and available to man as man this isn't something unique only to Christianity we bear God's image there's a sense where we can look at the world around us and glean certain truths that God has built in to the world's structure and as we move through the passage we'll notice there's no war against nature and Grace there's no disharmony between special Revelation and general Revelation what the book of nature teaches us the book of God confirms and so Paul appeals to this and he says so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself so the principle is in nature remember that in the Genesis account what we have in terms of God making Eve and bringing Eve to Adam is paradigmatic or it is a pattern not just for believers but it's for All Creatures everywhere so it's not the case that a man who's a pagan and a wife who's a pagan can say well I can go ahead and rebel against God and do whatever it is I want no this is God's instruction for creature as creature and Paul appeals to this as something that is inate something that you know something that is built in you because you are an image bearer of the Living God notice the argument husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself we don't question that we don't say well that seems so odd now that's not just because we're Christians but again outside of Christianity within Heathen heathendom within paganism I know there's a lot of abuse there's unfortunately abuse within Christianity as well there is nevertheless this principle there is nevertheless this lesson taught in the book of nature that a man is to love his wife a man is to care for his wife a man is to tend to his wife a man is to provide for his wife but that principle is not only stated in the light of nature it's a principle according to scripture and again note the harmony between special and general Revelation Leviticus 19:18 in Leviticus 19 I would call that the great love chapter in the old Covenant it is something akin to 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the New Covenant but in Leviticus 19:18 we read you shall not take Vengeance nor bear any grudge against the children of your people but you shall what love your neighbor as yourself when Jesus is quizzed on the greatest commandment in the law he rattles off first that Duty toward God you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart soul mind and strength and then he invokes this principle from Leviticus 19 the second is like it love your neighbor as yourself James chapter 2 at verse 8 he says if you really fulfill the Royal law of script uh according to the scripture you shall love your neighbor as yourself you do well so the principle is taught in nature or in creation the a principle is taught in scripture thirdly the principle does not condone narcissism narcissism is self-love and if we read that passage we might conclude that if we're not thinking biblically we might say man love man loves himself you think of narcissist in Greek mythology narcissist was a was a hunter and narcissist was a beautiful beautiful man I don't like to use beautiful and man it feels odd and weird but little bit of research I did that's how it described him beautiful man a handsome man a a stunning man well he refused all the advances that were made at him the only one that was intriguing to him was himself when he' looked in the water and it reflected his Beauty he became enamored he became in love with that reflection well obviously that never goes well but that's where we get the word narcissism it means self- love self adoration this this cherishing and nourishing that goes far and above and beyond what the Apostle is speaking here or what Moses is speaking in the law of God it is a legitimate desire for self-preservation it is a legitimate desire for self-preservation and self-promotion not I want to be the best that I can possibly be but I'm not going to ingest arsenic I'm not going to stand on a train track I'm not going to jump off high buildings I'm going to try and preserve myself cuz at some level I love myself and I don't want me I don't want me to die that that's what the Apostle is talking about and then the principle applies to all horizontal relationships but especially a husband toward his wife if we are generally speaking supposed to love our neighbor or our brother as ourself how much more are we to love that one with whom we are one flesh and that's the trajectory of the Apostles argument we are to love that woman that God has given to us because God has fused us together and made us one flesh John Calvin says every man by his very nature loves himself but no man can love himself without loving his wife therefore the man who does not love his wife is a monster and he's absolutely positively correct if the man does not love his bride if he does not cherish her if he does not n iser we have the right to conclude that the man is a monster he's a beast with a man's head he's not functioning properly he's not only contrary to the written law of God but he's contrary to Nature it's an absurdity it's something that shouldn't obtain it is an anomaly it is something that is so wretched and so vicious and so vile what do we think of the the wifebeater well that man is criminal that man deserves punishment that man deserves sanction he's supposed to provide for her and he's supposed to protect her but instead of doing that he beats her he hurts her he emotionally abuses her that is absolutely Godless and absurd and so the Apostle invokes this particular principle and then notice the implication of this one flesh argument in verses 29 to30 first he explains it look at what he says in verse 29 this four is explanatory he gives the proposition in verse 28 so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself and now he further uh amplifies that with implication for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes it just as the Lord does the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones so notice that the text assumes something it assumes that we don't hate ourselves again there's people out there that do there are people out there that that engage in self harm there are people out there that engage in suicide but they're not the rule they are the exception you've heard that statement before the exceptions prove the rule well that certainly holds true here most of us don't ingest arsenic most of us don't stand on railroad tracks most of us don't jump off of high buildings most of us seek a healthy degree of self-preservation most of of us seek a healthy degree of nurturing our flesh so that we don't die and that's the apostles implication no one ever hated his own flesh again the emphasis is not narcissism but preservation Matthew P says no man and then he goes on to say none in his right senses when you see the man that's about to jump off the building or dance on the railroad tracks you understand that he's not in his right mind there's something on off there's something not uh properly functioning there there is a lawlessness about him that betrays the natural order Thomas says just as man sins against nature in hating himself so does he who hates his wife again he's not dealing in the in the realm of Redemptive uh reality he is dealing with creation he's dealing with natural order he's dealing with what obtains what's innate to every man who's come from the hand of God Almighty created in His image knowing certain things in other words we're hardwired if you go down to Best Buy whims probably going to discourage that there's probably better places online and you buy a computer and you bring it home and you flip the power switch on something happens why there's an operating system already in place well we come from the hand of God with an operating system already in place we bear His Image there's certain things certain truths that resonate with us even apart from special Revelation but again special and general Revelation are in Perfect Harmony what God does in creation God affirms in Redemption with reference to the parallel in the law so go back to the verse notice in verse 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh the sixth commandment the sixth commandment says you shall not murder the best interpretation of the Comm Commandments of God the Ten Commandments is in the reformed tradition I would encourage you to look at Westminster larger catechism it gives a whole rule a set of sort of hermeneutics or principles on how to approach The Ten Commandments and they make this obvious observation I mean it may be obvious to me because I've read their their explanation but it should be obvious to all of us if the text specifically says do not murder then implicitly it means do what you can can to promote life right if the text says do not commit adultery then by implication it suggests or confirms or affirms your duty to be a one-woman man or a one-man woman if the text says do not steal and you see Paul do this in Ephesians chapter 4 let him who stole steal no longer but rather go get a job make enough money so that you can be charitable to other people Paul does that Westminster divines are simply following the Apostle Paul and his use of the law so with reference to the six commandment Westminster Shorter Catechism number 68 what is required in the sixth commandment it has what is forbidden in the sixth commandment obviously poking somebody in the heart with a knife false you know prey to that uh shooting somebody in the head with a 38 special all those things are certainly prohibited but but what can we say positively what is required in the sixth commandment it says the sixth commandment requires all lawful Endeavors to preserve our own life and the life of others makes sense right so back to the text verse 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh and then notice this next implication but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church so this idea of n nourishing the word simply means to provide food it means to get this nourish right it means to sustain something with something so that that something can continue on so he nourishes his own flesh right you probably all ate today unless you're fasting you'll probably eat tomorrow unless you're fasting why because you want to nourish your flesh you don't want to die you don't want to perish you don't want to starve to death and then the next statement he says cherish and that simply means cherish or comfort so look at the apostles argument verse 28 so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it and now he goes back to a Redemptive category he goes back to the the the situation that he already presented just as the Lord does does the church just as the Lord does the church so he holds up Jesus once again as the standard and he says to US based on this principle that we find in nature this principle that we see Advanced or spoken to in terms of of redemption he says the Lord Jesus cares for his church this way the Lord Jesus nourishes her the Lord Jesus cherishes her so the argument is is that e me in my flesh seeks to nourish and cherish the argument is is that one uh this one flesh is made up of husband and wife so the main point here fellas isn't make sure you eat today and make sure you cherish yourself today the point is nourish your wife and cherish your wife in other words take active measures Implement active measures to promote her good physically and spiritually provide for her pray pray for her protect her love her show her affection the language of nourish and cherish indicate affection it's not stoicism well honey today I'm going to provide you food and I'm going to give you one ug because that's my call with reference to following Jesus no you lavish it upon her you care for her the way that the Lord Jesus loves the church so the Apostle is bound to encourage us to live in a manner that is consistent with God's design and then notice at that last bit or verse 30 rather for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones you see where he's going with this the relationship between a husband and wife parallels the relationship between the Lord Jesus Christ and his church so so basically men stop being lazy stop being apathetic stop being dead beats stop being negligent stop being Rebel transgressors of God's holy law both special and general Revelation and do what the Lord Jesus does relative to his church what we have is a beautiful analogy here of the way that the Lord cares for us John Ed glosses this way he says Christ nourishes the church he feeds it with his word he Fosters it by his Spirit he gives it the means of growth and the plenitude and variety of his GI gifts he revives and quickens it by his presence and guards it by his Almighty power from harm and destruction that's Paul's Point here Brethren so with reference to Redemptive category love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her in the realm of creation you came from the hand of God knowing this you came from the hand of God understanding this so when you don't carry this out you're not only only sinning in terms of the law that is revealed in the Old Testament and New but you're also sinning against God in terms of nature Paul's logic here is impeccable that brings us then thirdly to the affirmation of the one flesh argument where do you think he goes to affirm this he goes to the creation account he goes to the Book of Genesis notice in verse 31 for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh so again General Revelation is in harmony with special Revelation what God does in the created order is spoken to by God in the revelatory order and if you look at this appeal to the Book of Genesis I think we learned three things from the Apostle first the creation account is authoritative I mentioned that this morning the god haters say I can't believe you'd actually believe that Genesis 3 is is true it's so mythological we've got talking snakes we've got apples we've got all these things again if the god of the Bible is who the god of the Bible is then everything else follows but with reference to Genesis the Apostle treats it as authoritative again it's not suggestive it's not this is a good way to think about it if you're so inclined but it is authoritative I would suggest secondly the creation account is accurate it's accurate it's not mythological but rather it is historical look at the times that Jesus and his Apostles in the New Testament appeal to Genesis 1-11 in their Ministry in their teaching it's usually Genesis 1:11 that is called into suspicion it's Genesis 1:11 that can't be true based on materialistic and scientific principles that have taught us so well I mean we all trust science it's impeccable isn't it I mean put a mask on don't put a mask on put a mask on when you enter into the restaurant but once you sit down at the table then you can take the mask off because evil covid won't find you Brethren some of us were suspicious and I don't mean science the scientific method the scientific method is based on scripture the testimony of two or three Witnesses confirm a fact that's how science is supposed to proceed you bring up a hypothesis you test it either you a confirm it or you deny it and you cast it out that's the scientific process process but science has been deified in our day thus saith the Lord has been has been done away with for a barbaric and Antiquated people now it's what has science said what has science taught so typically it's Genesis 1:11 that is discarded by humanists by secularists and unfortunately sometimes by professing Christians as yeah it's not accurate it's not really uh scientific it's it's not really speaks to the issues it's it's Fable and it's myth and its story to encourage and strengthen us and teach us in our religiosity well Brethren If you deny the first Adam how do you affirm the last Adam If you deny the hyos of Genesis 1:11 how do you have it Matthew Mark Luke and John you have to understand the apostles and Jesus appeal to this passage the Lord Jesus when he's questioned about divorce where does he go to answer the question he goes to this passage Mage he goes to Genesis from the beginning it was not so but God created man male and female and then God brought them together in harmony is one the Lord Jesus in Matthew chapter 19 when he uh uh refutes the the the the the the Pharisees that come to him he appeals to the Book of Genesis and then I would suggest as well the creation account is paradigmatic that simply means it's a battern when we get saved it's not as if okay you've got to learn everything new again let's just go right back to the drawing board no where does the Apostle go when he upholds role distinction in the New Testament he goes to the Genesis account 1 Corinthians chap 11 uh 1 Corinthians 11 which forbids a woman praying or prophesying in public worship how does Paul argue well I'm just the Eternal enemy of women I'm a chauvinistic Pig I I just don't want women to pray and prophesy in public worship no no no God and His creation established this particular order 1 Timothy 2 when the Apostle says I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man this is in public Worship in the church worship why is that because God made Adam first and he made Eve as his help meate and then Eve was transgressed or deceived and then transgressed and then as well in Ephesians 5 and in Colossians 3 how does Paul argue he argues from the creation account he argues from what God had intended originally so when we're remade or made a new in Christ Jesus with knowledge and righteousness and Holiness there's not a brand new set of marching orders now we're empowered by the Holy Spirit now we're enabled by the spirit of living God to actually love our wives the way we're supposed to to actually submit to our husbands the way that we're supposed to so he invokes this as proof for what he is saying in terms of General Revelation now as he applies this look back again at verse 31 for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh you can see how it functions in his argument here I would suggest first it highlights the blessedness of the marital Union I'm a big fan of marriage Brethren when young people come into my office for premarital counseling I usually like to tell them that I'm a big fan I love it I think it's great it's not good for man to be alone I know there's some men that have been gifted by God for that very purpose but for most of us it's just a blessing that some woman actually wants to live with me praise God that she can cook praise God that she's you know Pleasant to the eyes praise God this is a win-win winwin scenario and I think that's what Paul is pointing out here notice for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother he goes on to say and be joined to his wife the wife has become even more wondrous to the man than his own parents Paul's not denigrating parents God's not saying parents are bad but what Paul is saying is that there is a uniqueness about the marital Union that obtains in a way that no other relationship does our parents are wonderful and we should love them and esteem them but once we get to a certain age we leave them we find the woman that is willing to live with us forever and we put a ring on her finger and we love her and we are thankful to God for that kind provision secondly it demonstrates the intention of god notice for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and notice the two shall become one flesh so he starts in a creational category moves back to Redemption in verse uh 29 just as the Lord does the church and then goes back to this creational argument to affirm what he's insisting upon love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her love your wives because she's you not in some weird mesh of you know DNA or anything like that it's it's metaphoric obviously we still remain individuals but in our marital Bond We Are One flesh so it demonstrates the intention of God as well it confirms the legitimacy of his argument he wants your conscience he wants your obedience he wants you men to pray for your wife to provide for your wife and to protect your wife he wants you to do what Christ does with the church you've been bought with a price therefore glorify God with your body and soul it belongs to the Lord therefore when you say I do really mean it and do what God has called you to do this is not only something specific to Christians in Redemption but it's something that is specific to All Creatures who put rings on each other's fingers God has this purpose and I would suggest finally under this head the application of the creation account to underscore the absurdity of the man who does not love his wife as he ought to underscore the absur it of the man who does not love his wife as he ought I mean that flows from the text for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this one flesh relationship based on what he said in verses 28 and 29 no one no one hates himself no one tries to hurt himself no one tries to to to be a menace to himself no he rather nourishes himself and he cherishes himself again not like narcissist who looks in the reflection and falls in love but that self-preservation that desire to take care of oneself in a responsible way so the Apostle wants you to come away from Ephesians 5 if you're a man tonight and you've been derel in your duty to repent to confess it and to forsake it and to find Mercy honey I haven't been the man that Paul tells me I'm supposed to be I hope you do that brothers and I hope you do that sisters maintain short accounts with God and with one another it's not the case that we're not going to sin against each other is it well you know I do I'll never sin against you baby I'll never sin against you hubby no no never it's gonna happen it's GNA happen like all the time I'm not trying to discourage any wouldbe you know suitors from pursuing their dime but I am suggesting that there is sin in the marriage relationship what do you do with that sin do you Harbor it Paul speaks to that in Colossians 3 husbands love your wives and what do not be embittered against her you know the best way to not be embittered against her is to sit her down and to talk to her I I know that seems odd but remember Leviticus 19:18 don't don't hate your neighbor in your heart or your brother in your heart but what rather what rebuke him huh what's the connection the connection is is that I'll hate my brother in my heart if there's some breach between us so let's fix the breach let's repair the ruins let's get at this together see what happens in marital disharmony is we're fighting with one another we should band together and solve the problems that we face because we are after all one flash right that dis Harmony that lack of Manliness to say you know honey what you did wasn't right or to say you know honey to your husband what you did wasn't right we are husbands and wives we're also brothers and sisters not in some weird you know Southern State way but we are Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus and we bear relationship that way as well if your brother sins against you what do you do hate him in your heart continue to be embittered against him avoid him like the plague say like you're dead to no you go to him you tell him his sin and if you if he hears you you've won your brother how is marriage any different than that how is marriage something over here well you know I'm really upset with my wife have you talked to her well no well don't talk to me go talk to her I'm really upset with my husband you know he need have you talked to him well no Brethren you have to be big boys and big girls as they say put on your big boy pants and your big girl pants and do what you're supposed to do this is God's command this is God's word this is what God calls us to and then finally he rounds out this section with the application of the one flesh argument he makes first a christological application in verse 32 and then he returns to the marital Union application in verse 33 and I think personally there's more going on in verse 32 than I know I think there's something more going on there not some esoteric mysterious thing I just am Limited in terms of competence and ability but notice the christological application in verse 32 this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church it's almost like that's kind of his main point it's kind of like that's what he wants you to get from all this look at the created order look at the relationship you bu to your wife or your husband but I want you to focus upon those Redemptive categories VAV the Lord Christ and the way that he is United to his church he's already told us in Ephesians 1 and Ephesians 4 that Christ is the head of his body and so he brings that aresh in this particular argument in verse 32 this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ in the church now Brethren that would indicate that there is a typical significance of Adam and Eve in the garden right Adam and Eve typify or prefigure Christ in the church but I don't even think that gets at it because when God made Adam and Eve he already knew that Jesus and the church would be related as head to body so Adam and Eve are somewhat modeled after Christ and his church but they also somewhat typify Christ and his church so when it comes to that this isn't new in biblical Revelation you've You' got the typical significance of Psalm 45 Psalm 45 I've preached on before and I've entitled it the royal wedding and I don't mean by that those people in England that do this every few years and they spend lots and lots of money The Royal Wedding Christ is described in the first half of the psalm and then his bride is described in the latter half you've got the book called The Song of Solomon which in the hands of some preachers over the last several years has been relegated to a technique manual for new lovers that's not the purpose for the Song of Solomon it's not a technique manual for new lovers but rather it's about Christ and his church it is about the Lord Jesus and his church in fact John Owen makes the observation the whole book of canticles or the song is designed to no other purpose but variously to show for shadow forth to insinuate and represent the mutual love of Christ Christ in the church he says blessed is he who understands the sayings of that book and hath the experience of them in his heart but even beyond that or in consistency with that what was yahweh's relation to Israel again when I speak about them being married it's not the same as our marriage there's not that physical component it's a mystical Union but Yahweh with his bride old Covenant Israel in fact he divorces old Covenant Israel he tells them he's going to do that northern kingdom the southern Kingdom better take heed so this is not a new thing in biblical Revelation and Paul comes now to apply this very specifically and tells us it is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church how does Jesus describe himself he describes himself as a bridegroom in Matthew chapter 9 he describes himself as a bridegroom in John CH 3 where are are we heading in the eschatological future to the great marriage supper of the Lamb according to Revelation CH 19 so while Paul is giving instruction on husbands and wives and how they're supposed to function with one another he never ever leaves his favorite subject which is Jesus Christ and him crucified and resurrected Jesus Christ as the head of the church Jesus Christ as our leader Jesus Christ as our ruler Jesus Christ as our governor and then he rounds out the argument with another reminder in verse 33 nevertheless is a little particle that simply signals a return to the main point so getting back to what he's been saying in terms of the overarching principle submitting to one another in the fear of God verse 21 and then the concrete application in the home between the wife and the husband and he says or reminds us what he has already said nevertheless Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself summarizes well everything that he has said and interestingly notice what he goes on to say with reference to the wife and let the wife see that she respects her husband he has said earlier to submit to her husband well that submission isn't supposed to be a grin and bear that submission isn't supposed to be with a rebel heart that submission isn't supposed to be stoic that submission is to be in showing due respect so the man is to lead in the context of love the wife is to submit in the context of respect the Greek word might fear uh fear you scare you a little bit it it's fear now Brethren he doesn't mean by that hide under the piano when the man comes home that that that's not it we speak of the fear of God and there's two types run and hide under the piano because God's coming and he's going to get you and then there's the and that's not that that's Matthew 10 fear Him who has the power or ability or Authority rather to kill both body and soul in Hell there ought to be that fear at some point in our lives God is a consuming fire but there's that fear of God which is reverential law it is that respect now I'm not suggesting ladies that you respect your husband the way in the same manner that you respect God or fear God but the word definitionally simply means to have a profound measure of respect for to have reverence to have respect again if the man must temper his leadership with love the wife must temper her submission with respect she doesn't just do it because she's commanded she does it because in it there's blessing because in it there's glory to God in it there's good for her husband remember when it comes to the marriage relationship we're not saying I do simply to get we're saying I do more so to give to love to care to nourish to to cherish to show affection to show that submission to show that respect one commentator glosses this way the meaning of the verb here is not Terror but reverential respect based on a husband's god-given position of authority let every soul be subject to the governing authorities for there is no Authority except from God and those which exist are established by God we're supposed to honor the king according to First Peter chapter 2 and verse 17 there's responsibility for uh citizens of the body politic well there's responsibilities within the mar marital Union husbands to their wives wives to their husbands so Paul rounds out his argument here in conclusion just a few thoughts and then we'll go good way to sort of summarize all that we've seen in this particular section first of all the institution of marriage its biblical Foundation is in Genesis 2: 20 to 25 this wasn't the best idea that Sinners could come up with this is instituted by God it predates civil government it predates the church sort of technically it is a union that is not like other unions I mean it is in some ways there's parallels but the husband and wife relationship even trumps the the the parent and child relationship you parents as your children you know get out and get married don't be upset that they're not spending in time with you I mean they should at some point or you know hopefully they'll spend some time with you but you want your sons to love their wives you want your your daughters to to submit to and respect their husbands you you want them to embrace their biblical Duty so the institution of marriage is God rought as well our confession I think defines it well in 2 London 251 marriage is to be between one man and one woman neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time I think that definition has served well throughout Millennia unfortunately doesn't serve us too well today because as I said this morning we've taken Cosmos and we've tried to make chaos out of it we've taken God's gracious uh order and we have inverted it and perverted it and that is UN unacceptable as the people of God let us model the the the good things that God has given in a way that's attractive to others if you don't love your wife the way that Christ loved the church you're giving a wrong impression ladies if you don't submit to your husbands the way that the the the Lord or the way that the church submits to her husband uh or to her head you're not giving the right impression you are you are false advertising and then in terms of the lawful lawful parties it's not just given to Christians as Christians it's given to creatures as creatures and I hope that if there's there's any unconverted here this part of God's law would convict you right God says husbands love your wives you you have this one flesh relationship with her you don't hate yourself you don't despise yourself you don't starve yourself you don't not Comfort yourself so if you're not doing that for your bride then you need to repent you need to forsake your sin you need to come to the Lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness and for that imputed righteousness that is received by faith alone and then the presence and the power of the holy spirit so you can love her properly as well with reference to the responsibilities in marriage because we're dealing with husbands I'll just repeat wife submit to your own husband the way the church is commanded to submit to the Lord Jesus Christ and then just a few things just to summarize what I think Paul is saying the necessitate a leader with love it's not argued for it's assumed that the husband is the head of the wife Paul's issue here is not that Paul's issue is how how are you going to to love your wife you're supposed to do it the way God commands that means a a love that is self-sacrificial just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her the necessity to love her with the intention to promote her physical and spiritual well-being nourishing and cherishing not despising and avoiding and hating not neglecting not abusing no you're supposed to intend her good both physically and spirit spiritually nourish her and cherish her the necessity to love her with affection and kindness if the sort of orbit in which the wife is to submit is to be marked by respect the orbit in which a man is to lead is to be love it is to be affection it is to be kindness it is to be gentleness again First Corinthians 13 if it argues for us to relate to one another that way you better be relating to your bride in that way and then with reference to this the necessity to love her with Christ is your standard that's just built into the text and I think that if we're listening we should probably all have a little bit of repentance and a little bit of asking for forgiveness because we're not like Christ and then thirdly I would suggest to you brothers that have wives show gratitude be gra uh uh uh thankful for your wife first to God listen to Solomon an excellent wife is the crown of her husband he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers but a Prudent Wife is from the Lord brothers are praying every day praying for your wife praying to God and thanking him for your wife well I did that you know three years ago well you better visit that again because as Solomon says God has blessed you how does proverbs 31 that section on The Virtuous wife start who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies do you thank God for that Which is far above rubies in your life Luther described his wife this way the greatest gift of God is a Pious amiable spouse who fears God loves his house and with whom one can live in perfect confidence it's beautiful statement so thank God for the wife that he has given you but may I dare suggest that you thank her as well she has to live with you she has to deal with you she has to put up with you and you say well I don't want her to get proud I don't want to make her head swell you know again Solomon at the end of proverbs 31 many daughters have done well but you Excel them all right do do you ever just praise your wife well you know she's got this tendency to gloat she's got this tendency to want worship or agulation or adoration probably she doesn't she does want some appreciation once in a while again you know we're we're ready to go stop a bullet for our wives are you ready to thank her for a good meal you ready to thank her that she picked up your socks are you ready to thank her that she puts up with you many daughters have done nobly they've done well but but baby you Excel them all don't fear that you're going to build her up with pride and she's going to gloat she might actually start to radiate even a bit more and then I want to end with an encouragement to the single men who want to be married we've done this now three times what's the first point be marriable God give me a woman that's going to submit no first pray God give me the grace to love a woman the way that I'm supposed to give me Grace to do what I'm supposed to do to be marable to to prepare to to make sure that I can pray for her to make sure that I can provide for her to make sure that I can protect her and then dare I said proceed with caution proceed with wisdom proceed carefully again I invoke Solomon but she who causes shame is like rottenness to his bones this is the parallel thought to what I read first in the other section an excellent wife is the crown of her husband but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones or how about this one better to dwell in a corner of a Housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman ladies if your man wants to live on the roof you've got to repent sorry somebody had to say it if he cannot wait to get away from you yeah it could be him could be but it could be you too and as well Proverbs 25:24 it is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman and then proverbs 27:15 to16 this one's always resonated with me cuz when I was a kid the big fear was the Chinese water torture the Chinese water torture we heard tales and stories perhaps Fable and myth that you know if you got in bad with the Chinese they lay you down on a table and you know just drop drop drop drops of water on your forehead till you went nuts till you just lost it I mean I can't imagine water boarding would be a little bit more of a vicious approach but you know if you got time you want to do the Chinese water torture listen to what Solomon says a continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike whoever restrains her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand I think it was my brother over here that said that his brother had once said his brother was a pastor and he said the only thing worse than being single is wishing you were single in other words proceed with wisdom proceed with caution proceed with prayer proceed in your search for a woman who will pick up your socks and make your waffles and lie in your bed proceed with caution that's the encouragement that's the exhortation and I guess I was lying because the last point is we need to look unto the Lord Jesus Christ as husbands and as wives these things are I don't want to confess this but sometimes difficult and we need Grace we need help we need the spirit we need that orientation that is Heavenly minded such that we can fulfill our Earthly obligations live in light of the Cross of our blessed Lord Jesus Christ praying for the Holy Spirit to enable us and to guide us along this Pilgrim Way well let us pray Our Father in heaven we thank you for your word we thank you for Paul's Clarity in this section of Ephesians 5 I pray for your bless ing upon the families in this home I pray for all of the individuals all of the single people that want to be married that you would provide for them Grace to be what they're supposed to be and provide for them a wife or a husband that is suitable that is comparable that is a helpmate and we pray that you would just bless us and help us now as we go into a new week further conform us unto the image of Jesus Christ and help us to be faithful in our various callings and we pray through Jesus Christ Our Lord amen we'll close with a brief time of meditation